I'm going through a lot right now. The details will have to wait for the test results that are still pending. It's not going to be good though; we know that much. My emotions go from despair to anger to just plain numbness. Yesterday, I ran down the street and everything was surreal. I saw the houses passing but I couldn’t feel a thing. By the way, it’s hard to see when you are crying.

I reach to the blogosphere at night and early morning for a grasp of something more normal than what is happening here and now. But I can't quite process what I am reading - so please post pictures when you have them. I have just been clicking into my bloglines subscriptions and perusing the photos. There were some great ones today of places that people have probably run to. They are photos that take me to a more peaceful place. If for a few minutes, I go somewhere that is easier and less devastating than here.

And yet, I am needed here for hugs and the little comfort that I can offer. Those tender moments are precious folks. Hold the hand of those that you love - hold on tight and don't let go. That's what I'm doing.

Posted by Juls at 8:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

The dog just puked bile on the floor and I stumble over to let him out before too much damage has been done to the house. I look around at the clutter - the half-folded laundry, unopened mail, and basic signs of too much to do with too little time. Life is too short to worry about a perfect house. That's been my theory - but I could use a little more order.

It's more sleep deprivation for me. I'm sitting on 2 hours of sleep - if even that much. I've always said that I was born with bags under my eyes - it's a genetic gift from my Guamanian ancestry. I'm afraid to look into the mirror to see just how much more excess baggage has manifested.

Memories of rough times in the past years floods my mind. It seems that as I get older, there is more and more stuff to deal with. It kind of sucks - getting old. I will be strong.

Now, I need to make myself a bit more presentable so that I can fake being "okay" and be the pillar of strength that I must portray.

Posted by Juls at 8:24 AM | Permalink

I'd had plans to run in the Open Space Preserve, but these plans were abruptly abandoned with a simple phone call. My brother, Robert, was in town doing some handy-man work and needed a place to stay. I couldn't just leave him to fend for his breakfast.

His overnight stay had a single complication - his cell phone and a single missed call left his phone calling to him every few minutes. The "beep" was followed by either a growl or a bark from our dog. I couldn't find the phone without waking Robert, and the only way to quiet the dog was to take him downstairs. I slept (almost) on the couch and verbally comforted the dog after each "beep."

By the time morning hit, I still felt the need for some sleep. I woke Robert, prepared us oatmeal and coffee for breakfast. After my brother was en route to his next job, I got in the car and drove to the paved bike trail instead. On the way, the sky opened up and the rain began pouring down. *sigh* Wonderful.

But aside from not wearing a jacket, or having gloves, my run was fine. The beeps that I heard along the run were music to my ears as it was nothing more than Garminia signaling another mile passed. For most of the run, the rain was light. When my hands began to chill, I pulled some poop-bags, from the dispenser on the trail, and used them to keep my hands warm. I was proud of my resourcefulness. It confirmed that my mind was still working despite the sleep-challenged night.

Another modification that I have recently made was to abandon the use of my old orthotics. I began using SOLE heat-moldable Custom Footbeds three runs ago. I am hoping that they will be the solution to my feet problems as I have lost confidence in my podiatrist. Being able to complete today's 12 mile run without any issues was a good sign. *knock on wood* So far, my feet are holding up and I have no new blisters.

Posted by Juls at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

I don't usually think of myself as one to complain, but maybe I am.

We arrived to baseball practice a little late today. It was 5:10 pm, and YaYa's coach likes the parents to check in with him before we leave. I waited to get his attention to confirm his plans for practice. The length of practice still varies but, even still, I figured that I could at least get 5 miles logged. I was dressed and ready to go. I just had to find out the ending time for today's practice.

"Practice will end in 30-40 minutes," he stated. "What?!" He always says that practice will end at 5:50 pm and then keeps the kids on the field until 6:10 pm. I knew today would be no different, but I would be on time regardless. I grumbled my complaints and I shot off for a "quick" run.

It felt good to let loose. I ran up the street past all of the people coming home from the workweek. Friday evening was here at last. I ran up to the main intersection, turned right for a few blocks and then ran back towards the field on a parallel street. Twenty-two minutes had passed, plus an unknown amount of time at two stoplights, by the time I was a street away from the school where the field was located. I continued down the street for several blocks, cut into the neighborhood and past the school. Practice was still going full force.

I continued down the street, and was rapidly coming up to a small group of teenager boys. They had the tough-guy "thug" look but I wasn't worried for some reason. I had picked up the pace even more. I was going to re-do that final loop but I didn't want to leave YaYa and the coaches waiting for me. My focus was on running at least 4 miles. It wasn't the 5-6 miles that coach had asked me to run, and it wasn't at the pace he had instructed either, but it was what I was able to do. As I got close behind the group of teens, they jumped and looked back at me. "Whoa!" I heard one boy say to the other. "I thought we were getting jumped," the other said. I smiled and kept on going.

When I looped back on the field, I saw some of the team Mom's retreating to their cars for warmth. I ran into the school campus and ran the remaining 0.3 miles around the perimeter of the field. If there wasn't another team practicing on the other end of the field, I could have been happy to keep on running in circles in order to get that final mile. It just felt wrong to run through the area where this team's parents were huddling trying to keep warm.

When Garminia signaled that I had completed 4 miles I stopped the timer and walked for a bit. They boys were a little off today. They were dropping balls and making awkward throws. I think they were cold. I was getting cold now too. So I went to the car, wrapped my fleece blanket around me, and sat on the bench and played a game with myPod.

