All in all I had a pretty good year if you don't count the part about my Mom dying and then me losing my job. The Mom dying part was hard and I will probably write about it in detail some day. I actually sat next to my mother and held her hand while died and no amount of reading about how that would go could have prepared me for how it really did go. I'd like to thank Mitch Albom for his sappy little book about dying that actually made the process much easier for me to endure. The idea that my Mom might meet people from her past and be able to reconcile some of the many and enormous hurts in her life was very comforting even if it was completely contrived. When you come right down to it, everything we think about dying is mostly contrived except for the part about white light and peace. Enough people have had near death experiences to confirm that one.

I 'lost' my job much the way I might 'lose' someone at a party who is a little too focused on self aggrandizement or on my boobs (ha ha - that's a little joke as my boobs are not worth focusing on). I did not like that job. The company was fine and a lot of the people were fine but I didn't fit in and I never felt comfortable and although I liked my boss as a person I really disliked him as a manager. So I left.

I then spent 4 lovely months doing this and that including working as a volunteer at 826 Valencia, an activity that fills me with nearly as much joy as I get from my children. I work one afternoon a week at the tutoring center helping young children with their homework and I put in some time out at various high schools and at Everette Jr. High helping with writing projects. I just love it and one of these days I'll have time to indulge myself with teaching and tutoring as a full time endeavor.

For now I have a contract and will be returning to work. I'm hoping to be able to do some work with 826 still but we'll see how it goes. In my line of work the hours tend to be really long. I also just turned 50 and I'm adjusting to that idea. I'm supposed to run a marathon in May and do a mini-triathlon in July or August which is a self aggrandizing way of saying that I'm in great health and damned glad of it.

Happy New Year to all! May 2005 bring us a big fat impeachment followed by a regime change to people with enough sense to terminate this miserable war. A girl can dream, right?