Little Miss Runner Pants

i get a mini-vacay, and i can't explain to you my excitement! not just about who i'm going to get to see, or where i'm going to get to go... but just the prospect of being away. just for a little bit.

*sigh*

its heavenly.

i'm leaving tonight to fly to Austin, Tx. 5 days. i have 5 days... 5 amazing days of not being here. and its not that here is so bad... its just that here is here. and i don't want to be here right now. i want to be.... there!

and so i'm going. going to see Army Wife, who's husband deploys today... going to see Sunglasses Girl... the oh so beautiful Sunglasses Girl herself who i just miss...

and Texas Boy.

who... well its Texas Boy. i needn't say much else.

and so i'm taking Nic's game and inviting you all to play while i'm away!

Six Questions. everyone gets six questions...

one about each category... you ask i answer.

1.) about friends
2.) about sex
3.) about music
4.) about drugs
5.) about love
6.) about anything...

ha. she's right. its a little nerve-racking, but nothing i wouldn't probably write about anyway, so... have at it.

so, until i return, i wish you all fast runs and easy recoveries... to everyone racing this weekend, know i'll be thinking of you sunday morning, good luck to you and have FUN...

and... to everyone else... i'll catch ya on the flip side!

Posted by a.maria at 07:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

as promised, pics of the hair, before and after.

however, as a little disclaimer.... i just have to say, taking photos of yourself and not feeling like a complete buffoon.... is tough. taking photos of yourself and not actually looking like a complete buffoon??! even tougher.

so, i give you my before, and my after. pardon the blurriness... i, apparently, don't so much have a steady hand!

(pictures removed!)

Posted by a.maria at 04:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (39) | TrackBacks (0)

IronBenny has posted his Ironman run re-cap.

and its intense. and scary. and inspiring... all at the same time.

so if you haven't already, head over and do yourself a favor... read this amazing tale of one man that pushed and pushed and finally crossed that line, now to be an IRONMAN forever!

Posted by a.maria at 06:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

25 seconds in 2 months is... well.... just...

no.

normally someone saying something like this to me... "you can't"... its not pretty. i retaliate, like a crazy woman, channeling the latina hell-fire rage with-in, and set out to prove them wrong.

no. not to prove them wrong. but to annihilate them with their own wrong-ness. to destroy. to.... nullify their existence. (ooh! fun with dictionaries. okay. moving on.)

point being... nobody tells me i can't do something. ever. because nothing motivates me more.

strangely, though... this time?! i just took it.

i listened to this very knowledgeable, very kind, very generous runner who genuinely was trying to help... who did, in fact help... but i listened to all the reasons why 4:59:59 is out of reach, and i said...

yeah. okay. i'll just shoot for 5:15 or something...

just like that. giving up on my goal because... someone else told me i set it too high.

i know, right? what happened to A. Maria, conquerer of all???!?

apparently, she was on vacation.

thankfully, though... i have Texas Boy.

Texas Boy is..... well. he's.... Texas Boy. one of the few people in my life unimpressed with my latina rage. meaning one of the few people in my life unafraid to call me out on my own total and complete bullsh*t.

he's good at it. always has been. and this time was no different.

he listened to my new marathon plan, the advice given to me by the well-meaning runner, paused to reflect on it for a moment, and responded with...

"that's BULLSHIT A. and you know it."

*sigh*
i hate when he calls me out on bullsh*t. not that he does it all the time... but... he does it all the time!

and 10 times out of 10... he's right. so this time... even as i put up a fight, argued that this was the right thing for me, and that i have many years of running ahead of me... i've only been running one year... i don't want to get injured...

even as i made my argument... i knew. its all bullsh*t.

he made his point. i hemmed and hawwed with what about this... what if that....

but in the end, he was right.

since when do i let someone else talk me out of something i know, deep down in my soul, i know i can do. since when am i afraid of failure? since when have i ever, EVER been so scared of something that i just gave up?

since when....? since NEVER. thats not me. thats not who i am or what i'm about. not reaching a goal doesn't crush me, it makes me fight.

i get up, brush myself off, and start again.

that's who i am. that's. who. i. am.

so this week... i trained. i trained with purpose. i took the schedule that well-meaning runner gave me... a good, hard, intense schedule... and i ran. i was focused. determined.

not to prove him wrong though... not for that.

but for me. to remind me. i'm running this marathon for me. not for him. not for Texas Boy. not for my coach...

for me.

so i pushed.

all week long, my mind reeled. 18 miles saturday. 18 miles saturday...... eight. teen. miles.

and i knew. i knew, all week i knew... this run was do or die. i had to find out. i've never really pushed that hard before.. never really wanted to know, really...

but this week was different. this week was for me, and i had to know. had to at least try.

marathon pace.

those 25 seconds.

