21st Century Mom

Result:
Friday's Run (avg pace 11:34)
mile 1 - 10:30
mile 2 - 10:57
mile 3 - 11:04
mile 4 - 11:27
mile 5 - 11:47

That didn't make me happy but then again, I did it. It still left me wondering why. Why, why, why do I subject myself to this pain? I'm not sure I really know but I think it is because if I don't have a goal that is just a little out of reach I will just putz along or maybe not work out at all and be a slacker. I'm not quite sure,Saturday I took a rest day. My legs were still sore and I had to go on a marathon shopping spree with my daughter because her Senior Ball is coming up and we need to find The Best Dress EVER! I also felt like I was coming down with a cold. So, grumpy and tired we hit the boutiques and came up empty handed. Oh well... tomorrow is another day, I thought. I also thought it might be nice to rest one more day but then I would be sabotaging my training plan even more than I already had.

So see, I didn't have much of choice but to run Sunday because The Plan called for an easy run (no distance specified). This morning I was sort of hoping to wake up too sore and too sick to run but no such luck. Nope - I felt fine. After reading a.maria's excellent post on pacing I decided to try really hard to do the same and aim for more even splits. By the time I got out it was looking very dark and rainy but what the heck? I figured I would just head out for a 6 mile run and if I needed to turn back due to pain or rain I'd do it. It rained, I ran.

Result:
Sunday's Run (avg pace 10:48)
mile 1 - 10:18
mile 2 - 10:33
mile 3 - 10:49
mile 4 - 11:32
mile 5 - 10:54
mile 6 - 11:19

Booyah! My times look better, I made it and I don't feel sorry for myself any more. Oh happy day. My buns are sore but that's to be expected, right?

The Plan for this week:
Sunday Run 6 miles (done!)
Monday Swim (done!)
Tuesday Yassos unless it is raining and if so I will go to the pool so I can sneak into the gym and use the treadmill)
Wednesday Swim
Thursday 6 miles easy
Friday REST!
Saturday x-training/strength training (bike? maybe)

So tell me what it is that motivates you to train for a marathon or if you aren't training for a marathon what gets you out the door and on the road or the trail? Maybe someone will write something that makes me say YES! That's why I do this because really, I'm just not sure

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 01:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'd like Sharon to please explain in what world a girl can't get out of having sex unless she is being raped. Rape isn't sex, Sharon - it is coersion, it is abuse, it is a power trip designed to humiliate.

Is it any wonder that when you click the link
"Click Here for all you need to know about: SHARON STONE" you get a blank page?

What a maroon.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 12:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today I was scheduled to run 5 miles assuming I am in the Level 3 group which is made up of experienced, consistent runners. Of course my hammies were still sore and tight from the bike ride so I decided to just go out and make a distance decision on the fly once I got to 3 miles. I ended up going 4 in a not particularly stellar time which is okay because today was supposed to be an 'easy' day. I'd like to say it was easy but it was not. It never is. My run looked like this (which you can't probably read):

My times were:
mile 1 - 10:16
mile 2 - 11:15
mile 3 - 11:37
mile 4 - 11:53
Not the desired result but that's what it was.

I did not wear my new shoes because the weather is ugly and I didn't want to dirty them up right away. In fact, I picked the only time during the day when it wasn't pouring rain so I lucked out there.

I have high hopes for this marathon season. I am going to do the miles, do the cross training and do the strength training and I am going to try to run a sub 5 hour marathon. 4:59:99 would be fine.

Oh - and I'm probably going to do another metric century on the bike on May 6. I think I really did lose my mind on that last one.

Addendum:
This came our schools Daily Bulletin Today. All I can think is WHAT??

Come to the vanilla bake sale after school on Friday March 31 to support the Women Leaders for the World program.

A bake sale for the Women Leaders for the World program?? Somehow that just seems wrong.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 02:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Getting Going
My friend C who got me in to this thing picked me up early Saturday morning and we headed out to the event after picking up friend B. It was pouring rain and all we could do was hope for the best. By the time we had parked the truck the rain had stopped – a good omen. Registration for this thing was extremely well coordinated and we got checked in in a heartbeat. Another good omen. Friend E showed up and got her stuff and everyone was ready to go. Only problem was that I had no bike The sweet little $4400 bike I was using on loan wasn’t there yet. Finally at 8 AM I told the others to go because I didn’t know how long it would be. This was a mistake as the guy got there about 10 minutes later and I got the bike in the next 5. Oh well.