At 6:10 pm, YaYa's practice finally ended. It was about 20 minutes after I stopped running. *sigh* I knew it. But, who's complaining? Certainly not me - I don't complain.

Posted by Juls at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The following story was sent to me today via email. I am not usually a sucker for these types of emails. Normally, they get deleted prior to my even opening them to evaluate the value. Occasionally, however, I do open the email and today the message was one that I felt I would like to share.

As you may already know, the statistics for Breast Cancer are staggering, being the #1 cancer diagnosis in women, and the 2nd leading cause of cancer death (lung cancer is first). It is estimated that 215,900 new cases of breast cancer are discovered nationwide every year, and that every 12 minutes one women dies in the US from breast cancer!

So, to my female readers, do your breast exams and see your doctor for routine exams and pancake therapy (mammograms). To ALL of you, here is the story that was emailed to me today (a little editing was done to the “Fund a Cure” plea in order to neutralize the charge – the message remains). The next time you are in need of stamps remember the story, or someone that you know that has been affected by breast cancer, and consider purchasing a booklet of the Breast Cancer Stamp instead (details following the story).

The Story:
Like most elementary schools, it was typical to have a parade of students in and out of the health clinic throughout the day. We dispensed ice for bumps and bruises, Band-Aids for cuts, and liberal doses of sympathy and hugs. As principal, my office was right next door to the clinic, so I often dropped in to lend a hand and help out with the hugs. I knew that for some kids, mine might be the only one they got all day.

As I hugged her tight, in the back of my mind I faintly heard my music box playing . . . "I will always love you."

Fund the Cure:
As you may be aware, the US Postal Service recently released its new "Fund the Cure" stamp to help fund breast cancer research. Ethel Kessler of Bethesda, Maryland designed the stamp. It is important that we take a stand against this disease that affects so many of our Mothers, Sisters and Friends. The notion that we could raise $35 million by buying a book of stamps is powerful!

Instead of the normal 37 cents for a stamp, this one costs 40 cents. The additional 3 cents will go to breast cancer research. A "normal" book costs $7.40. This one is $8.00. The next time you find yourself in line at the Post Office, consider purchasing the Breast Cancer Stamp Booklet instead of the regular stamp booklet. It takes so little ($0.60) and will mean so much. An additional $35,000,000 for this vital research will be raised when all stamps are sold.

Image source: http://www.womensonlyrun.com/

Posted by Juls at 1:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I DID IT.

I got my parrot to predict a sub-FOUR hour marathon again. Although I know that parrots can sometimes just tell us what we tell them to say, I am happy to see the time that my parrot is showing me.

3:52:55 !
That would only be two minutes that I would need to shave off to hit my BQ.

AND it's only February. My race is 8 months away.

Image Source-http://parrotmountainandgardens.com/_pics/pmbird1b.htm

Posted by Juls at 9:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I was finally able to run again today. My blister site was dried out, but now the skin was stiff. I feared that it would crack if I moved it too much. But my foot and running were the last thing on my mind. I applied a piece of the Neosporin scar removal that was left over from my fall in December 2005. Honestly, I don't care about scarring on my foot. Who's going to see it? But I did remember that the stuff made my skin nice and soft.

It worked, by noon I was able to hit the sidewalk again. I let my mind wander as I ran. I brought myPod along today so that I could forget that I was "training" and use my running to help me process the stress. It was stress that led me to calling in sick today.

During my run, I let my thoughts go back to last night.

We sat in the ER waiting for an endless period of time. The room was filled with an overwhelming amount of people. In the corner, six young girls chattered and laughed at a deafening level - their loved one had gotten help while the rest of us sat and waited.

It was after midnight when I finally was able to tuck little YaYa into bed. "Did they fix Dad's neck yet?" I answered, "No, they didn't. They just gave him some medications for the pain." To my response, YaYa probed, "When *are* they going to fix it?"

*sigh*
I wish that I knew.

It wasn't until I stopped running, that my mind came back to the present. I walked down the street and then stretched in front of the house. I hoped that Tom was inside sleeping...

*deep breath*
...and then I walked into the house to check.

image source: http://www.qhc.on.ca/newsletter12/ims/emergency.jpg

Posted by Juls at 6:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I think that I need one more day off. Today is a day of distractibility. From my office I hear the conversations of the surrounding offices. I try to block it out, but it is of no use. I can't seem to do it.

My boss has been on the phone most of the day. Like in a Winnie the Pooh story, she has an affinity to commas, rather than periods, creating a frenzied feeling when trying to follow her train of thought. There are times when I must follow the conversation; she knows her stuff and has a lot to teach me. But today's conversations are not for me; they are for another lucky recipient.

My boss seems to be having a productive day, while my work is negatively offsetting any progress that she makes. She talks loud, and is lively in her enthusiasm. It sets me further off task.

I had a hint that the issue was with me and not those around me later in the day. The major players in my department gathered earlier to study for a certification exam that we will be taking in mid-March. I had difficulty keeping up with the group.

It wasn't that I didn't know the answers; I've actually been reading the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR) in my spare time. It was just that one person would be reading the question out loud, someone else would already be blurting out their answer choice (and often the next as well), while yet another set of people would still be discussing the prior item. I wanted to scream ONE at a time - one question, one person speaking, just ONE. I guess I am just tired – very tired.

