it will grow back. it will grow back. it. WILL. GROW. BACK.
it was hot.
i went home tossing and flipping my hair. looking in the mirror every 5 seconds to try and grasp what i now look like...
.. sunglasses on?! .. oh yeah thats hot.
.. sunglasses resting on head?! ... hells yeah. workin it.
.. toss, flip hair?! .. umm, YEAH!
.. general giddy bouncing around?! .. ha! i knew i'd be super cute with short hair!
i sat around my house, a.maria in full force, imagining the looks of awe and amazement at the new do that would surely abound tomorrow (today) for lets face it folks... my hair = en fuego.
i went to bed thinking to myself i'd wake up a bit early, dab some make-up, fluff my hair, and ya know... conquer the world, find an end to the war, establish harmony and peace between all nations...
normal stuff.
right.
so.
i woke up this morning, an extra 15 minutes early. i did like i always do and ran my hand thru my hair, having completely forgotten during the course of the night, that i'd had it chopped off... i quickly realized what i'd had done, the inevitable hotness that it resulted in and bounded out of bed heading to the bathroom mirror.
oh what in holy hell. omg. what happened. this is...SH*T!
it's been such a long time since i've had short hair, i forgot just how messed it gets over night. with long hair... you dont have to worry about it. it's still pretty much the same in the morning and only takes a few sprinkles of water and a quick blast of air to get it back into shape.
not true with short hair.
really REALLY not true with my hair, apparently, because there was some seriously weird stuff going on up there, and i had a mini-freak.
no. no... this is.. we're okay. this is going to be okay. you watched how she styled it at the salon.. you can do this. this is under the realm of can-do-ness. just... get it wet, and re-blow-dry it straight, and.... it'll be hot.
folks?
not hot, okay? not. hot.
in fact, quite horrible, really.
i stood in my bathroom, gooping product, wetting, drying, re-wetting, round brush, straight brush.. hot air, cold air... dry while standing on my head... dry while shaking head back and forth...
i was some sort of mad woman for a good 20 minutes trying to get my hair back to glorious pantene commercial hotness..
and i? was a failure.
what the H?! WHAT the H... this should not be a difficult thing. i've had hair for like... 26 years. i should be able to handle this.
WHY ISNT THIS WORKING!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!
!#$%^ing &%^$^%#^ with the ^%$#&^%*$
%$#&$^#!!!!!
this is bad.
this is very very bad.
so, like any curly-haired person in my situation would do... i said screw it. straight-schmaight. i turned on my tub, put my head under the faucet and basically turned my head into the end of a mop.
i.... am mop head. at least for the next few weeks, while i learn how in holy hell to style my hair (really? they shouldn't let you out of the salon without written instructions... perhaps a video?! on how to style you're now holy crap i didn't know i was getting it cut that short hair... cuz...
yeah.)
i am a mop head.
but, no worries right?! *cringe. sigh..... quadruple sigh*.....all is not lost.
because... repeat after me...
it will grow back. it will grow back. it will..... eventually after many months of ackward lengthed hair and sad sad styling attempts.... it will grow back.
besides... guys dig chicks in baseball caps, right?! i'll just.... wear hats.
lots and lots of hats.
Comments
DATE: 9:47 AM
Show it off, I for one, love short hair on girls, have fun with it, no need to freak out.Just be happy you have hair, unlike me, who due to horrible gene pool, started balding in my late teens.
Posted by: Djgoldnboy | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:00 AM
give yourself time to get used to styling it! It sounds like you really liked it after leaving the salon, so with practice you should be able to do what the stylist did....
Posted by: LeahC | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:56 AM
come on now ... i'm sure it's perfectly fine. You're just going through an adjustment period. I'm sure it's perfectly, perfectly fine.
Posted by: Josh | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:32 AM
okay not really the point, but this entry was totally hilarious. I mean, hot or not, (and I'm sure you're still hot with short hair) your writing cracks me up.
Posted by: Noames | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:23 AM
this always happens to me. my hair looks pretty crappy short b/c i have wavy hair that gets even wavier when it's short (no weight to pull it down). SO, my school friends told me to use a straightening iron...and it worked. it restored salon quality short hair and it's a heck of a lot easier to do than wetting/blow drying/curling under with a round brush. i have not mastered that...
Posted by: Audrey | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:06 AM
chicks in baseball caps are sexy. and first Josh loses the 'fro. now you chop your locks. I guess it is my turn. the head might just get shaved b/f saturday's run. but way to go. I am sure it looks better than you think.
Posted by: Kevin | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:48 AM
OK, just how short is it?Like pixie cut short, ear length, shoulder length?Just take the weekend and teach yourself how to make it look good. An extra 15 mins before work wont work...It will get better....-EJM
Posted by: Anonymous | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:43 AM
What they all said. It will grow back.But it will also settle. Cutting hair shocks it -- but once it settles, you'll be back to the Pantene hotness, trust me. Whenever I get my hair cut and colored, it rebels for about three days until it's managable again.
Posted by: Heather | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:40 AM
Oh yes. Running chicks in baseball caps. Hot.Pics?
Posted by: Jon in Michigan | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:28 AM
I like the baseball cap look...(i hate to even mention the fact that i......told ya so...)Just joking, I am sure you are nutting out for no reason...SHOW US!!!
Posted by: Flatman | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:05 AM
sweet... baseball cap on chick = hotness. unless it's a yankees or dodgers cap. you'll also have to get one of those cool running caps i always see people wearing that i'll never have because i don't run.
