He was quiet as a mouse yet the look on his face spoke volumes. He was scared. I stood by his side, as many of the parents did on the 1st of school. I was thankful that the kids at this new school did not seem to be worried about the un-coolness of having a parent nearby. The parents talked amoungst themselves, while their uniformed kids stood in straight lines like in the children's book Madeline.

His new teacher for the year was among the crowd. Bubbling with enthusiasm, she smiled and greeted each child one by one. Right away, she noticed him and introduced herself and asked for his name. Then she introduced him to some of the other boys in the class. Try as he might, his smile would not come out. They walked in two straight lines and, as the entered the building they did not utter a peep.

At the end of the day, I arrived to a daycare center where the kids did not yell but talked in quiet voices. I have to admit, it was a nice change from the previous center, where the loud noise was deafening. When I saw him playing a game all by himself I began to second guess the decision to change schools. But, when I finally asked him how his day he told me about the many kids that he had played with, some who were even on his football team. He talked about the things that the class was going to do in the school year, including a fieldtrip. He sounded excited. He even reported that had homework and, with pride, he noted that he had it partially completed.

When he wasn't looking, I pulled out his backpack to find the 13-pocket portfolio we were instructed to purchase neatly labeled with the various subjects. There was one page of homework completed in his best handwriting in one of the pockets. He also had a new homework planner which had two assignments neatly recorded beside the corresponding subjects.

One might guess that they don't fool around at the new school. I had warned my son that the new school would be more challenging accademically. It appears that I was right. I suspect that we might just get our money's worth out of this investment in his future. By the looks of it, he is up to the challenge.

Continue reading "Back to school" »

Posted by Juls at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

It's been too long since my last blog entry. I have been interrupted every time I have sat down to write.

YaYa's 10th Birthday (Thursday) turned out very nice. His oldest brother came up from Southern California and spent the day with him. While I was at work, they went out for breakfast and then when bowling. They were all leaving for football practice just as I arrived home to put the lasagna in an oven which was programmed to have it nice and hot by the time we returned home. I set the table ahead of time with a table cloth, Grandma F's good dishes, and the special candles given to me (from Tom and boys) at the last birthday where our family was intact. Football practice was fantastic - he was moved up to the next string and there were cupcakes to celebrate the coach's birthday. YaYa had two. We went home for dinner and cake. Then we all played 9 holes of golf in the comfort of my living room - thanks to Wii magic. My cute, Julie-like Mii lost miserably.

On Friday, I attended the funeral of my great aunt. Common to this day, was my knack for feeling lost (whether I truly was or not). The most obvious occurrence was when the funeral procession of cars was interrupted by a single car. Seeing the car, which was unmarked as "FUNERAL," the police escorts left half the procession to find our own way. It was reminiscent of Grandma's funeral only, this time, we were left to our own devices as stop lights, freeway changes, coupled with no body knowing the name or address of the cemetery added to fiasco. Lesson learned: Get the name of the cemetery (and address) before going to the car. *sigh* You'd think that we would have learned this from Grandma's funeral.

The reception that followed was rich in traditional food from Guam, as well as a whole lot of people who had a remarkable similarity to me. Do to a VERY large family (my grandfather was 1 of 10 siblings), I was introduced to A LOT of relatives - some for the 1st time, and many others from many times prior. My phrase of the day was, "Tell me how we are related to each other." Days later, I am still asking the question as many of my cousins and 2nd cousins hook up on Facebook. It's a pretty awesome task to try to put it all together.

On Saturday, I was unable to join the "team" for our long run. I was a bit disappointed as this run was to be on the Nike course. Still, I knew when I signed up that training with the team would be difficult. Lucky for me, I know that I can get 'er done when I need to. I set foot out the door at 6:30 AM and logged 6 of the 18 miles before waking YaYa for football practice. Thanks to some work in my area, my favorite brother was staying at the house and held down the fort while I ran. I hit the streets again at 9 AM for the balance of the mileage. I left YaYa at football, and waved at the coach as I set out to cover ground right from the practice field. I eyed my heartrate carefully after having inhaled my newly prescribed dose of 2 puffs of Albuterol. As I climbed the first long hill I watched in amazement as my heartrate remained at a remarkably low rate.

Continue reading "Busy Mii" »

Posted by Juls at 9:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Today was a day fought with emotions which first became apparent in church. As YaYa tried to lay his head down on my lap in church, I nudged him up to find his eyes welling with tears. He tried to convince me that "nothing" was wrong, but of course I did not believe him. I gave him permission to retreat to the bathroom for a bit and later he admitted that he did not know why he was sad. He could only tell me that he "just wasn't right."

The day continued much in the same way with the emotional unrest waxing and waning throughout the day. Later in the day, YaYa discussed the same feeling of things not being right in relation to his upcoming birthday. We talked openly about how many future "happy" events (i.e. birthdays, holidays, high school and college graduations, weddings, etc.) might have an underlying "not right" feel to them because his Dad was not able to be there with us. We both cried for a bit and then we talked about the things that were "right." I tried to bring out the best of a hard day. We looked through YaYa's scrapbook, and talked about the fun times that we have had.

Finally, we hit the road for a bike/run. The day did not immediately improve, but we were fighting through it together. We were wilting in the heat. YaYa took a spill on the pavement at mile 3. I decided at that point that it was a good place to turn back right there. On the return trip, we stayed a little closer together, and took breaks together. Stopping to split a gel packet and watch the fishermen, we took our time coming back.

Afterwards, there was just enough time for a quick dip before a birthday dinner with GrandMa and GrandBill. Hopefully, the hardest of the birthday emotions are behind him. I cannot tell you how hard it is to see my boys struggling like this. It isn't right, but it is what it is, and we're just going to have to get through it.

Posted by Juls at 7:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

We hit the trail after a full day of scrapbooking together. I use the term scrapbooking in a very loose sense. What I actually did was write the stories for the pages in my running scrapbook which were scrapped over a year ago. It is hard to remember all of the details from these races. Since I had not yet begun to blog back then, I could not fall back on my writing for the reports.

