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joking....right?!

you. have got. to be kidding. me.

seriously.....

SERIOUSLY?!?!?

*sigh*

so last night was packing night. being the professional procrastinator that i am, i still had some laundry to do before i could gather everything together for the weekend. however, because i'm a genius, i forgot to get quarters for the laundry and had only enough for one load.

one. load.

okay fine. naw.. this is fine. i'll just..... i'll just wash everything i want to take together and forget about the rest. i'll mix loads. no big deal....

obviously mistake number one.

i go thru my (several) piles of laundry to sort thru what all i want to take on my trip..

fave linen pants?! check and check... wait. do i need both?! ah what the hell.. sure.

fave banana shirt?!?! umm... okay yeah. got it.

skirt? t-shirts? other random articles of clothing?!...........check check and check.

right. so my favorites of everything, my eight quarters... i'm all set.

an hour+ later i'm pulling everything out of the dryer and...

no.... no, no, no. what is that?! what is... pink? what's pink? what is..... omg no. please tell me no. NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo. no. no. omg no.

little pink grease spots from my now melted chapstick, on..... everything. oh and i do mean everything. RUINED! my entire load of laundry.. of all my favorite lounging weekend items....... ruined.

you've got to be kidding me. no. no, please tell me no. NO. omg. omg. OMG OMG OMG what am i going to do OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

dammit! why does this crap always happen to me?!

i freak. a small coniption, nothing major... but definitely a few minutes of standing in my apartment, my eyes darting here and there, wondering, what... just WHAT in the hell i'm supposed to do now. out of quarters, nothing to wear.

@#$%*!

in my panicked state i start to search, frantically, for my SHOUT stick. no. nope. not happening. this is fine. its FINE! i can do this. i'll just..........

i'll shout it out. i will SHOUT IT OUT. just like the commercials say. it'll be fine. i'll be fine. i just...

shit. quarters. i have to find more quarters.

a good hour passes, i've turned my apartment upside down to find 8 more quarters, but i've done it. i've got my quarters, i've got my shout stick.... i can do this. i. can do. this.


finally, many hours later, by bag is packed. the pink stains are nowhere to be found, i have my linen pants back, my skirts... we're good. it's all good.

i lay out one of the pair of pants, my slightly older, slightly more loved (read:: worn out) pair for the next day's outfit, and i finally, finally catch some sleep.

this morning's alarm sounds off, i snooze for probably 10 mintues too many, get up, shower, breakfast... and i'm out the door.

well. i'm almost out the door. i grab my purse. my carry-on. my suitcase. my bag of fruit (don't ask) and i'm heading to the door. all i need are my keys.

where are my keys?

oh. of course. on the floor next to the door... i turn off the lights, cut the a/c... walk to the door, reach down to grab my keys, and...

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.


........................................?!

ha-haha....HAHAHAHAHA-hahhaaha....haa

laughing, uncontrollably...

you've got to be kidding me. YOUHAVEGOTTOBEKIDDINGME!!!!!!! tell me this is not happening....

i set my bags down, bend over to get a better look....

sure enough. my worn, torn, very much loved linen pants?!?! BIG ole hole running through the uh.. the crotchal area.

yeah... yup. thats about right. of course. OF. COURSE. because... i have no clean clothes. everything i want to wear is packed... no, yeah. yup.

definitely.

*sigh*

i set everything down, peruse the closet for a good 10 minutes attempting to find something... anything to wear, and settle on an old skirt.

fine, whatever...

and make my way to the elevator.....

to find that it's not working.

MUTHER @#$^!-ER!!!

with complete and utter disbelief at my situation, laughing, like a mad woman, and babbling to myself about how just absolutely ridiculous the morning has turned out to be.... i walk to the other side of the building, down the four flights of stairs, and very, very carefully, drive myself to work.

*sigh*

eight more hours until lift-off.


Lord help.

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Comments

DATE: 10:33 AM
FUNNY!!!God, this is just hilarious. Please forgive me but I sat here in my cubicle and when I read "riiiiiip" I caused some serious prairie dogging in my section.I can't stop laughing.Have a good race and feel good that you are getting all your "shit happens" out of the way early.


DATE: 10:06 AM
Calm down, take a big breath and keep going, you're almost on the plane. You'll be fine!

DATE: 9:58 AM
Big Massive Hugs to you!! Just get to the airport in one piece. That's all...and for the love of all that is good, you did pack all of your race gear in your carry on, right? At the race your day is going losing your luggage would be the icing on the cake!! Hang in there....the day is half over!!

DATE: 9:49 AM
Nothing like some drama to see you off to a great weekend in SD.Relax once you get on the plane, because there is really nothing more you can do once they close that door. :)

DATE: 9:22 AM
classic AJ, classic.btw, i saw a lot of talk about lounge wear... not a lot of talk about running wear/gear.a word to the wise is usually sufficient.


DATE: 8:53 AM
ahhhh shit. i just remembered i forgot to return some movies that are due...TODAY.bollocks. WILL THIS DAY NEVER END?!?!?!?!

DATE: 8:46 AM
Reminds me of this joke (which you can't tell, for reasons that'll be obvious):I got up this morning and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. The handle broke off my toothbrush.I poured my morning coffee. Then I picked up my mug to drink it and the mug plummeted to the table, leaving the handle in my hand.As I went to leave for the office, I grabbed my briefcase and one end of its handle came off.I'll be damned if I'm going to the bathroom today!May the rest of your day be better!

DATE: 8:30 AM
I am cracking up! Actually, I'm laughing with you, not at you!Good luck this weekend! You can do it!!!

DATE: 8:47 PM
I don't know about everyone else, but I've been there and I wasn't laughing. Hang in there.Have fun in San Diego!!!

DATE: 7:41 PM
Oh you're just getting all of the crap out of the way now so the rest of the trip will be smooth sailing. Enjoy the marathon!

DATE: 2:23 PM
Haha... I thought I was the only one those stupid things happened to! Nice to know I have company :)Good luck in San Diego... Kick some marathon arse! :))

DATE: 2:14 PM
hilarious. only could this happen to you. thank god for shout, eh? we'll be watching and praying for ya. You'll be GREAT!!! can't wait to hear all about it!

DATE: 12:40 PM
i am so sorry but that was some funny shit right there!!


DATE: 12:30 PM
hbahaha!!! you are too funny. I like the searching through the clothes for the ones you like. excellent. good luck this weekend. We'll be thinking of ya!

DATE: 12:30 PM
I remember the days of rolls of quarters and I feel your pain--or maybe that is just the stitch in my side as I laugh uproariously at your post. Had I put down the hydration an instant too late, I would now be in need of a new monitor upn reading " riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip."

DATE: 10:52 AM
Oy, I feel your pain.but you passed it on to me! I'm sitting here reading your very funny story and I managed to glop a HUGE spoonful of yogurt down my front. GAH! :)Hopefully this is the end of things that go wrong! Have a great time! And, good luck!

DATE: 2:39 PM
A word of advice: don't operate heavy machinery this weekend.What a great and funny post!!Stay tuned...

DATE: 12:01 PM
you know you make me wanna shout...hilarious!!!!good luck!

DATE: 11:13 AM
Yep, that is what I'm looking at for my evening now...See you in SD!


DATE: 10:05 AM
haight is right. you'd make the best sitcom. you are your own sidekick.have a great flight and see you on saturday!

DATE: 9:18 AM
If there are any television producers out there reading this blog, I think you should consider casting A. Maria for an upcoming sitcom. I can see it now.... "First there was Lucy Ricardo... then Elaine Benes...then Grace Adler...now see the wacky A. Maria starring in the new hit comedy series "Little Miss Runner Pants".See how she tackles the world thru her many adventures which include swimming lessons...fireman encounters...haircuts...travel preperations...and of course marathon training.Thursday nights 9:30pm est/8:30pm cst...right after 'My Name is Earl' on NBC"

DATE: 8:52 AM
Glad it is almost over for you!! Good luck this weekend!! Cheer runnerSusan on for me!!

DATE: 7:51 AM
And Mrs. Pol won't let ME do the laundry (the capri pants turned shorts was a fluke, I say, complete FLUKE).I can only say one thing. It's a good thing you're running the marathon and I'm running the triathlon. Swimming might be ill advised with the way your day has gone.


DATE: 10:16 PM
At least the pink stuff came out! Yikes, what a day...I'm moseying on over here from Running Jayhawk's blog to say GOOD LUCK for your marathon!

DATE: 5:42 PM
Now you are facing the challenges you were waiting on.

DATE: 5:07 PM
Good luck in SD!!!! You will do great!


DATE: 1:33 PM
i totally forgot about san diego till my sister reminded me today. she works at the convention center and went down to check out the expo. say hi if you see her!!!and good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

DATE: 12:19 PM
Good luck and have fun this weekend! Loved this post :)

DATE: 9:57 PM
omg, it's almost here!!! hope you made it to san diego without any more troubles. see ya there!!!

DATE: 9:34 PM
Haha, that kind of stuff seems to always happen to me too, but you just have to laugh it off sometimes. Good luck in the marathon!p.s. I'm a new running blogger

DATE: 6:53 PM
Too too funny. Sounds like you've worked out every kink possible. Marathon day is destined to be flawless.


DATE: 3:34 PM
It must be this marathon. I got transporation to the shuttle to get to the airport and realized when I got to the airport I had sat in Coke or tea (geez, I hope that's what it was...) but it was brown and on my pants...you guessed it...right on my butt...so here I am, this girl with way too much luggage tring to not let anyone see her butt while she digs around in a suitcase on the sidewalk to get clean pants.But, I made it here in one piece! Yahoo!! Hope I get to meet some RBFers while I'm here!!

DATE: 4:10 PM
run like the wind!

DATE: 2:52 PM
OMG. I'm sorry, but that is so funny! That's the kind of shit that would happen to me. I was horrified at the pink chapstick, glad you were able to SHOUT it out, and just when I thought it was going to be all better, your pants rip. Arrgghh!Have a GREAT marathon!

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