Little Miss Runner Pants

for the past two weeks my toilet has been every once in a while-turned-all the time sorta kinda leaking water...

like... not on the floor or anything, but the big tub thing in back would fill up.. and then like... keep trickling water. so there would be this constant like ...*trickle trickle....trickle trickle*...

omg there's nothing more annoying. it got to the point where i had to close the bathroom door so it wouldn't bother me...
cuz.. ya know how when something's so faint you can barely hear it, you then strain to hear it above all the other noise in the room? like not on purpose, you just DO...

UGHHHHH i was going out of my mind. and i live in a loft... thats the ONLY DOOR, besides my closet, even IN here... so, its not a habit for me to close the door.

this is my HOUSE. if i want the door open, then dammit, i want the door open.

but it gave me the heebie jeebies to hear the water, and i'm entirely too much of a space cadet to actually remember to call maintenence, so its been two weeks of gradually getting more and more constant of a trickle.

like.. trickle turned freakin' STREAM. i swear.

so today, i'm like alright, ya know what? i've had enough. and....... i took the top off of the toilet.

(yeah i dont know anything about toilets people. taking the top off without dropping one of the items on the lid is an achievement.. because i of course refuse to clear the lid because i'm like oh i have good balance... inevitably something falls in the FREEZING cold water.

this is my life, ya know?!)

anyway... i take the top off and put on my "plumber" hat.. and mmmm... yes. toilet. still dont know how this thing works... but maybe if i jiggle.... ?? yeah. that does nothing.. whats this floaty ball. why is it? why is it floaty? so i mess with it and realize OH. if i lift it up, the water stops running... oooh oooh oooh. look! look! it stopped so i let go thinking, ha. problem solved....

let go and.....water starts running again...

dammit!!! okay a.maria... you're a single gal living in the city. its time you take matters into your own hands... where is my screwdriver?

go rummage thru my closet... cuz where else would a screwdriver be? (am i spelling screwdriver right? is it one word or two... how much of a girl am i right now?...ok yeah its one word. we're cool...)

so. i find my screwdriver (that i totally stole from the ex... AHHHHahahaha) and its one of those switch-o-change-o ones thats both a philips and a flat-head (how impressed are you that i know THAT?!)... and i actually need both, so already i'm congratulating myself on the find.

oy.

anyway... back to the toilet

so. lift floaty ball = stop water running... lift floaty ball.... lift... hmm. maybe if i screw this on tighter?..... yeah no it just became a gushing waterfall, thats no good, undo, undo, undo....

umm. okay... lift floaty ball... lift.... AHHHH. okay... okay little screw goes DOWN when ball goes up... oh! omg i think i've found the cure.... ok. need the flathead....

do the little magical switch of the screws, tighten, tighten, tighten...why isn't this WORKING tighten tighten...

hold... wait....

NO TRICKLE TRICKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am a GENIOUS!!!! i am a PLUMBER!!!

ha!

i am the coolest. i don't need no stinkin' man......!!!!!

...........now then, i wonder what'll happen when i flush the toilet......?!?!?!?!?!

Posted by a.maria at 05:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

so. being that i have a few issues with getting lost and showing up to places on time... chicago guy and i left at a quarter to 8:00 for our 9:00 race... thinking yeah. this should be plenty of time...

and...

it WAS!!! we arrived on SCHEDULE!!! without getting LOST!!!! with lots of time for stretching and getting even more NERVOUS!!! hoorAH!!! (yeah no i was really that excited about it. i felt as though i earned a medal for just not getting myself into a ridiculous predicament a la my first race! yesss... she learns from her mistakes! its miraculous!!)

anyway.. so, we pull into the parking lot and... its a for real cave.

i dont know why i didnt think it was going to be... i knew full well it was, indeed, a cave... but, actually seeing it was just ackward.

but so we walk in, and its a little chaotic.

see... its a cave, but its like a fake cave. a real fake cave??? its paved, like a parking garage, and has super fake rocky walls, and weird "natural" but fake pillars... and there are lots of turns and curves and side alleyways... so we're walking around and people are huddled, and they're stretching, and trotting, and doing normal pre-race stuff...... and i was like ok...

now what?