18 miles of me vs. me. facing off against my own fears. my doubts. my reasons why not.

18 miles. 3 hours. 25 minutes.

i got to the TNT meeting point an hour early. the team was running 8 today, so i was going to get in an early 5. run 8 with the team, and then an easy 5 more after.

my plan went something like 5 miles of 11:30 pace. 8 miles of 11:15. 5 more miles of 11:40.

i've never planned a run before. i didn't know what i was doing. but i figured... hell. worth a shot, right?

the first 5 miles... flew by. i was right on target, without having to really think about it, i was in it. i was in it, ya know? and it felt amazing.

but it was 5 miles. never once today did i let myself think about the entire 18. i was running a series of 11ish miles. thats it. and i just had to do 5 for now.

and i did.

11:02
11:28
11:19
11:28
11:12

56:31... almost a full minute under where i needed to be.

and i was thrilled.

7am rolled around and i met up with my team. Stripe Shirt was there, for the first time in a very very long time, and i was...

i can't even describe my mood. everything was right. the whole morning was just.... good.

we gathered around KK to learn that today.... was hill day. and i? less than pleased.

eff. eff, eff, eff. how am i going to keep pace on HILLS?!?!? gaaaaa--fuuuu--errrr---

phooey.

i was a little skeptical, but i turned back onto the course, and went out with the team. 8 mile loop. hills.

11:15 pace.

daaaaaaaah. FA! foooooo. SHIIIIII... crap.

took a bit for me to warm back up!!

however, after a few miles... i was back in the groove. Stripe Shirt and i were back to our old ways.. playing cat and mouse up the hills and over the flats. it was good to see her.

i was happy again. it was a gorgeous day, i was more or less on target pace-wise.

things were good.

8 miles is a long way. especially after you've run 5 already... so i was waiting for my body's first signs of fatigue. thinking, as i topped each hill, that surely i can't keep this up? this is almost fun... wtcrap is that about?!! but i figured it was best not to dwell...

so. i ran a series of 11 minute-ish miles... and.. life was good.

we rounded out our 8 mile loop, my 13th mile alarm went off, i stopped my watch, glanced down and about fell over.

13 miles.... 2:25:23

11:18
10:56
weird garmin thing* (.25 miles... 2:29)
10:37
11:21
weird garmin thing* (.88 miles... 9:23)
11:15
11:21
weird garmin thing* (.87 miles... 10:04)

i... no. NOPE!. no. there's no way. no. NO....

SS and i finished at the same time, so i turned to her to see if she had what i had...

"hey can you uh... can you check your Garmin to see what pace we ran that? i'm a little confused."

"yeah sure.... uhh.. 11:10 average. wow. good job. you're 5 ahead huh?"

"yeah... i uh.. yeah. cool"... WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU??? omg. i'm doing this. i'm actually doing this. 11:10/pace? thats.. wow. okay.

no, i can do this. yeah... no, yeah. i....

at this point, obviously, i was a bit confused. i hadn't really been pushing that hard. i'd taken walk breaks, in hopes of conserving energy for the last 5 miles

(HA!! yeah right. lets be honest. i'd taken walk breaks because i was tired)..

and i'd definitely slowed on those last few hills...

but..

okay?! sure. 5 miles. one hour... thats like.. 12 minute miles. i can do that. i can... i can do that.

i took a little bathroom break, downed some gatorade, water, gu and was back on the road for 5 more. solo.

this............ is gunna suck.

just like that a wave of doubt rushed over me. my legs were spent. i'd cooled down, so had to work to warm back up, my quads were so, just so very sick of hills, and i was pretty sure i felt the hintings of a blister on the bottom of my foot.

5 miles. 5 miles. just... run 5 miles.

even though you've already DONE 13..... don't.. don't think about that. its 5 miles. FIVE MILES

screw you no its not... its 14-18, and i dont want to RUN ANYMORE!!!!!!! eff this. eff it. i'm tired. god there are so many hills. and i just...

maybe i just can't do this

and with that i knew. this was the test.

and i was failing.

i got to the bottom of yet another hill and realized.. i'm not with the team! i can turn down side streets! side streets don't have hills!

i don't care if this is cheating... whatever. its still getting the distance in... and... I LOVE SIDE STREETS!!!

i was in heaven. somehow i had chosen this mile+ stretch of road that just had the slightest downhill grade, and suddenly miles 14 and 15... i was cruisin.

i was back.

back didn't last long though..

i'd gotten a teensy lost, had to stop a fellow runner for directions, turned down the road ahead and realized..

i still have forever to go.

and i don't know if i can do this.

mile 16... i started to crumble. 2 more miles. 1.7 more miles... 1.5 more miles...

i didn't understand how i wasn't done yet. i saw my time frame for 2 miles go from 30 minutes, to 27... 25.... and i was struggling.

