grave robbing

well, i knew i couldn't mention number five on my tag list and not blog about it immediately.  all of the internet peeps that i've met over the years, run races with and slept in their houses are all thinking, "holy moley, and i let him crash on my couch?!?"  i'd better tell the whole story before people start freaking out!

so, i mentioned i'm stealthy, right?  one of things that i used to like to do as a teen was climb out my bedroom window at night and just wander around town in the dark hours of the night.  sometimes i'd go to work [i cleaned an office.  dusting, vacuuming, emptying trash, that sort of thing] and finish up something i'd skipped earlier.  other times i'd drive to a park and just wander around the park.  there was even the odd occasion that i'd meet up with some friends and we'd go hang out somewhere.  in every case, though, it was pretty benign. 

on this specific night, some friends were going to pomona to hang out on top of a hill that overlooked the city.  at night, the lights of la county are pretty impressive.  to get to the top of this hill required parking in an industrial complex at the bottom and bushwhacking your way to the top.  why this hill and not some other hill that we could have DRIVEN to the top of, i'll never know.  i was just along for the ride, even though i was driving.

so, it's 1am or so and we park across the street behind a dumpster so that the car is well hidden.  we cross the street, hike through the parking lots and take a dirt road to the base of the hill.  where there happens to be a very old cemetery.  through the cemetery we go, hop the fence at the back of it and start our way up the hill.  before too long, the climbing got really rough and we eventually stopped about 3/4 way up and just sat there and watched the city.  again, all pretty benign, right?  right.

it was windy and cold and after a short while we were uncomfortable, so we headed back down the hill.  we hopped the fence to the cemetery and headed back toward the car.  as we walked through the cemetery, we heard noises.  at one of the graves, we saw three people earnestly digging away.  we slowly approached and saw it was three college age guys.  we asked them what they were doing and they responded, "this is our party bud, we're digging him up to take back to the frat house!"

woah.  these guys were whacked.

the three of us quickly left and continued on toward our car.  no sooner had we left the demented frat boys when a police helicopter flew over, shining it's light down through the trees on us.  we picked up our pace as the light followed us and then switched back to the grave site where the guys were still digging.  we took the path back to the parking lot and noticed the guys car parked on the path in plain sight.  i looked in the window as we walked past and noticed a whole casket gurney contraption in the back.  these guys were  serious!

as we passed their car, several police cars pulled up and stopped us.  we emphatically said that we weren't with the guys back in the cemetery and tried to continue on to our car, but they stopped us and had us sit on the curb near one of the cruisers.  we waited while the police went into the cemetery and collected the frat boys.

we were shuffled into the police cars and they began driving us to the sheriff's station.  over the radio, i could hear them calling ahead telling the dispatcher that they had two groups of three that they were bringing in.  let me take a break from the narrative to explain something.

the frat boys?  they were dressed as preppy as could be.  polo shirts, khaki's, loafers.  my friends and i?  mohawks, eyeliner, leather jackets, combat boots, etc.

when we arrived at the station, the booking officers automatically assumed that my friends an i were the ones that had been digging up the grave.  we continued to protest that we had been involved, but our appearance seemed to speak louder than our voices.  we were booked and taken to separate cells.  i sat for a while in my cell, alone, wondering what in the world was going to happen.

before too much longer, i was collected by an officer and taken into an interrogation room.  i was questioned again and again about what i'd been doing and why i wanted to dig up the grave.  i held to my innocence, but they wanted none of that answer.  back to my cell i went.  after a couple minutes, i was back in the interrogation room, being questioned again.  fortunately, this time my story had been confirmed by my two friends and by the three frat boys.  i was thankful that they'd been adamant that we weren't involved with them.

despite that, my parents were called at about 3am and told that they needed to come and pick up their son, who'd been arrested for grave robbing.  i'm quite sure that came as a shock to them, since they were sure i was safe in my bed.

my parents came and picked me up and fortunately i wasn't charged with anything.  of course, the punishment at home was worse than anything the courts could have imposed at the time.  so, i ended up with a clean record and a great story to tell at parties.

and that, folks is how i was arrested at age 17 for grave robbing.