The Fat Runner

(For those of you who have commented that I haven't been updating the blog recently...I have been working a lot and I just started graduate school and have been in the high-mileage weeks of training. Step off. Keep reading, though!)

Here's a fun fact...I have started smoking again. To be quite honest, I started smoking again back in June when I went to Virginia to visit a fried of mine. We all smoke. We love smoking. It's a wonderful thing. Because of the smoking I stink, WoFR won't touch me because I stink, CoFR can smell me coming a mile away and don't want to be around me...but I can run like a mother-effing stallion. Go figure. Life's all about trade-offs.

My average times for training runs have been steadily declining though I haven't been trying to decrease my times or increase my level of effort. My weight has gone down. My teeth have a healthy yellow-ish glow. All in all, smoking is the best thing I could have done for my running. Had I started back in January, I might have BQ'd at Pine Line. Who knows? Either way, I think I have proven that years of painstaking research on the part of the medical community in regards to the effects of smoking are complete horse shit. Suck it, New England Journal of Quackery!

Does this mean that I am not still painfully slow and ridiculously fat. No. The name of this blog is a description of it's author; forever shall it be as such. Should the author change in any appreciable way so too will the name of the blog. The way things are going the next name will be something along the lines of "The Odoriferous Celibate Runner Who Continually Pesters His Wife for Sex But Gets Turned Down Because He Thinks Cigarettes Are More Important Than His Twin Babies. You Do, Don't You, You Selfish Prick!?!" Ummm...did I just say that or think that?

At any rate, taper has begun in earnest for Chicago. All I can say is the following: to all of those who will be joining be in the "Open" corral on October 7th I'll be the guy with a Marlboro Ultra Light, a can of Red Bull, and a dream.