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The beautiful thing about getting to the end of one year and living in a culture that celebrates the beginning of a new year is that it gives us pause to stop and reflect on things past and on what we want for the future for ourselves. Most of our lives are wrapped up in thinking about other things and people - our jobs, our homes, our families, our community. All too often we barely squeeze ourselves in to the mix of what is important and when we make ourselves a priority we suffer guilt and then we suffer guilt when we don't make ourselves a priority and fail to meet our goals. Oh geez - must life be so difficult?

New Year's Day is all about the goodness that is "me". It is about assessing the year gone by for its highs and lows and deciding how this year can be better, richer, more fulfilling, and both more self absorbed and more selfless. It is about finding ways to be more dedicated to what is really important in life which requires us to think about what is most important in life and how we can, i n the words of my all time favorite insect, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. .



My goal for 2008 is to do just that - be more positive. Most of you don't know this but I'm a bit of a cranky pants. I'm pretty quick to focus on the negative get all worked up about perceived injustice and then act on that and when I say "act" I mean "lash out". And then I get a grip, stop and cover and apologize and smooth things over. I'd like to improve on that and really focus on seeing that glass half full so I don't go through the cranky pants routine.

Another tendancy I have is toward self-sabotage so I want to start honoring my intentions instead of blowing them off with cheap excuses. I want to toss myself out the door for a swim or a run or a ride knowing that whatever reason I have to avoid it isn't worthy of derailing my plans. I want to spend less time surifing the web and more time indulging my interests. I want to push for a strong finish in whatever I am doing be it a race or creating a report for work and not give up with that cheapest of all cheap excuses "it doesn't really matter, anyhow". In short I want to stay on top of things instead of putting myself in react mode and then pushing the rock up the hill against the added weight of self generated defeat. I want to march forward with a sense of purpose and optimism calling out "Feets don't fail me now!" with no particular reason to think they will.

All of this reminded me of my favorite Tracy Chapman song - Change.

This song asks the question 'how bad does it have to get before you'll change". The beauty of New Year's is that the intention to assess and change isn't motivated by fear or sadness or problems - it is motivated by hope and the promise of new beginnings and New Year that is as bright and shiny and unsullied as a newly minted penny. So here's to everyone's shiny bright New Year. May you realize your goals and may your penny be as bright and shiny at the end of December as it is today.

**Update - I added PantherGirl's code to my page so you can click right over there ---> to help Kelso pay his bills. Thanks! This code should scroll the black Friday specials, too.

My friend Panther Girl has a greyhound she rescued named Kelso. Kelso had a spinal disk problem that landed him in the doggie hospital. As luck would have it he didn't need surgery but he did need the well attended convalescence long enough to rack up a bill for $3200. Ouch.

So - do you by any chance have plans to purchase something at Amazon.com in the near future? If so, if you could get to Amazon via The Dog's Breakfast, Panther Girls most excellent blog, she will get financial credit for any purchases you make. You don't need to buy the stuff featured in her side bar - you just need to get to Amazon via her sidebar and then buy something.

Thanks a bunch and Kelso says "Woof!"

Andy Baldwin is up for grabs again!!

"Truth overheard from the finish line announcer, “And here he is, Number 1549, Andy Baldwin, the Bachelor, and he’s still a bachelor.” Yep, Andy and Tessa have decided to split up and see where things are when he returns from the Persian Gulf. "

Now I feel doubly sorry for the 2nd runner up. I also feel doubly ooged out that he picked Tessa up and carried her across the finish mat at IM KY. It seemed very inappropriate and like a publicity stunt at the time and I kind of creeped me out. It's one thing to run across the mat with your family or give a loved one a piggy back ride (that happened yesterday!!!) but treating the finishing mat like a post-wedding threshold? ew.

Also, in case you didn't hear, Sister Madonna Buder did not make the bike cut off. How sad. She said she'll be back next year. >

ps - I'm totally hooked on the Bachelor this year. I'm almost ashamed but it's the truth.

Evil... evil, evil, evil.... I cannot even imagine having my trust violated and my heart broken like that.

We might as well go back to the days of the Coliseum and lions eating men alive.

gak.

disclaimer - I didn't watch the show all season. I didn't watch as other women got bruised and battered but I did see what happened to the second place woman and that is just evil.

ps to AJ - good one figuring out the outcome.

