pfft.. shenanigans.
not a great one, albeit, but a life. remember how... i had a few, maybe, i dunno, slightly ridiculous moments of broken toilets, that got fixed, that i broke again, so i could ask hottie building guy for a screwdriver?
and how.. i got locked in the building stairwell and had to go down to the street and run around the corner and call hottie building guy from the call-box in the front of the building attached to ours so he could let me back in?
and remember how i said that was just ridiculous and i should really stop doing things like that?!
well....
i may not have taken my own advice. i may have, once, while dining with said hottie guy, mentioned something about wine. and wine openers. and.. something about not having one.
and he may or may not have lent me his, that i took to my apartment, to open a bottle of wine, that i did, in fact, have a bottle opener for, but used his anyway..
and in the course of our monthish long "relationship" (and i use that term very, very loosely) i decided that, just to be safe, i'd hide my bottle opener (and screwdriver) so that when he came up for various occasions he wouldn't open a drawer and find me out.
not that i couldn't have easily at some point decided to go and buy a bottle opener of my own, but whatever. details.
well... said relationship has since fizzled. fizzled to the point of non-existence, and outside of seeing his car, parked next to mine... every. day., in the garage, i've all but forgotten our many weeks of.... "relationship".
until...
today.
why until today?
because today, i want a glass of wine. i never want wine, i have a very under-developed taste for the stuff, but tonight, dammit, i want a glass of chianti. with the bottle that's sitting right......
right there.
unopened.
but guess what folks?!?!!!
that bottle opener, that screwdriver?!
i. cant. find. them.
and after a good 5 minutes of opening and closing drawers and cabinets.. crawing on the floor looking under beds and couches (i don't know.. when i hide things, i hide things...)
i took a moment to think about what God might be trying to tell me..
honesty and relationships?! not hiding who we are, or being afraid to open ourselves to the right man?! being grown up enough to see there is no need to play silly games with our hearts?!....
i took that moment, thought about it, and then decided..
nah.
what He's REALLY saying is...
drink the smirnoff a. maria... forget the wine!
*sigh*
ohhh, God. he's such a wise fella'!!!!
BOTTOMS UP!!!
Comments
DATE: 6:07 PM
sounds like you need a dog. someone who can fill the relationship void in some ways. someone who will look at you and say "dude.. i totally love you. no matter what. and by the way, i know you have a corkscrew."
Posted by: J | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 7:37 PM
Puh-lease. I saw that comin' a mile away! Don't get a dog... just one more thing you'd have to take care of instead of going on a date. Do we, the hawt women of the world, suddenly out number the hawt guys by 10-to-1? That's the only sensible explanation I can come up to for both you and I, two hawt chicks, to not be waist-deep in dates. Hmmmphf!
Posted by: Tammy | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:26 AM
You are hysterical. Keep making my laugh like that and you will never need a dog. You will have my devotion for eternity. Too funny!!
Posted by: runnergirl | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 7:57 PM
at least you didn't call god a wise ass. She might not have liked that so much.hee hee
Posted by: jeanne | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 7:54 PM
a mile away?! ah jeez, my life is so predictable...*sigh*what's a girl to do?!
Posted by: a.maria | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:29 AM
parked next to you every day.that's harsh.thankfully, he doesn't blog.
Posted by: Bolder | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 4:22 PM
Just an idea... if the Smirnoff-a-solo doesn't scratch the itch you can always say your icemaker is broken and ask to borrow some from hottie building guy.Stay tuned...
Posted by: TriBoomer | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 3:16 PM
You are so funny! I wish God would have given me the right message so many times when I was trying to get a guys attention but no I had to make a fool of myself instead.Enjoy
Posted by: Nicole | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 7:09 PM
I like the new pix!
Posted by: Scooter | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 6:12 PM
Hiya, Found you via my friend P-Nut. Just wanted to drop in and say hello.
Posted by: Paul (rock star wanna be) | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 8:54 PM
That is just hysterically funny! I absolutely love it. You never cease to crack me up.
Posted by: Josh | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 8:12 PM
Hilarious. Water actually came out of my nose (again) as a result of this post. You really need to put a warning on these things, I swear.Love the new pic, too...supah hott.
Posted by: Running Jayhawk | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 5:41 AM
Hey just came across your blog. I love your description of yourself. That is totally me on the guy side. The fun guy that always ends up being your friend, the cute guy that is always around the hot guys that all the girls go after.....nice to see it happens to girls too:)
Posted by: TriGoose (Brian) | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:04 AM
A. Maria despite your misguided loyalty to KU, once again I thoroughly enjoyed your post. I will keep my wishes for you that the right one comes along!Until then, run and have fun with the drink!
Posted by: Kurt | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:22 AM
Great post, very funny. Thanks.I'd say you're on the right track with the honesty thing. It will lead to good places eventually.
Posted by: Donald | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 11:23 AM
Remember that God works in mysterious ways. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons. Some for a long time, some for a short period of time. Some of them are "realtionships" - long or short, and some are chance encounters. As long as you enjoy the momments, learn a ting or two about life, and do not dwell on the past. There is someone out there for all of us, and hopefully we all find that one.
Posted by: Al Durham | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 10:21 AM
Great post! I feel your pain. You will find the guy who loves all of your little quirks.
Posted by: Laurie | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:04 PM
Holy CRAP you're Looney! Funny looney but looney nonetheless! Thanks for the refresher. I completely forgot that I stumbled across your blog several months back when you wrote about the toilet thing and laughed my ass off. Keep up the good work! Bottoms up indeed!
Posted by: Ben aka "Good Ben" | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 12:58 PM
I needed a laugh today...thanks!!
Posted by: susie | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 12:51 PM
She's baaaacckkk!
Posted by: stronger | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 4:59 PM
I wondered what happened to building guy....You are too funny...you should put a warning on these posts! And glad to see that you are back!!!
Posted by: Amy | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:33 PM
I majored in Shenanigans with a minor in Tom Foolery...I'm turning this blog stuff into my thesis for my master's in Developmental Dorkiness...Weren't you in one of my classes?
Posted by: Haight | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 9:30 PM
oh AJ... girl... i don't even know where to go with this one.let me come over and help you find it. my house is clean and i got time... ;)
Posted by: mipper | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM
DATE: 1:04 PM
Hee! Cute post.God is wise and benevolent. :)
Posted by: Veeg | July 4, 2006 8:02 PM