I hopped on this bike that I had never ridden and thought WHOA – I’m riding on air! This little bike was suweet!! It weighed NOTHING! I messed around with the gears a bit to figure them out and get used to them and then I was off. I was awesome! I was a powerhouse! I passed woman after woman and was just flying down the road. Lady Garmina tells me I was moving at 12 – 15 mph which is a good clip for me and much faster than I move on my Trek. There was but one word to describe this early experience - Bikegasm!

Disaster strikes and I get robbed

At about 12 miles I notice a strong vibration in the front end of the bike and realized I had just gotten a flat. DAMN! I stopped and got the front wheel off the bike and was about to apply my tire changing clinic know-how to the situation when a Sag wagon stopped. I was really grateful for that because I had forgotten to bring my pump although I did have a spare tire. Anyhow, sadly enough it turned out the Sag Wagon guy was no master at changing tires I knew I was in trouble when he was unsystematic and really rough about getting the tire off. Then he manhandled the tube out by the valve stem which of course tore. So much for that tube. Long story short he had a hard time getting the new tube in and when I started riding there was a bubble and then BAM! The tire blew. He changed it again and it seemed okay but no - 1/2 a mile later BAM - it blew again. I was so tempted to assist him and exert my own tire changing knowledge but I wanted to be gracious. After all this guy sacrificed his Saturday morning to help with the ride. In retrospect I could have both been gracious and helped out and come out ahead but we all know that thing about hindsight, right?

What happened instead is that he looked at me and said, "I could do it again but it might make more sense to go to the rest stop and see if someone who is better at this can do it so I agreed. Sadly, that meant that I rode 10 miles in a car and was thus robbed of actually riding my bike 65 miles not to mention missing out on what turned out to be the best part of the ride.

On the road again

We got to the rest station where I got some food and water and then took the bike to the tire pumping tent and got the flat fixed properly. That guy was good! I finally got back on the road and as I recall the next part of the ride was fine. We wound through some countryside and then through an industrial park, such is California. Still no rain but the wind really started picking up. I was a little spooked about my front tire but decided to just keep riding and assume it would be fine.

They Call the Wind Mariah – I call it Torture.
16 miles later I was at the lunch stop. I made and ate a sandwich and tried not to be too upset that it was now clear that I would not be rejoining my friends on this ride as they were easily 45 minutes ahead of me.. I got back on the bike and headed out again. At this point we were really heading out to farm country and the wind got really strong. I’m pretty sure it was blowing in the neighborhood of 20 – 30 mph and it was relentless.

For the most part we were heading straight into it. I have never worked so hard on a bike in my life. Not even those Dr. Seuss like elevation maps held a candle to this wind. I started to get really aggravated because we were out in beautiful farm country – there were cows and horses and sheep and goats. There were barns and vineyards and beautiful green hills (that's what it looked like last year). And the wind blew and it blew and it blew and all I could do was clutch my handlebars, drop the bike into first and pedal, pedal, pedal. My glutes were tighter than the skin on Joan Rivers face and I hurt. My groinal area felt mashed and bruised and yet even going down hill if you didn’t keep pedaling you would come to dead stop and fall over.

I kept glancing up hoping to see a turn – desperately yearning for a turn. Every time I saw that we got to hang a right I rejoiced only to be crushed again when we turned left. There were more miles heading straight in to the wind than having it blow at our sides and when it did blow at our sides we had to list to the left to keep from getting blown over. It was brutal.

