Little Miss Runner Pants

so, ok...today's run.
today was supposed to be an easy 6 miles around the air field. no big whoop, did it last week and loved it. woke up, ready to go, got to work, left the gym and..... yeah. no. not gunna happen.
my legs just didnt want to run. i'd run for a bit, they'd scream for a while, i'd walk, and we'd start over. for TWO. MILES. there was a lot of "omg this is ridiculous. suck it up legs, just RUN dammit!" followed by legs saying, in response "oh yeah? watch THIS" and then i'd say "@$%&*. fine. you win." and walk some more...
yeah. my body and i get along really well like that.

but as i "ran" along the air field, i think maybe for the first time i started letting my emotions take over, just a little bit. and it made for a very interesting run.

i think it stemmed from some non-running issues i've been doing my best to ignore the past few days.... week... hell i dont know. month. year. LIFE. (ok obvioulsy not. did i mention i tend to over-dramatize?) because i was running, and everything around me was just getting to me..... there were too many nats. too many pot-holes. too many crickets. the gravel was too gravel-y. not gravel-y enough. it was all getting under my skin in that tell-tale sign of somethings up.

so. music/headphones---off.
running---suck it up and go.
whatever's bothering me and wants out---lets do this.
and i took off.

i mean i took OFF. all the aching and the burning and the whining were done. it was me, just me and.... holy MOTHER i had no idea how freeing running can really be!!!!

i was on fire. i was a mad-woman, caught up in this possesed moment of "ARGH" and it was nuts. i dont know where it came from. hell i didnt know i had it IN me... but i looked at my watch at one point and saw i was running a 9:58 pace and i wasnt dying. YEAH! i know!!!! i freaked out too! and the thing is... i didnt want to stop. i couldnt stop. i couldn't even slow down!!

and then... right about the time i started to forget about the thing that had me so riled up, and started thinking i was gunna finish out my 6 miles at a 10 minute pace(hi whats up delusional!)... my legs decided to chime in and let me know i was out of my mind if i thought i could do this for more than a mile, and i very quickly slowed to a hobbled walk.

soon after, my garmin chirped at me, letting me know i had just run the last mile at a 10:22 minute pace ('bout a minute faster than my norm), and i just kinda had to laugh. i was done. i knew it. i'd run 4.5 miles, i was a half mile from the gym, and i felt too good to keep going. i pretty much chuckled at my ridiculousness as i jogged back to the gym, realized maybe that thing that i've been ignoring, well...that it doesnt want to be ignored anymore.... and i kinda bonded with "running" in a way i hadn't before.

heh. seems like every week me and running get to know each other in "new and interesting" ways...