DD and I saw the 8:40 pm showing of David Lynch's three-hour movie. I sat through the movie with my fight or flight mechanism running full force (even during the not so scary parts) and hoped that whatever part I was watching would just be over and done with. During the scary parts, when I would have wanted to hold my hubby's hand, I resisted clutching on the DD's arm - even though I knew he would understand. As Lynch's films often do, this film left my mind feeling inept, my emotions on overload, and my body exhausted. And I never emerged from that feeling.

During the wee hours of the day, the blister on my foot would growl whenever I would move my left foot. When I finally prepared for the workday, I peeled back the bandage to find the angry tissue staring back at me. Oh bother. I partially unroofed the blister and infused the antibiotic ointment to the flame red tissue. Then I grabbed my slippers and was out the door.

Here I am, either distracted by the voices all around me or the voice in my head that says, "You should NOT have run yesterday." Just like when I was watching Lynch's film, I am just sitting here waiting for the end, so I can get up and limp home.

Posted by Juls at 12:49 PM | Permalink

I am lucky enough to have another day off today. Hurray for President's Day. Although BoBo has baseball practice, the boys are out of school all day as well.

If this wasn't enough to make for a nice and easy week, it is also a step-back week. So Coach was nice enough to let me run on a day that I would normally be resting. The rest of my running week consists of a run every other day. It should help me manage my work at the office.

Surprising as it is, my legs aren't the least bit sore today. The blister on my left foot was a concern though. I drained the clear fluid from it and applied some blister blocker to the spot.

The next task was to MacGyver my shoe set up - AGAIN. I pealed what remained of my metatarsal pads from my orthotics, traced them, and then cut two-layers of moleskin foam to make a replacement. I attached them to the most neutral insole that I own.

After this I was off with YaYa riding his bike along side of me. We made our way to the local high school track. I ran 6 laps and YaYa ran every other lap along side of me. He took this picture of me during his rest period (finger cropped out).

I made it through most of the run before I could feel the blister filling back up with fluid. We managed to get home before the discomfort got to be too much.

Posted by Juls at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I am a bit of a complainer where my feet are involved. Things that wouldn't phase me in my past (pre-injury) life, now annoy me to no end. Whether it is a rub, pressure, or even the smallest of twinges, I am driven to find a solution.

Because of my new hypersensitivity, it is no surprise that I was driven to stop several times during today's run to attempt to rectify the feet issues of the day.

It began even before I began running. Just out of the car, I could feel my left foot sliding into the lateral (outside) edge of my shoe. I pulled out the stock insole and the orthotic that sits below that. I attempted to adjust it so that my foot was more level in the shoe. As soon as I re-laced my shoe I could feel the same feeling. I did it again and then wiggled my foot inside the toe box to try to achieve the desired position. Then I began running.

The final adjustment seemed to settle down the annoyance for the most part. The pressure to the side of my foot, behind my baby toe, would come on occasionally. I found if I ran on the flat, or parts of the trail that slant down to the right, I could make the feeling go away. But after a while, even that wasn't working.

I was climbing the steepest part of the trail when the pressure was really getting to my head. What should I do? Should I turn back and end the run way early? Should I pull out the insole to see if the extra room in the shoe would help (as it did on my last run)? I used some self-talk to keep myself going. I promised my body that I would fix the problem at the top of the, 2 mile, hill that I was climbing.

When I reached the top of the hill (that part of the hill) I stretched and then began trying out the adjustments. First, I tried removing the insole. This gave me more room but did not fix the feeling of running outer edge of my foot. I was very aware of the hard edge of my orthotic. It was clear that this would not be a good enough solution.

Next, I removed my orthotic and put the stock insoles back into the shoe. It fixed the leaning issue, but my metatarsal cushions are attached to my orthotics and I would be running without them. I decided that I would give it a try for this run and then use the moleskin foam to create new metatarsal cushions for future runs.

I made the same modifications to my right shoe, ate a GU, and started up again. I immediately was aware of every little rock under my feet but the change felt good otherwise.

I was greeted and given passing room whenever I met up with other runners or hikers on the trail. Everyone was friendly and accommodating. The special attention helped me travel along the single track well past the spot where I turned around the last time I ran on this trail.

My legs could feel the difference in miles. Again, I began talking to myself to keep myself going. "You're doing good. Just keep going and you'll be at the top in no time." When I was sure that I was nearly to the power pole that marked my turn-around, I breathed a sign of relieve. I took another stretch and GU break and then headed back on the same trail.

I passed the same friendly hikers who stepped aside to let me pass again. "Relax. Nice and slow," I told myself. Aware that this was a time when the metatarsal cushion would be optimal, I wanted to minimize the pounding. It worked out fine until I hit the same steep portion of the trail that had aggravated my foot on the upward climb. I returned my orthotics to my shoe and finished up the run.

Posted by Juls at 4:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It was all I could do today NOT to go out for my 16 mile run. It's another rest day on the first of a three-day weekend. I entertained the thought of moving my long run up a day and then begging Coach for a workout on Monday.

But I'd hate to compromise the healing on my foot. It's funning that I was complaining about being so tired earlier in the week and now I am like a racehorse - champing at the bit to get out of the stable and run hard.

Today is sunny and warm; It is hard to sit still. The weather is too good to be true. The trees are blossoming and the birds are singing. It's hard to just sit at home and do nothing.