we were there an hour early.. chicago guy was going to do the 5K, me the 10K... and we had like an hour to kill.

i felt as though there was something i should be doing but i couldnt think of anything... so we just kinda sat and watched.

the 5K was to start at 9:00 and the 10K at 9:45... so. la-dee-dah. we milled about and pretend stretched and basically tried to look like we fit in.

at about 8:45 the starting area really started to fill up, and i was completely shocked at how many people were there. i mean.. yes, i saw the video, it was crowded... but in person its not just crowded... its loud and echoy, everyone's looking for their friend that they're supposed to run with, and i'm so un-tall i got stepped on a few times...

eventually, though, the WHAAA WHAAA WHAAA alarm goes off and... the race has begun.

after the runners turned their first corner and were out of site i dragged our bags over to the finish area to wait for Chicago Guy to cross the line...

as i'm standing there waiting, who do i see but...... TALL BLONDE!!!!!!! yay, a running buddy! we chit-chatted for a while and she informs me she'd like to run a sub-10:30 pace... and how did that sound?!

oh. well... um. yeahhhhh...

no?!

i'd been stressing about this race for whatever reason for a few days... my legs didnt feel right and i had a something is going to go horribly wrong feeling about my 10K, so i wished her luck in her crazy quest, but assured her i'd be bringing up the rear in my normal fashion!

25:32 later, Chicago Guy comes around the bend and finishes his FIRST RACE EVER!!! there was ruckus and elation as i made my way over to congratulate him and find out what the course was like...

um. turns out.. he's a bit of an angry runner. "it was CROWDED!! there were so many PEOPLE!! i'm so SWEATY!! there were no MILE MARKERS!! you ran pas..." - uh... excuse me WHAT?! there are no mile markers?!?!?!?!?!?! none? zero?

yeah. he was none too pleased, and really ? neither was i.... so we got him his post-race goodies, walked back over to the start, and i proceded to get ready for my race in my usual way.....

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit there are no mile markers. there are no mile markers. i'm going to have to magically know how far i've gone and how far i've got to go. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

ya know. normal stuff.

at around 9:35 i go line up at the start line and who do i see??!! SKINNY RUNS REALLY FAST WAS IN THE NIKE MARATHON WITH ME....GIRL!!!! this super cute little 19 year old make you want to vom she's so gorgeous and thin and nice (i hate when they're nice, its so hard to hate them when they're nice!!!)... girl who i hadn't seen since san francisco, but who i trained with many saturday's ago. so we chatted it up and i wished her well as we stood around waiting for the race to begin.

eventually the WHAA WHAA sounded off.. and... we ran.

as soon as we were around the first curve, i took a look around to get a feeling for my surroundings and... this is not going to be a good situation

there were pillars, and concrete.. pillars and concrete.... semi's and pillars... concrete... pillars and concrete...

OMG it was just nothingness. so...i tried to psyche myself up.... but you're in a cave!! how cool is this?! this is totally rad!! omg i absolutely love this!! i could run forever!! look how good you feel! you're legs are in fluid motion... you're a running machine... you're....

completely full of it, this is ridiculous... look at this place, why would they have a race here.. this is just down right dreary! there's nothing to look at.. theres... exit signs and concrete and.... there are barely any lights and what's with the cones. do they really need that many cones? that is an absurd amount of cones...

and the first half of the 3 mile loop started something like that.

being that we were running inside, there was no moving air, so what had been a pretty comfortable upper 50* temp turned into a dear GOD i wish i was swimming right now situation... i passed two water stops, but decided, since i knew we were doing the 3.1 mile loop twice, that stopping for water at what was probably mile.... .8... was not necessary. so.. i just kept going.

at mile 3ish, when we ran next to the finish area, i noticed my time was something like 33 minutes, and thought to myself hey!! well done!!

i came up to the water stop i had previously passed and decided maybe i could use a couple sips of water.

worst decision ever

a few minutes later, i experienced, literally for the first time EVER, serious major very unpleasant and actually quite painful cramping in my side.

not just like one little place.. my entire right side.

