Little Miss Runner Pants

to the left is the graph of my run, and below are my splits...

mile 1... 15:09
mile 2... 12:10
mile 3... 11:55
mile 4... 11:53
mile 5... 11:37
mile 6... 10:47
mile 7... 13:07 (the first major hill)
mile 8... 10:39
mile 9... 11:59 (beginning of horrendous hill)
mile 10... 11:13 (end of horrendous hill)
mile 11... 10:56 (me going down hill really fast)
mile 12... 11:59 (back up)
mile 13... 13:48 (stopping for bio-freeze)
mile 14... 12:02 (beginning to not enjoy this...)
mile 15... 12:21
mile 16... 12:13
mile 17... 14:12 (yeah um. ouch, here's where i was stretched)
mile 18... 12:36
mile 19... 12:43
mile 20... 14:44 (pity party, table for one!)
mile 21... 12:56 (i am not a quitter $%&#!)
mile 22... 13:45 (omg i can't go on)
mile 23... 12:36 (yes i can...)
mile 24... 13:17 (please let this end!!!)
mile 25... 12:52 (i'm so close...)
mile 26.. . 13:35 (no i'm not, its so far away...)
mile .467... 5:31 (oh thank god...)

average pace of.... 12:34/mi

well... at least it'll be easy to PR next time, eh?!

Posted by a.maria at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBacks (0)

i wobbled to the men in tuxedos, grabbed a tiffany box, and collapsed in the first available chair. get that damn chip timer off'a me!!

somehow i found my parents in the crowd. i was sore. and tired. and angry/frustrated/disappointed. but i was numb. i wasn't excited. having run a marathon was, at the time, the stupidest thing anyone could ever do ever in the history of mankind, and i hated it. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid was all i could muster. i didn't want to be congratulated. i didn't want anyone to be "proud" of me... i certainly wasnt. the entire thing was ridiculous. I, was ridiculous.

slowly i calmed down, i hugged my parents and thanked them for being there. thank God they were there, i was a complete mess. i was walking in circles, talking jibberish. my dad tried to help me out by taking away the tiffany bag, and i clung to it like a child to her blankey.

the necklace. i want the necklace

i squatted down to my now preferred body position and pulled out the blue Tiffany box. it was just a necklace. but as i opened the little blue pouch, and tugged on the chain, the floodgates opened, my body quit fighting it, my mind let go of it and my emotions took over.

i cried. no.... i sobbed. my entire body shook as i held that necklace. that perfectly silver runner i held in my hand represented so much, and in a moment it all came rushing towards me. the training. all the months of dedication and sacrifice. everything about who i've become and the ride it's all been. my parents. my friends. everyone that gave something of themselves to me that helped me along the way. everyone that told me how proud of me they were.... everyone that knew i'd finish. when even i questioned my own strength.

i was overcome. and it felt so good not to hold all that in anymore.....

Posted by a.maria at 09:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (25) | TrackBacks (0)

well.... i walked. SS and TB kinda had a quasi-trot thing goin' on, and by the first half-mile, watching them bounce along... i just wanted to join in. so we ran. slowly. and it was good.

we ran thru the city down to the pier. we weaved in and out of slower runners and walkers and just made our way thru the crowd. somewhere along mile 3 we passed a bakery, the smell of fresh baked bread filled the air and you couldn't help but smile. the little bakers had big tall chef's hats on. how could you not love it?!

the pier was gorgeous. the houses along the beach were amazing... around mile 4 i decided it'd be a good time to pick the pace up to our normal time, especially before the hills, and told Stripe Shirt of my plans... "okay!!" she replied, and so we ran....

a few minutes later i look around and... i'm alone. alone in a sea of women, but i'm without my running buddies. SS had apparently meant "okay, you go on ahead" and i realized it was just as well. i need to run my own race. and keeping track of someone in the crowd was distracting.... so i focused on the view and my music and the running was good.

miles 4-6 were along the beach (if i remember correctly) and it was amazing. i've never run on the coast before, and the feeling of "i am a runner" overwhelmed me. the sound of the waves crashing, the magnificent homes that looked out onto the ocean... i fell in love with running all over again and whispered "i cant believe i'm really doing this" as i took in the view.

mile 7...the hill was around the corner, i could see all the women ahead of me making their way up and i felt the determination well up inside me. i'm running this thing dammit. smaller steps. same turn-over. don't over do it, but dont wuss out. it'll feel so good to have done it and so i did. i made my way up. up and up. and i got to the top and the feeling of all hail the running goddess was alive and well.... i had no fear. i was a runner. there was nothing to stop me.... so i galloped down the hill, relaxing my body, getting it ready for the hill i could see ahead of me in mile 9.

outta nowhere, mile 9 was horrendous. i had forgotten it spanned more than just one mile, and having not prepared myself for such a long struggle, i decided killing myself on the hill would be a bad idea, so i walked a good portion up to the top. as i reached the top i began to run again, knowing the downhill was coming soon, and i felt good. refreshed. the walking was just what i'd needed, and i began to pick up some speed.

mile 10 was just straight down, and until then i'd had no knee problems what-so-ever. i'd actually forgotten about knee issues entirely. as i barrelled down the hill, feeling like a little kid, it hit me. like a bolt of lightening. BAM. knee.....@$#! i thought this was in the bag. ok. ok its just pain and really... its really not that bad. just... flop. try that flopping thing Brent always talks about. relax your legs from the knee down and it helped. for a good minute. then, BAM, leg gave out. WHOA what was that? i went spaghetti for a second. ok that was weird....... ok that has me kinda freaked out. i'm going really fast. lets slow it down a bitYOWCH... slowing it down hurts. alllllrighty. so i wont slow down, i'll floppily continue running...and yeah. ok. that's the plan...

sometime in the midst of this inner dialog my Coach catches up with me..."how ya doin?!".... "uhhh. good?"..."how's the knee"..."uhhh.. hurts. downhill kinda sucks. but i got it. i'm good"...."ok".... he tells me to run on the crown of the street so i dont strain one foot or the other and off he goes to some fellow teammates.... i pull off to the side, rub on some bio-freeze and continue on my way.

mile 11 hits me. my knee is just gunna hurt. this is that "its just pain" thing they were talking about. so okay. quick body check....... yeah. no. this isn't terrible. i'm... i'm still running, for crying out loud. this is not that bad. infact... yeah. bio-freeze is kicking in. pain is evaporating. deep breath in.... deep....ohmygod i can't breathe. mile 11, as i'm rounding a corner going ever so slightly up a hill, i can't breathe. i can't open my lungs. i start freaking out because...i'm not asthmatic. i'm... i'm a good breather. breathing is my thing and for a good 2 minutes, i can't. my mind is racing and i'm thinking a million things at once and i realize i'm still running. i'm still running. i can't breathe. why am i running. walk. stop and walk. you need to breathe, why can't i breathe for the love legs, stop it. walk. why am i still running and just like that, i'm fine. it passes, and i'm breathing normally once again.