Okay, not exactly "nothing".

Baseball
From 10-11:45 am, we were at YaYa's baseball practice. I contributed a little, but my baseball skills are pretty bad.

Shopping
After practice, we stocked up on cytomax, GU, and moleskin at the nearby REI. Then we went to the grocery store for items for dinner. I wasn't motivated enough to gather food for the entire week, not even the weekend for that matter. DD is coming into town and it is hard to anticipate what we will need. Being an actor, he is eating different than how he ate before he left the nest. He's more fit minded and that's good for all of us. I can't keep track of his eating preferences anymore.

Household Chores
After we returned home, I cooked up some lunch for YaYa and I. Then I did a little house cleaning. I hadn't done much before my efforts were side-stepping in another direction. Perhaps it was the dog hair on the floors that led me outside. I soon found myself in the backyard giving Lucky (the dog) a good brushing.

One thing led to another
Just like in the book "If you give a Moose a Muffin", one thing led to another. When I had Lucky jump up onto the bench I noticed some brown leaves on the bush behind the bench. The bush is supposed to be rectangle but had lost it's shape. Before I knew it, I had the pruning shears in hand and was restoring the bush to it's preferred shape. But that wasn't enough, I looked up and noticed the annoying branch from the neighbor's tree (the one that brings all of the honey bees - which I am allergic to). I cut back all of the branch that I could safely reach. And then I looked around some more. The lemon tree got a little attention too.

By the time I returned to the house, YaYa and his two little friends ran in screaming with enthusiasm. I emptied the dishwasher and decided that I had done enough for the day.

Posted by Juls at 3:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I ventured upstairs straight from my run. I was all sweaty, and flush-faced when I arrived to the crowd of co-workers still milling about the tables of food. Immediatelly, I was greeted by the regular lunchtime exercisers who expressed their envy. What could be better than going out for a run in 70 degree weather and then come back to tons of good food?

The reason for the potluck was so the various groups, that were brought together post re-org, could get to know eachother better. As usual, the groups gravitated towards their own. *sign*

My coming upstairs in my running skort proved beneficial as an ice breaker.

Did you RUN?

In *that*?

Outside?

And so it goes...

I can have my brownie and eat it too. Why not? When you can have the best of both worlds, I say go for it. Have a happy weekend and enjoy your running.

Posted by Juls at 2:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The fog was as thick as pea soup this morning. As I drove to work I could barely see the road ahead of me. I managed to remember today's potluck on time for a quick trip to the store.

I never had any plans for contributing a home-cooked item. I barely make the time to provide home-cooked meals to my family, and we all know that cooking is not one of my stronger skills. Since I am certain that there will be ample amounts of filling and equally fattening food for all to pile on their plates, I chose a fruit and cheese platter.

In addition to bringing a store bought item, I am also planning to ditch the event all together. I realize that I am being a true to form party pooper but I don't care...

I have a RUN scheduled, so I am party poopin' today.

Posted by Juls at 8:43 AM | Permalink

Little YaYa handed out valentines to the family this morning. He was so proud to have something for us. I even got a cozy hug from him. He's such a sweetie. As I drove the kids to school this morning I was happy to see that the rain clouds had all disappeared. I was looking like it would be an absolutely lovely day.

And it was.
Valentine's Day or not, at the office, it was business as usual. I was keeping busy with little tasks that all seemed to be adding up. It was already well into the normal lunchtime hour by the time I was able to wrap things up at my desk. My body was already asking for fuel, but I didn't want to eat before my run. I hurried down to the cafeteria to pick up some soup and a protein drink for after my run. On the way, I downed some stale trail mix and a package of Shot Blocks.

Outside of these corporate walls, the day was turning into an unbelievably beautiful day. Even those who do not usually venture outdoors could not resist. I could see Mark heading out on his run as I was walking past the window with my lunch. I wasn't sad to see him leaving without me. I was actually glad to be going it alone today.

Besides upping my long run mileage, Coach has also increased the time for fast interval in this week's pickup workout. You wouldn't think that 10 seconds would make any difference, but I found myself anticipating the beep-beep-beep way before Garminia sounded with her signal. It wasn't that I was tired; it just took me a while to get in synch with the new timing.

Just when I thought all was going well, I was hit with a pickup interval gone awry. It went like this: I pushed the button and picked up the pace. In front of me was an older man walking but I figured that I would be finished before I got to him. As I got closer and closer to him I realized that I was wrong. I stayed to the far left edge of the narrow path and kept charging ahead. I was waiting for the signal, but it didn't come.

I finally looked at the lap time and discovered that 56 seconds had passed. Oh, I was so confused. I hit the lap button and the message said to pick it up. Eek! I hesitated, trying to decide if I wanted to go for it or not. I ended up picking the pace back up, knowing that it was my final pickup.

I ran at my easy pace back to the office where soup, my protein drink, and more chocolates (should I want it) were all awaiting me. Speaking of chocolate, it looks like I owe somebody a box of chocolates - because I did have a good run today. I had a lovely run today.

Posted by Juls at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Somebody had to nerve to bring heart shaped candies made of luscious, dark chocolate. They were so cute. I grabbed three of them thinking that I would bring them home to my boys for a Valentine's Day surprise. But, I couldn't help myself...I ate all three! My Bad.

I don't know what has gotten into me. Except for the fact that my legs are sore after today's short 5 mile run, everything is fine. Well, almost fine.