I might have been able to keep busy by creating a few new pages however, given the fact that my blogging has taken over my scrapbooking time, I haven't even printed the photos which I needed to do this. As Cindy feverishly worked on a book for her parent's 50th wedding anniversary, I tried to remember back 4-5 years ago. I am happy to report that I did make progress in recounting even the briefest of stories for the scrapbook pages. I even added them to my collection of race reports.

By the end of the day, Cindy, YaYa, and I were tired of being indoors. We went back to the same trail which we ran on yesterday for an evening walk. Almost immediately, YaYa was begging me for a piggyback ride. There was NO WAY that I was going to say yes to that request. As we came to the first of the Par Course stations, I suggested that YaYa give the exercise a try. He completed the first exercise. Then he did another, and another. Soon, Cindy and I were also working the stations.

We had covered 3+ miles, did all the exercise stations, and had a great time. By the time we finished stretching, YaYa had found another activity to occupy him. He was busy with a lizard which he named "Liz" (if it was a girl) or "Richard" (if it was a boy). It was par for the course; I swear this boy makes friends where ever he goes. Sometimes, I forget how young he really is. He had a hard time leaving his new found friend to go home. With a promise to return another time, he wiped away his tears, and we finally left for home.

Posted by Juls at 8:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We all wish for a little time to ourselves now and again. Solitude offers us time for a little introspection, a little reprieve from shuttling the little ones here and there, and time to just sit around and do nothing. It is a time to develop an appreciation for what we have.

Being alone is not all bubble baths and glasses of wine. It has it's drawbacks too. There is such a thing as too much quiet. The profound loneliness of my empty nest, however temporary, was a reminder of a future that I don't want to face. I realize that I have plenty of time between now and the time where both boys will be moving out. Still, 1 1/2 years has already gone past and I am no closer to moving on. My mind cannot even entertain the thought of a relationship with anyone else but Tom, and yet I know that I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. BoBo is already entering his junior year of high school, and YaYa is only 6 years behind him. What IF I am still alone by the time both kids are moving out? Hopefully, I'll be better at being alone by the time my nest is emptying.

After two full weeks of time to myself, I had my fill of alone time. I was ready for screaming boys, and mouths to feed. I was even ready for empty cartons of milk in the refrigerator, wet towels on the bathroom floor, and ongoing requests to shuttle here and there. I was certainly ready to give up the early calls from YaYa in NY, and late chats from BoBo in Hawaii. My son's vacations were exhausting me.

BoBo's flight arrived first, and I was thrilled to hug my son who now towers over me once again. YaYa's plane arrived the following day. He also seemed to have grown in the time that he was away. I soon found myself driving down the freeway with a car-full of testosterone-driven farts and burps, bickering and name calling. As the radio was overtaken by music foreign to my ears, I wondered just how long it would be until I'd want some solitude once again.

Continue reading "On staycation" »

Posted by Juls at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There hasn't been a lot of running going on since my knee started ailing me. I skipped my long run and didn't do much in the way of cross-training. By the time the track workout rolled around, my knee pain and popping had quieted down considerably.

Earlier in the week, I had managed to talk BoBo into joining me at track. Not only did I want to show off my boy, I also wanted him to kick some 20-something year old arse. My hopes, however, were knocked to the ground when the boy failed to lift his own tushie up high enough to clear a large rock which rope swinging. The resulting abrasion would not only prevent him from running comfortably, it would also prevent him from sitting. I made him tag along anyhow.

The workout started off-track with a 15 minute warm up on the trail. We returned to the track for your drills and dynamic stretching. Afterwards, we began a fartlek workout that was whistle driven. During this workout, the coach blew the whistle signaling us to run fast. He then blew it again for the runners to slow down. The whistle blowing continued at random intervals for 30 minutes.

I only felt my knee during the warm up run. I hit the track ready for an intense workout. I had wanted to show my son how hard I was trying to get back into shape. It was funny, but I wanted his approval. So, I was a little disappointed when he grabbed the keys and retreated to the van. Even though it was cold outside, and he didn't have a jacket, I wanted him to stand by and watch.

I quickly got over the disappointment of my teen acting like a teenager, and got on with my task at hand. Once I figured out that the longest interval was only 1 minute, I was able to push myself even harder. And I was pleasantly surprised when I came up the straight to see BoBo standing on the sidelines watching me. He'd found my spare jacket in the van, and came back out into the cold. I smiled, waved at him, and kicked a little 20-something year old arse.

Posted by Juls at 8:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Huddled under what little shade was available, several parents and I laugh together as our Mighty Mites try to quickly recall their left from right. We had our idea of which boy belonged to each of us, but there was no certainty backing our assumptions.

My son left the house wearing red socks. Half the other boys were wearing the same red socks. I find myself admiring the hustle of one of the players. I thought he was my YaYa until he ran to another parent for water.

Moment later, YaYa runs over to me. He hands me his helmet to hold, and takes a quick sip of Gatorade. His head is sweat-soaked, and he is as happy as a boy could be. "Coach said to take a 'quick sip'" he says. Aiming for success, YaYa does exactly as told; he promptly secures his helmet strap and returns to the field.

I eye him closely, not wanting to lose track of my son as he returns to a mass of similarly dressed boys, who are all the dressed alike. I watch him practice until they bunch up for a squeeze. Afterwards, my boy is just another one of the unidentified players.

Posted by Juls at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I realize that the title of this post only makes sense to a few select individuals, but in the interest of getting some sleep, I've decided to use it anyway.

I am, after all, a forty-something year old mom (aka "loser" in someone else's eyes). Somehow, I wonder if being the widowed, forty-something, not qualified for Boston yet, mother that I am might not be as bad as it sounds.

I've been living in an empty house for nearly a week now - trying out the single life. It is an interesting phenomenon. Being childless affords me the freedom to run whenever I want, get together with old friends, or lounge around and do nothing.

Interestingly enough, it also allows me to be lazy, not cook well balanced meals, and work late because nobody needs me at home. Nobody. At all.

It really sucks.

Continue reading "Forty-something year old mom" »

Posted by Juls at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

YaYa and I spent our holiday with Lil' Sis and her kids.  Everyone was out in force for the 4th of July Parade.  It was the ultimate small-town event.  There was everything from kids on bikes, to dogs dressed up in red, white, and blue.  Even the crowd paradeded around in their patriotic attire, and I was right there with them.  Of course, I wasn't as groomed as my niece, whose fingers and toes were red, white, and blue, but I did pull out my stars and stripes.