mile 12 gets us to Golden Gate Park and i look at my watch. holy crap. all that knee non-sense and i'm pretty close to target time.... how'd that happen?! SWEET!!! and i continue on my way.

my parents mentioned this would be the area they'd be waiting for me, so i lazily scan the crowd, thinking there's no way i'll actually see them, when "ALEJANDRA!!! ALE!!!" i see signs and arms and jumping... its my PARENTS. holy crap!!! i run towards them and high-five. and keep on running.... 2 minutes later i'm still getting over the fact that i saw them, and it hits me...i should have stopped. i wanted to stop. what if i dont see them again? i should have stopped. dammit. i was so blown away at having actually seen them, i forgot to enjoy the fact that they were there. i beat myself up about it as i passed the 13 mile marker.

half way. whew. okay. could i turn around and do what i've done so far?.... yeah. YEAH. i could. and the second half is easier. whoa... maybe i'll even have a negative split... now THAT would be sweet

the feeling of sweet lasted less than a mile. my knee started up again. and this time it was worse. much worse. and i started to worry. i pulled off to the side and squatted down, frog style. stretching out my knees like that felt amazing, though i knew the real problem was the ITband, and squatting was doing nothing for it. but without knowing what else to do, i continued running, and immediately a sharp pain shot up from the front of my right ankle. that tendon that pops up when you flex your foot... it hurt. with every step it strained, and my shin tightened and i was in serious pain.

all during this the bio-freeze wore off, and i was at a loss for what to do. i saw my parents again at mile 14 and this time was so consumed with the pain, i didn't know what to do. all i remember telling them was that it hurt. bad. and seeing my mom there made the tears just well up. i pulled off the road and tried to deal with the issue. more bio-freeze. down the length of my shin. my ankle. i was so frusterated. so disappointed. i wanted them to see me happy and running and strong. and i wasn't. and it sucked so i ran. i had to go. i didnt want them to see me like that....

Golden Gate Park was just cursed. leaving the park was the Full Marathoner's 16th mile, the Half Marathoner's 13th. i heard them call Fulls to the left, Halves to the right and thought seriously of pulling into the other lane ooooohhh. i could be done right now. i would love to be done right now. dang-it. why didn't i sign up for the half? and with that i veered left, down the course with the rest of the Full Length runners...

turning out of the park was like starting a new run. we turned onto the beach and ran along the coastlilne. it was foggy and grey, but beautiful. i realized on the other side of the divider was mile 23-26, and i looked over at all the speedy runners, so close to being finished and was in awe. holy mother. they're 8 miles ahead of me and still running. how are they doing that? no way!! and i picked up my pace. the knee was back to a dull pain, the ankle was no longer straining and the shin had loosened up. i long ago gave up looking at my watch, but in mile 18 my Coach caught up with me and informed me i'm on time for a 5 hour finish. which surprised the hell outta me, i'm not gunna lie!

"how ya feeling, how's the knee"... "it effing hurts. like an effer. and saying @$#% makes it feel a lot better.".. this of course amuses the ex-marine (thank God because i've got quite the mouth on me at times) so we run along for a while.... "have you walked at all"... "just one of the hills and all the water-stops"... "alright"..... and we run.... "where the EFF is the next water stop, i seriously need a break"... he laughs. this is pretty much all he did all weekend. laugh and shake his head every time i spoke. "i dont effing know" ... so he offers to stretch out my ITband before i head off for my last 8 miles.

sure! why not? stretching is good, right?!

WRONG. we pull over to the side, i lay on my back, and he stretches my hamstrings. then... my ITbands. i was screaming in pain. curses were flying outta my mouth and i started breathing as if i was going into labor. all the while... he laughed. so great you're getting such a kick outta this. if i had any energy to spare i would inflict enormous amounts of pain on you, you evil, evil man but when he was done i felt.... better.

hmm. ok. i forgive him... we walk it out a bit, he proclaims me ready to run, and then he's off to some other teammate.

ok. great. so now i just gotta run 8 more miles, right?! oooouugh. i officially am really sick of running right now. this is lame.... at mile 19 the course veers to the left, and i realize there's a lake in front of me. omg thats a lake. thats... thats a big lake. @%#$*! i'm going to have to run all the way around this, aren't i? is there... maybe there's a bridge? i dont remember there being a bridge but... surely there's a bridge, right? and at about this time i start to lose it. i pull over to stretch and flex my knees a bit more, and Headphones Girl runs up behind me. both her knees are taped, she's on the verge of tears, and i'm hit with oh sh*t... in our training runs... she's my rabbit. she's who i aspire to run with. if she's been behind me, she can't be doing well....

she reaches me and starts to cry. she's in pain. a lot. she's so tired. i don't know what to do. i offer bio-freeze, which she takes, and we run together for a bit. she stops to stretch, i go ahead. i stop to stretch, she passes me.... a few minutes later, i'm hit with a new pain. my left knee. every time i pick up my leg to step, theres a sharp pain in my knee... my bio-freeze is wearing off on my right leg, and suddenly the sharp pain from my left knee is matched with a sharp new pain in my right, and its too much.

i can't do this. i can't... i dont understand. i dont know this pain. this is new, i dont even know what to do. what its from. i need bio-freeze, where is it. i cant... i cant open it. GOD please dont do this, please i have to open it and i start to lose it. i'm shaking, and i'm freaking out, and i can't open the packet.... i finally stop and pull over and rub it all over both legs. i start to run again, and i can't.

NO. NOOOOO. stop it. stopitstopitstopit. why are You doing this to me? why? i've had this my entire run and i've dealt with it and You CANT DO THIS TO ME. i can't. God i'm so tired. please. please don't do this and i cry. i just cry. i'm running, limping, walking, crying... and i just want to quit.

and then i remember. Texas Boy. "don't be a quitter. you've put in all the training. you're ready for this. i'm proud of you. you can do this....i'm proud of you".... and its all i need. i clench my fists, and i grit my teeth... i'm NOT a quitter. dammit. i'm not. i'm doing this and i'm not quitting. and i manage to catch up to Headphones Girl. she's walking, so i take a walk break, and we decide at the next light we'll run again.

good. fine. thats reasonable. we hit the light and she takes off. i begin to run and BAMBAMBAM. sharp shooting pain. left knee. right knee. and now my hamstring.

You're kidding. right? You're not actually doing this? my HAMSTRING now? what do You want from me? and i get just pissed enough to keep going thru mile 22. but it doesnt last long and i begin to doubt myself. at some point, during all of this, i look down at my watch and see it turn from 5:08 to 5:09...

no. no, no,no,no. God please no. im so close. why? why are You doing this?? i can't. i'm so tired. i hurt...... it hurts, it just, hurts. i can't..... please dont do this to me. please. please make it stop, i just want to stop and i break-down all over again.

miles 19-23 i broke down and pushed thru, every half mile. or what seemed like every half mile. i questioned finishing in 5:30, 6:00...i questioned finishing at all.

finally mile 23-24 turns us back onto the beach for the final 3 miles. i'm done with the crying. now i just gotta suck it up and go.

what seems like every two steps, i pull over and squat down. its heaven for my knees, and seems to be what i need to make it thru. my quads burn as they've never burned before. i slow to walk, to give them a break, but walking is worse on the knees, somehow, so i continue to run.