i can do this. i can do this. i have this in me. i have to push.

push, A. get up this hill, and push. stop wasting time. stop letting failure be an option. its not an option. push. you're legs aren't tired. you feel good. push.

i looked at my watch, and it read 16.9 miles. 3:09

i was at a stop light. i quickly did the math in my head, and i knew...

if i really wanted it, i could do it. but how bad do i want it?

and i crumbled. into a ball, on the corner of the street, i stopped my watch, and i crumbled. and i cried. i couldn't breathe i cried so hard. it was everything. it was everything. it was knowing i could do it and wondering if i had it in me. it was the feeling of disappointment that i wasn't done yet mixed with the feeling of joy in that i was almost there. it was how tired, just how tired i was... and knowing i could still go on.

it was me verses me.

and i didn't know how to make it stop.

i dont know how long i was there. 1 minute? 5? no idea. but i stood up, and had to finish that mile. 16.9. if i just went a little more... i'd have one mile left.

so i turned the corner, and ran.

moments later, the mile alarm sounded off, i looked down, and in a rush of emotion realized i had 13 minutes left, stopped my watch, and was overwhelmed.

i needed a minute. i needed a minute to get it all out so that i could take these 13 minutes and finish it.

i'm not sure what thoughts went thru my head. there were a ton. Liver Guy was in the parking lot and asked if i was okay.

"i'm having an emotional breakdown. i have to do one mile in 13 minutes to be on pace."

"13 minutes? you're on pace?!?!?!!!! that's great! you can do that. you can run/walk that in 13 minutes. this is a good emotional breakdown. you can do this!!"

"ha. thanks."

i stood there... and i looked at the road ahead, and i knew what needed to be done, and i knew i had it in me.. i knew.

but i didn't know.

i headed out for that last mile... and a few hundred feet later... had to stop. walk. run. walk. run. walk...

STOP IT AND JUST GO!

my watch just kept ticking down. 13 minutes to finish. 9 minutes to finish. 4 minutes.

17.83... four minutes. okay thats.... .2 miles in 4 minutes. i can.. walk. i can walk

i walked.

what the hell am i doing? RUN!

i ran.

i looked down...

17.92 miles. 2 minutes.

please just let me do this

>>>>BEEP BEEP BEEP....BEEP BEEP BEEP<<<<<

18 miles.

3 hours.

24 minutes.

25 seconds.

i didn't know i had it in me.

but i always knew.

Posted by a.maria at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (33) | TrackBacks (0)

waking up at 4:19.. in the MORNING... to swim?

it's unnatural.
it goes against nature.
it is wrong.

and i would enjoy not having to do it again in the near future.

me and morning don't mesh well. i tend to frown and moan a lot, and the only words in my 4am vocabulary are generally... hmpf. and guh.

however that being said, the rate at which i perk up heading to the pool is a millenia faster than that of when i'm heading to the office.

go figure.

anyway. swimming.

i met my coach at 5am, bright eyed and bushy tailed and was, in all honesty, looking forward to the pool time.

i don't want to boast but... i've been told.... i'm a pretty good swimmer.

i have a nice.... stroke. good form with a casual, quiet brilliance in the water.

so this swimming thing? well.

piece of cake.

i got in the pool, swimming cap... goggles... chit chat with the coach and... i'm off. swimming down and back for KK (coach) so he can take a good look at my technique.

maybe even teach him a thing or two!!

i returned to his end of the pool, ready for his shock and awe at my fish-like abilities... and was greeted with....

1.) you bend your legs when you kick
well... duh.
2.) your butt sinks as a result of this
my butt sinks? how is that even possible?

3.) you swim flat
unaware there was another way to swim
4.) and last but not least... you have an erratic stroke.
boo that. i'm a fish.
5.) however, your arms look pretty relaxed. so thats a good thing.
ha! told ya!

as i stood there listening to everything i needed to work on, i was a little overwhelmed.

rotate my body. pause on my stroke. kick from the hip. keep my legs straight. glide thru the water.

right.

got it.

so i take a big gulp of air, plunge into the water and attempt to swim in a manner that just seemed downright foolish. i felt like i was over-exaggerated, splashing water everywhere with my legs and in the middle of it all...

i just started to laugh.

under. water.

apparently in all that i had to concentrate on, i forgot about the breathing part, and... i basically had some sort of strange rotating hip kicking seizure in the water and had to stop half-lap and collect myself.

this was going to be harder than i'd imagined.

at the end of every length of pool, i'd stop... look at KK with hopeful eyes that asked "did i get it?!" he'd shake his head, laugh, and say... "yeah. that was.... better."

liar.

apparently for me... the kicking thing was going to be a problem. rotating my body was kind fun, cuz it felt ridiculous.. pausing on the stroke helped me breathe a bit... but the kicking?!

