According to calculations fed to me by BTT, I spent 24.5 hours training (running) during the month of Febuary. Rounded down, that's one whole day/month, three eight-hour work days/month, over 12 days/year. If a short month like Febuary can produce over one whole day of running, I would imagine that if I kept the same weekly mileage I would go over 2 weeks per year spent running.
Is the time well spent? Like so many things in life, it depends...what do you think?
NOTE: This post originally ran in Dec 2005 on my old Blogger site. Seeing as I have been doing the majority of my training runs on the treadmill these days, I thought it would be nice to bring it back. Enjoy!
For those of you familiar with logic, you will know that proving a negative is considered to be impossible. This very issue has been debated by scientists, philosophers, mathematicians, and alcoholics for centuries. But, the Fat Runner has never been one to shy away from a challenge. I have taken it upon myself to do just that in the form of proving negative running enjoyment.
It's cold in the Bay this time of year. Damn cold. Really cold. Groin-grabbingly cold. For that reason, outdoor runs are generally prohibitive if you want to remain alive. So, that means that most every run needs to take place indoors on the dreadmill or enclosed track. There are both of those things at the YMCA where I work out. This morning, I accomplished my normal Tuesday fat run of five miles by doing two miles on the 'mill, one mile on the track, and the remaining two miles back on the 'mill. This was a nice way to break up the workout (and I was treated to a partial episode of "The Nanny" during the last two miles), but it still wasn't the best of all worlds. While running, I decided that it was time to quantify running enjoyment (E) depending on external variables. In the process of mulling this over in my superior mind, I came up with a way to prove a negative, i.e. -E! The very foundations of our society are about to crumble and I will no doubt receive a Nobel Prize.
Let's begin by assigning a value to E for a perfect run. This will be the control. The higher the value, the more enjoyable the run will be. It's useful to assign a value to E for each mile run, then finding the average of all the mileage values. We are also assuming (for the purposes of this control) that the air temperature is a balmy 70 degrees and there is little to no wind. If wind remains constant (as in a perfect day), we can assign that a value of 0 to cancel it out. If wind is a factor, it would be included in the calculation. So, where are we then? We arrive at the following formula:
n
∑ (j(air temp - wind speed))(v)
j=1
----------------------------------------
n
Knowing that velocity is speed over distance, for this control value, we can set Velocity (v) to a leisurely 5.5 mph for each mile run. n = number of miles run. For the control, we can set this to a normal training run of 5 miles. Plugging in our control values, we arrive at the following:
5
∑ (j(70 - 0))(5.5)
j=1
-----------------------------------
5
Solving for the indexed value of j, we can arrive at:
385 + 770 + 1155 + 1540 + 1925
--------------------------------------
5
This breaks down to an average enjoyment factor of 1155. That's a pretty high value, wouldn't you think? I mean, seriously, anything over a thousand has got to be good because 1000 is a lot. Here we are dealing with a perfect run rated at 1155. Remember that value. It's going to be important later.
Now that we have quantified a perfect run, lets take a look at defining negative enjoyment, or in other words, an indoor winter run. In this case, we can also assume a few things. One is the assumption that the great majority of runners will automatically view a run indoors on a treadmill as distasteful. Because of this, we will not use the sigma notation for this formula. We will rather use the factorial notation to demonstrate that the lack of enjoyment is exponentially greater that the enjoyment of an outdoor run. We also have to take into account those things that are unique to the gym experience. The basic formula breaks down as follows:
E = n! ((number of people in the gym + dreadmill wait time))(air temp)
For the purposes of this demonstration, air temperature is zeroed at freezing (32 degrees), meaning that the last expression will always be negative (if it was above freezing, we would run outside). The number of people in the gym is a function of the number of treadmills versus how many are in use. If there are more 'mills than people, the wait time will be set to zero. If there are more people than 'mills, the wait time will be set as appropriate. Let's plug in the values according to my experience this morning. A normal Tuesday 5 miler. Bear in mind that the temperature this morning was 9 degrees when I left to go to the gym:
E = 5! ((15 + 0)(-23))
We can go through the following to solve for E:
E = 120((15)(-23))
E = 120(-345)
E = -41400
MY GOD! We have just proven that running inside with the above conditions will lead to negative enjoyment! Not just negative enjoyment, but a ridiculously low level of enjoyment! I can see the accolades that are going to be coming to my doorstep! I have succeeded where everyone in the entire pantheon of human history has failed. It's astounding.
Now all of you will understand that when a runner is forced to run inside, the amount of enjoyment to be derived from that run is like having your fingernails torn out. I am a genius. At any rate, there will be more on my ever-so-creative theories soon.
Regular readers know that this is not just a journal about running and fitness, but also about one man's journey through the wonders of Northeast Wisconsin. I am taking quite a large step in that journey this evening. More on this in the next few days.