I have to admit that I have been watching my parrot predictor (see my sidebar), happily celebrating the sub-4 hour marathon predictions. They have actually been in the ballpark of my BQ, in fact! Even though I know that the calculation doesn't really compute, it has been nice to watch the trend.

This past week, I was good. I hit my paces and logged the miles. My reward is a 4:01:29 parrot marathon prediction and muscle soreness! What's more is that my legs weren't as sore after my long run as they are today. I don't get it.

Today's run was nothing exceptional in terms of mileage or speed. I ran 5 miles with Mark. We did one of our usual routes at the usual pace. I wasn't bored. The only thing out of the ordinary was that my shoes were weighed down with huge amounts of mud. Initially my legs felt "tight" and nothing more. But as the run progressed my legs began to feel a heaviness that got worse as the run continued. I began feeling tired too.

So I got to think about what else could be going on.

Well, on Sunday, I was under-fueled. My bad - I didn't stock up on GU. I should have remembered that I was out. I only had one for the half-marathon and felt like I could have used another one. So my long run (14 miles) was fueled on water, 6 ounces of Odwalla AntioxiDance (90 calories/8 oz), and a package of Clif Shot Blocks (200 calories/6 blocks). Today, I had the usual oatmeal for breakfast, and my morning non-fat latte. I even ate a banana about 20 minutes before the run.

What else?

Perhaps my weekly mileage could be the culprit. I haven't exactly been paying that much attention. Coach Jeff tells me what to run and I do it. It's been "about" the same these past few weeks. Or has it? Well, "about" the same is true, but it has crept up ever so slightly each week. I thought I was still barely making the 26.2 miles to get the parrot predictor give me a number, but actually last week was 28.59! Yipee! My GOOD.

Maybe *that* is it...Or maybe it is just another one of those days. I'll just see what tomorrow's run is like. In the meantime, I've started up my long forgotten vitamin regimen.

Posted by Juls at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Some of you may remember my profile picture in my early blogging days. Having had a certain connection to Elastigirl - a character from Pixar’s film “The Incredibles”, I hid in her shadow as I became comfortable with the big, intimidating blog-o-sphere.

In addition to being a mother that is capable to doing it all, this character is strong, sensible, and amazingly flexible. This was certainly an identity that I was at ease in depicting, and even aspiring to be.

My association to "Elasta" stemmed from a project that I headed up at work. Being assigned as a subject matter expert, a member of the internal "help desk", or otherwise a "Super" user, I decided that my team members and I needed to have some fun with it. I pulled identity for the team members from the children's movie "The Incredibles" and let the transformation take place. We were a great team - fighting evil and all of that stuff.

Then *it* happened. Our company went through the restructuring and the "Supers" were less than incredible. Just like the movie, the various superheroes went inactive or rather into hiding (at other companies). I tried to keep up with the emergencies, but a girl - even one as capable and flexible as Elastigirl - can only be stretched so far. I was out numbered and overwhelmed...that is, until today.

With the return of Violet, the Supers have come out of hiding. Okay, so maybe I am a little too excited about having some help - it's only her first day back at the company. I can't help it. It's like our team has re-united to fight evildoers and once more save the world.

...Or maybe just help the lost co-worker figure out how to use an evil (unfriendly) computer system.

Posted by Juls at 2:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

With the end of darkness, I rose from my bed to tackle a 14 mile run. Coach has been giving me a range of 12-14 miles during these past few weeks. I had yet to hit 14 miles, and was sure that the ante would be increased soon. Next week, or the week after, it was inevitable.

I ate my oatmeal and decided to forego my morning cup of coffee to be out on the road sooner than later. From my front door, I would run towards an entrance to the local bike trail. I figured that it was more time-efficient this way.

But running down the same streets that you drive day in and day out can be b-o-r-i-n-g. Besides being a ho-hum sort of run, I now had to stop for stop lights, be more alert for cars, cracks in the sidewalk, and all that sort of stuff.

The sidewalk is known to be a harder surface than the paved road, but the slant of the road and the oncoming traffic kept me on the harder, safer surface. It had rained most of the night, but was not raining for the majority of the time. There were fewer cars out as I ran down the street, stepping off one curb and hopping up another. It was nice in the early miles.

I had traveled nearly 4 miles by the time I hit the trail. I ran along and enjoyed the quiet. It was still early enough that there were very few people out on the path. I moved along, calculating how far I would need to run before turning back. I crossed a few bridges along the way. While they were pretty, I wasn't inclined to be motivated by their beauty today. Mile by mile, and bridge by bridge, my run was just function of putting one foot in front of the other. Sad in a way, my running was mechanical in nature - I was programmed to go across the bridges for the purpose of getting the run over and done with.

I realize that sometimes runs are like today's run was for me - mechanical and boring. And while I did my best to liven it up by talking to the people along the way, I really just wanted it to be done and over with. I wonder if by skipping my coffee, I set out on a not so stimulating path. The only excitement that this action led to was me frantically searching for a open bathroom along the way. It wasn't exactly the sort of excitement that I was looking for.

None the less, I was able to easily run 14 miles today. By the time I came home the family was up and watching TV. They were all still in their PJs and nobody had eaten breakfast. *sigh*

Several hours later the post-run muscle soreness was kicking in. I could feel the soreness in my shoulders as I fought with a vacuum cleaner that sucks - or rather no longer does. I trudged up the stairs as I carried the pile of folded laundry and wondered if it would be easier to carry less, making more trips OR to try to get it all in one trip.