In Which I Lose My Mind
I started losing my grip on reality. Like a prisoner who hasn’t seen the sun for days I attempted to reconfigure what I was going through into something else- anything else. I imaged that I was sailing and that wind was a huge bonus but I wasn’t fooling myself – not for a nanosecond. Instead my thoughts turned to how lonely I was, how sad it was that my friends didn’t wait for me (no matter that I told them to go ahead and then had a flat tire disaster). When I had last spoken to one of them via cell I suggested they wait for me at the last rest stop and she told me that C and B had their husbands coming and didn’t want to hold them up. E said she would give me a ride home, instead (her husband didn’t come out with her). Ugh – husbands. Everyone had a husband but me. I started feeling so sorry for myself and grumping that being alone was the story of my life. I had gone to Europe alone when I was 19. I had driven across the country alone at 23 and now here I was at 51, out in the middle of nowhere fighting the wind and I was alone again. I was alone, had always been alone and would, forever after be alone. I would die a lonely old cat lady who works as a Walmart Greeter. I was doomed So what if there were about 100 women around me. So what if I have great friends who love me? Oh and kids, what kids? Loser, loner, pariah.. I hate my life… I hate myself….. I CANNOT STAND THIS WIND ANOTHER SECOND AND BY THE WAY I HATE BIKING!

I know - I'll Quit!

And then it hit me – I could quit! I could just get to the next rest stop and toss the bike in a sag wagon and get a ride back to the start. That’s it! That’s what I’ll do. I planned my whole speech to justify not finishing. Why put up with this pain and this crap wind and oh by the way it was hailing on us now. I’m wet, I’m cold, I’m tired and hell, I don’t even like cycling anyhow! So what if I have this cherry little machine? I HATE THIS – I’M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! IS THIS REST STOP NEVER GOING TO MATERIALIZE!!!??? Pedal, pedal, pedal….grrr…. rumble… rumble Hello cows, hello sheep, oh please stop the wind, oh please God have mercy.

I started trying to compare what I was going through to my last marathon. I was in some significant pain half way through that race but at this point in the ride that struck me as a higher quality of pain – more endurable, almost pleasurable. Never mind that my first stop after the finish line was the Red Cross tent. It wasn’t so bad and by the way did I tell you I HATE BIKES! I really want to quit.

The Lemon Drop Man
There is a man who goes out on the course every year and hands out lemon drops to the riders. I had forgotten about him but as I was pedaling up a hill and a man started to hand me something I said, “Oh – are you The Lemon Drop Man?” and he said, “Are you my Princess” and I said, “Yes, yes I am, I am your Princess”. And I had a lemon drop and I had a Prince and the prince told me that if you made it this far you were going to make it to the end and I kept going – pedal, pedal, pedal. ” (that’s not me in the pic. My pics aren’t up yet)

The Last Rest
At last, the rest stop materialized and up I went to find something. A sag wagon? Some water? My mind? I didn’t even know. I got some water and overheard some women saying that the wind should only last another 5 or 6 miles. Someone else said it was mostly downhill to the end. I took heart. I drank another glass of water and turned my trusty steed around and got back in the saddle. There was only about another 16 miles to go and I could do that – I was sure of it.

After I had been riding for a couple of miles I realized something important. I was riding strong, I was not hurting too much and felt good – really good. Instead of pedal, pedal, pedal, grrr, rumble, rumble I was really moving – Lady Garmina confirms that I was back to the 12 – 15 mph pace I had enjoyed at the beginning.

The only thing I did wrong was I kept anticipating the end without really knowing how much further I needed to go. That anticipation of finding the finish around every corner was a little annoying but not too bad – I still managed to ride well. I hooked up with a couple of women who obviously do a lot more cycling than me and made it my business not to fall behind and that turned out to be great strategy.

The Finish

Not too far from the finish I connected again with my friends via cell phone and learned that C had decided that she and her husband would stay to take me home. When I got back I (almost tearfully) turned in my beautiful bike – my new best friend, and filled out a questionnaire. I walked up to the clubhouse and there were my good friends sporting big smiles, just waiting to greet me. My dementia vanished in a second and I once again felt befriended and loved.

Success!
I did it – I finished the race and I felt good. My butt was sore, my butt bones felt mashed and I was disappointed to have missed 10 of my 65 miles but my heart and soul beamed with self satisfaction. I hate to admit it but I’ve already found myself using the phrase ‘next time’ today. Could it be that my mind is still wandering around out there with the cows?