no. my head could just not wrap around the task at hand. my swimming went something like..

kickickickick kick from hip! rotate body! kick..... kick.... am i even doing this right? this is retarded!! kickickickick am i bending my legs? are they... is this gliding?... rooooooooootate, pause, turn head, breathe, roooooootate, stroke, pause.. crap i'm totally bending my legs... i can't do all this at the same time. GAH!

repeated over and over again for over half an hour. each length of the pool feeling as though i conquered something.. anything... finding out that in fact... nope. i still suck.

at this point i thought for sure we'd been in the water for at least an hour... i looked at the clock and realized we were barely pushing 15 minutes.

oh dear god.

by the end of our session, however, i was master of the floating butt. no more sinking derriere. my stroke was improved... meaning he could tell i understood what i needed to work on...

and my kick. well, to quote my coach.... "you seem to have landed in some happy medium between my way and your way"...

go figure.

all in all... i had no idea there was so much to think about while swimming. if i had to take a guess, my body rather enjoys its natural erratic behavior.. reigning in all my limbs to work together as one fluid machine?

not easy.

but at least i now know what to work on, right?! and lets face it... swimming? running? all i need now is to forge a working relationship with Ugly Boy Bike and i'm fast on my way to becoming... A. maria... dolphin-like-pedaling-queen-runner-triple-athlete-extraordinaire---girl---person!!!!

HA!.....how 'bout them apples, eh?!!!

Posted by a.maria at 06:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

i know. yes, yes.. i do know. and tomorrow i'll do my best to re-cap this week in training. but for now just know a lot of it has to do with the mental aspect of this marathon. the 5 hour goal i've set up for myself, and a lot of not quite complete thoughts i have that i'm in the process of working out.

granted i normally do that on here... but like i said, april = busy... my mind = even more chaotic than normal (i know, right? a near impossibility) and in hopes of not droning on and on ad nauseum about the whole thing, i'm just trying to sort it all out off screen, so that when i'm finally able to sit down and spell it all out, i'll maybe not ramble as much as usual.

HA! yeah RIGHT. so not gunna happen. rambling is like my thing. but regardless, just know i'm trying to work it all out and that this IS still a running blog and that i DO realize the world doesnt revolve around the length of my hair but that for now...

i'm pretended it does. cuz... i've got only-child syndrome, and its my blog, i'll whine about hair if i want to!

okay. disclaimer finished, on to the advice.

i need new shoes.

pretty much here's the story. i had amazing wonderful yellow Asics GT 2100's and i loved them. they were my look at me i'm a real runner first ever pair of official running shoes and i adored them.

i still adore them.

but then they started wearing out... so i bought another pair, same everything, but in blue.

they were alright.

i ran the marathon in the blue's and i started training this year in the blues. then they started to go so i thought HA! i can go get another pair... in YELLOW! because i become easily attached to such things like shoe color. whatever.

anyway, it was heartbreak city at the store, for i found out 2100's are no more. they're now 2110's. after attempting to go another route (Mizuno's... every "real" runner i know has Mizuno's. i thought maybe i could join their super cool club.

turns out after a few test runs on the treadmill... the club does not want me, and i do not want them. they were... NO GOOD!) i went ahead, and against my better judgement, went with the 2110's. light blue.

and they... just...

not so much.

something was off from the get-go. we didn't mesh well. i thought maybe they just needed to be broken in, but, after many miles and a few months of just general unpleasantness...

2110's have just gotta go.

as of late, my shins kill. when i run my fingers along my shin bone.. they feel bruised.. that is super not cool. the first 3ish miles of any run just out-right BLOWS, my shin muscle... thing... burns. i can barely lift the toe of my left foot off the ground, and after todays run i can officially say, my calf muscles are tightening up.

and this is all a new thing for me.

i had zero of these problems while training last summer.

so?!?! no more Asics for me. bastardo 2110's with the ugly colors. i'm thru with you!

but so now...

what do i do?
i'm guessing.. crossing my fingers... that its my shoes. we don't get a long and my legs are revolting.. but besides that, what do i do!??! and for those of you with super-non-existent arches... do you have any shoe advice for ones i might try?! cuz i'm uber-frustrated at the moment.

i've been stretching. and icing. although... i could up the ice. and... stretching some more. but really, i'm just not sure what the problem is?!

so i come to you my all knowing dear and wonderful RBFamily.

shoes?
shins?
shin...muscle...things?
calves?

any advice you might be able to pass my way would be greatly appreciated! i await your all knowing genius with bated breath and many thanks!

Posted by a.maria at 04:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)

it was hot.

i went home tossing and flipping my hair. looking in the mirror every 5 seconds to try and grasp what i now look like...

