September 2006 Archives

Last week was a crazy week at work. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I worked 13+ hour days in order to prepare for a demo for a bunch of higher-ups here at the Youtheran Center. That means I was still getting up at the same time in the morning (4:45), but rather than running, I was heading straight to work and putting my nose to the candle at both ends.

So, this week was a return to running, of sorts. It really bothered me that I had to skip a few days of running as I have been stringing together a series of ridiculously good workouts. I don't know if it's the weather, my diet, or what, but my times have been steadily creeping down (along with my weight). I am running faster than I ever have before. I can only think that my extra mileage (starting in June) along with speed and hill work are finally starting to payoff.

This week I decided to increase my weekly mileage yet again. My schedule for the past few months has been fairly rigid. 3-6-Hills(3)-6-3-10. That comes to something on the order of 30-ish miles a week. Today I added 2 miles to my normal Tuesday run for a total of 8 and intend to do the same thing on Thursday. I think I will keep MWF the same (no more than 3.5 miles followed by circuit training) and add 2 miles to Saturday's long run. So, for those of you keeping score, thats 3 + 8 + 3 + 8 + 3 + 12 = 37 miles a week. According to conventional wisdom, the magic number of miles to run a week in order to reduce belly fat is 20...37 is more than 20. Plus, I don't want to plateau. You do the same thing day-in and day-out, your body will adapt and you end up really good at running that distance, but are crap at anything longer. My long-term goal is to get up to 50 miles a week, but raising your mileage by more than 10% at a time is asking for injury. As it is, an extra six miles a week is skirting the line.

My marathon goals for next year are failry simple: less than 5 hours, less than 4.5 hours, less than 4 hours (one goal for each race). The order that I do that really doesn't matter to me as long as each time goal is satisfied.

One final note: I made the turn this morning and started heading back to the office on the Apple Creek Trail. The sun was finally at my back and no longer blinding me. I stopped to walk for a bit, fiddled with myPod, took off my wind-breaker and tied it around my waist, took a breath and started running again. As I looked at my shadow streatched out before me, I was struck by the form my shadow took. Upright, lean, arms swinging in time with legs and loose at my sides. I listened to my breathing and found that it wasn't labored even though I was running a bit faster than my usual pace. It dawned on me that I wasn't looking at my normal self, but myself as a runner. For the first time I thought of myself as a runner in the same way I look at all those ultra-fast and good looking folks in races and on the trails as runners. I no longer felt like I was some kind of poseur just going through the motions. I wonder if everyone has this kind of realization as they progress in skill level and begin to improve...but it was a first for me and the experience was one of this "this is why I run" kind of things.

Run Fat!

I have always lived my life by a simple creedo: Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'. Target keeps starting somethin'.

There is a Target in Green Bay near my home. This is my default Target, the one my wife and I automatically go to when we need the types of things that are sold at Target. We know the layout. For any given item, we know where in the store it can be found so we can get in, get out, and get on with our lives. It's simple. You would think that the people who design the layouts for Targets would get that people like me enjoy (and sometimes crave) this level of routine.

So why do they have Targets with different layouts? The Target near my office is completely different thereby making my shopping experience twice as long and twice as frustrating. It's like a goddam scavenger hunt with a word problem for clues. All I can say is the next Target that is laid out differently from the one I am used to had better watch itself.

"I tried to walk into Target, but I missed." - Mitch Hedberg

I don't mean that my watch doesn't keep time accurately. It most certainly does. I mean that it literally smells like hammered crap. Here's the scoop:

A few months ago my previous timepiece used for running (a Timex Ironman) crapped out. I high-tailed it to Walmart where I purchased a new Timex Ironman. This time, I bought one with a nylon strap as it was much more comfortable than the old plasti-rubber strap my previous model had. Everything was right with the world.

This morning, I opened the side pocket of my gym bag where I keep my watch hibernating until needed. I was immediately hit with a stink that would have made Sarah abandon her quest to save her brother from the Goblin King (the reference here being that she had to negotiate the Bog of Eternal Stench during her journey...leave a comment if you know what I am talking about). In this particular pocket, I keep small items such as my iPod, my wallet, work ID, etc. Nothing that would generally smell. I figured out what it was when I took out my watch and put it on. The strap...the nylon strap...good freakin' Lord it was ripe.