Just a quick note to celebrate passing 100 miles for the month of October. I am sure this is a common achievement for most runners, but I was excited about it, especially given the number of days I had to take off due to illness and only two runs of 10 miles or more. I am sure as marathon training ramps into full gear in late December 100 miles will seem like a light month...
Run fat!
Last week was a crazy week at work. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I worked 13+ hour days in order to prepare for a demo for a bunch of higher-ups here at the Youtheran Center. That means I was still getting up at the same time in the morning (4:45), but rather than running, I was heading straight to work and putting my nose to the candle at both ends.
So, this week was a return to running, of sorts. It really bothered me that I had to skip a few days of running as I have been stringing together a series of ridiculously good workouts. I don't know if it's the weather, my diet, or what, but my times have been steadily creeping down (along with my weight). I am running faster than I ever have before. I can only think that my extra mileage (starting in June) along with speed and hill work are finally starting to payoff.
This week I decided to increase my weekly mileage yet again. My schedule for the past few months has been fairly rigid. 3-6-Hills(3)-6-3-10. That comes to something on the order of 30-ish miles a week. Today I added 2 miles to my normal Tuesday run for a total of 8 and intend to do the same thing on Thursday. I think I will keep MWF the same (no more than 3.5 miles followed by circuit training) and add 2 miles to Saturday's long run. So, for those of you keeping score, thats 3 + 8 + 3 + 8 + 3 + 12 = 37 miles a week. According to conventional wisdom, the magic number of miles to run a week in order to reduce belly fat is 20...37 is more than 20. Plus, I don't want to plateau. You do the same thing day-in and day-out, your body will adapt and you end up really good at running that distance, but are crap at anything longer. My long-term goal is to get up to 50 miles a week, but raising your mileage by more than 10% at a time is asking for injury. As it is, an extra six miles a week is skirting the line.
My marathon goals for next year are failry simple: less than 5 hours, less than 4.5 hours, less than 4 hours (one goal for each race). The order that I do that really doesn't matter to me as long as each time goal is satisfied.
One final note: I made the turn this morning and started heading back to the office on the Apple Creek Trail. The sun was finally at my back and no longer blinding me. I stopped to walk for a bit, fiddled with myPod, took off my wind-breaker and tied it around my waist, took a breath and started running again. As I looked at my shadow streatched out before me, I was struck by the form my shadow took. Upright, lean, arms swinging in time with legs and loose at my sides. I listened to my breathing and found that it wasn't labored even though I was running a bit faster than my usual pace. It dawned on me that I wasn't looking at my normal self, but myself as a runner. For the first time I thought of myself as a runner in the same way I look at all those ultra-fast and good looking folks in races and on the trails as runners. I no longer felt like I was some kind of poseur just going through the motions. I wonder if everyone has this kind of realization as they progress in skill level and begin to improve...but it was a first for me and the experience was one of this "this is why I run" kind of things.
Run Fat!
I don't mean that my watch doesn't keep time accurately. It most certainly does. I mean that it literally smells like hammered crap. Here's the scoop:
A few months ago my previous timepiece used for running (a Timex Ironman) crapped out. I high-tailed it to Walmart where I purchased a new Timex Ironman. This time, I bought one with a nylon strap as it was much more comfortable than the old plasti-rubber strap my previous model had. Everything was right with the world.
This morning, I opened the side pocket of my gym bag where I keep my watch hibernating until needed. I was immediately hit with a stink that would have made Sarah abandon her quest to save her brother from the Goblin King (the reference here being that she had to negotiate the Bog of Eternal Stench during her journey...leave a comment if you know what I am talking about). In this particular pocket, I keep small items such as my iPod, my wallet, work ID, etc. Nothing that would generally smell. I figured out what it was when I took out my watch and put it on. The strap...the nylon strap...good freakin' Lord it was ripe.
So, it seems that months of summer running and the consequent sweating associated there with caused my watch strap to absorb all manner of Fat Runner leavings. This problem is made worse by the fact that after I sweat all through the strap, then place the strap in a warm, dark place. The side pocket of my gym bag is evidently Club Med for bacteria to grow, eat, and die (the end result being stank, yo).
Runners talk about black toenails, bloody nipples, PF, ITB Syndrome, sore muscles, etc. I bet none of you ever considered that your watch would be a grim reminder that you not only have one (or many) of the common afflictions singular to runners, but that you sweated so much in getting them that your watch is now little more than a petri dish that beeps on the hour.
I ran what might have been the single most enjoyable run in recent memory this morning. I felt fast and loose, almost set a PR for that distance, and finished with energy to spare. Workouts like the one this morning remind me of why I love this goofy sport in the first place.
That's why a forced rest day tomorrow is so painful. Not only do I not want to take a rest in order to keep going with my weightloss, I want to see if my streak of good runs will continue. But, alas, I am running a 10K on Saturday morning and I want to get a new PR, so I feel that I must take the day off.
Race report to follow. Keep running fat.
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