.. sunglasses on?! .. oh yeah thats hot.
.. sunglasses resting on head?! ... hells yeah. workin it.
.. toss, flip hair?! .. umm, YEAH!
.. general giddy bouncing around?! .. ha! i knew i'd be super cute with short hair!

i sat around my house, a.maria in full force, imagining the looks of awe and amazement at the new do that would surely abound tomorrow (today) for lets face it folks... my hair = en fuego.

i went to bed thinking to myself i'd wake up a bit early, dab some make-up, fluff my hair, and ya know... conquer the world, find an end to the war, establish harmony and peace between all nations...

normal stuff.

right.
so.

i woke up this morning, an extra 15 minutes early. i did like i always do and ran my hand thru my hair, having completely forgotten during the course of the night, that i'd had it chopped off... i quickly realized what i'd had done, the inevitable hotness that it resulted in and bounded out of bed heading to the bathroom mirror.

oh what in holy hell. omg. what happened. this is...SH*T!

it's been such a long time since i've had short hair, i forgot just how messed it gets over night. with long hair... you dont have to worry about it. it's still pretty much the same in the morning and only takes a few sprinkles of water and a quick blast of air to get it back into shape.

not true with short hair.

really REALLY not true with my hair, apparently, because there was some seriously weird stuff going on up there, and i had a mini-freak.

no. no... this is.. we're okay. this is going to be okay. you watched how she styled it at the salon.. you can do this. this is under the realm of can-do-ness. just... get it wet, and re-blow-dry it straight, and.... it'll be hot.

folks?

not hot, okay? not. hot.

in fact, quite horrible, really.

i stood in my bathroom, gooping product, wetting, drying, re-wetting, round brush, straight brush.. hot air, cold air... dry while standing on my head... dry while shaking head back and forth...

i was some sort of mad woman for a good 20 minutes trying to get my hair back to glorious pantene commercial hotness..

and i? was a failure.

what the H?! WHAT the H... this should not be a difficult thing. i've had hair for like... 26 years. i should be able to handle this.

WHY ISNT THIS WORKING!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

!#$%^ing &%^$^%#^ with the ^%$#&amp;^%*$

%$#&$^#!!!!!

this is bad.

this is very very bad.

so, like any curly-haired person in my situation would do... i said screw it. straight-schmaight. i turned on my tub, put my head under the faucet and basically turned my head into the end of a mop.

i.... am mop head. at least for the next few weeks, while i learn how in holy hell to style my hair (really? they shouldn't let you out of the salon without written instructions... perhaps a video?! on how to style you're now holy crap i didn't know i was getting it cut that short hair... cuz...

yeah.)

i am a mop head.

but, no worries right?! *cringe. sigh..... quadruple sigh*.....all is not lost.

because... repeat after me...

it will grow back. it will grow back. it will..... eventually after many months of ackward lengthed hair and sad sad styling attempts.... it will grow back.

besides... guys dig chicks in baseball caps, right?! i'll just.... wear hats.

lots and lots of hats.

Posted by a.maria at 07:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBacks (0)

"how short?"
"short"

"ok but HOW short, like...shoulders?"
"above my shoulders"
"ABOVE?!... chin?"
"i dunno. chin? maybe chin? i... i don't know. i dont have a picture or anything, i'm just going to let her use her judgement.."

chicago boy and unmarried guy glance at each other. that glance that you give to your friend, when you know your other friend is making a really bad mistake, but you dont want to come out and SAY they're making a mistake, so instead you openly cringe and make the face in hopes of talking bad decision friend out of said mistake.

"WHAT?!?!!!"
"nothing."

"what? whatever y'all. i'm super cute with short hair. you just don't remember because i havent had it in a long time. remember college? i had short hair in college..."

the look.

"ok well that's a bad example. but...whatever. i'm totally cute... seriously. I AM!!!"

"well. you might be cute. but you're not hot."

"i'm not hot WITH long hair"

"well.....

you're definitely not hot without it."

"whatever. shut up. i'm totally cute. i'm chopping it."

"yeah well...its your funeral."

friends are awesome.

@$#%&^!

Posted by a.maria at 08:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (28) | TrackBacks (0)

my blogging updates will be eratic at best.

however... don't be fooled. i'll be here and there and everywhere, keeping up with all you loverlies out there, updating you on chaos around here every chance i get.

but for now... i've got hair that needs to get done, make-up that needs to be removed... and then reapplied... an outfit that needs to be picked, a restaurant that needs to be found and a TNT fundraising even that needs to be attended.

little miss runner pants is little miss where the hell are my keys and holy crap that shirt so doesnt match and WHAT is going on with my curls this is outta control... pants..

so. for now, i wish you all a happy easter weekend and i'll be back bright and bushy tailed sometime next week!

Posted by a.maria at 03:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

i'm sending you elsewhere.

IronBenny, whom some of you may already know, has completed his first Ironman, and his latest post deserves a read. he is truly awe inspiring, and a huge inspiration.