Shout outs
1). To C for inviting the rest of us to do this event with her and for having the delicious pasta feed Thursday night. Good times
2). To Valley Spokesmen for putting on such a fantastically well organized event. The start was fast, the food was great, the Sag support was plentiful, the CHP were out in force in case anyone got hurt and they needed to summon help and a good time was had by all in spite of the horrific conditions. You are a commendable club.
3). To all of the Princes working the ride – the Sag wagon guys as well as the food servers. Special thanks to my Sag wagon guy for being there and doing what you could to help.
4). To Specialized Bikes for loaning out their new line of women’s bikes for testing and feedback. You are my new favorite company
5). To Justice Baxer of Wheels of Justice for taking up the call with Specialized and staying at work until 8 PM on a Friday to fit riders to bikes. Justice you rock and your bike shop is my new favorite store.
6). To E for crowning us Women of Iron and giving us a sticker to prove it.
7). To B for joining the party and for that Apple Cake recipe - yum!
8). To the RBF for all of your support
9). And last but not least, to me for going the distance

Next!

When I got home my new Gel Kayano XIs were sitting on the kitchen table in a box having just arrived via UPS. Tuesday I start training for the SF Marathon. I can hardly wait!

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

On the plus side, I got the bike. It is very fancy and light weight and has been fitted to me with expert care and precision. It will make me feel like a stud. I just wish I could feel all crisp and sun shiney and healthy. Oh well - a stud is a stud, right? RIGHT?!!! And healthy? Oh you bet. Only a healthy person would ride a bike 65 miles in the rain - right?!! RIGHT??!!

At least I wasn't planning on wearing a tiara, tutu and boa like a lot of the women. This ride is the Cinderella Classic and they go all out. I prefer to be a woman of iron so no foo-foo stuff for me!

Stay tuned for a full report.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 05:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It is pouring right now - hard. Oh please, oh please, oh please let it stop!

Thanks to all for your kind words regarding my loss of a friend. On Sunday there is going to be a gathering of family and friends to tell stories and remember him. That will be good. Hopefully I will cry like a baby and then I'll feel better. Or maybe I will be crying because my ass is so sore from the ride. We'll have to see.

Good luck to Bex in her marathon - woo hoo!

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday I got a call on my cell phone to tell me that a friend had died. Not just a friend. This man was my very first boyfriend after I got divorced. He was the man who freed me from my stupor and fear and made me realize that just because I was 37 and had 3 small kids my life was not over and I would still be able to have fun. And we did have fun. We skied and we hung out at his beach house and he teased my kids like some sort of crazy uncle and he was affectionate and attentive and he really cared about me. He was probably the first man I had ever been with who really appreciated me as much for what was between my ears as for anything else. He was a quirky, interesting and very engaged person. He was also 18 years my senior and at some point I started to feel a genuine generation gap so I changed the relationship from lovers to friends. He was predictably gracious about it and we stayed close over the last 13 years.

I found out about a year ago that he was battling leukemia. His prognosis was quite good, though. More recently I had spoken with him after having to track him down. I was worried about him and rightfully so - the disease was back and he wasn't doing that well. His sister answered his cell phone and told me he was in the hospital and that she would let me know when he was out. I didn't hear from her or from him so I called again and learned that he was going to be put on some aggressive chemo but that he didn't have to stay in the hospital for it and of that he was thankful. Turns out the chemo gave him dementia and really took a toll so they changed his protocol. I checked on him once again and he said it was going better. I meant to go see him - I really did. I told myself every day that I needed to call Chuck and arrange to go see him. I knew he didn't want visitors when he was feeling sick but still - I just didn't call. And then his sister phoned me to give me the bad news. All of a sudden he took a turn for the worse and he was gone. And that's it. No more Chuck - no more first boyfriend, no more crazy Uncle, no life long friend.

I'm still stunned and more than a little angry with myself for not getting up to see him. Granted, he really didn't want visitors when he was not feeling well and he was upset about losing his hair. Still - I just didn't make the time and I'm sort of sick about it.

