February 2007 Archives

I know ... makes us stronger. Or is it you breakdown to build yourself back up.

Things were looking better last night after speedwork. Before the session my butt and thighs were sore from 895 squats and lunges I did on Monday. I thought speedwork would be a nightmare. It turned out to be okay. Not that fast, but we were outside not on the track so the weather and footing played a part. After it was over I felt much better.

Then I woke up this morning ... better was gone.

Today I feel broken. Everything hurts. I am exhausted. My hair has poofed to twice it's size. One of my contacts feels like it has rolled into the back of my head. I definitely don't look like Sheryl Crow. I feel like a train wreck.

I want to go home, eat comfort food, lie on the sofa and watch mindless hours of reality tv. Instead, I have to gather up some energy, ignore the pain and head to the gym to spend a fun filled hour with the evil trainer.

When you wake up after a PT session and can barely get out of bed, then you realise you have speedwork tonight.

from despair.com

Seriously I can't believe how hard the workouts are when someone is pushing you. I've been paying a gym membership for years just to sit on some funny looking machines and gossip with M!

The session started with her looking at my food diary for the past week. When you have to write everything down, it makes you think before you eat. Except after your 15 mile run, when nothing on earth even the disapproving gaze of your trainer will stopping you ordering that cheeseburger and coke. So the food thing wasn't too bad. I need to incorporate more fruit and vegetables (fruit flavoured jubes apparantely don't count) and protein, and lose some of the carbs. She also suggested increasing dairy, but that is a no, since I'm metally lactose intolerant.

Then on with the workout. It killed. Especially the leg stuff, squats and lunges. I explained ... numerous times ... about how my legs had run 15 miles yesterday. Nothing ... nada. Then I went into great detail about the route, that normally scares people when they visualize just how far you've run. Nope, nothing! While doing sit ups with the medicine ball, she commented on how she tries to run 5k on the treadmill and how diffucult it is ... I almost flung the medicine ball at her head, except I didn't have the strenght.

Finally it was over ... or so I thought. Now we do 5 minutes of abs!

WHAT!

I've already done 260 sit ups, now I have to do 5 more minutes. I really hate sit up and crunches.

I came home looked in the mirror, 2 sessions, I should look like Sheryl Crow ... hmm ... maybe after next session ... Wednesday night session number 3

I'm having salmon, asparagus and baby pots for dinner, cause it looks good on my food chart I have to show her ... but really ... really what I want is doritos

Met the group yesterday morning for an easy 6k run, followed by coffee. Then off to the gym to do my new workout route without trainer. For moral support I brought along BFF Mary to do the worhout with me. I did everything except the lunges, I couldn't fathom running 16 miles today after 3 sets of lunges. I'm still sore but nothing close to the agony of the early in the week.

Last night met up with R for dinner and a movie. After a delicous bowl of pasta with blush sauce, chicken and broccoli we saw Music and Lyrics. There will be no Oscar nods but the first half was cute, then it went into cheeseville and never left. Hugh dancing alone made the cheese worth while.

I got home, had an arguement on the phone with a friend, then went to bed. I couldn't sleep because of the arguement, I tried to figure out the fight why we had it what it was really about. That took me to 1am, then my stomach took over. Rejecting the delicous bowl of pasta with blush sauce, chicken and broccoli, not once or twice but three times. Finally around 3am I fell asleep.

I couldn't stomach anything to eat this morning, the thought of see it again .. yeah ... no thanks.

The first few miles of our long run were good, a really strong wind at our backs and mild temperatures. Once I got to mile 5, I really felt the effects of lasts night food rejection and no breakfast. I had a gel. It didn't do anything. I kept going but finally around mile 7 I decided to turn back. The run back was tough. Alone. Incredible head wind. No fuel. Cold. At the end I did 15 miles and was straving.

Went out for the most mouthwateringlydelicous burger and large full fat coke ever.

I am completely and utterly exhausted. I've already had a nap, so I may just spend the rest of the day on the sofa, watch the ice storm outside coat my windows.

I am so sore, I think even my internal organs are bruised.

I kept waking up in the middle of the night, everytime I would roll over my abs, butt and waist would scream from the movement.

You are supposed to be even worse on the second day, I may not survive.

I made a decision the other day. If I am going to train and run a spring marathon then I want to give it 100%.