Posted by: J | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:14 PM
a.mar - I'm totally with ya . . . mine gets long and i chop it off and totally hate it . . . i repeat this pattern often . . . i'm sure you are still hot with short hair - how could you not be?
Posted by: Susan | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:11 PM
Hmmm... I should have mentioned this before you went and got the cut. Go to someone who is trained in either the Sassoon method or dry-cutting. The method is a difficult one to learn so not many people do it. BUT... if they know how to do it, they finish the cut when your hair is dry - without blowing it straight. That way it falls right into place - they use the natural tendency of your hair when dry - you can just blow dry it and fluff it with your fingers. Also, when you take off the hat, it falls right into place. Come to Boston. I will take you to see Christopher.At any rate,I am sure it looks fine. You just have to get used to the touseled hair look. Meg Ryan had it and she looked really cute. :o)
Posted by: J | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:02 PM
ooooooohhh. bandanas. i could SO rock that look! thanks junebug!
Posted by: a.maria | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 12:24 PM
I so agree about the written instructions when you leave the salon. I always look longingly at a new cut and think, "Drink it in now because it will never look this good again!"I'll bet you look adorable. Short mop top is hot. Count me in as wanting pics, please.
Posted by: 21st Century Mom | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 12:22 PM
i dont want to burst your bubble, but when i had short short hair and i wore a baseball cap, i was always mistaken for a lesbian (what THA?)now that i have grown it out shoulder length and wear a cap, yeah what they all said!!! bandanas are cool tho!!!and dont worry you'll be fine! just practice at home at night a few nights! you'll get it!!
Posted by: JustJunebug | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:49 AM
Women in baseball caps....SCHWINGGGG!!!
Posted by: Haight | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:40 AM
Love the post, but, we need pictures. :) We need to judge hot or not. ;)
Posted by: Bob | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 6:16 PM
In two weeks you'll be back to the "super hot" impression. I ALWAYS freak out after I get a hair cut.
Posted by: Habeela | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 3:54 PM
I'll bet you look adorable. But remember: you are *not* your hair!!
Posted by: susie | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 3:01 PM
It can't be THAT bad...oh wait...you didn't get...BANGS, did you?!? *L* I bet it's super cute, just like you, but you have to get used to it.
Posted by: Mia Goddess | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 2:40 PM
Ay yi yi...and I was almost decided positive for sure that I was going to go shorter with my long curly locks this summer. Now I'll probably wimp out yet again:Yeah, about four inches off. NO. Wait...maybe two and a half or so... actually, nooo. How 'bout just the ends. Yeah, that's good, just clean off the split ends there.
Posted by: Chelle | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 2:39 PM
you have curly hair, as do i. all I can say is: buy every curly hair product in the store, try 'em all, and one of them will work! No way would I spend time straightening and blowing my hair dry! 5 minutes, tops!!And yes, pix, please.And yes, it WILL grow.You are still hot. Hotness is all attitude, babe.
Posted by: jeanne | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:35 PM
ok, breathe chica... brrreeaaattthhheeeee. you will be fine.just practice styling it tonight. you will be ok. no we can never be as hot as when we leave the salon (even my hairdresser says "i can't even fix my own hair, i have to come in here to get it done") but with a little playing, you'll figure it out.i am sure you are still hot.pictures please.
Posted by: mipper | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:27 PM
Yeah. There is more than hair to hotness.Post a pic and everyone will agree.Besides short hair is much cooler as a runner.
Posted by: Joe B | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 6:45 PM
DO NOT FREAK! Give it two weeks, haircuts suck for two weeks after you get them... you're still gawgeous... no worries.
Posted by: Wil | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 12:34 PM
Thanks for saying hi. I'm sure the new cut is cute. Where are the pics.? :)
Posted by: april anne | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:56 AM
I haven't heard a hair freak-out like that since I lived at home. My sister used to go through that every 10-12 months. Grow it out, get frustrated with it, cut it off, freak out. Rinse, repeat.Mrs. Pol just had quite a bit of length cut, so I'll let you know if you have a sister in freaking. So far, all seems okay.
Posted by: Iron Pol | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:23 AM
OHHHHH...I SO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I have super-d-duper curly hair. I love it straight, but hate taking the time to do it. Over a month ago, I was like I need a cut and maybe some fun side swept long bangs. I LOVED it when I left the salon so much. I HATED it when I let it go curly. So I just straighten it now until the length comes back. I do like the side bangs though, even when curly. I'd LOVE to see a pic!! C'mon SHOW US! :)Don't worry, it WILL grow back. Everyday that goes by, it is growing. Plus, you may learn to like it straight too. I have the BEST flat iron and it saves my life. :)
Posted by: Tara | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:19 AM
I know exactly what you mean about the morning after short hair disaster. I almost had a panic attacked about three weeks ago when I hacked off mine! But after about a week I learned how to deal with it. You will too! Good luck!!!
Posted by: Jess | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 8:52 AM
Yep, chicks in caps are hot! Get yourself a Mail Pouch tobacco hat. Hell, start chewing Mail Pouch! In just a few weeks, your teeth will be brown. All because you flipped out over a short haircut. I bet you look great with the short hair, it's just that you want straight and that's not what you have. Try this some day - wet hair, put strong gel on, comb flat, air dry, comb again. For me, this works, but if you have super curly hair, maybe no.BTW - I think you're pretty enough to be able to get away with the shaved head, so short should be a total non-issue.
Posted by: Scooter | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM