Little Miss Runner Pants

and this sunday's group ride was no different.

in fact this sunday's group ride was a prime example of just such a situation.

KK called on friday to ask if i would like to join the group heading out to the middle of BFE missouri for a group ride?! well.. yeah! definitely!! i want in on that action for sure!

because when he said a group ride, i imagined... fun. a joyous occasion. a biking adventure of splendid proportion.

why did i imagine this?! because quite clearly i live a very misinformed life.

the BFE lake area is not only out in the middle of no where, it is out in the middle of nowhere with hills and gale force winds coming at you in all directions. BFE lake is...

BFE lake is hell. it is a gateway to hell, of this i'm quite certain... and me and my misinformed, oh yay, this will be so fun! self got our ass handed to us in a not so delightful way.

the ride started out as all things do.... easy. splendid. with various wow. i pretty much rule this whole biking thing! thoughts rolling thru my head. i imagined myself in the various upcoming rides KK has told us about... in the front of the pack. hot bronzed men in spandex struggling to keep up with me as i ride along barely breaking a sweat...

oh yes. the ride started out so well. so full of misinformed gaiety and splendor. and then?! oh.... and then.

the wind. the wind started to blow and the hills started to roll, and what had begun as a breezy sunday afternoon ride quickly became a miserable day of lactic acid, lost breath, and suffering legs.

i weren't pleased.

the first few miles... maybe the first 3... i stayed with the group. i worked... hard... but i did it. eventually, however, my legs just couldn't keep up. i needed to shift down, down, down, until there was no more down to go...

so what happened?

in the back of the pack, riding uphill, my chain drops.

$#%@^!

left to my own devises, it was up to me to reattach said chain...which, surprisingly... i did. with relative ease. a few smears of grease later, and i was back on the bike.

but my spirit was broken.

in the short 10 mile ride (of death) my thoughts went from conquering the bike hells yeah b*tches!!! just call me LANCETTE boiiiiii... to oh eff this. eff it. eff it all over the place. stupid bikes with their stupid wheels and stupid pedals and legs and arms and lakes and trees and hills and bunny rabbits and monkeys and giraffes--OMG I WISH I WERE RUNNING!!!!.....

yeah. it weren't purty.

we got back to the start point and i was spent. i did not have another 10 mile loop in me. out of the question. completely.

after making it perfectly clear i was done for the day (in probably not the nicest of ways. i actually think, when Nazi Biker Lady told me to get back on the bike... i actually think i quoted every five year old i know by responding with "oh yeah?! make me."... and may have even crossed my arms and stomped my foot a little. i'm a gem.) the group took off without me, and i headed to the lake to wait for their return.

but not 10 minutes later, i was itching to ride.

by the end of the day, i'd covered 22 miles. 22 miles of pure torture. of constant shifting up up up, down down down. of having to stop at the top of hills to reacquaint myself with oxygen... of dropped chains, of burning like never before quads, sore hands, shoulders, neck.... but never the less... 22 miles.

whatever i thought biking was going to be.... it's not. i found that out the hard way.

but at least next time.. i'll know. and knowing?! is half the battle!

(and i am so going to win that battle!)