Grief is weighty. Grief can suck you dry. Grief compounded with a self inflicted guilt trip is even worse. I know he wouldn't want me to feel that way and I know I won't feel this way forever. I'm going to try to muster up the energy to ride strong on Saturday. It's the least I can do for him and for me.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 03:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Back to the ride - from very early in the day my legs were killing me, I was slow and I felt really lousy primarily because I couldn't keep up with the other 3 women - I couldn't even come close. Usually I fall behind on the hills partly because I have the lowest end bike, partly because I have spent the least time cycling but mostly because I am slow(<- see what I mean?? arrghhhhh!!). Yesterday I couldn't keep up with the pack for more than 5 minutes before I would fall behind - way behind. The pyschological impact of that was devastating. The part where my friend fell in a creek while waiting for me didn't help. Here is the elevation map:

Although it may look like we handled some big hills we only changed elevation by 350 ft over 10 miles. That's a gentle up followed by a gentle down with a few not all that steep hills thrown in the middle. On one of them I actually walked my bike up the last 50 yards - I NEVER DO THAT! This ride was nothing like the last big one I took where I kept my butt in the saddle and wasn't too far behind the group and yet I just couldn't hack the load.

I was just about to write a post on working to achieve our potential and I was going to riff off of Little Miss Runner Pants most excellent post about how running has had such a huge positive impact on her life and oh baby - I had a good one in my head. Going on a 56 mile bike ride seemed as good a jumping off point for that post as anything so what do I do? I blindside myself with self-loathing because I had a bad day.

Next week will be better, won't it?

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

And I owe it all to you, people - oh yes I do.

I have a list of things to write about that includes:
1). The first baby bird flies from the nest
2). I'm a middle of the packer, not a loser at all
3). I'm going to register for a 10K - I have goals
4). Potential - it ain't just a difference in electrical current

But first I have to finish my taxes so that baby birds 2 and 3 can get some financial aid for next year. Stay tuned.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I actually always did feel a little bit bad for her back then, assuming she was a typically abused woman who had a ragaholic boyfriend who controlled her. I assumed she went along with what was his plan and it was all very tragic. However, after seeing one or two (too many) recent clips of her acting all belligerent and trailer trashy I think not. She has had access to tons of support and help and she could have set about making herself a stronger, less victimized person. I don't get that that's what happened, at least not from those clips so there isn't a snowball's chance in hell I'd watch a show about her.

Of course I don't watch stuff like that anyhow but still - why do they bother? Why not spend that time profiling people who overcome adversity and do something great like the guy in the clunky hospital wheelchair who made it up a huge hill in his first race even though he was seeing white with pain (where did I read that? - help). Not there's a story worth watching!

Anyhow - I just wanted to answer my own question but now that I have the answer I wonder why I had to ask. I could have guessed.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 08:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

First of all, we obviously covered a lot of ground. Second of all check out that elevation map! Hooey! I look at that and envision myself as one of those crazy Dr. Seuss characters with long furry limbs climbing straight up a hill with a manical grin on my face (notice I did NOT compare myself to one of those guys riding the Tour de France). We won't mention that it wasn't exactly straight uphill although it felt like it (it was a maximum grade of 20% and baby, that is steep!) And the grin? That was really a grimace but hey - I made it! Here - let me just blow that elevation map up so you can really see it.

The other thing you can do with the Garmin data is upload it to Google Earth and then zoom in and tilt and play, play, play. It's like living the whole ride over again and again. You can set the thing up so it seems like a helicopter ride over the route you took. You can't exactly see the hill and dale as we rode it but you can see how hilly the terrain is. Too bad playing on the computer doesn't burn up the same number of calories per unit time. I could really use that function. I'd put it on the 'tools' menu and mark it 'hot fudge sundae eradicator'.

I'm really glad I got out there last weekend because this weekend is shaping up to be ugly on top of cold and I'm not going out in that kind of weather. I have an indoor trainer and I know how to use it. The Garmin won't do me any good on that thing but I could rename it 'the hot fudge sundae eradicator'. Unlike my Garmin, the trainer really can fill that function.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Dunzweiler was acquitted of charges he coerced Doe into having sex with him. However, he was convicted of five lesser charges, including having sex with another potential recruit, providing alcohol to recruits, lying to Marine investigators and asking others to lie for him. His rank was reduced from staff sergeant to corporal, his pay was docked by $1,300 and he was restricted to base for 30 days.

Sgt. Brian Fukushima was convicted by the military in September of sexual misconduct, adultery and asking a recruit to lie to investigators. He was demoted to corporal, his pay was docked $1,000 and he was restricted to base for 30 days.