"....Race day changes people, not just the racers. From volunteers to spectators to casual observers. No one is the same after attending an Ironman...."

Posted by a.maria at 04:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

.7 mile 7:21 (yeah i dunno. my garmin did something weird)
Mile 2 11:15
Mile 3 12:25
Mile 4 11:45
Mile 5 12:11
Mile 6 12:05
Mile 7 11:42
Mile 8 11:51
Mile 9 11:17
Mile 10 11:24
Mile 11 11:54
Mile 12 11:48
Mile 13 11:25
.670 9:43 (yeah i forgot to stop my watch)

official chip time 2:34:52/ 11:48 pace

so okay... the race was kinda hilly. from what i hear the full marathon su-UH-ucked, but the half was pretty chill. my knee acted up and kinda freaked me out a bit (is still freaking me out a bit) and the beginning was rough... miles 3-6 the front of my ankles, that tendon thing, yeah, well, i don't think it could have been more painful.. but i ran through it and it was fine by the half-way mark.

i saw my parents, posed for some pics, uber-enjoyed the second half of the race, with most of the pain having taken place in the beginning, and outside of not realizing i was so close to a 2:30 time or else i would have pushed it a bit more.. i'm relatively happy with my performance.

it was, for all intents and purposes, a 13 mile training run with a medal at the end. which... thats cool!

but okay though. here's the thing.

an 11:48 pace doesn't cut it. not for a sub-5 marathon. i need to be at 11:26 average... and over 26.2 miles, we're talking shaving off some serious time.

but i'm right there. i am right. there. i'm staring at 5 hours, eye to eye. and if nothing else, this half demonstrated i've progressed. 6 months ago i was averaging 12:30 miles over this kind of distance... so just that right there tells me i'm moving in the right direction.

and i think for the first time i can look at this marathon and actually feel the intensity rising. i'm excited again.

and i'm not giving myself any excuses. i'm all in. i've got two months people.

we've got two months. two months of serious training. two months of 18, 20, 22 mile runs. better nutrition. better cross-training. more sleep.

(more protein, less chocolate. aww, sad. but serious. and lay OFF the coke already! oy.)

two months.

25 seconds/mile in 2 months.

can i do it?!

there's only one way to find out!!!!

Posted by a.maria at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (32) | TrackBacks (0)

running the st. louis half marathon this weekend.

did i mention that?
no?

okay well.. yeah. i am.

and i need to pack, and i need to find food and i need to shower, balance my checkbook, wash dishes, put away laundry, clean my bathroom and just generally pick up my messy messy apartment.

so, i dont have a lot of time.

but i wanted you to know... this weekend. me. st. louis. half marathon.

i'll be back next week to regale you with photos and stories du jour.

right. so. have a great weekend and i'll catch ya on the flip side!

Posted by a.maria at 05:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (29) | TrackBacks (0)

i dont even wanna TALK about my jayhawks sad state of affairs after the first round.

*sigh*

anyway.. final bracket results are as follows...

nyflygirl..................71
bob's stone cold locks.... 66
coco jumbos................61
rae's little devils........61
illini01...................60
DZA Picks..................60
running 4 beer.............58
dbclaxton..................58
brad's.....................57
bandits....................56
KT.........................55
running jayhawk............54
qcmier.....................52
kurt in boston.............50
jandra.....................46
NCMunchkin.................45
running red sox fan........45
leah c.....................38
jason runs.................27

Posted by a.maria at 11:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

right.

so.

swimming. yes. lets do it.

at about 5:30 this evening i decide it'd be a good time for me to make my way to the pool. check out this swimming thing.. give'er the old college try. i call Chicago Guy, who conveniently has a lap pool in his building, to inform him of my plan.

sounds good. i head over.

Chicago Guy lets me in, i make my way to the pool, and all the while, i'm thinking hells yeah man. i'm going to swim. i will be fish like in the pool, swimming goddess extraordinaire.... dolphin like. and i will. not. drown. because ha-HA! i. am awesome!

(i know, right? where do i get this stuff??)

so i enter the gym and head to the pool area. i walk in, drop my stuff off in the corner, turn around to look in the water and..

oh holy jesus.

one of, and feel me when i say this, one of the most amazingly attractive HOT HOT men i have seen in a very... very long time, is standing in the pool.

eff.

i turn back around to the corner, attmepting to hide the gynormous smile that is now planted square on my face and gather myself. oh no. no,no,no.. i'm supposed to be man free right now. i'm here to swim.. this isn't.. i can't.... i grab my phone and turn back around, catching another glimpse of The Body ooooooooh wow. i...

wow.

immediately, i have to get out of the pool area. IMMEDIATELY. i leave my stuff, and haul ass to the door, phone in hand.

