need some motivation
this is ridiculous.
its been nine days.. n-i-n-e...
between "recovering" from my 10K (which, you know, apparently, takes 3 days) to 4 days of vacation/snowboarding to screw that i'm friggin exhausted there's no way i'm even attemting to pretend that i even WANT to run to today... to..
....i had a nose bleed for almost an hour today. a NOSE BLEED.... at WORK!! that has got to be some sort of free pass to not run....
things ain't looking good for the "first official week of training".
i'm not totally sure whats up. i am excited to train for another marathon.... in theory i am excited to train for another marathon. the idea of getting out there and running 4 days a week, besides terrifying... is exciting. it is... i just...
i... can't quite bring myself to do it. theres this part of me that doesn't think i have it in me. a part of me looks at my 10K with pure humiliation, and takes that as a cue that... honey, you ain't no runner....!!
what am i doing, you know? who am i trying to be? what am i trying to prove? what if something goes horribly wrong again? what if i burn out mid-season and fail? what if i never get any faster... if the running never gets easier?
what if what if what if.
i hate what ifs. they're so pointless.... i know. i know i can do it. i know i will do it.. i've already signed up, i just...
i feel like theres something missing. theres a part of this whole equation that doesnt feel right.
theres something i need to do. something that needs to happen. something that someone needs to say to me. or i to them.. i'm not sure.
but my motivation, something i normally am pretty good at creating for myself... well. i guess thats whats missing.
and i know i'm not the only one that is going/has gone thru this. i know its a struggle for everyone at one point or another... but right now, i feel like i'm alone in this.
i feel like i'm alone. and i'm just not entirely sure what to do about it.
Comments
DATE: 4:29 PM
Have you tried running at all these past nine days? Sometimes I find that the hardest part is just getting out the door. Once I'm outside and I get going, what seemed like a miserable idea sitting on my couch is actually a pleasant activity?
Posted by: Chris | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 4:06 PM
I think we've all been there...I remember one day before my half thinking, "just get through it and then you don't ever have to run again." Hah. The joy came back. Yours will, too. Find a buddy. Play head games while you run. Notice things. Think about things. Plan your life. Sing. Pat yourself on the back for getting out there! Be the runner you want to be.
Posted by: susie | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 5:44 PM
Well, the bad news? It never gets easier. OK, I'm not coming from 20+ marathons of experience, but you know what, the guys and gals that are doing this professionally work hard at it and struggle with it constantly just like we plodders do. Running marathons, or 5 and 10ks is hard work. It's never going to get "easy." But it can be gratifying and fun. Remember what it was like to work and accomplish something in training and in your marathon? You can do that over and over and over again. And you will get faster and you will run stronger, but the point is it's not easy. All kinds of things that ain't worth sh!t are easy. Anything worthwhile is hard.
Posted by: DREW | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 6:57 PM
you aren't alone. i just got over a little six day "i don't want to run" period. just go do it. don't even think about it...just put your running shoes on, grab your mp3 player (if you use on) and walk out of the door. when you think about it...you slowly rationalize away the time. just say "i am just going out the door in my running shoes to run a teeny bit" and then you are over the hump. remember why you started in the first place. then think about all the things you love about running...like that great feeling you get after you finish your run.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 5:43 AM
I have not run in 5 days...Today would/may be day 6.I think we gets in these non running humps.I blame the frosty Feb we are having (in Toronto, ON). Never trust a ground hog-->early spring my a**!!!
Posted by: Anonymous | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 6:14 AM
As the others say this happens to all of us at some point. We wake up and ask ourselves is it worth it? Why am I putting myself through this? All I can say after running for 30 years is find a way to keep the motivation. For me it is hardware and knowing heart issues run in my family. It keeps me going out the door even when I do not feel like it. Good luck!