24, 25, 26 miles come and the finish line is so far away. i'm angry. i'm so angry. i'm in pain and i don't understand. i worked so hard, for this? for what? to fall apart? i'm just so angry. and then relief. its the final stretch and they call out my name. i'm just a few steps away from the finish line and i see my parents. oh thank god and i run it in.

Posted by a.maria at 07:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

i got up, got dressed. vaseline and body glide. deodorant and more vaseline. pony tail holders. i-pod. gu. bio-freeze.

i was all set. running gear was on, i was ready.

what felt like an eternity later, after a final pep-talk from Coach in the Lobby, we made our way to the line up. it was 6am. race started at 7.... so for an hour i opened myself up to it all.

all the women huddled together, cheering and chanting for their city and team. husbands lining the sidewalks with signs saying GO MOM and YOU CAN DO IT. little kids climbing light poles....big kids climbing light poles. video cameras, head-sets. and running shoes. we were out there so long, waiting in our corral, that at one point Stripe Shirt, Tall Blonde and i sat down, just amongst all the women. and i looked around and for some reason, whatever it was.... all the shoes just spoke to me. all the feet of all the women about to do this thing... this marathon. and i smiled. i soaked it up and felt calm.

eventually, it was time. 5, 4, 3...2.......1. and a surge of the feeling you get, just the feeling... you know what i mean, and it was awesome. SS TB and i were in the 12:00 group so as to start out slowly, so for 10 minutes we cheered on our fellow runners as they headed out onto the course. slowly we made our way to the start, and at 7:10 we crossed the line.

Posted by a.maria at 06:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

nuts right?!

ok. i have zero time to post the race-report, but i wanted to let those of you that didnt already look it up know.....

my official time: 5:32:48

not too bad for a newbie like me, eh?!

so. as far as photos and all go, nike doesn't have any up. but i do have this one (below)...

my first post-marathon french fry..... i have been sans fries since the say i signed up for the marathon. i was giddy with excitement (as you can tell) as i drank the sweet nectar that is coca cola classic and ate pure joy, in its delicious food-form.

race report will be up tonight! thank you so much, all of you, for your support. i cried when i read all the comments and emails from my friends and RBFamily. you all kept me going in my worst moments.. there are no words for my appreciation. thank you thank you and thank you.

Posted by a.maria at 07:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (47) | TrackBacks (0)

packing is in full swing, and i even have dinner/Alias plans with a friend. (cuz lordy knows on my own what kinda mess i'd get into tonight!)

i just wanted to wish everyone a great weekend... especially Birthday Boy

so. i guess i'll see ya on the flip side!

(and breathe.......)

Posted by a.maria at 03:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (24) | TrackBacks (0)

after much deliberation, and lectures from Army Runner Guy and the like.... i have decided not to be a moron (galactic or otherwise, wink wink) and so i will NOT be running the M with shoe inserts.

somehow testing them out over a 5 hour/26.2 mile run just doesnt seem to be the brightest of ideas.

i am currently icing the knee, i've taken some meds, and... all is well. i had a little chat last night with Texas Boy, and as he oh-so-eloquently put it.... no excuses. just run it and suck it up. no excuses.

so. no excuses!! i'm running it, as best as i can, and thats the end of it.

currently there is no pain. i've become a believer in the "its all mental" theory because thats just so me, ya know? so. thats the deal with the knee.

to sum up:
it doesnt hurt.
i'm not wearing inserts.
i have bio-freeze coming outta the ying-yang for if it acts up in the M. (and ibuprofen!! all for you momma-Jeanne!)
i'm not using this as an excuse to wimp out.

also:
i havent packed.
i need to buy gu.
i need to charge my i-pod.
i need to not forget my Garmin here at work.
i need a disposable camera for the M.
i need to cut a hole in a garbage bag to stay warm at the line-up.
i need to figure out how to tape the pace-band and get it on my wrist.
i need new ponytail holders.

bahhh.
i seem so unorganized. i know. but i'm not. this is just how i operate. trust me! (my mom reading this is probably freaking out. mom. i've got it under control, okay?! i do. really!!)

ok. i'm sure i'll post a few more times before i leave (because i'm obsessive like that) but for now...thats all i got!

Posted by a.maria at 09:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

so. being the mixture of dummy and smarty-pants that i am, i decided now would be a good time to take another look at the Course Map for the race.

first, i checked out chicago's (actually i did this by accident...) but....

i found THIS:

see how flat the Altitude map is?? like we're talkin' F-L-A-T. and i'd never looked at this before. so i thought maybe the altitude map for chicago was just...not working. so i asked Chicago Boy (who grew up in chicago, worked in Wrigleyville, also know as Lake View)... anyway, i asked him if chicago is really that flat, and yeah. yeah, it is.

m'kay. alrighty then. shoulda signed up for chicago, but whatever. lets go check out the altitude/pace for San Francisco.

oookay, so i do that, and i find THIS:

uhhhhhhhmmm??!!!!

so yeah. there are gunna be a few hills. and i knew this. i've known about this. i just haven't looked at it in a really long time. and i'd never compared it to another city. so after seeing chicago's topography, and then san franciscos?! bit of a shock... and not in a good way.

but actually though. we're gunna take a look at this here for a second.... the beginning is relatively flat. hell the BEGINNING beginning is downhill... so just that right there is a bonus. cuz who doesn't love a downhill, right?! so then... we've got two full miles of flatness...cool, a little up, a little down at mile 4, at which point i'll just finally be "getting into the groove" cuz it takes me a good 3 miles to get used to running... then 5 and 6 are flat... and then...
then.. ya see that really steep line in mile 7? followed by up down up down uuuup...dooooown. ok so thats mile 7 - 16. 16 is that big down hill.

so okay. 16 miles and i'll still be feeling pretty good... i like hills for the challenge they give to new and fun parts of my arse, because after you run up/down/up/down for a while, and then you get to a flat...its like smooth sailin' baby! ain't no thang.

so mile 19 is that kinda quick up...then a bit of flat, some down/up at mile 22/23/24... see that last bump. thats mile 24... and then... then 2.2 miles of down down down/flat.

so okay?! okay right? thats... thats fine, right?! i wont kill myself on the hills too bad, cuz... well, i just wont. because i'm not a masochist, or...ya know...sadist, who enjoys that kind of pain, but thats fine. because i'll be that less tired in the end, when its all kinda flat and downhill-ish.

so okay!! yeah. this is.. this is good. great. its fine... fine!!

so now that that's taken care of, we can move on to..... pace!

let me just say that Running Chick is my running hero(one of...cuz so are pretty much all of you!) because she introduced me to...PaceBands!!! yipee!!! and so i used her divine little pace calculator lil guy , and so now i have....

THIS:!! which will keep me on track for my 5 hour 'thon!!! hoorah for pace bands!

so okay, so see? everything is wonderful and right with the world and... despite the hills, this marathon is STILL gunna rock!
(see how i just bounce back like that?! yeah. bit of a rollercoaster, but dang if it ain't just so much fun!) hehe.

Posted by a.maria at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

ok. picture me, your favorite runner chick (heh!!) doing a little dance.

a little happy dance.

goes something like this... shake your bootie, wiggle your hips, throw your arms around like a crazy person.......(or okay. picture elaine from seinfeld, apparently i dance like her?!)

ANYWAY. why the happy?

cuz i went to The Sports Medicine Store/Metro Run & Walk, and they ROCK. they're THE place to go in KC to have your gait analyzed, etc...

anyway i went up there and was like hiya. i think i have an IT problem and i think i need a brace. so the dude rubbed my knee (side of my knee) and was like uh-huh. so you have pain here? NOPE. i have pain HERE (pointed to the right of my kneecap)... and he goes "hmm... well. thats not your IT band"

WHAAAA???!!! so he had me stand barefoot infront of him, took one look at my (gorgeous, wink wink) feet and said "wow. you've got really flat feet. thats your problem"....

mm-hmm? okay. 'splain please. which he did.... (you're at the edge of your seat, you just gotta know, right?!) well, apparently, b/c of this flat-footedness problem, my knee(cap) alignment is probably off, and its causing the knee to fall off track (a bit) when i run, therefore the knee cap (or some other part of the knee that he said that i dont remember) is hitting some...um... fluid filled thing (???? i need to take a human anatomy class) and thus........the pain!

he thinks inserts will fix me. $50.00 inserts, but inserts none-the-less. and ice. and ibuprofen.

so i bought a "look at me i'm such an athlete" special super-duper knee wrappy icer thing (yes. i get excited about the little things) and i'm going back today to have them fit the inserts to my shoes!

OH, and he gave me a ton of free bio-freeze packets for the 'thon!!!

y'all i am going to ROCK THIS MARATHON like it ain't never been rocked before! so thanks for the kind words (those of you that had kind words) and the support (those of you that supported) and the advice about the cortisone (those of you that advised).....

but never fear. your favorite runner chick is in, and will continue to be in, top form and will have exactly zero "issues" going into the 'thon.

yeah. cuz thats how I roll!!!

Posted by a.maria at 06:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

My marathon is 5 days away. but it might as well be tomorrow for all the excitement and nerves and fear and awe that it is stirring up in me.

I began this...this journey, as its turned out to be... May 12th, with a two mile run around the golf course here on Fort Leavenworth.

it was horrid. it was painful. i couldnt breathe, i couldn't run for more than 5 minutes without needing to take a break.... a long break. i walked up and down "the two hills", and ran to the corner. and had to stop. i braced myself against a tree and looked down the course that i knew i had to finish, and thought to myself, "what the hell am i doing? i'm no runner. i'm not even in good shape? this is the stupidest idea i have ever had"... and i walked the rest of the way back to the gym.

for the next 3 weeks, every run was a battle. it wasn't just mind over matter, an "i dont want to do this" type of thing, it was an "i CANT DO THIS" thing, and everyday i wondered how on earth i was going to finish 26.2 miles. "i'm so stupid. this is so stupid" was my daily mantra.

but i pressed on. i didnt have much of a choice. i could keep going, or i could quit. and what have i ever quit? nothing. and i'll be damned to let this thing beat me. so i ran. or rather, i walked. with running spurts every now and then.

weekend runs started with "4 easy miles", as coach would often say. "easy". right. if i remember correctly (and oh, i do) there was some #$%&*@ and some @#&*#^ but 50 minutes later, i was done. i didnt set any records, but i did it. and it felt really good to be done.

our weekly mileage started piling up, our "easy 4 miles" turned into 6, then 8, then 10, and every week i thought to myself, "how am i going to run 10 whole miles"....?! but i did it. and every week was a new milestone. a new PR. something else to add to my list of things i never thought i'd be able to do.

and just like that, i found myself in the midst of training for a marathon, and all the things that go along with that.

i found myself, once we hit 12, 14, 16 miles, saying, "oh, its a short week, we only have to do 8 this weekend" when someone asked about my running. "only 8" i'd say. as if it were nothing.

and it was never nothing. 8 became my nemesis. i never had a good 8 mile run. but it was also still, "just 8", and i'll never forget hearing myself say that for the first time.

"just eight".

at some point, in the middle of all this, i started to change. both mentally and physically. i looked in the mirror and there was this woman staring back at me. this woman that does it. she does it. not for her parents, not for her friends, she does it for herself. not to become someone she wants to be, but to BE someone she ALREADY IS.

i look in the mirror and i'm not that pudgy fat girl they used to make fun of. i dont have to pretend to laugh at myself to keep the other kids from laughing at me. i'm me. and i'm finally okay with that.

somewhere, in my 18, 20, 22 mile runs, i not only broke down, but i re-built. 4 hours of running will kind of do that to you.

and then two weeks ago, i became a runner. it was a short week. the beginning of "the taper". eight miles. and it was cold, and i was almost an hour late to the run, and it was 7 am and ough. more running.... but at mile 4, i didnt want to turn back. it felt too good. and so i kept going. 5, 6...8, 9, 10 miles.

10 miles. 2 of which i did just because i wanted to. because the cold crisp air, the morning light, the leaves under my feet... they didnt want to let go of me, and i just couldnt pull myself away from them.

so now i sit here, 5 days away, and i can't seem to seperate one emotion from another. i will cross that starting line as a person who has trained, and strained, and clawed her way thru mental and physical agony to arrive just as i am. ready.

ready to run a marathon. i knew what i signed up for, those 6 months ago. in my head, i knew it. but i never knew it'd feel like this. and after the agony of almost 6 months of training. of running. of eating more pasta than...well, than i probably need to... of drinking gallons of water and saying "nope, i can't, i gotta run tomorrow" every friday..let me repeat that, every friday.... its finally here. and as much as i feel like i should be worried, as much as i've tried to psyche myself out, i can't. i'm not.

i'm gunna do this thing. i will cross that finish line and i will become a marathoner. and this journey, i have a feeling, will have only just begun.

Posted by a.maria at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (22) | TrackBacks (0)

"...it's only pain and it's only suffering. It's not going to kill you. And if it's not going to kill you, what's the big deal?"

not running is not an option.

so... suck it up and run. its only pain and its not going to kill me. i'll do it because i have to. end of story. i'm not this whiney "ouch it hurts" obnoxious girly-girl. thats not me. so enough already.

ENOUGH. we are done with the knee stuff. i'm over it.
(as she pops a few ibuprofen!!...ha. kidding....wait a minute, no i'm not....!)

so, some other business to attend to... i've been tagged!

here are the rules...
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or the closest one to it)
4. Post the text of your sentence in your blog along with these rules.
5. Tag five other people.

Post 23: to my non-running friends

sentence 5: "hmm.. its 7am. this time tomorrow i'll be somewhere between my 5th and 6th mile. its stinkin hot out. awesome"..

okay. now to tag 5 others...how about Stephanie, Josh, Viper, Ali and Jeanne !! consider yourselves tagged... you're it!

Posted by a.maria at 08:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

a big problem. a problem in the form of possible/probably injury... a week before my MARATHON. a possible knee/head screw up that could side-line me...indefinitely.

(ok thats being a bit dramatic, but i've been mulling over this all day. we're at catastrophe level here folks)

woke up this morning feeling fine. actually kinda feeling like i didnt want to go on the group run and felt as though running tomorrow morning would be a better idea, but for sentiment's sake, i went to our last group run, for our last 8 miler, on our last saturday before our M.

Tall Blonde and i started out together, running and talking, at a pace just fast enough that i could still talk, but... was breathing kinda harder than i'd like?! so at a little after 2 miles i had her go on w/o me, strapped on the headphones and ran at my own speed. (still havent quite conquered the running partner thing!! 5 months later.... sheesh. anyway. not the point!) i ran to the water stop, little after 3 miles, and downed my one GU for the run.

kinda a little too fast. felt very heavy in my stomach, but...meh. its 8 miles. i'll be fine.

so i keep running, and eventually catch up with Tall Blonde at 4.04 miles.

at this point i look at my watch and i'm like DAMN!!! 4.04 miles. 41 minutes. i'm thinking...sweet. 5 hour marathon is looking good!! i might actually pull this off!! so we start talking again, and all of a sudden i'm hit with a side-cramp. holy bejeesus this hurts...this is... wow. so i pull of the trail, she goes on ahead, cuz i'm like its a side cramp. it'll pass?! and i start doing some deep breathing nose/mouth stuff while bent over cradling my side in pain. everyone that passes me is like "OMG ARE YOU OKAY???!!"... i must've really looked awful.

anyway, at some point i remember having been told that the best thing to do for a side cramp is run thru it.

YEAH. well whoever told me THAT was smokin' somethin' cuz i was cursing them in pain. running thru the cramp was just soooo not an option. went like this... walk....think i'm better....run....YOWCH. #$%&@. walk....think i'm better...run...YOWZA. #@#$$#%. walk....run.... HOLY$#@%^. screw it. i'm walking. so i walk the half mile to the water stop, take a breather, chat with coach and just kinda chill for a bit.

as we're standing there, this chick comes up, looking like death. "wow, are you okay?"..."no"..."what's wrong"..."my knee. i dont know what happened. its never hurt before".... so i'm like ooookay. think i'll let coach handle this one...and i'm off.
and i'm feeling great. no more side cramp, i'm still trotting along at my super-human 10 minute/mile speed (which i still am just so excited about)....and....what happens?!

what happens?! my KNEEEEEEEE starts HURTINGGGGG. and huh. ITS NEVER HURT BEFORE!!!!!!

but i'm like okay...okay... just walk a second, run thru it, its a glitch...its...its nothing. not a big deal. one of those minor like "whoa that hurts...okay its better now" things.... so i run...and kinda hop...and kinda yelp out in pain. and decide nope. this is not happening, and walk the 3 miles back.

by the time i'm back to the start/finish point, i'm almost in tears. my knee. its bad. its make me want to cry bad. i have one week. ONE. WEEK. what am i going to do? what if i can't run? what if i somehow injured the crap out of it and i can't run? what am i going to do, dear God what am i going to do?

so i find coach, and i'm like HELP!!!! and he's used to be my now, so he kind of chuckles and is like alright. what's up. and i'm like MY KNEE!!! MY KNEE!!! IT HURTS!!! IT HURTS!! and i point to it.... and he's like ahhh. thats your IT BAND.

and i'm no dummy. i know what that means. that means running death. and i'm like ooh no. nononono. what to do. what to dooooo. and i'm like so. uh... whats that mean? and he explains to me that it starts in my lower back and goes down my outter quad and to my knee (or at least thats what i got out of it) and thats probably where the pain is coming from.... he tells me to stretch it, and to just do the bike or elliptical this week, not to run, but that..... a lot of its probably mental.

and i'm like wha?? so he informs me that every week before a marathon he has people coming up to him telling him that they have a new pain they've never felt before... and a lot of it, "most" of it is mental. so i'm like well, ya know...i thought of that (cuz i did)...but then i walked down a hill, and it made me want to take a knife to my leg.... so i'm pretty sure i'm not making it up. and he's like no, no...it doesnt feel mental. but i think you'll be fine. just stretch it, blah blah...

so i'm like ok. sure. trust the coach. if i've learned anything, its to trust the coach. i come home, take a nap, wake up and...

its not better. i took a nap so that it would fix itself. i'd wake up and not be mental anymore and it'd be fine. dammit. so but i gotta go to the store, i can't deal with this now..i'll put it outta my mind and forget about it and it'll go away.

i try to walk down the stairs and practically take a tumble by the sheer shock of SHARP SHOOTING PAIN in my knee. #$%&@!

so my entire day has pretty much revolved around this new found pain that started oh-so-suddenly after hearing about some other girl that had a knee problem.... and then, at the game (KU vs. OU and yes. we lost.) my uh...my lower back and outter quad started hurting.

hmm. go figure.

so now, i dunno. i'm at a loss for what to do. stretching it feels great. superb. but it doesnt fix it. i have no idea if ice is good now, or heat. going down in any way...stairs, hill, lowering myself from truck... horrid pain. my friends all think i'm a major drama queen and "you'll be fine, you run like 90 miles a day, don't worry about it"...

oh yeah thanks guys. this isnt one of the most important things in my LIFE. i havent just spent the last FIVE MONTHS dedicating myself to crossing that finish line. i dont NEED MY KNEES TO RUN or anything.

i want to pull my hair out i'm so frustrated. and i'm quickly coming to the conclusion that my coach is a quack.

so... am i mental?! is this going to be fine?! or did i mysteriously get severe IT problems in the span of a half mile? cuz i am freaking over here. like normal, everyday "i'm freaking out" type of freakage is like a 4 on a scale of one to ten. currently, i'm at a solid 8, and it's looking to get worse by the hour. at this rate i'll be renting a wheelchair by the end of the weekend.

i so should have skipped that run. i knew it!!

Posted by a.maria at 08:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

and here it is. and yep. i'm freaking out.

nine days. and really, lets be honest... its 6pm, today is winding down, so... 8 days. and then? its Friday. my work is a MESS (small thing... the outlet my computer is plugged into started smoking today. fire dept. came in and informed us that... i'm illegal. all of my wiring is illegal. then they took a look around the rest of the office...we're all illegal. goodie. so.... we're rearranging desks like its our JOB...which, actually, it is.... so, its a mess, and?? basically i called attention to the entire thing. why does this stuff only happen to me? there were firemen crawling around on hands and knees around my desk today. not that i didn't enjoy that, cuz come on... thats amusing...but seriously. who else does this stuff happen to?! oy...) meaning tomorrow is going to go really quickly. then its off to celebrate Carpool Guy's birthday, so basically... 7 days. but then saturday is the big KU vs. OU game at arrowhead. we're tailgating at 3, game's at 6... thats a whole day gone right there. 6 days. sunday i'll probably be recovering from all the partying/doing laundry, so really? REALLY?

5 days.

i know its warped, but its how my mind works.

for all intents and purposes, really...my marathon is, like, the day after TOMORROW... its just, ya know. tomorrow is a few days long.

do you see? do you see what its doing to me? i'm completely losing my mind... er. whats left of it to lose, and its still 9 (5) days away! can you even imagine what i'll be like this time NEXT WEEK.

ohmygod i can't even think about it without getting pukey. i think i felt something weird in my right ankle. and i might be coming down with a cold. i might also be delusional, thats always a possiblity for me, but mostly? i think i'm losin' it guys. really.

so how am i coping? oh, ya know, my usual MO.... ignoring it completely.
yeah. so far so good, outside of that whole pukey thing.

but for now, i say... Marathon? what marathon?! and silently bang my head against the wall.

Posted by a.maria at 03:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

um, can we say holy fast batman?! i think so!!!

10:30am today, i go out for my run. its 60-ish, maybe, with mega cloud coverage that hints at rain... so basically...its perfect outside. so. i run. literally within 30 seconds of my run i'm like huh. this is weird. i'm not.... tired. ??

i'm not breathing hard. my legs don't hurt. i dont want to stop yet. for the first few minutes of my run??? this can't be right, but....ooooookay. i guess i'll just... go with it?? i've gotta get tired here in a minute, right?!

uh, no. in fact, i proceed to speed up. uncontrollably. SERIOUSLY. i was like whoaaaaa, what is there a rocket attached to my a**... WHAT is going on??? i tried, i TRIED to slow down, and couldnt.. i was a blur. zooooooom. i'm not entirely sure, but i kinda think i mighta broken the sound barrier.

but i'm not looking at my watch. i refuse. i really really want to, but i'm like, NO. wait till you get to the mile mark. which, since i'm going REALLY UNCONTROLLABLY FAST, comes rather quickly.

**beep beep beep** Mile Distance Alert.

i URRRRRCH to a hault, hit the timer and look at my time.

1.03 miles 9:04

um. WHAT???????????????????????????????

and then.... oooouuuuggghhhh. i think i'm gunna hurl. yeah i'm pretty sure i'm on the verge of spewing everywhere. omg. wtf. my shins. oooooooh my shins. i cant move my legs. oh i gotta sit down. breathe a.maria, breathe.

so i sit. for like, 5 minutes, and i do evetything in my power not to hurl. eventually i catch my breath, and i'm like okay. perhaps i'll walk back now. i think i'm on the verge of death. (9:oo mile? hello. i DO NOT RUN THAT FAST people. i was freaking out!)

but i didnt walk. i ran. again. fast. and when i was done? yeah. that pukey feeling stayed with me for quite a while.

apparently, my motto today??

haul ass like a donkey truck. and GO!

Posted by a.maria at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

BEST.

and it all started with, of course..... the best run ever. of my life. no, no. i exaggerate not. my best. run. ever.

why? oh..you wanna know why?! will i tell you please oh please?!

mmmmm. okay!!!

it all started (once upon a time) on friday night. ya know how sometimes you just know that yumminess in all its forms is headed in your direction?? and you know, you can feel the page turning to a new chapter (ya know. the page. of your life. in a book? its a metaphor.. i'm a bit hung-over. just roll with it...)

thats the feeling i had. i went to bed, after a delicious meal at a delicious restaurant, with one of my best friends and my cousin once removed (??? not sure. my grandma's sister's son and his wife. whatever that makes them to me...) and i dunno. it was just very "ahhhhhh" feeling. like, not the food, not the company (though both were divine) but just.. just this feeling. i've been so outta whack lately, like somethings just not quite been right, and i just got this feeling friday night that was like, okay. page. flip. new chapter. ready, set, go.

so i woke up saturday morning, and besides the fact that it was cuh-cuh-cold out (mid-30's) i was so ready to run. me, my music, my legs. let's do it. and by, what i've decided, was divine intervention... i was 45 minutes late to the run. i thought we were running at 7, turns out we were running at 6, so... i was late. which meant that i was running alone. which just, i dunno... fit perfectly, ya know? not that i dont like our big group runs, cuz i do, but i was glad not to have to deal with everyone. i could just go off in my own little yumminess world, and clear my brain out for a while. sort some things out. get lost, choose a new path, double back 3 times because i dont know where i'm going, and just run.

(and yes. thats me letting you know i got very lost on my little single-person run.) and thats what i did. i just ran. and ran. and ran. and at the turn-around point, decided screw 8 miles. lets do 10. so i ran some more. i felt lighter. i ran faster. i was in the zone... i mean hell. whatever it was, it was amazing. it was a good start to the new chapter type of a run. and when i finished, i checked out my time and....

10 miles. 1:48:06 avg. pace of 10:59

making this my fastest/longest run ever. yeah ok. start the chapter with a new PR? i can handle that. (fastest/longest? i just mean, ya know.... i maintained an 11 minute mile for 10 miles... i've never maintained that fast of a pace for so long before.... i dunno. for me, thats nuts. i got pretty excited!)

*********************************
*********************************

okay. um. craziness abounds. i wrote the above earlier today (1:30) and was interrupted by a phone-call, and i'm just now (10pm) coming back, and hello. yumminess??? its everywhere.

lemme break it down for ya.

friday...on a whim, i bought a new couch, chair & ottoman. love it. (will love it. it'll be delivered in a month..)

why a month? because saturday afternoon i went to look at apartments in my buddie's building. they had none (that i liked). but the tour-guy liked me (score) so he called his apartment complex down the street and found out they have basically exactly what i'm looking for, same price, they had a showing in half an hour and... badda-bing, badda-boom. a.maria's got a new aparment. LOFT, rather. and its going to be perfect.

then. (then?? oh yeah... i'm no where near done here kids...) i went dress shopping (for a wedding i'm quasi-in) and found the most perfect shoes to match my dress (i'd been sweating over it, cuz of color, blah blah. they're new shoes. 'nuff said) and. and i've gone down a dress size folks. hallllllllelujah!!!

more? yup...
its saturday night. Dancer Girl is in from Lawrence, and i never get to see her so.... party time. we go to bar, have a stellar time.... i wake up at friends place this morning and.... i have a boy's number in my phone?? i make some calls, we go to breakfast and.... who is this boy? nobody knows. we think it's gotta be Triathlon Guy (this guy a friend introduced me to), but really, we dont know (there was a lot of alcohol involved last night. parts of the night are very blurry) but meh. whatever. i'm not calling some random guy's number, so, whatever..

yumminess weekend with a boy's number to boot, that's gotta be it, right? done?
not done.

you know how i said i got interrupted by a phone call? mystery guy calls ME. we talk. we meet up, and i won't bore you with details, but i will say... the page has been flipped, and this new chapter is gunna be gooo-oood.

Posted by a.maria at 10:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

ok. so i'm putting together this thing.... and i need to create a logo for it.

this is what i've come up with, thus far (above)... what its for isn't really important.. poster. book. logo... its a mark. it represents the marathon. for me, it represents the life change this marathon has come to mean to me... this thing i'm putting together... its complicated. but its important. at least for me. so i dont want to just throw something together for the logo/mark... i want something... i dunno... a visual representation of the mileage....

i still have a lot of sketching to do, but i thought i'd throw these out and get some comments from the only people in my life that actually understand the importance of this number!!

so, lemme know thoughts. i'm a designer, so i'm used to being critiqued!! let'er rip.

Posted by a.maria at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (21) | TrackBacks (0)

so tuesday i went to the office where i can pick up my tags, told my boss i'd be late, etc... and.... they weren't open. why? because the expired tag gods hate me.

so fine. whatever. i'll do it saturday.

so all week this week i've been driving with expired tags, but i've been doing the speed limit, etc.. making sure not to do anything that would get me pulled over. today, coming onto post, some reject front guard rent-a-cop guy decides to be a #$%& and wont let me on post b/c my tags are expired. (even though i've been let on post EVERYDAY THIS WEEK). so i pull into the parking lot and 3 more rent-a-cops come and its a rent-a-cop field day, because they live for this kind of sh*t, and ooooh, lookie, we get to be all important and feel powerful and manly. boogie for them.

so i explain to them that i live in KC MO but i work in KS (45 minute drive) and that i've been outta town but here are all my papers (i hand them over)...i'm like i already got the inspection and the fuel emissions test and everything done, its just a matter of going and picking them up. so the one cool rent-a-cop is like ok. blah blah.... and i'm thinkin' sweet. no big deal....

two minutes later (or 10. i have no concept of time, but i do know this whole ordeal took A HALF HOUR. lame) some other rent-a-cop pulls up behind me (behind me in the parking lot, like RIGHT UP on my car's ass... because i'm going to throw my car into reverse and try to escape? oy.) and, apparently, he's the rent-a-cop leader. oooh. look out.

so he sits in his car, and goes thru my papers for a good 10 minutes, though what takes 10 minutes to look thru 4 pieces of paper, i dont know.... so i'm sitting in my car and i'm just like hello?? job? i have a job i'd like to get to? so he strolls up to my car, and says

"ma'am. would you like to explain to me what happened with your tags"
???? is he serious? what happened to them? nothing happened to them? i'm like uhhhhh??? okayyyy.. ???
"uhh. sure..i dont have them?"
"and why not"
oh stop talking to me like you're my father and i'm 6 years old and i just broke a glass in the living room. i hate when "authority figures" (puh-leese) talk down to me just because i look like i'm 17... ugh. annoying....
"well, i'm getting them on saturday"
"well, ma'am, they've been expired for an entire month"

no they havent. today is the 6th, you friggin moron, which means, ok, lets do some math here, that theyve been expired for...........SIX DAYS.
"uh-huh. okay"
"well, why haven't you gotten them yet"
why does it MAT-TER. i hate you i hate you i hate you
"well, sir, i've been out of town and have been busy, and the one day i tried to get them, the office was closed, so..... ya know... i've been busy"
"well, you've had an entire month to do this"
no i haven't. get off the month thing. you are a huge ape of a reject. go away.
"uh-huh. right...." what the hell else am i supposed to say? its all i can do not to go off on this rent-a-cop-oh-i'm-so-important-look-at-me-i-have-so-much-power loser.

so he walks back to his car, says something i'm sure is just oh-so-clever to the other rent-a-cops (because, ya know, me and my honda civic, we might try and bust outta there all stealth like, so ya better get 4 or 5 more rent-a-cops to surround my car. ohmygodlame.) and they all have a good chuckle, glancing back at me in my car, and Lardo the rent-a-cop gets back in his car and, but of course, writes me a ticket.

for $75.00.

i hate today. i hate rent-a-cops and i hate expired tags.

today's run is going to be good.

Posted by a.maria at 06:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBacks (0)

!!
so alrighty then. moving on.....

little rundown on the various issues i'm currently dealing with. feel free to comment (and please do) on anything you might have ideas about...

1. the hamstring is gunna be a problem. coach sent me to get a massage, which i did, today at noon, and i'm stretching and... yeah. somehow i dont think its going to be 100% for the marathon. so there's that.

2. 22 miles kicked my butt. i ran, maybe, the slowest i've ever run.....ever. and i'm so not ok with that.

3. the taper has begun, and my first post-22-mile-run is tomorrow a.m. and i can already tell i'm gunna be tempted to run more than my 3 allotted miles.
(the taper schedule is 3 tuesday which i skipped for the massage today, but will do tomorrow...3 thursday, 8 saturday. same thing until marathon weekend.)

4. my diet is figggggged. besides really never having known what i should be eating..... (perhaps i should have asked this earlier... like. yeah. i'm thinkin so.) the last few weeks have just been a mess when it comes to food, i've been gaining weight, its been ugly.... and...so.... yeah. i ask you, what am i supposed to be eating?????!?!? (i so should have asked this sooner)

5. and maybe how MUCH should i be eating.

6. ive looked at a ton of various blogs, and a lot of them have food journal type things...and... what are thoughts on this? i'd like to make this winter's goal to be losing 10ish pounds and i need a game plan. i suck at game plans.

7. i tried swimming yesterday. i didn't drown. and thats about the only highlight of the event. so, for a newbie swimmer, any advice?!

8. and last but not least.... is it normal to already be having "arrived at the starting line naked" type dreams about the marathon? cuz yeah. whatever weird things happen to me in my waking life.... man my dreams are even WEIRDER.

whewwww okay. i think that about covers it. sorry. M is 18 days away. i'm, ya know.... just getting a little.... ya know.
yeah.