Later on in the day, I celebrated my ability to score a free seat at YaYa's swim lessons. This enabled me to gently stretch my legs as I watched him glide through the water. As I sat in my secluded corner quietly rubbing my legs, I located a bruise from yesterday's encounter with a hard ball. Ball vs. leg and my leg lost. *sheepish grin* I let BoBo talk me into throwing with him but, like the vacuum cleaner, I *suck* at catching and throwing.

Tomorrow, I have a schedule day off from running. I can bask in the soreness knowing that I successfully completed another week of training. My rest day will help me recover AND will make my seemly boring run look a whole lot more exciting.

Posted by Juls at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Do you remember my encounter with the road-rage momma? It happened back in December, after I innocently and totally accidentally cut off another driver. The women followed me for three miles to verbally rip me a new one. Although I was sure that I *would* see her again - at some point - I figured it would be in passing. You know, like, at the grocery store or something like that.

Well, it happened. I saw her again...

On Monday, YaYa had his first baseball practice with his new little league team. His new team's name is the Tigers. YaYa was very excited. He was already dressed in his baseball attire when I picked him up at daycare. Thank goodness.

We were on time for practice, but barely. I followed a white van into the parking lot. The van pulled into a spot and I pulled into the neighboring parking spot. I glanced over to see if the driver was someone that I knew from one of the previous seasons. It was.

I recognized her right away. She was the mother of J, a nice little boy who played on YaYa's team last year. We sat together at many games, but I never really got to know her like some of the other Moms. Still her face was familiar to me. I smiled and waved as YaYa gathered his things.

There was something else familiar about her. I couldn't be sure, but there was something about looking at her through the passenger window that brought me right back to that miserable moment. Oh no, I thought.

As we shuttled our kids to the field, you could feel the tension in the air. For me, it was telling - she *was* the same women. It could be an interesting season.

Well, I saw her again today and will see her again every Monday, Friday and Saturday. Today, I initiated a little more small talk. It went okay. I began wondering if we could just pretend it didn't happen and move on.

*sigh*
Could that really happen?

Photo source: http://www.tulipgirl.com/

Posted by Juls at 6:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today was just a run of the mill sort of day. There was nothing special about the day (other than it being Friday). But regardless of the ordinary and average kind of the day, I have been looking forward to today. Generally, Friday means the weekend is on its way, relaxed dress, and running.

My mind and body was eager for the run aspect. I don't know which (mind or body) was most eager for the run, but the anticipation was strong by Thursday afternoon.

I had reported to Coach that my right ankle was feeling a little sore following my pick-ups on Wednesday. I wasn't worried as it felt like the confirmatory muscle soreness that follows a good workout. Following the pick-ups, my legs were a twinge sore. These days, however, I am acutely aware of my feet and ankles. The soreness resolved early in the day on Thursday meaning that I was good to go again.

Prior to going to bed, last night, I piled my running tights, headlamp, Garminia, etc onto the floor. My work clothes were loaded in my backpack. I was set for the possibilities of the morning.

As I saw it, I had three options:
1. Be up and running straight out of bed. I'd be challenged to be back on time to get the kids off to school on time, but I only had a 4 mile run to complete. It was an option.

2. More likely, was that I would drop off the kids, drive to work, and run around work prior to hitting my desk.

3. If I wasn't able to get to work early enough, I could run at lunchtime. My calendar was full again, so option 1 or 2 would be better. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings today.

It was no surprise that I wasn't rearing to go when my alarm sounded. By the time my feet hit the floor, I had a good idea that I'd be challenged to run before beginning my work day. But, as luck would have it, the kids and I were piling into the van ahead of schedule. I arrived at work early enough to run, but not outside. I'd have to run on the 'mill on this run of the mill day.

I set the incline to the usual 1% and fired it up. I started out somewhat slow, warming up at 6.5 mph. My body wasn't tired, but my mind was still groggy. I stayed at 6.5 for a 1/2 mile before inching up to 6.6 mph. I clicked off the mile intervals on Garminia, and inched up the speed on the 1/2 mile points.

Mile 1 = 9:08,
Mile 2 = 8:53,
Mile 3 = 8:45,
Mile 4 = 8:44
Final 1/2 mile = 4:34

After focusing all week on "feeling" the pace, I noticed that I really could not discern a difference in effort between the various paces while running on the treadmill. They all "felt" the same. That is until I backed down my pace for the final mile. I think that I felt the belt slow a bit.

Anyhow, I got it done and am now looking forward to my weekend long run. It is supposed to rain and I am actually looking forward to running in the rain. Hopefully, I will still feel that way when the time comes to do the deed.

Posted by Juls at 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The schedule has been busy these days. I am always on the go from the moment my feet hit the floor to well into the evening. If I am able to pick up my laptop for some "me" time it is a good thing. This is the point that I take a deep breath, release my tension from the day, and get lost in the virtual universe. It's a great thing.

Lately, there is a battle for keyboard time. Not only does YaYa also have a blog, but he has also discovered a game site that is popular with his classmates and his cousins on the other coast. He is motivated to get his homework completed so that he can earn some computer time. Tonight, YaYa finished the bulk of his homework at daycare, and finished the final problems in the van as we waited for BoBo to be excused from his baseball practice. He earned the time, but BoBo also had computer needs tonight.