More than the various floats and oddity that rolled past, it was a blast to see the community come together for the event.  The kids even put down there Nintendo DS' to waved their hands and flags at the those parading past. 

One thing that I did find a little disappointing, was the lack of support for the 5K runners.  The streets were lined with all of the people who had arrived ahead of time in order to stake out their spots, but no one seemed to be paying attention to the race.  It would be one thing to run a 5K on empty streets, but it just seemed wrong to have all these people there and nobody even acknowledging the runners and walkers going past. 

It was no different for them than it was for Lil' Sis and I, when we ran a 6-mile run along a lonely bike path later in the day (except a little cooler).

I hope everyone had as fun of a 4th as we did.

Posted by Juls at 7:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

One by one the busses arrived.  I stood there in the summer heat waiting for a glimpse of my son.  It has been a full week since I last saw him. 

It was my friend who saw him first.  I turned to see my YaYa's smile, which is so sunny it would bright up the gloomiest of days.  It was great to see him again.  I felt the tears surfacing as we hugged, and I held him just long enough to push them back.

Less than an hour later, I was at the airport bidding my dear friend goodbye.  We hugged and, this time, it was not me who was holding back the tears.  I hoped that her arrival at home would be greeted with a much needed long embrace, and that her tears would begin to wash some of the pain away.

Posted by Juls at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

YaYa does not usually make special meal requests.  He made an exception this past Friday when he asked for "pasta" for dinner. He had been told by his coach that a meal with pasta would be a good pre-tournament dinner, and he was all over it.

I made homemade macaroni and cheese, and then called him home for dinner.  He arrived, took one look at his bowl and asked where his "pasta" was.  "This is pasta,"  I told him.  "The noodles are the pasta, not the sauce."  "Does it have carbohydrates?" he asked.  "We need to have lots of those."  I assured him that it did.  He ate it all up.

That night he came into my room with worry written all over his face.  "I think that I need electrolytes," he informed me, "my pee is yellow.  The girl at your talk said that yellow pee isn't good." 

*sigh* 

It seems that YaYa was absorbing more than the pizza at Tuesday night's TNT gear talk.  The problem is that I don't want him to be worried about carbohydrates and electrolytes.  I would rather him worry about sunscreen and thirst. 

I tried to explain that simply looking at the color of your pee was too simple.  It does not take into account the other factors that could change the color.  "YaYa, there are many reasons for yellow pee.  In your case, there is a vitamin in the B-Berrier drink that you had earlier that makes your pee yellow.  You are just fine.  Right now, what you need is sleep." 

So, with his gear all laid out, he went to bed and tossed and turned as he worried (just a little) about his up-coming tournament.  I guess this is probably just like my pre-race jitters.

Continue reading "Carbs and Lytes" »

Posted by Juls at 8:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I was past impatient, and growing worried, by the time I grabbed my keys yesturday morning. YaYa had left with Lucky in tow (or visa versa) for a morning walk. In the meantime, I’d walked Ronin through a set of dog-training drills, made my morning latte for my commute, and looked outside for signs of the boy and dog at least four times.

Although YaYa is supposed to stay within eye sight, I drove around the block first. The fact was, he was NOT within eyesight. With the amount of time that had passed, I figured that he had to have taken the long route. I was pretty sure that he wasn't in one of the courts on the block. I just doesn't take that long to cover the length of the block even if Lucky was allowed to sniff each and ever bush along the way. Unfortunately, there was no sign of him or the dog.

As my mind began playing out the worst of possible scenarios, I finally saw him. He was nearly home now, on the other side of the street, just on the outer edge of the court. He was standing almost completely still, barely creeping along. Lucky was at the end of the leash, looking back at the boy, with the grass and bushes just out of reach.

From the initial assessment, I could not imagine what could have taken the boy so long to return home, nor could I figure out why he was just standing in one spot. Then...I saw the reason: In YaYa’s hand was his GameBoy! Isn't it odd how something that has been in a drawer for a long time, then rediscovered (such as this GameBoy), can hold a boy’s attention so completely. My relief, at knowing that YaYa was safe, was quickly replaced with anger…which I unleashed on the poor lad with full force.

We have since hugged and made up. We have also talked about my worries about his safety – even if unwarranted (in this case). I also pointed out that the point of Lucky’s morning walk is that he gets exercise – which cannot happen if they are moving at a snail’s pace. He is old, but not that old.

Continue reading "In which YaYa goes for a walk..." »

Posted by Juls at 6:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I was fading fast by the end of my nephew's birthday party.  It's not that it is difficult to sit and eat fabulous food for 3 hours, even while many loud little boys run around like crazy doing Tae Kwon Do games.  I think my cold is winning the battle.  My return to the bed was seeming like the only option for me by the time the party ended.

The problem with my plan was that there were three young children begging for me to go to Auntie's house for a little more time together.  When Lil' Sis half-heartedly suggested a run, I quickly changed my mind.  I refused to let my cold take away a running opportunity.

My run with Lil' Sis took us to uncharted territory for a run which she had only heard about.  We called her friend for directions, and then went out to tackle the hilly route - full of determination.

There was not a whole lot of life out in these parts.  With the exception of a few horseback riders and one hiker, these cows and pigs were the only life forms around.

The trail was unfriendly in many ways.  It was steep (by our standards), with lose rocks that made it difficult to find your footing, and unfamiliar.  It was, however, pretty. 

We were determined to go all the way to the dam wall, which we did with minimal cussing (although Lil' Sis threatened often).  We took a picture to prove our success and then turned back.

I am still feeling worn out, but at least now I have a good reason for it.  I just wish that the feeling that my head is going to explode would go away. 

Continue reading "Tackling colds and hills" »

Posted by Juls at 7:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The days have been warm, and the nights have been cold.  It is unfortunate that I have found myself out many evenings this week without a jacket.  A soreness in my throat came on last night, and my nose is all stuffed up today.  The worst part is that my vacation is now over.  *sigh*

I know no better way to end a vacation than with a great run.  So yesterday, while I was still feeling well, I made took a trip to my favorite open space to get my shoes dirty.   

Instead of my usual route (when I was actually running there), I took a more popular trail which I usually avoid.  My avoidance is due to the intolerance that I have with meeting up with person after person while traversing the eight switchbacks.  The trail, however, is oh so lovely.  It is shaded for the majority of the climb, and has several little foot bridges to cross the creek when the loop returns to the bottom floor.

My lack of routine on this trail has made the climb mentally challenging in the past.  Although the assent of my routine trail is steeper, the familiarity with the land marks allow for an easier run.  This is much the same as racing a course that you are familiar with, compared to a course that you have never run (or even driven) before.  It is just easier.

I was prepared for a tough run - much the same as my experience last week.  The run, for whatever reason, today was easy.  Perhaps it was due to having run the trail just a week before, or maybe it was just because of the relaxed state that a vacation (even when the majority of it is at home) can produce.  Regardless, I found myself surprised to be at the top of the switchbacks, and on my way back to the van.  Because I was feeling good, I added on an extra mile to the run.  Not too much, so as not to overdue it, but just enough to feel like my running is progressing.

It is nice to see my running improving.  I have been diligent in my stretching, the performing of my ankle strengthening exercises, and in icing my knee post run.  I have a long way to go to get back fully.  Every little improvement is promising, and the timing is just right, as today officially marks the beginning of the Team In Training (TNT) Summer season.  I am thankful for these little successes.

Speaking of successes, my fundraising has gone better than I ever dreamed.  I admit, I had hopes of having met my requirement by the first training event, but I honestly felt that this was an impossibility.  To date, I have raised $2,165 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) plus approximately $400 more in donation matching.  I can actually say that I have already met my requirement.  THANK YOU so much for your support!

Let the season begin.  I am ready to begin training again.

Continue reading "Let the season begin" »

Posted by Juls at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Don't let those looming clouds fool you; we had a very nice time in the magic kingdom.  BoBo, YaYa, and I were joined by Auntie Judy (aka Sister Judith) for our fun, and pricey, adventure. 

We began the trip with the jungle adventure, were we narrowly escaped the savages and wild animals.  We utilized the Fast Pass System to ride some of the more popular rides, and rode the less popular rides in between the rides of choice. 

Disneyland was one CROWD-ED place.  Just look at the traffic jam.  It was just enough of a reminder of the upcoming trip back towards home. 

We tried to stay in moment and not the think about the day ahead of us.  At times, this could be difficult as there were reminders of tomorrow looming overhead along with the clouds.    

Lil YaYa was so frightened by Splash Mountain, that he opted to stay back with Auntie Judy while BoBo and I rode Thunder Mountain.  No matter how much I tried to remind him that he had previously rode and LOVED this roller coaster, YaYa would not change his mind. 

Continue reading "A bit of magic" »

Posted by Juls at 5:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We set off to bed 22 minutes ago.  The only problem was that my over-sensitive ears kept hearing a beep.  I would not rest until the source had been identified.  My heightened sense of hearing has proved to be more of a burden than a blessing these days.  Here again was yet another example of it's inconvenience. 

Earlier in the week, I had questioned the park staff about the buzzing sound I'd been hearing while running on the trail.  By the time I finished describing the sound, I was sure that a truck of men in white would soon be after me, straight jackets in tow.  His only thought was that I had an extremely acute sense of hearing and was listening to either the high growing mustard weeds blowing in the wind.  I am still certain that the source is some sort of bug that everyone else is immune to hearing.  Whatever.

Tonight search lead me to the usual checks.  Within minutes, I'd determined that myPhone was no longer charging on the wall.  My certainty that incoming text messages were the source of the beeps, I made a B-line towards the boys room.  My suspicion that BoBo was using the phone was a good one, however the beeping was not coming from the phone.  Feeling all the more maddened by the mystery beeping, I continued my search. 

A few minutes later, I finally located a locked box on the wall outside the building.  Since we are staying in the guest house, the resolution will not come until morning.  The beeping continues, but I am hoping that I will be able to sleep now that the source has been discovered.  We will have to see.

In the meantime, it is time to rescue myPhone from a young man who is falling to the influence of female powers other than my own.  Then, it will be time to find a way to turn down my senses and travel to the land of peaceful dreams.  Sleep well.

Posted by Juls at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It was early in the day. I was driving around doing errands. Drop the dogs at the kennel, get a replacement CamelBak, and some food for the road. Everywhere I stopped, there was a burning sound. Panic began to set in. We were supposed to hit the road for a trip down south; I needed a reliable vehicle. I quickly decided that I should probably rent a car just to be safe. Fortunately, I finally realized that I was smelling the smoke from the fires in the nearby mountains.

We finally hit the road at around 1 pm. I picked up YaYa at school. He was full of excitement from his Gold Rush Day where they mined for gold and had various activities around the Gold Rush.

After about 7 hours on the road, we arrived safely in Southern California. We survived the early stand-still traffic that made me wish I had traveled by air, and the rain that welcomed us to So-Cal. I am now enjoying being with ALL my sons, and will soon be visiting with the extended Family F. We have a trip to Disneyland planned as well.

I have my laptop with me, but am unsure if I'll get online much. Have a memorable holiday weekend.

Posted by Juls at 8:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Up until the bus drove away, I only let my worry about the unseasonably hot weather occupy my thoughts.  After the last minute haircut and sandal purchase, I lectured him one last time.  "Be sure to drink lots of water.  Stay hydrated, keep cool, and use your sunscreen" I reminded him.  After I quizzed him on my new cell number, we laughed about when he might use it.  "Well," I said, "IF the bus was to break down and you were somehow left on the side of the freeway...alone...with somebody else's cell phone...and you wanted to call for help...you would need to know how to reach me."  He reminded me that that wasn't very likely to happen.  I agreed, and then quizzed him again.

He looked so cute with his huge bag slung over his shoulder.  The agency had sent a checklist of things to pack and YaYa had carefully collected and packed each item on the list.  There were a few items, such as rain gear, that I was certain would not be needed.  Being the good camper that he is, he packed them anyhow.

I waited with the other parents until the bus made it's exit and then got into my van and left for home.  Up ahead, I could see the bus approaching the freeway and then driving the opposite way as me.  I could feel the tears coming.  It wasn't because I would miss him (though I certainly would), it was because life had dealt us a hand which would necessitate bereavement camp. 

I let a couple of tears roll down and then put detour signs up for the rest.  It's difficult to see clearly when your eyes are full of tears, and I need to stay safe for my children.  I said a prayer for each of us, and merged onto the freeway.  

Posted by Juls at 8:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I'm here at YaYa's soccer game, frozen from the chilly wind, and disinterested as a wave of unfairness hits me. Fathers (aka Husbands) surround me on the soccer field. They exchange high-fives as they block my view, until I lose interest all together.

Fortunately, I look up just on time to see YaYa dribbling straight towards the goal. He shoots and SCORES. My son, that is! Now, it is my turn to receive the high-five.

My interest in the game is returning...somewhat. 

Posted by Juls at 9:40 AM | Permalink

I sat in the tiny bit of shade left as I watched the boys run up and down the soccer field.  The day was heating up quickly.  With the temperature up well into the 80s, today would be a day of much sweating. 

YaYa was running up and down the field like crazy. He wiped the sweat from his eyes.  I watched proudly, though in ignorance for soccer is not a sport that I know much about.  I try to keep my cheers are simple, so as not to let on my lack of knowledge OR to misdirect my son. 

The game was a good one.  YaYa's team scored the first goal, the other team tied it up, and finally YaYa's team got the win.  It looks like the weather isn't the only thing that is heating up.  It looks like the soccer season is heating up too.

Posted by Juls at 8:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

When YaYa was just a wee lad, he used to play with my hair while going to sleep.  He would do it unconsciously, reaching up and twirling the strands, of what hair his little hands could grab a hold of, until he feel off to sleep.  After he was safely sleeping, I would gently remove my hair from his little fist so that I could retreat to my own bed - at least for a few hours.

As YaYa grew, the routine continued to be a part of our nightly routine.  He came up with names for the various types of hair-play - Rakes, Pick Ups, Ponytails, Pets, etc.  Unfortunately, these days the hair-play is less common than it is routine.  There is nothing more enjoyable though.

Tonight, in order to get him to do "ponytails", I have to bribe him with sips of my tea. 

*sheesh* 

What is this world coming to?

Posted by Juls at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I was very subtle in the way that I told you that I started taking an antidepressant.  I thought that medicine would reduce my bouts of anxiety, and lessen my trips to the emotional gutter.  I may have been wrong.

This weekend was ever so anxiety ridden.  Sure, I had reason to be anxious, but my depression was over the top as well.  In the back of my mind, I have been wondering if the medication has instigated a change of the wrong kind.

In my distraught state, I retreated to Lil Sis' house.  We ended up going for a hike in the hills near her home.  There is nothing like fresh air, and a little bit of sunshine to bring new light to my dreary thoughts.

Thanks, Lil Sis, for shining on my cloudy day.

Posted by Juls at 8:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

The day was especially emotional.  Although it would seem that I am doing well, I could not help but feel overwhelmed with everything that I've been doing.  Even the successes overwhelm me. 

Busy, busy, busy was my week.  New therapy appointments, school meetings, scheduling therapy appointments, coordinating a few repairs, and work.  It wasn't over by the time 5 pm hit. 

YaYa and I had an appointment to allow him to attend a bereavement camp in May.  It was pleasant but felt long and tiring.  Since it was so far away from home, I felt even more out of touch with BoBo.  The effect was crippling.

I have felt unsettled all night long.  I don't know how to describe it except to say that it feels like my heart is IN my throat - like I am trying to swallow it but it is stuck. 

Now that my ECG and echo have come back within the norm, I suppose I can chalk this feeling up to anxiety.  It's just so unsettling.

Although I have seen that my son is okay, I still cannot shake the feeling.  I don't know how I will survive 2008.  I could have done without the extra day that leap year dishes out.

Posted by Juls at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The day started out like any other.  I got to work to find my cell phone had been left behind.  No biggie.  I mostly call BoBo on my way home from work but his cell was dead with a charger that has gone AWOL.  Remotely, I turned on my extended absence greeting and went about my day.

Later on, I decided to call my phone to check voicemail.  Much to my surprise, my phone was answered by someone with a strong accent and deep voice.  It seemed that my phone was no longer where I had left it.  Where was it now, and How did it get there? 

What to do?  I pondered a minute.

I’d left my phone by the kids’ computer last night.  Oh course.  If you were a boy, with a dead cell phone, it would be pretty hard to resist having a loaner phone that seemed to be waiting for you.  Especially, when it already had most of your friends’ numbers on it thanks to an overly protective Mom?  It didn't take a sleuth to figure that one out.

Now, how would I get it back? 

The gentleman with the phone ("GWP" for short) spoke Spanglish - a mostly Spanish with a touch of English form of communication.  I could only determine that the phone had been dropped some place near apartments.  My Spanglish, being a mostly English flavor with a touch of Spanish, was of no help in locating GWP's whereabouts.  So much for my 3 years of high school Spanish. 

Continue reading "Have cell; will travel" »

Posted by Juls at 8:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

"Oh hell" is the name of a funny card game that the Family F likes to play.  Somehow, I've always found a distraction worthy enough of my missing the competitive play.  But when DD and Tash surprised us with a quick visit yesterday, I looked on with interest. 

YaYa seemed to have a knack for winning.  Soon, DD and Tash were throwing down their cards and hitting the road again.  It was short but sweet, and we enjoyed seeming them again.

Continue reading "Weekend surprises" »

Posted by Juls at 7:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

There are times when I seriously regret bring Ronin home. On Friday, after the dogs were alone in the house for about 20 minutes was one of those times. We came home to find BoBo’s Vocabulary book, which he left on the table, in pieces all over the entryway. The culprit could only be Ronin.

Now, image him telling his teacher that his dog ate his homework. Do you think she’ll believe him?!

Posted by Juls at 3:05 PM | Permalink

YaYa sat on the couch eating one of the bananas that we’d just brought home from the store. As is always the case, the dogs hovered nearby with long strings of drool hanging from their jowls. I tried to ignore it so that I wouldn’t feel like puking at the sight and, to deter the begging I ordered the dogs to go away. To my surprise, Ronin did go away. Lucky just lay down at my feet. We continued watching television.

Moments later, the big brute that we call Ronin came prancing in with a bundle of four large bananas. He took them over to his bed and was curling up to have his way with them when I removed them from his mouth.

Banana robbery, right before our eyes - The Nerve!

Continue reading "Banana robbery" »

Posted by Juls at 9:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It has been a little disappointing that my ankle has taken so long to fully heal.  I've tried it out a couple of times. 

While out running with Ronin (the first time running since my injury as well as running with him) I was not aware of any soreness until afterward.  I let a bit of time pass before I tried again.  In the meantime, I focused on my ankle strengthening exercises. 

The second time, my run was on the treadmill.  I managed to get two sluggish, out of breath, painful miles completed.  The pain (only when trying to pick up the pace) was certainly a sign that I need to let more time pass.  Being out of breath was a sign that I have lost fitness.  Even the heart rate reading (181 beats per minute) confirmed this fact.  Although it has always been on the high side, I was disappointed to see it so high at a speed of only 6.5 mph.

I have been reluctant to try again.  The cycle bores me to pieces.  I mean, it's one thing to be running and going nowhere, but to pedal and go nowhere is just wrong.  It doesn't even feel natural.  In the pool, I can feel my ankle twinge when I do the frog kick (breast stroke).  Fortunately, I hate breast stroke, so it isn't a problem. 

Continue reading "Physical challenges to achieving relaxation" »

Posted by Juls at 10:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's Monday night and I sit here on the floor of the hospice waiting room.  The floor feels solid underneath me.   Solid ground is good; it's something that I can count on.  I lean against the wall, letting down my hair for the first time since this morning's shower.  It is still damp, and probably looks a mess, but removing the clip allows me to rest my head against the wall.  I like being held up; it is a nice change.

I breath deeply and take in the quiet.  All of the support groups are in session.  The doors are closed, leaving YaYa and I to ourselves.  He lies on the floor in front of me, finishing his homework.  It is fun to watch him as he concentrates fully on his spelling, careful to put forth his very best cursive for his teacher.  She calls her students "scholars" and he takes the title seriously.

I want to be quiet enough to hear myself think, but there is no chance in that.  The air blowing through the vent is one of the few sounds that can be heard initially.  If you get quiet enough, however, the cars rushing past on the freeway, the people moving about upstairs, and an occasional laugh (or cry) can be heard as well.  I try hard to hear my thoughts, but instead I am aware of more, and more noises. 

YaYa is now rustling his papers; he is bouncing all over trying to avoid the next assignment.  The janitor is busy emptying the trash cans, someone is walking past the window talking on her cellular phone, and I think there is a T Rex walking around upstairs.  It brings back memories of trying to study in the library and being bugged by turning pages, ticking clocks, and people sighing. 

Oh well, I guess thinking will have to wait for another day.

Posted by Juls at 9:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have been struggling to help BoBo, as well as myself.  My call for help has been getting louder and louder.  Unfortunately, the responses were few and far between.  Even the school has not been ask helpful as I would like. 

Except for the two teachers who regularly respond to my messages, my emails to BoBo's school have largely been ignored. I even tried to explain that I was trying to hold BoBo accountable (with consequences) for every missing assignment.  It wasn't until I talked to the principal that I got any response at all. 

I finally received an email with the grades for 4 of 6  classes.  The email was accompanied with a note that "the parent viewer will show the current attendance and grades."  I responded by telling her that I check the parent viewer daily and that these grades were NOT posted on the parent viewer.  In fact, I added, for 1/2 of the classes there is NO grade posted at all - not one assignment's grade entered.  To this, I did not receive a response.

It is hard not to lose hope in the face of all that is going on.  It seems like my efforts to create change have backfired on me.  It was beginning to feel like no one, even the professionals, were willing to help me.  I was losing hope.  When venting about the number of messages gone unanswered to various therapists in the area, my boss suggested that the one who would eventually return my call would likely be the right one. 

The next day, my cell phone rang and I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.  She was the therapist that my physician had recommended from my own needs, but she knew of the "perfect person" for BoBo to work with.  She said that she would give him my information so that we could get things going.  In the meantime, I set up an appointment for myself to visit with her. 

Later in the day, BoBo's pediatrician returned my call.  He agreed in the recommendation.  Even more reassuring was that all of the doctors seem to concur that the issues which I have been experiencing with him, although normal teen issues (perhaps intensified), are just a symptom of depression following his father's death.  It seems that I am on my way to getting him some help. *sigh* At least I hope so.

I want the focus to be on him healing his psyche.  I'll trust the professionals to deal with the other stuff as appropriate after that.

Continue reading "My call for help" »

Posted by Juls at 3:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

There are funny sounds coming from the other side of the room.  These sounds are followed by giggling, and I am certain that the air is filling with a foul scent.  Thankfully, I cannot smell anything. 

Due to the strong taste of garlic and wine in my mouth, I am protected from vampires as well as all toxic smells that are accompanied by giggling.  Perhaps it is the wine, but I am thoroughly enjoying the whole thing.

Oh the joys of life with boys.

Posted by Juls at 9:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I left work early today to attend my "group" session.  I cried all the way home as I thought of the past couple of weeks.  It has not been easy for me.  In fact, the emotional drain has been equal to watching my husband dying.  It feels like I am doing it all over again, only this time I am watching my son's life slip away from him. 

My head hurts, and my eyes burn from crying.  My son tells me that he wants to quit baseball because he doesn't enjoy it anymore.  He adds that he doesn't anything anymore.  I know exactly what he means.  I feel the same way.  I pray that his coach will talk him out of it.  I pray that he will give it a bit longer...but I know that it won't change his level of enjoyment.  Nonetheless, I want him to do it. 

When I called him from the home phone, an hour later, he asked why I was home.  He'd forgotten that YaYa and I had "group" today.  I told him that I didn't like my job...so I quit.  There was silence on the line.  If only it were that easy - I'd just sleep away the days until this nightmare was over.  I told him that I was joking.  He told me that he loved me.

Continue reading "Something for me?" »

Posted by Juls at 8:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

For my Best Shot Monday (BSM) post, I want to share this photo and Congratulate my brother, Robert for finishing his 1st 5K race. I know it wasn't easy, but YOU DID IT.

I am so proud of you.

Posted by Juls at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It's Friday night again.  I've been anticipating the approaching weekend with dread.  I'm no dummy.  I know that the weekdays are like the calm before the weekend storm. 

The one thing that I can always look forward to on Friday night is the TV show Friday Night Lights.  Somehow, it is comforting to see teenagers, other than my own, experiencing disappointment and troubles.  There issues make mine seem so trivial, and yet...it also awakens you to what could possibly occur if you let down your guard.

So, as the dogs get frisky, I turn on a few lights and wait for my son to return home from his Friday night out. 

Posted by Juls at 9:47 PM | Permalink

As you may have guessed (by the lack of content in my recent posts), there is a lot going on behind the scene. There is much that could be said about the process, but I am choosing to keep a little privacy going. Let me just suffice to say that the “terrible twos” are NOT the most difficult of times for the parent-child relationship. These days are forcing me to show my love in a different way. It is a time of self discovery; a time where I am learning more about strength and endurance than ever before.

I feel relieved this week. Perhaps it is the break from the rain; a bit of sunshine is always a reason to smile. I feel stronger, more level headed, and confident. It feels as if my load has been lightened. If only a little lighter, it is still quite noticeable. Still, I wonder why my jaw feels as if I’ve spent the night with clenched teeth. I suppose it is because common sense tells me that the fight has only just begun.

Posted by Juls at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Take it from me, raising a teenager is difficult work.  Add the death of a father, and it all gets pretty complex.

It only took me ten months to realize that I've been hurting my son, rather then helping him, by being focused too much on the loss.  In the process, I've stood by and watched his grades plummet and struggle with poor decision making. 

By the time that my heart ache had gotten so bad that I wondered if I was having subtle signs of a heart attack, I realized (finally) that it was time to generate some courage. 

It is easy to say the words "I love you," but it is really hard to show the love by saying "NO." 

Posted by Juls at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I was pissed when I left my support group on Wednesday.  Pissed - Because the facilitator came on a little too strong with her comments on what I should do about BoBo.  She's never even met him.

I am really fed up with the number of people who are willing to give their free advice on how I should be parenting and what I should be doing.  While I admit that I need to make some changes, I fear that any rash actions on my part may push BoBo in the opposite direction.  I also feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by the thought of adding more to my already full plate. 

What I need to do is take better care of ME.  I'm not suggesting that I sit on the couch eating bon-bons while my son gets lost in a cloud of smoke.  I'm just finally admitting that my body has been letting me know that I need to care for it better.

My throat has been sore since at least Christmas.  Sometimes the pain is mild.  Other times it hurts bad enough that I get up in the wee hours to drink a cup of hot tea.  I have been feeling like the weight of the world is upon me as well.  On my chest to be exact.  Perhaps it's just stress, but I am too young to feel this way.  So, today saw the doctor and had many tests done.

If you want to help, put some skin in the game; don't tell me what you think I should be doing or tell me how mad you are at BoBo for putting me through this.  Push aside your judgement and think for a moment what you might do if your Dad died when you were a teenager.  And don't call someone else to tell them what they need to do for me either. 

Posted by Juls at 12:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I am trying to maintain the best thoughts of who you are.  You are sending messages, however, that you are becoming somebody very different.  I think if you looked closely, you would see that you’re heading in a direction where no one will benefit – particularly YOU.  I will always love you, but the actions that I am contemplating may send a different message.  Someday, I hope, you will understand and thank me.

Posted by Juls at 8:23 AM | Permalink

Somebody has to find humor in the incident; Lord knows I am trying to.  If anything, it was a learning experience.  I expect the security guard is still collecting himself off of the floor of his truck after hearing my confession.  I had to tell someone; I didn't want to just drive away, leaving the smell of disaster to invoke panic in those who couldn't keep away from the building on a company holiday. 

Well, actually we DID drive away.  But then I came back to the parking lot.  I then confessed to the guard, only I didn't tell him the whole story.  I just asked him if he was there because of the smell coming from the kitchen.  I told him that we burned something in the kitchen.  Simple.  Right?  He seemed to enjoy hearing the story. 

I hated being in the situation.  It is easy to focus on the I should have's after the fact.  I am still kicking myself for thinking that YaYa knew better.  Of course he didn't. 

Here's what happened:  My work has Cup-O-Noodle Soup packages for free and the kids love to have some whenever we stop in for me to check email on my day off, or whatever the reason.  YaYa usually goes off with BoBo to collect up the goods so that by the time they have their soup I am ready to go.  The system has worked out pretty well...until now.

The missing piece was BoBo.  He wasn't with us today.  I had told YaYa to wait for me but, when he headed to the kitchen ahead of me, I didn't stop him.  I went to my desk, thinking I would dock my computer, log in, and let my settings load while I retrieved YaYa. 

Well, I soon got sidetracked.  In reading and responding to the emails regarding BoBo's curriculum for his 2nd semester (the reason why I needed to go to work), I forgot about YaYa until I heard him calling for me.  I quickly got up.  Immediately, I saw in his face that something bad had happened.  Something was wrong.  I pictured noodles and soup all over the floor, but that wasn't it.  

I arrived in the kitchen to find a thick cloud of smoke.  My eyes nearly bulged out of my head as I wondered how on earth hot water from a tap could have ended up causing smoke.  Then I saw the reason for the smoke, and I realized that YaYa didn't have a clue on how to prepare Cup-O-Noodle Soup. 

Continue reading "Cup-O-Noodle Soup" »

Posted by Juls at 3:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

I don't think that I was any different from the majority of the population in thinking that Tom and I would grow old together.  The only reason that crossed my mind, for why we might not, was if we split up.  I often wondered if, after the kids were grown, we had enough in common to want to play out the rest of our lives together.  We really were very different.  But we did love each other.

Of course I never dreamed that he would die so young.  I found myself carrying out a promise to take care of him, thinking that we were supposed to be old and gray by the time I had to take on that role.  It isn't always how you plan it. 

