the cutter

am i the happy loss
will i still recoil
when the skin is lost
am i the worthy cross
will i still be soiled
when the dirt is off

every time i hear that song (the cutter - echo and the bunnymen) my mind wanders back to the old snl skit with a mohel in the back of a lincoln, dan aykroyd at the wheel driving over heavily rutted roads while a brit milah is being performed. well, even without it being performed in the back of a luxury automobile but rather in an antiseptic doctors office, the concept of removing the foreskin still curls my toes and makes me wince. but to the pediatrician's office we went today and we left leaving a little dna behind.

smsmh was nearly beside herself with anxiety while we waited in the office. she held tc as i wandered around the room and found all the tools for the procedure laid out on the counter. seeing the clamp, i advised her to stay on her side of the room, lest she pass out. the doctor came in and walked us through the procedure, as he talked about it, smsmh grew more uncomfortable while i grew more confident in his abilities. the doctor was actual a mohel and made the joke that he wasn't used to performing for such a small crowd. levity in situations like that win the day. every time.

smsmh wasn't going to be able to handle it, so she opted to wait out in the lobby. i popped tc up on the table, pulled out a bottle of sugar water and started feeding him. the doctor began with the anesthetic, then the clamp and finally the cut. tc cried exactly when the doctor said he would, but as soon as the procedure was done, he was calm again. smsmh came back in after tc had been bandaged and his diaper put back on, mixed him up a bottle and began feeding him. again, i was surprised at how calm he was and he was asleep before we left the office.

the whole process was incredible and i'm glad that i was able to be in the room with him during it. just another step in the little guys development and it's exciting to be a part of it. funny. i keep realizing that i get to be a part of all this because he's my son.

** i realize that this is a subject that receives MUCH debate. our choice has been made (obviously) and this is NOT a place to discuss it, this is simply me reporting on what is going with little tc. if you feel the need to berate me for my choice, please take it to email or keep your comments to yourself. thanks. **