BoBo, wanted to use the computer for an online Spanish review. I really didn't want to give up my laptop time; I'd earned it too. *sigh* Although we have a more than one computer, it was looking like there it would be awhile before my fingers would hit the keyboard.

By the time I finally was able to get my fingers on the laptop, my thoughts had escaped me. There was nothing left. I tried to catch up on my blog reading, but it was not use; the connection was lost. So, I got pretended to write, with hopes that something would come out. Finally, I let myself get lost in the television along with my boys who were watching the new episode of Friday Night Lights.

Fortunately for me, my mind and body was functioning fully when my feet hit the pavement (and a little bit of dirt) for my lunchtime run. I tried to "feel" the easy pace but ended up over doing "easy" it a little bit more than planned. I wanted to be certain to back off the pace enough in the intervals between my pickups. I told myself that I was going too fast. When I was back at my desk, I realized that the "feel" might have been off because I was really pushing hard on each of my pickups. Generally it is easier to run without constantly checking my pace (as I have been doing in the past few weeks). It is also good to peek once in a while just to verify that what feels like 9/mile (or whatever pace I am trying to achieve) is indeed within range.

Regardless of the easy pace, my run was still a success. I tried something new, and programmed Garminia to keep the time intervals for my pickups to exactly 20 seconds. All I had to do was run at my easy pace until was ready for my pickup. When I was ready, I just hit the lap button and ran hard until Garminia beeped at me 20 seconds later to let me know that it was time to slow down. I could then run easy again until I was ready to begin the next interval with just a push of a button. It worked out nicely. Unlike my previous pickup workouts, this time I didn't need to count or try to look at the watch until I the 20 seconds had passed. It was freeing and I was able to push harder.

Posted by Juls at 8:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Some of coach's final words were, "I'd even be comfortable with you only looking at the distance, running what 'feels' easy and then checking your time afterward to see what your pace was." That's just what I did.

I turned Garminia on and set her down to latch onto the satellites as I loaded my running shoes with my orthotics, m-arch cushions, and the stock insert. I was lacing up by the time Mark came outside to join me. We set out on a 4 mile course talking away. I was particularly happy to have company on my run. It seems like it has only been Garminia lately. Today, she stayed silent as Mark and I caught up.

We talked about running, our families, and work. Actually, I did most of the talking. I guess Jabbering Julie was really happy to have company on the run.

By the time we hit the bench marking our spot to turn around Mark had only gotten a few words in. I had heard the weatherman say that rain was on the way, but it sure hadn't hit yet. The day was gorgeous and warm. It was too warm for my long-sleeved shirt. I pulled it off and ran in my shorts and jog bra.

We ran past people walking, kids playing on the play structures of the local park, and ducks swimming in the pond. It was so nice out, that I didn't want to go back to work. We stretched and I pulled my shirt back on for the purpose of being presentable as I walked through the building. After being quiet the entire run, Garminia finally let out a little peep (she lost the signal to the satellites). She reported the average pace for today's "easy" run was right on target.

Posted by Juls at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The alarm didn't even need to go off; I was already awake. I was awake most of the wee hours of the morning thanks to Tom's tossing and turning in bed. You'd think that he was racing. Oh well, at least there was no chance of me missing the bus ride to the race.

I was a little worried about my history of motion sickness. I skipped my coffee, which made being awake all the more challenging but allowed me to get a nice seat at the front, which was a great thing. I didn't even need to take my dramamine.

The bus dropped us off near the start in plenty of time to hit the port-o-potties and squeeze into the crowd. There sure were a lot of people out for the Kaiser Permanete Half Marathon. It took a minute or so to hit the start and then we were off and weaving through the crowd.

Basically the first mile was a bit of a blur. I was running with Cindy and aware that I was running faster than Coach had wanted me to go. I kept bidding Cindy to go on, but separation was easier said than done. Finally, I watched her move ahead of me, when a few runners got in between us. I could see her looking around for me, but I needed to let her go.

Through the early miles, I was feeling good. I tried to keep it slow, but couldn't manage to slow down enough. I was taking it easy though, and my foot was doing fine with my trail shoes and the orthotic/metatarsal arch cushion set-up.

After the 10K mark, I had the go ahead to speed up a little. The new range felt more natural to me. I was still getting passed right and left even though I was now moving faster. As I made my way towards the Great Highway the race leader was already heading up to the finish line. I caught a picture of him as he went by.

The race continued for about 3 miles out past the zoo where the turn around point takes you back the other way. The road had many potholes and was gradually up hill. Since there is two-way traffic, it was difficult the maneuver past the slower runners. I was so happy to be turning back towards the finish line.

The turn around point was about the point where I was allowed to really move if I felt like it. I took advantage of the slight downhill and stayed relaxed. I didn't want to waste a lot of energy weaving in and out of the slower runners. These runners were in front of me up to this point but there sure were a lot of them that were losing steam. I was feeling good, BUT it didn't seem like I was running much faster. Every time I looked to Garminia for my lap pace it was roughly the same as before.

As I turned the corner leading back into Golden Gate Park, I really began pushing. I could feel the effort all through my body. It is sure to be one of the few moments where the smile left my face. *sigh* My photo from Brightroom isn't likely to be a pretty one.