Posted by: Kurt | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 6:19 AM
I'm right there with you on this one! I thought I would be able to pull off the St Louis Half in Aprill but I dont think so now.....Its been 8 days since my last run ( I sound like I'm in AA!) and the short 3 miles hurt for days! I'm blaming the new concrete they poured on my running route! I even had time to run last night and chose to balance my checkbook instead......Hang in there.... We all go through this and hopefully it will go away soon!!!
Posted by: Anne | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 8:02 AM
I think that just getting out the door no matter how crappy you feel at home is a huge boost. I also agree with ali in that you cannot look at where you need to be on race day because it looks impossible (at least for me anyways). But looking at your long run and going, "Ok, but that's just one more mile than last week, I can do that"good luck!
Posted by: LeahC | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 7:39 AM
Totally understand, been there more times than I can count!I felt the same way in January after barely running 5k a week in December, but once I got the first week of training over, the running bug came back. Sometimes it helps to look at just the next week, instead of the next 3 months, baby steps.And you know you can do it ... you've done it before
Posted by: ali | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 9:19 AM
I say "go with it"- better to rest now than to be burning out halfway into your marathon training. I really think it is just as important to rest your body (& mind) as it is to train...I know too many people to try to jump from one race to the next and get burned in the middle of training for something big...sticking to a strict schedule for months and months is tough- take time to "not" stick to one too! My 2 cents...
Posted by: Jennifer | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 9:37 AM
That sounds about right. You know what the best thing to do when you don't feel like running is? You RUN! Leave your GPS doodad at home, if you feel like it. Forget about timing yourself, forget about distance. Just run, like a kid.Wake up, put on your training clothes and shoes, and just get in your car. Probably, the whole time, you'll be thinking "I don't want to do this". But, your car will automatically drive you to the track, you'll get out and think, "I REALLY don't want to do this today". Then, you warm up, stretch, and start off, and after the first mile, you'll be fine. Then, you'll get back in your car and think, "I'm so glad I did that."
Posted by: bitweever | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 12:18 PM
you are hilarious. you'll be fine -- especially once kk gives you your two month routine!
Posted by: Josh | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 10:19 AM
In the famous words of Nike and your boss....."Just do it."
Posted by: Anonymous | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 4:36 PM
IronWil once said that the first 10 minutes of everything suck. I chant that to myself over and over again on mornings I just can't stand to workout. Pretty soon, more than 10 minutes have gone by and I haven't even thought about how much I didn't want to do this. Don't worry about speed. You have already proven to yourself you can run 26.2 miles. This is your chance to fix all the little mistakes you made the first time. Not enough water, more base training, more food, etc.
Posted by: Keryn | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 4:11 PM
Obviously you are not alone, and I know I believe that you can do it. You will be better then fine, I think you just realize this is really your last chance to rest up a bit. I think it is a hangover from the 10k in the cave.
Posted by: Bob | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 6:51 PM
Two things: 1) I'm late, so you already broke the non-running spell without my advice--shockingand 2) what they all said. I got into work yesterday late, it was cold, I had to run for 45 min, didn't feel like it, told someone, and he said, just go out and run one mile, just for the discipline. So I went out and ran 3.5. And now, you have too!
Posted by: jeanne | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 10:07 AM
Wow, can I relate to that one.....my new plan is try and get out the door, not even thinking about running. I figure that if i can get my clothes on and get out the door I will start walking and think "this is dumb why an I walking, everyone will think I am a walker...that isn't cool" If you need more excueses i have a ton of them. My favorite is I am hundgry and i can't run after I eat.
Posted by: Fast Eddy | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 1:43 PM
Been there, done that. I took something like 4 weeks off after my first marathon.I am fighting a cold and have taken the past three days off. Since I have a 15K race on Saturday, I'm debating whether to rest (should) tomorrow, or run as I need the exercise day for my health program at work.
Posted by: Tom | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM
DATE: 5:29 PM
You;ll get back into it!! Just make a plan and follow it and you'll be in top form before you know it!
Posted by: Rae | July 4, 2006 8:03 PM