I put in the miles, but I think there is more to it than just getting the miles in. There are other elements to a successful marathon. These other elements are what I am missing. Nutrition, really need to work on that. Core strength, I know where the gym is, I see everytime I go to the grocery store. I have a ball and mat at home, that I now use to hold laundry and as an accesorising rug.

I run at least 4 days a week, I use this as an excuse not to go to the gym. So I decided to get a personal trainer for 6 weeks. Her name is Meredith, although I think I'll be calling her other names as the weeks go on. I'll be working out with her twice a week and once on my own (that's the one to watch). She will also help me with my nutrition.

This morning was our first workout and I wasn't in the best place due to the workout we did last night at the track.

400m
10 proper push ups
up and down every flight of stairs in the stadium (176 to be exact)
10 proper situps
50m sprint with hands on head
25m of lunges

that's one circuit ... we got to do it 4 times

So to say my legs and abs were a little sore this morning is an understatement! Any how, I made it through more lunges, squats, calf raises, 12 more sets of f@*#ing abs, biceps, triceps and shoulders.

It was really awesome, but I can barely walk my legs are literally shaking.

A couple years ago I bought only peanut butter made from 100% peanuts. No added crap. Nothing just peanuts. I remember I liked it. Then somehow, the not quite 100% made it's way into my cupboard.

So last week, PB was on my list. I decided to buy the 100% kind. I had it on toast this morning.

Seriously!

Who was I kidding! It's awful. It tastes like paste, peanut paste, but paste none the less.

All the added crap, you know what that is, it's favour.

I can barely live with myself I am so amazing. I ran the Really Chilly 10k this morning and placed 2nd in my age category.

So what've learned is ... you don't really need to train, you just need to show up on a freezing cold Sunday morning. A morning where mother nature dumps 3 inches of snow on the ground one hour before race time. No one else shows up.

The medal is more deserving for coming out, surviving the drive, not quitting after the first hidious loop and finishing with a smile. This was the worst 10k I have ever done ... ever. It started snowing on the drive there. It kept snow. All through the warm up, which didn't warm me up. It only made me question what the hell I was thinking. The route is two loop around the local college on the road. It probably would of been okay by race time except the race lane of the road was coned off, so it didn't get plowed, or packed down by traffic.

The footing was terrible, like running in brown sugar. Halfway through the first loop my calves were screaming. At the 5k mark I turned to P and told her I was leaving. She talked me into to stay. I cursed her name for the next 5k of slippery crap. In the end I'm glad she made me stick with it.

What was going to be a horrible Sunday morning experience turned into a medal memory! Yes, I am ... for today the 2nd fastest 35-40 female in London and surrounding area. There will be no living with me now.

It is really difficult to type and view my screen, due to the obscene amount of flowers on my desk. I wish I had time to thank all my suitors, but alas, I am now an elite athletic and must focus on getting a big sponsorship deal.

My new elite status happened around 8.45pm last night during speedwork. I averaged a record breaking 4.50 per/km in my 400s. Yes there was smoke coming off the track!

I have stopped all work, no one even seems to have noticed, to prepare for the onslaught of offers from major sportswear companies. Not to be bias, but I love Brooks shoes, Addidas and Nike can fight over my clothing and I could really see myself doing a shampoo commercial.

When I first started this blog it was a way for me to track my runs. Learn what worked, like stretching and what didn't, like chinese food. Organize and motivate myself. Eventually you start talking about what things pop into your head while out there for hours on end. Things that make you want to go run just to get away. Things you work through and sort out.

It's therapeutic. It gives those crazy thoughts in your head a voice. You can be completely honest. This is quite a revolutionary concept for a girl, who by profession is a communicator, but frankly sucks at in on a personal level. I'm not sure if it's a comfort-thing, a fear, or just the way I'm made. I tend not to be open. There is a small elite group of poeple scattered around the world who know all of me.

A few years ago, around the time I left England and returned to Canada, I made a conscience effort to be more open. It's difficult. I've found the easiest way to do it is to be completely honest when someone asks me something. However, this then involves the other person asking the right questions.

So this blog became a way of being more open. Yes, anyone with access to the internet can read it, but you feel a certain amount of anonymity. Until, slowly, people you actually know begin to read it. Then one day, a day just like today, you are running along with T a member of the sisterhood, and he asks ... "So who was the guy at the pub run?" ... ahhh ... a few minutes later guy from pub run goes by ... I nudge T ... the one in the middle. "So who was the apology for?" uhmmmm ...