So, it seems that months of summer running and the consequent sweating associated there with caused my watch strap to absorb all manner of Fat Runner leavings. This problem is made worse by the fact that after I sweat all through the strap, then place the strap in a warm, dark place. The side pocket of my gym bag is evidently Club Med for bacteria to grow, eat, and die (the end result being stank, yo).

Runners talk about black toenails, bloody nipples, PF, ITB Syndrome, sore muscles, etc. I bet none of you ever considered that your watch would be a grim reminder that you not only have one (or many) of the common afflictions singular to runners, but that you sweated so much in getting them that your watch is now little more than a petri dish that beeps on the hour.

I am new to the Breaking The Tape family and as such not many of you know who I am, where I come from, etc. I am also willing to bet that very few people have read my previous blog over at Blogger. So, in order to dispell rumor and myth, I am focusing my two-fisted amateur journalism bazooka at my favorite subject: me. Here is a little window in the world of the Fat Runner!

Q: What's your real name?
A: John

Q: Where do you live?
A: I live in a small town in Northeastern Wisconsin that is outside of Green Bay.

Q: Where are you from originally
A: I was born in Fort Belvoir, VA, just south of Washingon, D.C.

Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: Boxers. My boys need to roam free.

Q: Any family?
A: I am married (sorry, ladies!) to a lovely woman named Amanda (Wife of Fat Runner). I have two kids...twins, in fact born August 16th of this year: Johnny and Shannon. My older brother and his family also live in Wisconsin (about two miles away) and I have a wonderful twin sister in Norfolk, VA.

Q: What do you do for a living?
A: I am a software developer for a large financial services company based in Appleton, WI.

Q: How long have you been running?
A: I started running seriously in January of 2004 when I up and decided that I wanted to run the Suntrust Richmond Marathon in November of that year. I trained for and finished that race and have been addicted to running and fitness ever since.

Q: Are you really a fat runner?
A: I believe in truth in advertising.

Q: When is your birthday
A: December 7th. I am turning 30 this year.

Q: What are your future marathon plans?
A: I am planning on running three marathons in 2007 (3 for my 30th year).

Q: What is your favorite color?
A: Blue.

Q: What is the most annoying thing to happen to you in the past 48 hours?
A: The realization that I am going to have to buy the Star Wars Triology on DVD AGAIN because George Lucas has lied to us for the third time.

Q: What brand of shoes do you run/race in?
A: Brooks Radius 06 currently. I am a huge fan of the Radius line of footwear.

Q: How do you feel about the literature of the Ukraine?
A: Seemingly pedantic with a whimsical prose style.

Q: Do you think that Lindsay Lohan gets a bad rap?
A: I really do.

Q: Are you concerned about the career of Dennis Quiad?
A: I was at one point, but DQ has made a wonderful resurgence in recent years.

Q: What's your favorite televison program?
A: Hard to pick just one. Here's a list of some of my favorites: How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development, Scrubs, My Name Is Earl, The Office, Black Adder (all versions), Star Trek (original and TNG), Battlestar Gallactica, The Soup.

That's all for now. If there's anything else you'd like to know, please ask. My life is an open book.

This past Saturday I ran in the Schneider National Pamily Fitness Event 10K. I was hoping for a PR. For me, that would mean running it in under 55 minutes. That's slow for a lot of people, but fast for me so back off!

I was cruising along for the first 2.9 miles. I was on pace to get my PR and then some. I was on fire. I was fast and loose. But, tragedy struck. Right as I was crossing the 3 mile mile mark, I was hit with a ridiculously bad pain in my right side. I am assuming this was nothing more than a stitch/cramp, but I had to stop moving for a few minutes followed by walking for a few minutes more. I ran the remainder of the race, but with a great deal of pain. Man, it sucked.

At any rate, my PR turned into 1:02:45. Horrible. I guess the Running Gods didn't feel I deserved a PR this time around. I am still happy that I ran the race. It was my first race in almost a year, and I need to get a few more in before I start my 3 for 30 campain next year.

At least there were a lot of good looking women at the event. Don't tell my wife the real reason I enter these things. ;)

I ran what might have been the single most enjoyable run in recent memory this morning. I felt fast and loose, almost set a PR for that distance, and finished with energy to spare. Workouts like the one this morning remind me of why I love this goofy sport in the first place.

That's why a forced rest day tomorrow is so painful. Not only do I not want to take a rest in order to keep going with my weightloss, I want to see if my streak of good runs will continue. But, alas, I am running a 10K on Saturday morning and I want to get a new PR, so I feel that I must take the day off.

Race report to follow. Keep running fat.

Okay, here's a fun fact about me: I am going to be turning 30 in December. To celebrate this milestone, I have decided that I am going to run three marathons in 2007 (3 for 30...get it?) So, in order to prepare myself to begin training for this undertaking, I have been and will continue to use the rest of this year to lose weight and get in the best shape I can.

Everyone stuggles with weight loss. It's a horrible feeling to step on the scale daily or weekly and not have to move the slider any more to the left than the previous weigh-in. Even worse is when you have to (gasp!) move it to the right a bit. I have been fairly hard-core about my weight loss goals up to this point, and the scale is STUBBORNLY moving to the left. Man, it's taking a while. Ceteris parabis, I have to think that I am putting on more muscle since I have added a circuit-training (i.e. lifting) to my regimen and have added more mileage to my weekly average (right now I hover between 30 and 35 miles a week...not that bad). I do have one free day a week (which sometimes expands to a free evening followed by a full free day). I might want to think about curtailing that a bit.

That being said, I do feel better and look a little leaner. I suppose I need to heed the advice I have given so many others and ignore the scale. But it calls to me every morning at the gym. "Come here, John...I won't dissapoint you!" But it does...every time. So I will continue with my five-six meals a day in the hopes that I will kick-start this jank soon. My current goal is to drop another 10 pounds by September 30th.

Why September 30th, you ask? Good question...gold stars for all of you.

Another fun fact about my is that my wife and I recently (as in two weeks ago) had twins. They are being baptised on September 30th with many friends and family coming in for the big event. This will be the first time many of them have seen me in over a year....you do the math.

Regardless of your ability level, all runners are subject to the same few limitations. Black toenails are one. Overuse injuries are another. A third (and slightly more awesome) are bloody nipples caused by the friction of damp technical fabrics (or cotton) rubbing against certain parts of the body durning a run. What most runners won't admit is that bloody nipples and black tonails (and even ITB Syndrome) are oftentimes worn like a badge of honor to be displayed when among our fellow runners. These maladies are made even more proudly dislpayed when among NON-runners.

"Hey, Bob...you spill coffee on your fancy technical fabric shirt?"
"No, Gary...this morning I ran a distance far greater than you can imagine, and my nipples are bloody as a result."
"So, Bob, what you are telling me is that you ran so far that your own nipples rebeled against you?"
"That's right, Gary."
"And you wonder why I don't exercise."

At any rate, there is one affliction that only runners of a certain geographic disposition must deal with. I live in the frozen tundra of Green Bay, WI and work in the lovely "city" of Appleton, WI. This time of year is perfect for runnes. It's cool in the mornings and evenings, and doesn't really get to hot during the day. Last Friday, I was heading out for my scheduled three-miler when a coworker suggested that I run on a trail close by the office. I took his advice and started running on a small portion of the Apple Creek Trail at around 12:15 in the afternoon. That's when I was attacked by something runners (I dare say) on the coasts need not deal with. An onslaught that can only be described as a swarm.

Crickets.

Crickets with wings.

Crickets with wings that are angered by runners.

Crickets with wings that are angered by runners and retaliate by biting.

My legs were acosted from all sides by crickets that extend their jumping radius through the judicious use of wings. Crickets with frickin' wings that bite! They don't even mention horrible insects like that in the Bible! With every step large numbers of them would alight on my legs, cause damage, then leave to make room for the next group a few feet up the trail. By the end of the run, my legs below the knee were bloody in five different places (for those of you keeping score, that's three more than if I had bloodied both nipples, which I didn't).

Having finished the three miles almost three minutes slower than I usually would have, I could only sit down and think that covering my legs in band-aids or Body Glide probably wouldn't solve this issue. I used to think there was nothing Body Glide couldn't do...I guess I wrong.