make it stop.
the firemen came, one actually fell on top of me in the stairwell (i kid you not. and he was so beautiful, this man... but we passed each other in the stairwell, me heading to the street, him heading to the top floor of the building... he lost balance when taking one of the stairs and toppled right on top of me. if i'd have had my wits about me i'd have tried to turn it into a how you doin'?! situation, but alas, my wits were not with me, and the beautiful, tanned, toned bodied man with the great smile and i... we were not to be. but i digress)
the firemen came. and went. they declared the building fire-less... and sent me back inside.
yet the fire alarm continues.
finally after about 20 minutes of this, i pulled out my Loft information and found the one and only number for after-hour maintenance. the firemen mentioned something of having to call them to reset the alarm, but i'd figured someone else had surely done that by now.
surely?!
apparently not. @ $ ^ * # !
so i call the number. the conversation went something like this...
"hello"
"uhhh, yeah. hi. has anyone called you about the fire at the >insert name of my apartment building here< yet?!?!
"umm.. no. i don't believe so"
"okay. well... yeah. the fire alarm here has been going off for over half an hour. the firemen came and went, but said they can't reset the thing... so..........
"mm-hmm. and what's your name?!"
"a.maria..blah blah"
"and your phone number"
okay this is weird, why does she need all of this information?!
"uh... ###.###.####"
"and would you consider this an emergency?"
"WHAT?!!? i.. what? i don't know. i mean...."
"are you or is the building under direct threat?"
wft?
"um..........no. but.......the fire alarm? i just want the fire alarm turned off."
"so this is not an emergency?"
"???????"
"is this something that could wait until normal business hours?"
what is wrong with her? what is wrong with people. there is something wrong with people. they are WRONG. what is WRONG with them omg i'm losing my ever-loving mind.
"no. no, it can't wait, don't you... do you... here. listen to this"
i open my door to the hallway and stick my phone out the door.
"don't you hear that?
"well yes, ma'am..."
"okay. well....!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! i just want someone to turn it OFF. its been almost an hour."
at this point she keeps asking if i would call this an emergency. she's asking me in such a way that has me uber-paranoid, and i don't know what to say... why did she want my name? my number? does she think i set the alarm? what if something happens? i just said there was no fire.. what if there is and they turn it off and there's an explosion? what if i have to testify in court? all because i said it was an emergency....
"i... well. i mean its not like life or death.. but its the alarm?! so... i mean...
finally the woman cuts thru the red-tape and tells me "see the thing is, ma'am, i can't page this out unless you SAY it's an emergency. i myself can't do that... so.
is this an emergency?"
oh for pete's sake this is absolutely ridiculous..
"yeah. yeah its a super emergency. its a big one. emer-gency. yeah. sure."
"ok ma'am. i'll page this out for you."
"great. thanks"
that was entirely too complicated. especially because?!?!?!
its now 10:25. and the damn thing is STILL going off.
someone shoot me.
Comments
DATE: 7:53 AM
lurved this post AJ!'what is wrong with her? what is wrong with people. there is something wrong with people. they are WRONG. what is WRONG with them omg i'm losing my ever-loving mind.'was my favorite.
Posted by: Bolder | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 3:37 PM
Nah we won't shoot you, how bout we just shoot the friggin alarm.At least you met a hunky fireman, even if only for a moment!
Posted by: Dawn (aka Pink Lady) | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 8:03 PM
Is it an emergency if you're in your apartment and wanting to sleep and can't because a fire alarm is sounding? That's the question I'd have asked. To any rational person, the answer is "yes." Some idiot writes a manual and says, "the person reporting must use the word emergency to describe the situation" or you must not do anything about it. It's another case of some dope refusing to think. (Oh, and how did you I-pod holder work?)
Posted by: Scooter | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 6:11 AM
there's a stupid epidemic. no kidding. But the best part of the story was the fireman falling on you. I woulda milked that encounter a bit more, grasshopper.
Posted by: jeanne | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 10:28 AM
i totally feel your pain...but next time a cute fireman lands of top of you...do us all a favor and ask him to see his firehose. ;)
Posted by: Running Jayhawk | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 10:53 AM
i bet the fireman fell on top of you on purpose. that's the way i would play it, anyway. i hate red tape.
Posted by: Nytro | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 4:50 AM
I agree with Running Jayhawk; there's no excuse to let a fireman get away.
Posted by: Jess | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 7:35 AM
Funny story! Sorry to laugh at your expense. You'll have to figure out how to trip that fire alarm again to stage another encounter with your fireman!
Posted by: Running by.... | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 4:25 PM
Don't you just love it when people cant think outside of a script? Bad luck about the fireman - I suppose you could always call his station up and say you fell into one in the stairwell and he dropped a personal item that you would like to return.... ;)
Posted by: Wobbly man | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM
DATE: 10:47 PM
This story reminds me of a vacation I had on the beautifull isle Malta. One night the alarm of a car went off and the car was parked next to the hotel. After 15 minutes I went downstairs to ask the hotel-man if he could call the police to do something about it. The police said they couldn't do anything..only after 2 hours and whole Malta complaining the broke the car open..
Posted by: Remco | July 4, 2006 08:02 PM