oooooooh no. this is so inconvenient. now what do i do? i've never had a side-cramp. what IS it with me and races and new ridiculous physical experiences? side cramp... side cramp... you're s'pose to run thru those right? i'm pretty sure i heard that somewhere.. just keep breathing.. deep? deep breathing does that... (*&#$$%! NOPE!! deep breathing is not the answer... good god, it, wow.. yeah no don't do that again. not so much with the deep breaths...

okay though we're still running... we're okay we're still... yeah we're.. are we even running anymore? is this considered running? this is.. yeah no okay this is not running lets just..... whew... yeah.. lets walk a bit, thats way better...

so i walked for a few minutes, kind of holding my side and waving off the volunteers that suggested i just sit down for a bit..

yeah no see, i'm in a race? sitting down is just sooooo not an option right now! thanks though... ?!

after a few minutes of walking i was completely annoyed and reminded myself of my motto... "suck it up and run"...

so.. i ran.

and.... quite promptly decided my motto is just dumb and i should find a new one!

eventually though, the cramping was quelled, and i was able to run along like a normal person...

oh thank the lordy, that was so not cool... ok. so... just a few more miles right? i mean obviously i have less than 3 to go... hmm. wonder how MANY less than three??? yeah they so should have mile markers, that would seriously have not been hard to devise at all.... maybe i'll volunteer for that job next year?!...... running...running...

okay so i'm like basically last right now huh? ... yeah there are grandparents running ahead of me at the moment... GRANDPARENTS... my god i am just worthless this is retarded, are you kidding? what is with... ooh. OOOH! there are a few people back in that nook.... hells yeah they're behind me! ha HA! i'm not last!!!!

... dear GOD when is this race gunna be over i have GOT to be close by now, right?!

at which point, i am ashamed to say... i....

walked.

i was so BORED. so bored. and i had no idea, no clue, as to how far i still had to go... i'd been walking for a few minutes, and like half-hobbling for a few after that... so i had no idea time-wise where i was at... it was as if all of a sudden i was struck with ADD and just completely forgot the entire point of a race is to see how FAST you can go.. i like stopped to walk and started reading some old man's t-shirt that was in front of me... i was reading all the little exit signs (which were just numbers and letters.. its not like there was something to actually READ... i was just like... oh. exit 203d. wonder where that goes).... omg seriously what is WRONG with me?!

eventually though i recognized some RR tracks and it hit me that i should be running...so i picked it up, turned the corner, huh. whaddaya know... there's the finish-line and sprinted it in for an official time of.....

1:11:42

and yeah... that was kinda it.

it was an experience, to say the least... but as soon as i was done, i understood why i didnt know anybody that was running it for a second time....

afterwards Chicago Guy and i milled about, eating oranges and downing powerade, and deciding our next race??!!

def'ly gunna be outside!

Posted by a.maria at 03:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (22) | TrackBacks (0)

in a cave.

in a what?!... yeah. a cave.

and i'm nervous...

why should i be nervous?

oh.. i dunno.. maybe because i dont exactly have the greatest track record with races....

if you remember correctly, my first 5K about did me in... what with getting lost, arriving 3 minutes before the gun went off, not having safety pins, befriending an asthmatic in the middle of some sort of asthma attack, and really not realizing how far a 5K actually is (two...TWO full laps around the Kansas Speedway... not one... no, no... two..)

the possiblities of what could go wrong while running a race twice that distance and in a cave?? well... they're seemingly endless.

never mind that i still havent figured out where this sub-tropolis IS.. i just realized in a phone-call with Chicago Guy.. i'm not entirely sure when the race even begins.

take one look at this and....

....are you JOKING?! did you see how crowded it was? was that some sort of fog-horn going off? was there a DOG barking in the background? what even WAS that?!

there's a billionty people in that small confined restricted space!! i'm gunna be elbow to elbow with these hooping and hollaring maniacs... i am going to straight up lose my mind!

i dont even know how to run in a crowd like that. what if i trip and fall and cause some sort of runner pile-up in the middle of the race? i'm going to need flippin' boxing gloves for this thing!!

that is the visual definition of chaos.... holy balls, what have i gotten myself into!!!?!

and please... someone....how do i get OUT!!?!?!