Posted by a.maria at 05:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBacks (0)

i have a disease. a for real there's a medical term for this-its quite possible i might die-most definitely froth at the mouth-might go into convulsions-what is wrong with my arm disease.

it all started saturday. saturday and that damn 22 mile run that beat me to a bloody (minus the blood) pulp. ooooh, rue the day, rue it. RUE!

after my (very long stupid ridiculous horrible) run i sat on the curb and stretched/hydrated/made very pathetic attempts to recover from said run. i was covered in dried salty sweat and i was disgusting. but i was cold. for whatever reason it was actually getting colder as the sun was getting higher, so whatever... but i had goosebumps. i ran my hand over my arms and.... bum-bu-buh-buh-bump.

wha'the?? .. why is my arm so bumpy?? i glance down at the tricepty area of my left arm and WHAT IS THAT????!?!?!

all these little bumps/bubbles. just in a patch. just... just there. hi, nice to meet you. we're bubbles and we've taken up residence here on your arm. hope you dont mind!!! (thats what i imagined them saying to me... i had just finished a 22 mile run. i was delirious) so i mini-freaked and start going "umm..yeahh.... what...what is this?? hello? anyone? coach...what? what is this??? what IS this??????" he laughs and is like bahh. i dunno. dried sweat? no big deal, wipe it off... (stupid males never think anything is as big of a deal as it is)... so i use my nails and kinda just...scrape 'em off. the bubbles. the little bubbles on my arm that were bumpy. i just scraped them off. no big deal. just scrape them off. right. ok. done. bye bubbles.

never gave them a second thought.

then today i went for a swim at my friends apartment and then hung out in the hot tub for a while and whatever. fine. went back to his apartment, made some very super unbelievably healthy dinner (chmmpizzamm...shhhhh) and watched tv for a while. it got cold..... i got goosebumps....

OHMYGOD THE BUBBLES ARE BACK. they're back.... Chicago Boyyyyyyyyyyy ew ew ew ew ew ewwwww what is this. look at this. feel my arm, do you feel that? what is that? WHAT IS THAT???!?!?!!

uhhh. eww. i dunno. ::laugh laugh laugh:: as i'm sitting here in distress about the state of the tricepty part of my left arm, he laughs. ACK. great friend. hope its not contagious...herrr-herrrr. funny. he's a funny guy.

so i do what anyone in my situation would do.... google it. with the very scientific description of... "skin bubbles".

ya know what? bing bing bing... we have a winner. click on google's answer and ta-daaa. someone else with the very same problem. there's even a picture (which... ew. EWEWEWEWEWEWEW. thats what my arm looks like. in one patch. but the bubbles are way closer together...concentrated in a business card sized patch. EWEWEWEWEWEWEW) so i read... and find out.... its a disease.

its a disease..... says so right here:
.....While miliaria most frequently occurs in infants, it can also occur in
adults, especially obese adults. The condition is brought on by high
heat and humidity that cause excessive sweating, and can be
exacerbated by tight-fitting clothing and exercise. It is also seen in
adults who move from a dry climate to a hot and humid climate.

did you read that? "exacerbated"...."excessive sweating"...."tight-fitting clothing"...."obese"...

omg. am i an excessively sweaty obese adult?! OH MY GOD I'M AN EXCESSIVELY SWEATY OBESE ADULT!!!!!

oh lordy. why. why oh why must i have an excessively sweaty obese adult disease?

wanna know what its called? Miliaria crystalline.

it even sounds deadly. i'm a goner for sure.

Posted by a.maria at 08:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

so hi. my name is alejandra and i run into things in the dark. awesome. nice to meet ya.

what? with my car? going 50 mph? on a one lane highway?

no.

with my body, going appx'ly 11:35 minutes/mile, on a running trail.

mmmmm-hmm. i am that good.

so but okay. the story...

i arrived at Roma Coffee House (the TNT meeting point for the feared 22 mile run) at about 5:45 am. we began running at about 6:10 am. unbeknownst to my coach, apparently, IT WAS DARK. i'm not talking huh, its kinda dark out, i'm talking I CANT SEE THE TRAIL INFRONT OF ME dark. like.... dark. cuz hi. its fall now, and the days are shorter and.... ITS DARK!!!!!! apparently nobody felt like pointing this rather obvious fact out to our coach, so we all just started running... because we're robots and do things like run 22 miles at 6 in the morning, because our coach has decided this is a good idea.... obviously we're not functioning at full capacity.

but, regardless, on we went. along the street, onto the trail, into the woods....
yes, you read that right, we ran through the woods in the dark. are you seeing where this is going?! mmmm-hmm.
so we're running along, and i've made a command decision to RUN VERY SLOW for the first 8ish miles so that i dont bonk at the end, so i'm totally plodding along at a ridiculous pace and people are passing me left and right (and boy does that just do wonders for the spirit!!!!)... anyway, so i can kinda see people in front of me, and i hear people behind me, but for the most part, i'm having to navigate this course on my own and i can't see and its just a ridiculous situation. there's mud or leaves or something on the trail, acorns everywhere, so every 5 minutes i'm having to react to getting one (or nine) of those under my feet, its a very windy course, etc etc.... all this dictating that i stare, HARD, at the trail, cuz i do not want a twisted ankle.

and this would have been a great plan, this staring at the ground/my feet plan, if it weren't for one thing.

trees.

it went something like this...

run. run. oooh, i think the path veers right. run. stare at trail. search for acorns. and puddles. veer left $#%&@*! ouch what the, ou#$%^ sh#$%^ get off #$%*& omg what was that? did i just.... did i.... omg did i just run into a tree?

a tree ?? how is that possible? who am i??

the answer? yes. yes i did. and it were'nt purty. but i glanced infront/behind me...nobody saw... so i just took a quick laugh-hysterically at myself break, turned back onto the trail and kept on runnin...

turns out (because i had to run past it several times in the course of my run) that what i ran into was the top of a tree. see... a tree had fallen, and was lying kinda half on the trail, and i, being, ya know, the mega-all-star that i am, ran into the top of it... the branches. got all tangled, and....so yeah. i ran into a tree.

i win the gold-star for RBF moron of the day. (week? month? year?...lets not get into it!!)

mm-hmm. yeah. gooooooood times. and this was just at like mile TWO. oy, and oy.

Posted by a.maria at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

i'm running 22 miles in about an hour. 22 miles. and i thought i was ready, and i didnt think i'd be nervous, but ya know what? i am nervous. i'm ---queasy can't quite choke down an entire banana have tied and re-tied my laces several times keep needing to go the bathroom can't stop my leg from jumping up and down--- nervous.

its cold out, so i have a headband thing on to cover my ears. i've never run with a headband thing but my ears are really sensitive, so this has me nervous. i can't find the shirt i always run in, but its a tank top so it doesnt make sense to run in it, so i have on this other shirt i've been running in lately, but that has me nervous. i cant remember what i normally eat in the morning so i had a banana but it felt gross in my mouth so i didnt eat the whole thing and that has me nervous. i'm running in my first pair of running shoes because those are what i want to run the marathon in but i bought new ones and i'm wondering if i'm being too nostalgic about the shoes and that has me nervous.

and its 5:19 now and i gotta go but i'm still just sitting here...

ok. time to get up off my ass and go do this.

i'm about to run 22 miles you guys.... i think i might cry. omg. i'm such a girl.

Posted by a.maria at 03:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)