I should revise that - oh what a weekend. It started Friday afternoon with an invasion force raiding the local nail shop for manicures and pedicrues and continued that night with a group of about 30 people at my house for tamales and Margaritas. We polished off a handle of Tequila and a case of Corona in no time flat! Saturday morning the same group assembled for Wedding Morning Mimosas and then the day was off. We had little errands to run, hair appointments in the afternoon and then it was time to get dressed for the big event. I was fine until about 30 minutes before I got in the car to head up to the room. And then I was a wreck. I forgot my bracelet. I forgot to put the chip in my camera which was then rendered useless. I didn't fully charge the battery for the video camera and then forgot to take the AC adaptor with me.

When we got up to the room it finally hit me - I was the Mother of the Bride! I almost started crying right then and there but held off until the bride arrived.

It was a gorgeous evening in a beautiful setting

When the Bride arrived I I gave her hug and then looked at her adoringly while she almost cried.

She drank champagne and laughed with the groom.

The wedding ceremony was really amazing and magical. It was the most heartfelt, authentic, romantic wedding on record. The officiant has been the Bride's best friend since they were in high school and the words she wrote and then read to the attendees made everyone cry and laugh and rejoice. The couple wrote their own vows which were a perfect expression of their feelings, their love for each other, and their vision of their shared future. There were a couple other readings and some more words and then the Mother of the Bride completely broke down and cried like a baby.

After that there was only 1 thing left to do - toast the couple and dance.

Or, in some cases, dance like a fool

Everyone was touched and everyone had a great time. It really was the most fantastic wedding I have ever been to. I feel honored to have been a part of it. I could NOT have done it without a considerable amount of help from my sister. Thank you so much!!

These picutres represent but a mere fraction of the total. I'll have to figure out some sort of slide show when we get the digital images from the professional photographer.

HA! There will be no lists! We have delivered everything to the caterer, I have a Dark and Stormy in my hand and I am off to celebrate the joy and happiness of my first born and her true love.

Stay tuned for pics early next week!

The airwaves have been rife with the notion that Triathlon chooses us - that we resonate so completely with the sport that it feels like a calling, a destiny. Well I'm here today to tell that I'm like the last kid standing in the 'unchosen' line in P.E. class. The one nobody wants on her team but who plays anyhow for whatever reason.

To give credit where credit is due I first read this 'chosen' notion on Stronger's blog where she was referring to what Kahuna said. When I couldn't remember where I first read that notion I did a search and found a similar post by Daniel Clout on Beginnertriathlete.

I'm glad other people feel chosen. They probably feel competent, too. Not me. I'm a great example of how you really can cram a square peg into a round hole. Of course if the diameter of the hole is bigger than the diagonal distance across the square it's no contest but I'm not very big. And I'm not very strong. And I'm not much of an athlete. I'm tenacious and I persevere but it is definitely a brute force effort and I don't love it. I love me a little bit for doing it but I don't love the sport.

This weekend was a painful reminder of why that is. Saturday I had 22 million things to do so instead of going out riding with my friends I just went for a short ride locally. I went to the road with the hill that tried so hard to kick my a$$ a few weeks ago. It kind of kicked my patoot again but having just climbed the Berkeley hills I knew I could do it so I did. When I got to the top of the hills I could only marvel at my prior accomplishments. What happened to the Queen of the hills? She abandoned me and left me yearning for a leg transplant.

My run yesterday was also a total bust. Of course my Garmin has started lying through it's non-existent teeth about my pace and that just really gets me down but still - I felt heavy and slow. I did take the opportunity to run up a big old nasty hill because Wildflower is pretty much all about tackling hills but my pace overall stunk. It's the first time I've run 11+ minute miles in a long time. No joy there.

I will not be denied, though. I will not lose confidence. I will love myself no less. I'm eternally grateful to every single couch potato in the world because next to you I look like an athletic Goddess but I'm no goddess. I'm not even very good. All I can do is set my goals, train and try to make them and when it doesn't work out just move on to the next thing. I'm really glad I do it, too because I'm in the best shape of my life and because I meet great people both in real life and on the internet and I will soon meet a bunch of internet peeps face to face - good times!

Triathlon, you may be a reluctant date but I'm not letting you go just yet. I will keep coaxing you and whispering sweet nothings into your 3 ears, ignoring your scorn of me because I'm sure that if I do this long enough we'll find mutual love. Please stop being so recalcitrant and tell me you have feelings for me, too.