Posted by a.maria at 03:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

there were no runners at the meeting last night.

everyone that showed was there for the "most beautiful bike ride around some huge lake in utah" ...er...something...100 mile bike ride.

there was no a.maria running all-star uberest of the uber marathoning glory stories to be told..... none...... NONE!

it pretty much was like "yeahhhhh... so.... um. i ran a marathon and.... yeah....."

i got nuthin for the bikers. i did, however, manage to spew forth as verbal diarrhea my training experiences in all of like 3 minutes... (i should not go into public speaking, by the way..)

i had the TNT'ers in the back cracking up... but the bikers in the front, who we were actually trying to recruit...

yeah. they weren't so amused.

ah well. must be a runner thing.

Posted by a.maria at 01:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

and quietly laugh at the absurdity of it all.

less than a year ago i sat in that meeting. a completely naive, clueless girl, that thought it'd be cool to be a runner... so hey, why not run a marathon??!!

good god what was wrong with me?!!!

but i was there. i sat in those seats, i looked at the coach, the alumni, the experienced ones... the runners... and i longed to be one of them. i looked at them in awe... i still do. i wondered what it was that they had, that i didnt, that allowed them to run for 2, 3, 5 hours at a time... and could i be one of them? did i really even want to be one of them?

what would it take? mentally? physically?

to have experienced everything that i have, in such a short amount of time.... to have pushed myself through so much.. physically, weekly, doing things i never thought possible... and finding with-in myself, mentally, someone so strong and so capable. to have grown, so much, in the few months that i've been running... to have fallen down, broken, and gotten back up again, time, after time... week after week.

its craziness.

and now... to be on the other end? to get to be the alumni. it just makes me laugh... thinking of how inspired i have been by the runners around me... by the amazing people i've met thru the RBF...

its hilarity to think that some poor misguided soul at tonights meeting might look at me the way i look at people like running chick and jeff... wil and ali... noames, rae, and josh.... and so many others... but the way that i look to them for inspiration, guidance...

to have someone then look at me?! well. thats crazy. i mean completely absurd.

but i totally love it. and i'll eat it up, standing there with my experience runner face on... all the while thinking its a bit like playing dress up, and man..if those RBF'ers could see me now......

Posted by a.maria at 09:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Mile One = 10:26

you kinda flip out a little.

okay. you kinda flip out a lot.

you then shoo away your running partner, in perhaps not the kindest of manners, because it has just occured to you, in those few seconds it took to read your watch, that if you keep going at the pace you're at, you will not only burn out before you finish the 6 miles you've planned for the day... you may very well get to enjoy, first hand, a near-death experience.

so then what do you do?

well, if you're me you...

run faster.

completely uncontrollably. you just... run faster. you tell yourself to slow down, you try and control your breathing, but at the next Garmin Mile Alert, when you read

Mile Two: 10:21

you realize your body is just not listening to a word your saying, so you, with complete sincerity, begin to wonder if there might just be something wrong with you.

because against all odds, mile 3 clocks in at...... 10:28. and that is just not right.

...
i promise you, i swear to you, i did everything i could, everything with-in my power to get myself to slow down.... i didn't WANT to be running that fast. i DONT run that fast. but my body was just. not. cooperating.

so, what were miles 3, 4, and 5 like?

oh, ya know... same deal. only in reverse.

my legs were heavy, my calves were screaming at me, and quite honestly, i just couldn't go. i began again... trying hard to maintain ANY sort of managable, continual, some-what steady pace.

yeah. not so much. my bod was just not having it. so i ran. and i ran... and i walked. i laughed a little, and then i ran a bit.

walked.

ran.

the last three miles looked something like this...

mile 4 11:32
mile 5 11:41
mile 6 11:44

and yet... after all of that? i STILL ran the damn thing in just over an hour.

6.14 miles/ 1:07:12/ 10:57 avg. pace

honest to god i dunno what's going on, but i've got a 10K next week, and lemme tell ya... i'm not just a little nervous.

after this morning?

i'm down right scared.

