Little Miss Runner Pants

so. being that i have a few issues with getting lost and showing up to places on time... chicago guy and i left at a quarter to 8:00 for our 9:00 race... thinking yeah. this should be plenty of time...

and...

it WAS!!! we arrived on SCHEDULE!!! without getting LOST!!!! with lots of time for stretching and getting even more NERVOUS!!! hoorAH!!! (yeah no i was really that excited about it. i felt as though i earned a medal for just not getting myself into a ridiculous predicament a la my first race! yesss... she learns from her mistakes! its miraculous!!)

anyway.. so, we pull into the parking lot and... its a for real cave.

i dont know why i didnt think it was going to be... i knew full well it was, indeed, a cave... but, actually seeing it was just ackward.

but so we walk in, and its a little chaotic.

see... its a cave, but its like a fake cave. a real fake cave??? its paved, like a parking garage, and has super fake rocky walls, and weird "natural" but fake pillars... and there are lots of turns and curves and side alleyways... so we're walking around and people are huddled, and they're stretching, and trotting, and doing normal pre-race stuff...... and i was like ok...

now what?

we were there an hour early.. chicago guy was going to do the 5K, me the 10K... and we had like an hour to kill.

i felt as though there was something i should be doing but i couldnt think of anything... so we just kinda sat and watched.

the 5K was to start at 9:00 and the 10K at 9:45... so. la-dee-dah. we milled about and pretend stretched and basically tried to look like we fit in.

at about 8:45 the starting area really started to fill up, and i was completely shocked at how many people were there. i mean.. yes, i saw the video, it was crowded... but in person its not just crowded... its loud and echoy, everyone's looking for their friend that they're supposed to run with, and i'm so un-tall i got stepped on a few times...

eventually, though, the WHAAA WHAAA WHAAA alarm goes off and... the race has begun.

after the runners turned their first corner and were out of site i dragged our bags over to the finish area to wait for Chicago Guy to cross the line...

as i'm standing there waiting, who do i see but...... TALL BLONDE!!!!!!! yay, a running buddy! we chit-chatted for a while and she informs me she'd like to run a sub-10:30 pace... and how did that sound?!

oh. well... um. yeahhhhh...

no?!

i'd been stressing about this race for whatever reason for a few days... my legs didnt feel right and i had a something is going to go horribly wrong feeling about my 10K, so i wished her luck in her crazy quest, but assured her i'd be bringing up the rear in my normal fashion!

25:32 later, Chicago Guy comes around the bend and finishes his FIRST RACE EVER!!! there was ruckus and elation as i made my way over to congratulate him and find out what the course was like...

um. turns out.. he's a bit of an angry runner. "it was CROWDED!! there were so many PEOPLE!! i'm so SWEATY!! there were no MILE MARKERS!! you ran pas..." - uh... excuse me WHAT?! there are no mile markers?!?!?!?!?!?! none? zero?

yeah. he was none too pleased, and really ? neither was i.... so we got him his post-race goodies, walked back over to the start, and i proceded to get ready for my race in my usual way.....

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit there are no mile markers. there are no mile markers. i'm going to have to magically know how far i've gone and how far i've got to go. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

ya know. normal stuff.

at around 9:35 i go line up at the start line and who do i see??!! SKINNY RUNS REALLY FAST WAS IN THE NIKE MARATHON WITH ME....GIRL!!!! this super cute little 19 year old make you want to vom she's so gorgeous and thin and nice (i hate when they're nice, its so hard to hate them when they're nice!!!)... girl who i hadn't seen since san francisco, but who i trained with many saturday's ago. so we chatted it up and i wished her well as we stood around waiting for the race to begin.

eventually the WHAA WHAA sounded off.. and... we ran.

as soon as we were around the first curve, i took a look around to get a feeling for my surroundings and... this is not going to be a good situation

there were pillars, and concrete.. pillars and concrete.... semi's and pillars... concrete... pillars and concrete...