eff, eff, eff, eff. i can't.. i can't swim for the first time EVER in a LAP POOL the size of a ONE LANE HIGHWAY with this.. this just amazingly fantastic gorgeous man in the pool with me. SHIT!

so i call Chicago Guy. obviously. what else is there to do? he doesn't answer, so i book it to the bathroom.. buying myself more time.

finally, Chicago Guy answers his phone.. i tell him of my dilemma and his response is a rather un-empathetic "so.. you can't swim because there's a boy in the pool? just get in there. jeez"

chmm. right. just get in and swim. thats.. i can.. right. thanks for all your help.

hmm.

so i make my way back to the pool, nervous as hell. right. pool. an amazingly hot man. me. i can't see at ALL how this might not turn out in my favor.

bloody hell.

The Body is now in the hot tub so i make a break for it and get in the pool. i take a moment, gather myself, fidget with my goggles, affix them to my eyeballs, and... i'm off.

swimming.

huh. not so bad. i can totally do this

i make my way down and back, down and back, down and back. on my third way back, as i'm turning my head in the water about to breathe, suddenly i see....

legs. BOY legs.

*cough*hack*spew* shit.

i get to the end of the lane, and there he is. Body and all.

"hey!"... "hi"...

we're both standing at the end of the pool. there's silence oh for the love...

i turn to him, mustering every ounce of courage i have to actually speak... "so. you a swimmer?!"

he turns to me.. "no. nah... not really".... "ah..."

silence

"i was a lifeguard for seven years though...."

we get to talking and he asks about my swimming "NOO, no. i'm not a swimmer. i'm just trying to get a feel for the water. i'm thinking about doing a triathlon... so..."

he nods his head, surprised/impressed i can't tell, but then he turns to me..

"well, why don't you swim a little... i'll see if i can give you any pointers"

"....i...uh. HA! umm.. no. NOPE. no, thats okay. i.. no. really.

no."

"oh come on.. you're getting free advice here. people usually pay me for this"

"what?!"
"yeah, i taught swimming lessons for a while. kids and adults.. go for it. just swim.."

"riiiight. right. no i'm good... i... "

@$^$#&!

so i swim. down to the other side of the pool, i stop, catch my breath, and swim back.

i raise my head outta the water, looking at him, waiting for the inevitable "you're terrible" that i feel coming...

"so. that looked good. what's the problem?"

"i..... umm. i dunno. ??"
"well, what do you feel like you're having trouble with?"
"....breathing??"

so he gives me some pointers about lifting my head to the side AND back a little.. er something.. and not kicking too hard..

"how hard are you kicking?"
"umm. i dunno. normal hard?"

"well, if you kick too much, you'll lose too much energy and wear yourself out. you dont need to kick a lot"
"umm. am i kicking too much?"
"nah"...

so at this point, we're conversing. i formally introduce myself, hey hi nice to meet you, all that...

wow. he's really nice. he's like one of those really attractive nice guys that you only hear about in fairytales and romance novels. sweet!

we get to talking and i find out he just got a new job... he's in the process of becoming a personal trainer -no wonder he's in such amazing shape DEAR GOD STOP STARING -... etc. etc.

he's new to the area....SCORE!! maybe he doesn't have any friends and he wants to be my new buddy.

and by buddy i mean personal eye-candy...

and is still just getting to know KC.

"oh really? how long have you been here?"
"seven months. it took a while for me to adjust.. i'm not used to living in the city"
"ooh. so... where are you from then?!"... getting more and more hopeful by the moment...

"idaho"
"IDAho. whuuut? really?! wow, so... wow. what brings you to kansas city from IDAho?!"

"well.... my wife is in @#$^%!#@CRASH.BURN.@$^%$@# medical school so..."

"you're WIFE??!?! wow.. well, wow..

good for her. that's... good for her"

HA!

riiiight. right. goooood. good. he's.. right. so he's MARRIED. good, no.. thats.

yeah. i'm uh.. going home. swimming is uh.. right, so swimming is done.

with that i finish out my last few laps, grab my stuff and shuffle home.

i swear people, if its not one thing... its another. i just can't win for trying.

but hey!! on the bright side??.... at least i didn't drown!!!?!?!

Posted by a.maria at 07:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (29) | TrackBacks (0)

total run time: 3:10:09
distance: 15.94 miles
average pace: 11:56 (not toooooo far off of goal pace!!?!)

splits:

mile 1... 10:33
mile 2... 11:19
mile 3... 11:09
mile 4... 11:33
mile 5... 11:12
mile 6... 10:17
mile 7... 12:24
mile 8... 11:19
mile 9... 13:21
mile 10... 11:49
mile 11... 12:35
mile 12... 12:41
mile 13... 12:53
mile 14... 12:28
mile 15... 13:10 (damn kids)
mile .94... 11:16 (see. i got outta there fast!)