Posted by a.maria at 07:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (26) | TrackBacks (0)

oh great, here we go...the friday night ward-off

its Soccer Boy...

hello?!
hey whats up? whats goin' on, how are you?
oh hey.. hi. hey..i'm good... whats up?!
nuthin.. what are you up to? wha'cha doin'?!
i uh.. hah... i'm uh.. i'm in bed. actually.. i'm.. i'm in bed
what?.... what? i thought...weren't you guys doing that bowling thing, shootin' pool.. i was gunna come join ya
yeah no i uh. yeah. no, yeah. we are. we were. they were. but with the weather and it icing up and stuff, Newspaper Guy didnt wanna mess with it.. but we're doing it tomorrow still..

so you're in bed?
yeah.. i. yeah. i have to run tomorrow, so i'm in bed.. i just wan-
WHUT? you're running tomorrow? when?
oh um, yeah.. at 7am? yeah cuz i -
you're running at 7? in the morning?
yeah.. yeah well i know, i know... its kin-
in this weather? seriously?
right.. well, i already told my coach and my running partner... so i dont have much of a choice, ya know...
OMG! wow... you're running? wow...

we then go on to talk about this that and the other... and then...

cool, well yeah, i'll give you a call tomorrow and le'cha know what the plan is, but yeah, i think we're still on for King Louie's so..
yeah, i dont have any plans, so i'm down for that definitely.
ok. cool, well.. have a good night!

yeah.. you too. good luck with your run tomorrow
oh..yeah, tha-
you're seriously running in this tomorrow?
i know, i know, i don'-
what is WRONG with you?! jesus i can't believe you're running... are you out of your mind?!?!
...uh.. yeah.. haha, right? i know, but what can you do, i tol-
wow, well good luck with that, you're crazy. good luck.
yeah. okay. yeah... thanks....... thanks. have a good night.

.............. every week people. every. week.

Posted by a.maria at 07:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

you know what you're supposed to be doing in 27* weather on a saturday morning?? hmm??

you're supposed to be in BED... aSLEEP... wrapped up in mulitple BLANKETS.... sleeping off the alcohol you drank the night before while you were OUT BOWLING WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!

(ok, well, you dont have to have been bowling.. thats just what i'd have been doing....)

but is that what i'm going to be doing at 7am on saturday morning in 27* weather? no. of course not.

WHY?! because i committed to the morning run BEFORE I KNEW it was going to be FLIPPING FREEZING outside!!!!!!!!!!!!

my sneaky sneaky coach and his sneaky sneaky ways...

and i know, i know what you're thinking.... but a.maria, last weekend, weren't you just saying how glad you were to be back? how much you enjoyed getting up in the morning before sunrise? getting out there and running with all the other runners?

well ya know what? i was doped up on endorphins when i wrote that... quite obviously i was out of my head and not completely aware of what i was saying.

pay me no mind when i'm in such a condition. to have been a person to have enjoyed such a thing... well... its quite clear i was not myself and some other i enjoy torture person was occupying my body.

cuz right now, this very moment, the only thing i'm thinking is

i don'wanna...i don'wanna...i don'wanna....

but its training. and i said i would. and i need to, and i have to, so i will.

(but i really don'wanna!)

---------

and btw.. i feel this deserves mentioning.... currently, as i write this, there is a large box of donuts (lovingly referred to as fat pills by my boss) sitting, quite literally 4 actual footsteps away from me.

four.

this is what i'd have to do to retrieve a donut....

take off head phones... turn chair... get up... step two three four (i could even, if i wanted, make it in three).... lift box, grab donut, pivot, step two three back to my seat, and.... enjoy.

but you know what i'm doing instead, with only the slightest hint of a tear..... i'm getting up, walking past those donuts, filling up my water bottle, and staying strong.

i will not give in to you, oh delicious fatty goodness filled donuts that are screaming my name. no, no i wont.

i want to. but i wont.

because apparently thats the mantra of my day!
-----------------

man, sometimes being so committed to a goal is a real pain in the arse!

Posted by a.maria at 06:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

KU just lost to MU in over-time. i already had lost my voice (in that very sexy sick-voice that chicks get when they're sick kind of a way... you know what i mean. phoebe? oh yeah.)

*sigh*

so. i had a few drinks.. and then a few more, while i watched Moody, among others, strip us of our MU defeat.