Tom often would complain that his life had no meaning.  He never felt that his existence had a purpose.  Simply bringing in three wonderful sons, and raising them up with values and happiness was not enough for him.  I now realize that his happiness was held hostage by a grief that I could never fathom.  I do believe that he came to terms with this before he died.  Still, we are very different individuals, he and I. 

Ever since Tom's death, the prospect of dying before I am old and gray has threatened.  Even with the breast cancer scare, I promised the kids that I would fight to the end.  Thankfully, it didn't go that route.  I didn't then, and won't ever, make promises to my children that I will be around forever (or any other measure of time). 

Knowing that I won't be around for eternity, there are a few things that I want to see/accomplish before I do die.  I think that my list is simple.  Unlike Tom's initial thoughts on the meaning of life, I believe that if I can make a difference in my children's lives, then mine will have been worth my existence.  I need nothing more than that.

Continue reading "If I should die before I wake..." »

Posted by Juls at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

BoBo is away at his older brother's home for a few days.  I will at least get a break from worrying about where he is, who he's with, what he's doing, and whether he's safe.  I can focus on spending some quality time with YaYa, instead of forcing him to leave his friends in order run errands or pick up BoBo from where ever his skateboard has taken him.

I know that BoBo will be in good hands and will have a good time as well.  I think that he will even enjoy being with family for a while, instead of his all-important friends.  I am trying not to be so hurt that he doesn't want to be around me anymore.  It is so hard not to bitter.

Love just sucks sometimes.  I'm finding truth in the saying that we hurt those whom we love the most.  The combination of losing his father and the teen years is wicked.  I just hope that BoBo realizes how much I love him; he hasn't been around very much for me to tell him so.  I love him so much that it hurts.

I will count my blessings that the age gap between the boys is large enough to (possibly) allow me to gather some more strength before YaYa hits the teen years full force.  I know that I'm going to need my strength when my momma's boy turns anti-family.  I'll have to make these memories last and then call upon them when YaYa is putting me through his own version of teen-hood.

Posted by Juls at 8:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

This morning, when I was trying to make up for time lost...do to useless trips downstairs...where I accomplished absolutely nothing, my youngest son put me in my place. Yes, my 9-year-old scolded me - gently of course.
I guess I was being a bit inpatient with him. I was also complaining a little too much...about having to do too many things (which I wasn't exactly doing very well, by the way). That was when he told me that "just because I was having a bad day [because of the crutches] didn't mean that I needed to ruin his day too." He said other things too, such as that I wasn't doing EVERYTHING, and reminding me that he *was* helping me.

It's true - ALL of it. I was scolded by a 9-year-old and I deserved it.

Posted by Juls at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Good ol' Lucky has been eager to run again. A few days ago, when I took the dogs down to the elementary school, he went directly to the track, looked back at me as if to say, "let's go", and started to run. It was a Lucky paced run but most certainly a run. His energy has been improving and I have been amazed at his persistence. Lap after lap, we travel around the dirt track as Ronin makes his own way jackrabbit style. Today, we went around eight times. Pretty good for an 11-year-old dog, huh?

That's what I thought, but tonight he is limping. Poor guy. I think he over did it.

Posted by Juls at 9:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The new dog won't sit still. He's driving me nuts. Since we got him, we've had to keep all of the doors in the house closed in order to avoid finding our precious belongings in his mouth. Let me tell you, it makes for dark and dreary hallways.

Call me paranoid, but when I hear him moving around upstairs I can't relax. I have to go up to check on him to be sure that he hasn't found a door ajar. It's unnerving because he is very persistent. He has plenty of his own things, but that doesn't seem to satisfy him.

Ugh! I've got to go. He just went up the stairs and I just heard the door to BoBo's room opening. Can't a girl kick back, rest her weary body, and watch iCarly with her son? What is this world coming too?

Posted by Juls at 9:22 PM | Permalink

In spite of the casualties, the new dog is coming along with his leash manners. It's not perfect, but progress is progress. While Ronin isn't very considerate of Lucky's need for frequent potty stops, when I am walking the two dogs together, Lucky isn't a gem in this area either. If there is any thought of the other dog, on these group walks, it would be to dominate the other in a way so subtle that I didn't notice.

Well, I DO notice. When one dog wants to stop, the other pulls onward. They cut each other off constantly. Ronin pushes Lucky's nose away so that he can get a wiff and when Lucky wants to pee, he doesn't let Ronin's nose stop him from going. Fortunately, Ronin has quick reflexes.

On solo walks, however, each dog has their merits. Lucky is a lot better behaved but his running days are history. On Christmas Eve, I nearly had to drag him home when I got freaked out with numerous police cars on my route. We were only going around the block. My old man just couldn't do it.

Ronin, on the other hand, has plenty of energy. He is learning to stay at my left side and not to cut me off. Tonight, we ran around three blocks. I haven't gone running in nine days now, so running with Ronin was awesome...even if it was only three blocks worth.

Posted by Juls at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

It's just shy of midnight. I am tired from a day of many dog walks, baking cookies, and trying to sneak off to do some wrapping of gifts. Everyone is asleep except me.

I just finished setting out the presents beneath the tree. From the looks of it, Santa has already come and gone. The number of presents under the tree has drastically increased and the stockings are now filled. All that is left of the cookies, milk and carrots that YaYa put out are a few crumbs on the table.

The boys be so excited in the morning. I'd better get to bed. Tomorrow will be a busy day.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Continue reading "T'was the night before Christmas" »

Posted by Juls at 11:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

My key gift to the family is gong to be one that requires a lot of work. There were a number of ways the idea crept into my head - and then stayed there nagging me until I acted. Although it probably wasn’t' my best decision, I am hoping that I didn't make a BIG mistake.

He is a real sweetie. He's black, like Lucky, only with long hair (Lil Sis laughed at this one), and 10 months old. I'll post a picture later. He is finally lying down on his own and I know that, if I get up to grab the disk, I may never enjoy this luxury again. If only I had some coffee.

My blogging is likely to suffer for an unknown time period. Don't worry too much if you don't hear from me for a while.

Another area of my life that is likely to be compromised is my running. I expect this to last at least until my furry friend is better behaved on the leash. I'm motivated to train him as I have plans for him to be my running companion on early morning runs. He certainly has enough energy for it. The question is, do I?

Continue reading "Dog gone it" »