A third recruiter, Marine Reserve Cpl. William McFarland admitted guilt and was punished administratively. The terms of his agreement weren't made public and he isn't part of Wednesday's suit.
A third woman who accused one of the recruiters of rape in court-martial proceedings opted not to join the suit, according to lawyer Barry Vogel.

I still say the punishment does not fit the crime and the military is doing itself a disservice when it treats crimes against anyone so lightly.

As for the 'why would they have to sue if it really happened' please see this. In short, most rapes to unreported because the defense effort is always to discredit the witness and make her look like she was asking for it or she was consenting. Only very brave women push the envelope on these things and they do it at great pain.

SAN FRANCISCO / 2 teens sue, say Marine recruiters raped them

This is a story about 2 young women who wanted to serve their country so they went to sign up for the Marine Corps. The recruiters raped them. The recruiters were court martialed and found guilty. Their punishment? They got demoted. Then they were ushered out of the Marines.

Jail time? Oh no. No jail time.

THEY TOTALLY VIOLATED THESE WOMEN AND THEY LOST THEIR JOBS!

I don't believe they even got a dishonerable discharge.

Apparently raping women is just no big deal in the military. Apparently a woman wanting to serve her country best think twice about that. Otherwise she might spend the rest of her life coping with the fallout.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 08:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Please go visit Newfie girl who is from Newfoundland. She writes short, bite sized posts about various and sundry things in her life. She also has an adorable little doggie named Dr. Taco. Please go check them out!

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 09:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

2). Thank you Philip Seymour Hoffman for recognizing your WonderMom. You are correct - it isn't easy raising a bunch of kids on your own and she really deserved that recognition. Also, you were great in Capote and I'm glad you won.

3). Thump, Thump, Thump - that's my heart looking at George Clooney. Thump, Thump, Thump that's my heart after he opens his mouth and shows the world what intelligence, class, civility and charm look like.

4). Charlize - that bow? No. No, no, no....Don't ever let a designer talk you into something like that again. I was pretty sure that thing would come alive any moment and swallow your head.

5). Lili and Meryl - that rambling, on top of each other dialog - brilliant. I ? both of you, too.

6). Jon Stewart - did I tell you I love you?

7). 360 or whatever you names are - grow up and learn to respect the situation you are in. You looked like rebellious school boys and if you had taken a crap on stage it wouldn't have been a whole lot more offensive. It isn't always about ghetto culture. I hope you are ashamed of yourselves.

8). Helena Bonham Carter - you have more money than God. Use some of it for a decent stylist next time.

9). Academy - good job. You did a really nice job considering what a popularity contest the Oscars are. Go Crash!

10). See you all next year.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 02:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

When I was a teenager, if I did something egregious that was against the rules (like lying to aid and abet bad behavior) I would do my best to turn it all around and point out some awful, unjust thing my mother did or to point out something good I did above and beyond the call like clean up the kitchen without being asked.

Apparently our president got stuck in his teens (that's probably when he started drinking - alcoholics tend to have their emotional growth and maturity stunted at that point) because his response to being caught in a lie about Katrina is to ask for line item veto power.

Right - that's a good idea - NOT!

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A couple of years ago I watched the movie 'The Magdalene Sisters" which is a fictionalized account of a real order of Catholic Nuns who took in "wayward" girls and enslaved them in their laundry business. This movie follows the story of a couple of girls, one of whom was sent there when she got pregnant out of wedlock. When her baby was born they let her have him until they found an adoptive family and then they lied to her and just took him away. They never gave her a chance to try to make a life or be his mother. They just took him away. The filmmaker was able to interview this woman in her 70s and when she talked about how they took her baby away she broke down in tears. More than 50 years later that incident still cut like a knife even though she was ultimately reunited with her son when he was in his 50s. Today I read a story about a woman who lost a child at birth in th 40s. She went on to have a couple more kids and to foster over 100 babies but she still remembers the face of that sweet baby who died like she saw him yesterday.

And that's how motherhood is for many of us. The strength of the bond we hold with our babies makes carbon fiber look like cheap crepe paper. I have always felt that way about my kids no matter what I have done in my life. I'm an ardent feminist and I have had a pretty robust professional life but I identify myself primarily as a mother and a really successful one at that. I adore my now adult kids and they adore me, too. They also think I'm pretty hip and maybe just a little bit crazy.

I started this blog intending to be the voice of experience and success and to write about what it takes to be a successful parent in the 21st Century. I didn't get far, though before I realized that the world is changing so fast that you all will have a different and probably worse set of problems to cope with. The sex, drugs and rock n' roll of my youth morphed into oral sex at an early age, enhanced drugs that are even more addictive and toxic than anything I ever ingested and a horrible set of STDs that are life threatening. And the beat goes on. On top of all of that we are constantly threatened with the loss of personal and civil freedoms and a world that could easily erupt into WW III - it really could. I don't feel so qualified to help you navigate these waters any more and I also don't see that you need me. You, the young mothers who are filled with the joy little kids bring into your life have each other and are doing a fine job picking your way through the minefields of modern life. I may pipe up once in a while with a post related to raising kids in this unpredictable and confounding world we live in but it isn't the reason I keep a blog any more.

I love it that the Internet has provided a global platform for sharing our triumphs and fears, our experience and our need for counsel. I'm probably one of the more senior members of Crazy, Hip, Blog Mamas and I'm as likely to write about running or politics as I am to write about parenting but no matter what I write about I'm really happy to be here.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Thank you Firefox for trapping me in a sea of mediocrity. And thank you, anonymous for letting me know that my blog was unreadable in Firefox.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Sorry about that.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

No - I'm going to announce that I ran 4 whole miles yesterday. That is the longest run I've been on since Christmas Eve day when I ran 5 miles. I guess you could say I haven't been doing a lot of running. I've done some swimming and some biking but I could hardly be admonished to stop over training.

There are 2 remarkable things about my run yesterday. Three if you count the fact that I really didn't want to go out at all. First of all, I was only going to run 3 miles and then I decided to adopt the Jeanne/Bex model and run 40 minutes. When I started approaching the 40 minute mark I started feeling like I just couldn't wait to stop - like I could hardly go on. Then I looked at Madam Garmina and she told me that I was very close to covering 4 miles and all of a sudden 4 miles trumped 40 minutes and I felt a surge a strength and whoosh! I kept going. I love that. I covered 4 miles in 43:06 which is almost respectable. The breakdown:

Mile 1 - 10:17
Mile 2 - 10:26
Mile 3 - 10:58
Mile 4 - 11:24

Not so remarkable. Sort of like a wind up toy with a battery end of life situation, eh? I really need to do something about that pace thing and learn how to keep going without just flagging over time. This really drives me crazy because it is absolutely consistent. I'm like the anti-Energizer Bunny and I don't love that. harumph! This is not the post I started out to write. Oh wait - I just looked at the elevation map and it was all up hill for the last mile or so - phew. I think I'm okay.

The other remarkable thing is that when I loaded the data into Motion Based it told me I started running Tuesday. I guess I'm not the only one who feels like my runs take forever and a day.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 04:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"A Cook County judge today backed off a threat to charge an alleged rape victim with contempt of court for refusing to watch a video that reportedly depicts her being gang-raped. Judge Kerry M. Kennedy had warned the woman Tuesday she could face a contempt charge and possible jail time if she refused to watch the video prior to cross-examination by the defense."

And that, my friends, is the power of the internet at work.

AlterNet: Blogs: The Mix: Relive your rape or go to jail

This now 20 year old woman was raped while under the influence when she was 16. The guys video taped the whole thing. The judge is telling her she MUST watch the video tape or face contempt of court charges.

If you ever doubted that the reason girls seldom report rape * is because they just end up vicitimized by the legal system this story should help you see things for how they really are.

So sad. Please send an email on this woman's behalf. Especially if you live in Illinois.

* Rape is the most underreported crime in America. Significant changes to improve the treatment of sexual assault victims have occurred in the last two decades. The impact of reforms, led by the women's movement, can be seen in the legal, mental health, medical, and victim services arenas.

The FBI estimates that only 37 percent of all rapes are reported to the police. Bureau of Justice Statistics of reported versus actual rapes are even lower 30.7 percent.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I am not a fan of shoes other than my Gel Asics but I love snarky fashion humor and he is very, very good at it.

Posted by 21st Century Mom at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)