*double sigh*

whatever. its a rebuilding year. a bunch of MU seniors beat a bunch of KU freshman. la-de-dah.

anyway, i've been informed of a tag. bolder's fridge is ridiculously one, organized, and two, healthy.

mine? yeah. not so much. but really, are any of you surprised? yeah.. i didn't think so!

ok first of all, might i just say.... i am not an alcholic. i swear. the two bottles of red wine, the chianti, the beer, the 2 jugs of V8 and the sprite and cranberry juice... (to be mixed with the two bottles of vodka you dont see that reside in my freezer....bloody marys? vodka rasp. and sprite?... anyone?!! ) um.

yes i do realize all of those things would sort of lead you to believe i am, indeed, an alcholic. but i'm not. i swear... i just entertain a lot.

no seriously.

i have healthy stuff too... see? um... there are apples and carrots in the drawer...flour and corn tortillas, tomatoes, cilantro, queso in many varieties.... chorizo, avacado... eggs... (jeez i sound like a mexican grocery store)

anyway. what can i say, girl likes to party.

so. there ya have it. my dirty little secret...

and with that, i bid you adieu.... if i'm going to be worth anything at work tomorrow, now is the time for bed!

Posted by a.maria at 08:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

i sick.

me no feel good.

tired.

achy.

throat hurt. like sandpaper.

no want talk.

drippy nose.

moving in slow motion.

*cough*

ouch.

*groan*

i sick.

Posted by a.maria at 07:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

okay yeah thats not bliss.

but running? bliss.

and i completely forgot.

yesterday Tall Blonde emailed me to ask if i wanted to go to the saturday morning run...

uhhmmmmm.... o...kay. omg i dont want to do this i havent gotten up this early in forever omg i dont want to go.

yeah. yeah, i'll be there. 7am? uh-huh noooooooo sounds good!

and so for the first time, in a long time, like almost 3 months of a long time, i uttered those 8 little words that prompts the groan and the eye-roll from every one of my friends....

"nope. i can't. i have to run tomorrow"

and just like that..... i'm back.

back to pasta fridays with 9:30pm bed times. back to vaseline and body-glide. deodorant in strange places, fruit smoothies and peanut butter, waking up without needing to snooze, and dark car rides to trails and parks.

i'm back. and from the moment i woke up this morning, realizing i was, indeed, into it all over again....

i can't wipe the damn smile offa my face!

i arrived, as mentioned, a good half hour early. i sat in the dark and watched the runners out for a 6am run as they found their way to the waterstop, and ran off again.... i got reacquainted with my garmin, and i thought to myself... man i've missed this!

eventually more and more cars began to pull into the lot. i got out. stretched, and made my way over... i haven't seen this group since San Francisco, so i was greeted with a "where have YOU been" and "glad your back".

and that was it. that was all there needed to be. it was 7am. it was time to run. and so we did.....

right off the bat, i was running solo. i recognized everyone there, and knew my pace didn't match up... but that was fine. its always fine. running is something i still just love to do on my own. and so.... i ran.

and i ran and i ran. the breathing thing was back to normal, as was my pace... i didn't have to think about what i was doing.. i just did it. i knew the turns in the trail, the hills, the bridges... and at every big turn, every opening in the woods, i smiled. i couldn't help myself. it was as if the whole of saturday morning was saying to me "welcome back.... so glad you came". and it was all i could do not to respond aloud, with a "yeah... me too".

i finished the run glowing. just completely glowing. i'd forgotten what getting up so early to run with all the other TNT'ers, in the dark, on a saturday morning... i'd forgotten what it did to me. why i loved it so much, and this morning... wow. this morning was just such an amazing reminder.

6 miles. 6 easy miles....

i wasn't pushing myself to go fast, i wasn't worried about my time... i was just enjoying the run.

and what happened? i PR'd is what happened. i PR'd by almost 10minutes.

crazy right? but kinda perfect crazy?!

yeah. thats what i thought too!
----------
stats:

6 miles/ 1:05:54

11:13
11:19
10:56
10:50
10:54
10:38

(hehe! i'm so fast!)

