Little Miss Runner Pants

it was ungodly muggy/humid out today and wow did i get salty.... sweat was running down my everything by the buckets and seriously... i dont know the last time i smelled that bad. ew. sick. gross. i'm officially disgusting.

but today wasnt about that, today was our Silent Mile (the first and last mile of our run was done in silence, as explained in an earlier post).... it was a time to think about why we're out there running, who we're out there running for and what it means to us, etc etc....

during the first mile i did my cursory "i am running for kyle chadwick, this makes me proud, he is my inspiration" mantra for a good 2 minutes and went on about my usual business. the run itself was pretty par... nothing special or out of the ordinary, a pretty flat course compared to what we've been running, it was hot, i got tired, what else is new. fast forward to the last mile.

for whatever reason the last mile hit me like a ton of bricks.

as i was running (out of steam) i started thinking about my honor patient, kyle. i started thinking about how he's so young, and he's spent so much of his life in the hospital, missing out on so much of what little kids do. i started thinking about his family, the expense of having a child with this disease... emotionally, spiritually, financially. i started thinking about how many kids there are, just involved in our mid-west region TNT program, going through the same thing... how all of this goes on, on a daily basis across the globe, and the rest of us just live our lives taking so much for granted... our health, our youth.. just going about our business, not a care in the world.....i started thinking about my family. my mom. she was diagnosed with breast cancer when i was five. i was five years old and all i remember is playing hop-scotch in the hospital hallway, not having any idea that my mom was in the next room over, sick with cancer. i had no idea. and she never let on... she was always my big strong mom, my mommy, who held it all together and got through breast cancer and i NEVER KNEW. and it killed me. i was suddenly hit with so many emotions i could barely hold it together... but i was running, and quickly realized crying and breathing dont so much go hand in hand so i sucked it up and started thinking about my own life. about the obstacles in my life that i've over come. about the goals i've set out for myself, what all i've accomplished and how this marathon fits in... it was a good mile. it was a GREAT mile.

and then? then was the best part... i rounded the last little corner to see hoards of people milling about, cheering on their family and friends to finish their run. i saw signs that said "my mommy rocks" and "run sarah run", balloons, finger paintings by cute little kids and all of a sudden, out of nowhere i see this sign that says "GO ALEJ GO" and i'm flabbergasted. what the CRAP is Lizzie (best friend) doing here holy CRAP what the CRAP is going on????!!!! (and oh yeah, my name isnt maria, its alejandra, hence the sign, incase you're all just really confused right now)...
my very wonderful beautiful amazing friend was out cheering me on with the best ever little homemade sign and again, i wanted to cry. it was without a doubt the best finish to a run i have ever experienced.

i was tired, and salty, and hot, and extremely emotional but doing my best to keep it in and i dont think i fully expressed my appreciation to Lizzie for coming out there... i dont think she knows how much, how absolutley much i appreciate the small gesture of just support and how much she means to me and how great of a friend she is and how much of a cry-baby i am and my GOD could someone get me a tissue because my eyes wont stop leaking.

but i'll let her know, i will definitely let her know. anyway... that was my run today. i cried the entire drive home.... smiling.

and lizzie, incase you're reading this... you are the sister i never had, and i love you. thank you so much... for all of it.