I don't mind the questions, I like the questions. But my world is feeling a little smaller. There is stuff I want to talk about but I can't really. Stuff I'm not even ready to share with the elites scattered around the world.

So far now, tonight, it's about running.

Today I ran, it was bloody cold. I started too fast, the middle was a diaster, but the end, the end was good.

I did a spin class last night, the second week in a row. Last week the class was different, a lot of standing, very little sitting on the seat. Yesterday, there was a lot of sitting or up-down-up-down ... I felt like I was training for something else.

Today, however, I have a bit of an issue with sitting. A certain part of my anatomy is bruised beyond belief. How do people sit on a f-ing bike for 6 hours!

The other day I said something to a very good friend I shouldn't of. It was flippant. It was unthoughtout ... like most things that fly out of my mouth.

I said "I don't get anything out of this friendship" ... we weren't having any argument, I wasn't mad, at least not that I was aware of at the time.

When I said I didn't mean it, they pointed out I did in someway. Which I think is probably true. In some strange way I thought I was being funny. Although same friend has previously pointed out I use humour to mask other things. I love insightful people.

Anyway it's been eating away at me, I haven't figured out exactly what the someway is. I don't think it's one thing it's probably 4 super tiny things that by themselves mean nothing, but together should be given a tropical storm name like Edgar.

It also made me think about relationships in general, I have a habit of pushing people away when they get close, like a safety mechanism. It works really well. Then someone else ... way smarter than moi, pointed out that maybe it's something about me I'm not happy with and I directed it at them. That's possible, but makes me sound too unstable for my liking, so let's just ignore that piece of ridiculous knowledge.

This is a very big, I'm sorry. For saying something stupid that I truly, honestly didn't mean.

You are a really good friend, sometimes I need to remind myself of that!

Matthew finds another sport that requires minimal clothing .... sigh

Apparantely when you hit your mid thirties you brain turns to mush. You forget things, not even misplace them. Completely forget they happened. I am rather concerned about become 60, I'll need name tag around my neck with a number of who to call, so strangers can help when I'm roaming around downtown in my nightie.

Over the last couple of weeks I have found myself feeling down. This is rare for me. I am a pull yourself together, it could be worse, whatever kinda girl. However, I've listened to a lot of friends who are really unhappy about being single. One night it hit me. I'm single. Why am I so happy? They're not happy, what have I got to be happy about. Nothing I'm going to die alone with my cat. It took hold of me.

On Wednesday night I went to the movies with my not so unhappy married friend, she'll perk me up. We saw Catch and Release. Perfect movie, it made me smile and laugh. Afterwards, while my friend sipped her drink I released all my worries on her. She is a don't just sit there kinda gal. So we came back to mine and made an online profile on a dating site ... yes seriously.

I think I got caught up in her you only live once - what have you got to lose attitude. I was excited, by tomorrow my Matthew McConnaughey-like boyfriend would contact me, and like some super girly chic flick, whisk me away .... ahhhhh.

Except ...

I forgot, completely left my mind. Infact I didn't rememeber until Sunday when she asked how it was all going ... oh crap ... uhmm ... I should check.

So I did.

First of all, Matthew McConnaughey-like boyfriend doesn't belong to this site. The type of men I attract have what appear to be mullets, or catch lines like "I won't bite, unless you want me to", or the winner of the day, a guy in his lazyboy with a sweatshirt on complete with a flying embossed eagle, behind him, stacks and stacks of video games and crap ... I don't think he has left this area since 1987 when he bought the sweatshirt.

I completely wimped out of our 16 mile long run this morning. Not because it was 16 miles, or because I have to get up at 6.30am on a Sunday morning - although these are very good reasons. I wimped out because it was -28 degrees out.

Seriously, no way!

Everyone has to have a limit and mine is -25. Things freeze and drop off in these temperatures, and not things you don't care about ... things you need.

I opted to do some miles on the dreadmill instead. Indoors, in shorts, with a fan blowing on me and my ipod entertaining me. I rarely run on the dreadmill, infact I can't remember when the last time I did, probably last year and it would of been intervals. Not surprising when I got to 3 miles I wanted to jump off the stupid thing ... how do people do it. I got 6 miles in very pleased with me.

After a shower and a large coffee to go I headed to my parents for breakfast.

So some mileage and brownie points for being a good daughter, not a bad start to a Sunday.