Posted by a.maria at 09:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)

i cannot breathe right. like... can NOT breathe.

today's run was a strange mixture of oh i am so in the mood to run today... yes, this is awesome... look at me i'm going so fast..... huh thats weird i'm having a really hard time... i can't... OMG I CAN'T BREATHE... so i stop. squat down. regulate the breathing, reminding myself it should go more like breathe innnn... breathe outtttttt... rather than in/out. in/out. in...in...in...out/in. out... out.. in/out...... and then i'd be back to oh i am so in the mood......

yeah okay so see? what is WRONG with me? it was this... over, and over, and over, and over... i have not stopped that many times in a 4.5 mile distance since...... i dont even KNOW when. this. was. ridiculous.

at one point i got so just... frustrated, that i stopped completely, sat on the grass, and just kinda pondered my confused state. what is causing this? breathing is sort of something i should be able to do. look. i'm doing it now. so. WHATISTHEPROBLEM?!?!

i took a look at my watch and realized i was running at about a 10:30 pace. ish.

taking into consideration i am more like the turtle than the hare... thats kinda fast. thats like kinda yeah right no way was i running that, there's gotta be something wrong with my watch fast.

but i did the math once i got back.... 4.53 miles...47:07minutes... that a 10:24 pace. ish.

(whuuuuuut?!)

so here is my assesment.....

i got faster. (yeah i know. i'm a regular sherlock holmes)

um. no but so yeah. what if like... because of all of my cross-training, my legs are like WEEEEE!! we want to go faster!!! leftrightleftrightleftright!!!! but my lungs are like *cough. hack. spew. this blows. stop it* ....??

cuz that could be it, right? i mean. i dunno.

point is... something weird is going on with my running. and its causing me to not be able to breathe right. and ya know... not being able to breathe is just ever so slightly inconvenient. so. i'm at a loss. this has been going on ever since i started running outside again, so.... if any of you would like to take a stab as to what my problem is, that'd be grand.

cuz running + not breathing SORTA = death!

and that would just totally ruin my day!

Posted by a.maria at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (23) | TrackBacks (0)

i won!!

an award!!

that i didnt even know existed!!

how is that possible?!!.... i dont know??!!

but i don't care, because...

i won!!

an award!!

and apparently all i had to do was... not be a triathlete!?

what am i talking about? well... the tri-geek kahuna over at tri-geek dreams has held a tri-blogger award, and, against all odds... i won!!?!!

so... thanks! thanks to all of you that put up with my has-nothing-to-do-with-running posts! i will do my best to uh... keep tripping in front of people, and playing the wrong songs at church.... breaking into chinese restaurants, showing up late to races, and just... flailing about day to day here in my little corner of the world!

now then... go check out the kahuna's blog to read all about the other actual tri-bloggie winners!

Posted by a.maria at 02:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

ever since christmas, and going home... work and new years, and then my birthday (which, thank you for all the well wishes. i love bloggy land!), i've just been going a mile a minute. or rather, life, or at least day-to-day time, has just seemed to be in a perpetual state of fast-forward. and its all i can do to just keep up.

between new years resolutions, and new years eve fiascos, to holy-crap-i'm-26-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life revelations, somewhere in there, i forgot something.

and today... i was reminded...

"it's all good. life is good. just enjoy."

in trying to make sure that my 26th year is all that it can be, i forgot half of it is just sitting back and enjoying it.

the chaos of my life, the chaos that is causing me a small amount of BOOGIDA BOOGIDA right now, is the same chaos in my life that i just... that i love. its who i am.

i dont have it all figured out. i don't know what i'm doing or where i'm going. i get lost. figuratively and literally. almost on a daily basis.... my apartment flip-flops between perfect organization, and having scattered within it every piece of clothing that i own, because i cannot dress for an evening out without trying on all combinations of outfits paired with shoes, and should my hair be up or down? curly or straight? do i need more eye shadow or am i good?...

every month, without fail, i receive my bills in the mail, and spend two or three good days wondering if i already paid it online, or do i need to send a check. and then usually do both, creating for myself quite a situation the next day when its time to buy groceries.... i am so scatterbrained in the morning, dressing for work in the dark, that earlier this week i showed up to the gym with two right shoes, making that days run rather impossible....the next day i forgot my t-shirt. prompting my boss to seriously question my state of mind.