I finished strong, picked up my race shirt, post race freebies, and began making my way to the bus. The smile returned to my face when I ran into an old friend that I met at the Napa Marathon. It wasn't long before I was feeling tired again. I was happy to be able to nap a bit on the bus ride home.

Posted by Juls at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

It was a beautiful day. But I stayed indoors to assess the new orthotic set up. I thought about bringing myPod along to distract me from the monontony of running on the treadmill. He hasn't had much activity lately - only playing the YaYa Hall interview for me on my drive to work earlier this week.

But today, distraction was the last thing that I needed. I would only have this one run to evaluate whether I should wear my orthotics with the new metatarsal pad setup was working. I at least needed to figure out if they were working enough use them in the Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon this Sunday.

I wasn't even through the first mile before I began feeling a familiar discomfort. It wasn't my either of my feet. Instead the lateral and posterior aspect of my left shin (or perhaps my calf) felt tenderness with every step. The last time that I wore these shoes was the last time that I experienced of this feeling. That was last Friday. I referred to it as calf pain but it is the same. I suspect that it is the result of the shoes being done as this is what I usually feel as I approach 250-300 miles. The only problem is that my shoe mileage is nowhere near that point.

The tenderness seemed to disappear at times, but perhaps that was my imagination. I actually felt it more when I was running at a slower pace. After I finished out my 4 mile run, I stretched and rolled my calves and shins on the foam roller.

The good part of this story is that my feel seemed to tolerate the hard orthotics fine. I feel good to go with them for the half marathon but my shoe situation is another story. The timing for new shoes really sucks.

Now, I am in a bit of dilemma. I have a new pair of these shoes in my van. They are the same shoes that I have been wearing only a 1/2 size larger. With the new plan, I don't need the extra room. Additionally, I wasn't all that impressed with them so I was thinking that I would take them back. The question is: What do I try out next?

Posted by Juls at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

"Change can be good" or so they say. "They" being the upper management of my company and the mother company. I've been done resisting for quite sometime. I am just hoping that the changes will settle into something that we can call the new improved way we do things.

On another note, I have changed my shoes three times today, and three times yesterday. It is time for a something to change besides my shoes. As I sat in the waiting room of the podiatry department at Kaiser, I hoped for a change to my feet challenges. I am tired of the ongoing experimentation where one problem is solved and other is born. That has how it has seemed since I came out of my boot therapy.

While the discomfort has varied and is never enough to stop me from running, it is a sign of an ongoing issue. In the process of experimentation, I have tried many different insoles alone and in various combinations. From the cuboid area to the ball of the foot, and from the ball of the foot to the heel the discomfort has shifted around my foot like a corn kernels in a hot pot.

My appointment wasn't exactly what I was expecting, or hoping. I have yet to discover if this was a good or bad thing. Basically, the doctor and I talked for a bit. She watched me walk down the hall and back a couple of times.

After examining how my bare feet move with walking, the doctor told me to try my old custom orthotics (with an addition that I will discuss in a minute). I had quit using these orthotics after they began feeling like they were flattening out. They just didn't seem to be as supportive as before. I had queried the sales representative on how many miles until the orthotics needed replacing. They had taken me through the training for 4 marathons already. The rep told me that he recommended that I have my feet rescanned for a new fit because "feet change". At that time I decided to try over the counter (OTC) insoles. I wasn't anxious to fork over another $250 for a new pair. It seemed to work...until now.

I asked the doctor for her recommendation on how to cushion my metatarsal bones. On a previous visit I had been told that my feet didn't have an adequate fat pad and would therefore need to be provided extra cushioning. Her response was that I didn't actually need more cushioning. Rather, she said, I needed added support of the metatarsal arch.

She rummaged through her drawer and pulled out some pads, that she stuck to my orthotics. They are about the size of the perfect rock for skipping on the water (~ 3/8 inch thick and about the size of a silver dollar). They raise up the center of my forefoot and allow my metatarsal bones to curve down like they are apparently supposed to do. The doctor mentioned the term "Metatarsalgia" and, noting the callused area adjacent to my great toe, indicated that bunion formation was also a sign of this. So, I now have a new experiment to try to utilize to tackle my foot issues. I sure hope that it works.

The more time that my doctor spent with me, the less of a lunch break she would be getting. By the time she saw me, most of the clinic staff had left the building. She didn't seem to be concerned. She went on to discuss my running shoes.

After I mentioned that either my foot was flattening out and therefore taking up more space in the shoe, or the shoe had yet another change. After a big sigh, she began to express her frustrations with shoe companies making changes to perfectly good shoes. When I told her that I wore Brooks shoes, she told me that she thought that Brooks were generally too heavy and stiff. She also mentioned that she is biased since her feet dislike them.

I already had plenty of information to digest, and I wasn't writing things down as I usually like to do. My doctor is also a runner. She told me that she actually prefers to run in men's shoes. She says that they are built a little wider with better support. She said that I should at least try on a pair in the near future since my feet would benefit from a little more room. Referring back to the blister scar on my foot she also said avoid seems, and go for the mesh.

Her final instructions were to go ahead and ramp up the mileage. She said that this is the only way that I will know if we have a solution or not.

Well, I have a lot to digest and some more experimentation to do. I'll begin with returning my old custom orthotics (and the rock-like metatarsal supports) to my shoes. Hopefully, it won't take my feet as long to get used to them as it did initially. I'll try to keep in mind that change can be good.

Posted by Juls at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)