Posted by a.maria at 01:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

ohhhh, my goodness goodness. umm.. where to start.

i love kids. i do. i love them.

.... in theory, i love kids.( i do! i love them! say it again and i'll have you convinced, eh?!) the idea of having children, yes. i've always known i'd want to have kids. a boy and a girl. and maybe another boy. definitely not more than that i dont think i could handle it, but point is...

i not only love (theory) kids, i want kids.

but i want kids off in am-married-and-successful-and-have-a-house-land. i. do not want kids. now.

i dont even want kids soon (because really? i can't hold down a man for more than a few months at a time! i mean first things first, ya know??!?!?)

but i didn't grow up with kids.... i was an only child, my dad's an only child, and my mom's family all lives south of the border. i've never had an opportunity to be around kids.... when i am around kids, unless we're talking my (not by blood) nephew (best friend's son) whom i adore i'm more like one of those....yeah... uh.. ha-ha-ha. look at that small (running around causing havoc) child. isn't he.... cute....!!!?!?!

i freeze up a bit, i'm not entirely sure what i'm supposed to have in common with said child, so therefore i never know what to say to them, i never played barbies or dolls growing up so when i'm asked to have tea or some such thing.. i, like i said... i'm. well.

out of my element.

why am i telling you this?! because i need for you to understand who i am. i'm more of a Carrie Bradshaw when it comes to kids. or... a Samantha Jones. hell, a Miranda, for that matter.

i like my life, i like my freedom, i like not having to change diapers, wipe noses, buy mashed peas. i don't coddle children, i'm not one of those girls that goes all mushy at a 5 year old, and i certainly have no desire to have a child of my own in the next... lets say... 5 years.

not that there's anything wrong with having a child at my age, obvioulsy, its just a desire for a different type of lifestyle.. a choice. a choice that i've made, and.. thats that.

so.

today was a scheduled 16 mile run... two 8-mile out-and-backs, at 6 am. fine. whatever. training. blah.

so we start out, and i decide, after various conversations with myself in the past few days, that part of my problem has been consistency. i've been running with Liver Guy, he runs faster than i do, i therefore lose steam early on, and the entire run kinda goes to hell.

so i gave myself a goal... not a time goal, a pace goal. i wanted my average pace to be right at 11:40 for the run... basically at marathon pace. just to see.

i'd keep an eye on my watch, and i'd do my best to run a consistent 16 miles.

starting at 6 am, there were, of course, no people out and about in the parks. but in the 3+ hours we were out on the trails, the fields were slowly being taken over by kids. kids playing soccer, kids playing baseball, kids... playing. and their parents and their coaches, dogs, family, you name it.

no big deal, i see this all the time, never thought twice about it.. kids.. whatever... running.

today though... today was different.

as i rounded the corner out of the trees into the open fields i saw, up ahead, a soccer game. kids playing in their little jerseys, running around infront of their parents, who are huddled together on the side-lines in their folding chairs and blankets... coaches running, willy-nilly, around the field, attempting to instruct the kids as they kicked and ran up and down, up and down..

and as i neared, closer and closer, to the game, i slowed... without even thinking, i slowed to a walk. i watched the kids, i watched the parents... the brothers and sisters of the soccer players in the adjacent field playing tag or some such game, laughing, screaming, running, jumping...

and out of nowhere, i heard myself think...

awwwwwwwwww. omg how cute!! i want little kids!! look how, awww, look how omg adorable they are... kid goes SCREAMING across my path on the trail oh!! oh my!! hee hee.. look... awww. omg i totally want my kids to play soccer look how cute they are, and i can go out on saturday mornings, and watch them play, and me and... phantom-husband-man... will cheer them on, and bring orange slices for the team and......

OHHHH. MYYYY. GAWWWWD.

what??!?! WHAT??!?! i suddenly catch myself having almost come to a stop to watch the kids play, and i flip. wtf? wtf am i doing? omg. omg get the eff outta here, wtf? i dont want KIDS. WHAT???!?! no. no. no. bad kids. bad. omg get me the eff outta here, get outta here. RUN dammit... RUNNNNN!! and with that i took off, finishing out my last mile as quickly as possible in hopes of getting the crap away from those children.

afterwards, of course, i drove home and there were kids everywhere. riding bikes. dads playing baseball with sons. moms out for a run with their little jogging strollers.

everywhere i turned... children. cute children.

its sick i tell you. sick.

somehow in that 16 mile run i turned into Charlotte. the wanter of all things family. and i will be having none of it!!

so tonight, i'll be channeling my Carrie, my Samantha AND my Miranda. in skinny jeans and strappy sandals, in hopes of talking some sense into my Charlotte.

cuz there will be no BABIES coming from ME any time soon!

you got that Charlotte!!!??!? none!

Posted by a.maria at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)