i create for myself the most ridiculous of situations.. whether its playing O Come All Ye Faithfull in the middle of Silent Night.... thinking i live in a chinese restaurant, or just being so dumb-founded on the phone when certain male specimens call, that i stutter my way thru the entire situation as though i have yet to develop any social skills what-so-ever.

all of its me. and its fun. its funny. its just life. and its a good life, and its my life, and i dont know what i was thinking, trying to make it into so much more.

i worked so hard last year to get to the point where i actually like who i am. so this year, my 26th year, i will, yes, i will strive for that 5 hour marathon. i will attempt to lose those inches around the middle... i'll save more money, and i'll learn to swim and join that TRI-team. yes its true, i will do all those things.

but mostly, i'll just be me. with no apologies and no excuses.. i'll remember to sit back and enjoy whatever mess it is i've managed to get myself into, and i'll laugh.

cuz "its all good. life is good. just enjoy"

Posted by a.maria at 03:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (21) | TrackBacks (0)

as a special birthday present to.... myself (hee) i decided to go ahead
and.... REGISTER FOR MY NEXT MARATHON!

check me out -------->

i'm in! ain't no turnin back now! (gulp)

there might be a little bit of ohmygoodness-what- have-i-just-done-am-i-really-going-to-run-another-one??-ness going on, but mostly, i've just been skipping around my office, doing a little dance and throwing my legs into the air at every chance i get!!!

today is a good day!

... its my friggin birthday people....today is a GREAT day!

besides the "happy birthdays" and the high-fives (cuz who doesn't love them a high five!) i got... are you ready for this......

a special delivery!!!!!!!!!!!!

no. yeah. like... ME! how important and loved do i feel?!!! i've never had a special delivery... today is my day! 26 is my YEAR!

i could not be more excited about this. balloons and kisses wrapped in yellow...lacy...stuff and ribbons?! um HELLOOOOO!!! yes please?! and THANK YOU!!!!

all i need now is a Texas win over USC, a KANSAS win over yale (dummy yale....) and, really... i'm all set!

weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

hope you all have a great day! and welcome to my 26th year!

strap in...its gunna be a wild ride!

--------------------
heh. in celebration of the big win last night i give you...... my celebratory balloons!

Posted by a.maria at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (38) | TrackBacks (0)

um. heh. sooo, uh, did anyone else drink a little too much new years eve? get so drunk they forgot which building they lived in, so tried for 20 minutes to get the building next door to theirs (chinese restaurant) open with their apartment key, because.."it just sticks a little. i swear. the key fits, you just have to wiggle it"... really truely unaware that they were at the wrong building... all the while an entire after party was waiting for them at their ACTUAL apartment, for like 20 minutes, wondering where the hell you were? so that now you're stuck with 3 bottles of champagne, 2 bottles of vodka, 2 pies, a zillion cookies and more varieties of chips and dip than you know what to do with...but a really clean house, because you spent half the day saturday cleaning getting ready for the 15ish people that were supposed to be coming over?!!!!

hmm? anyone??!?... no? yeah. uhh......... me neither......!

WHEW! what a way to ring in the new year, i tell you what. and that's not the half of it..... i'm quite sure there's a certain someone out there that thinks i'm certifiably insane.. fun, and crazy, in kind of a good way, but also... just a little bit out of my mind. i can't remember the last time i had that kind of a night. too fun. no like... toooooo fun. happy 2006!!

(wow!)

ANYway... ::slouches down, completely mortified::

needless to say, this chick was WAY too hung over to do any actual running as of yet in 2006...however, i did get 4 very, VERY amazing miles in saturday.

just not in the morning as i'd planned.

because, come to find out, i am not brilliant.

i know... shocker, right?!

between waking up HOURS late for the morning run, to not knowing upper 30 degree weather doesnt need running pants, running long-sleeve turtleneck, ear cover-upper head band thing AND a running jacket (yeah. 6 months later and i'm still the newbie) to getting lost, crossing a bridge i didnt even know existed...

i was, quite literally, chaos in motion.

but it was a great last run of the year... and tomorrow, hopefully, will bring me a great FIRST run of the year!!

for now though, sleep. lots and lots of sleep!

Posted by a.maria at 03:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)