OMG it was just nothingness. so...i tried to psyche myself up.... but you're in a cave!! how cool is this?! this is totally rad!! omg i absolutely love this!! i could run forever!! look how good you feel! you're legs are in fluid motion... you're a running machine... you're....

completely full of it, this is ridiculous... look at this place, why would they have a race here.. this is just down right dreary! there's nothing to look at.. theres... exit signs and concrete and.... there are barely any lights and what's with the cones. do they really need that many cones? that is an absurd amount of cones...

and the first half of the 3 mile loop started something like that.

being that we were running inside, there was no moving air, so what had been a pretty comfortable upper 50* temp turned into a dear GOD i wish i was swimming right now situation... i passed two water stops, but decided, since i knew we were doing the 3.1 mile loop twice, that stopping for water at what was probably mile.... .8... was not necessary. so.. i just kept going.

at mile 3ish, when we ran next to the finish area, i noticed my time was something like 33 minutes, and thought to myself hey!! well done!!

i came up to the water stop i had previously passed and decided maybe i could use a couple sips of water.

worst decision ever

a few minutes later, i experienced, literally for the first time EVER, serious major very unpleasant and actually quite painful cramping in my side.

not just like one little place.. my entire right side.

oooooooh no. this is so inconvenient. now what do i do? i've never had a side-cramp. what IS it with me and races and new ridiculous physical experiences? side cramp... side cramp... you're s'pose to run thru those right? i'm pretty sure i heard that somewhere.. just keep breathing.. deep? deep breathing does that... (*&#$$%! NOPE!! deep breathing is not the answer... good god, it, wow.. yeah no don't do that again. not so much with the deep breaths...

okay though we're still running... we're okay we're still... yeah we're.. are we even running anymore? is this considered running? this is.. yeah no okay this is not running lets just..... whew... yeah.. lets walk a bit, thats way better...

so i walked for a few minutes, kind of holding my side and waving off the volunteers that suggested i just sit down for a bit..

yeah no see, i'm in a race? sitting down is just sooooo not an option right now! thanks though... ?!

after a few minutes of walking i was completely annoyed and reminded myself of my motto... "suck it up and run"...

so.. i ran.

and.... quite promptly decided my motto is just dumb and i should find a new one!

eventually though, the cramping was quelled, and i was able to run along like a normal person...

oh thank the lordy, that was so not cool... ok. so... just a few more miles right? i mean obviously i have less than 3 to go... hmm. wonder how MANY less than three??? yeah they so should have mile markers, that would seriously have not been hard to devise at all.... maybe i'll volunteer for that job next year?!...... running...running...

okay so i'm like basically last right now huh? ... yeah there are grandparents running ahead of me at the moment... GRANDPARENTS... my god i am just worthless this is retarded, are you kidding? what is with... ooh. OOOH! there are a few people back in that nook.... hells yeah they're behind me! ha HA! i'm not last!!!!

... dear GOD when is this race gunna be over i have GOT to be close by now, right?!

at which point, i am ashamed to say... i....

walked.

i was so BORED. so bored. and i had no idea, no clue, as to how far i still had to go... i'd been walking for a few minutes, and like half-hobbling for a few after that... so i had no idea time-wise where i was at... it was as if all of a sudden i was struck with ADD and just completely forgot the entire point of a race is to see how FAST you can go.. i like stopped to walk and started reading some old man's t-shirt that was in front of me... i was reading all the little exit signs (which were just numbers and letters.. its not like there was something to actually READ... i was just like... oh. exit 203d. wonder where that goes).... omg seriously what is WRONG with me?!

eventually though i recognized some RR tracks and it hit me that i should be running...so i picked it up, turned the corner, huh. whaddaya know... there's the finish-line and sprinted it in for an official time of.....

1:11:42

and yeah... that was kinda it.

it was an experience, to say the least... but as soon as i was done, i understood why i didnt know anybody that was running it for a second time....

afterwards Chicago Guy and i milled about, eating oranges and downing powerade, and deciding our next race??!!

def'ly gunna be outside!