pull buoy SUCKS!
i don't know what kind of reject swimming miscreant came up with this ridiculous idea, but placing a lob of styrofoam between my legs in hopes of making them float and not having to kick...
DOESN'T WORK.
maybe its me. i am fully aware of the fact that i might be doing something, or many things, wrong. i will go ahead and put that out there.. but..
i don't think i am.
i think its just dysfunctional in and of itself.
for those of you blessed blessed people out there that do not in fact know what i'm talking about.. (consider yourself lucky) allow me to explain.
a pull buoy.. seen here ---------> 
is this floating device that you put between your legs (i use the striped one, but mine is the shape of that big solid white one in the foreground) when you swim. the idea is, like stated above, that the buoy will keep your legs afloat so that you don't have to kick, and can instead just work on your stroke.
its a grand idea, truly.
in theory, its terrific.
the problem is...
SH*T. DON'T. WORK.
my body + this damn contraption = total choatic drowning mess.
here's the situation.
i put the pull buoy between my legs. i attempt to get into swimming position and kick off from wall, but that requires some sort of legs together-against wall-push off at same time-manuever i've as of yet not mastered, so buoy starts to slip, i hurredly try to rectify the situation, dive forward and begin to swim.
sort of like a retarded doggy paddle.
once in the water, moving forward so slowly i feel as though i'm actually going backwards, i attempt the free-style normal swimming stroke.
great. good. fantastic. everything goes according to plan for about 2, mayyyybe 3 strokes.
but then i have to breathe -- and it all goes to shit.
my right arm comes up. i turn my body to the right, turn my head, and because my legs have been trained to kick i half kick, remember i've got the pull buoy, tighten my legs to hold onto the thing and WHOOP. my ass bobbles up and down over and out of the water, i forget to finish the stroke because i'm confused by whats going on with my lower half, i start to choke because i can't breathe, i splash like a drowning rat stand up, cough, and wave off the lifeguards because...
no no. i'm fine. really. i'm doing this on purpose... its called TRAINING. don't even worry about it.
awesome.
so i collect myself, adjust the buoy, push off into a doggy paddle and begin again.
with the same result.
I HATE THE PULL BUOY.
and thats all there is to it.
i don't even wanna talk about what happens when i add hand paddles. its like a circus side show---- not. good.
all that being said, i'm enjoying the swim. last night i did roughly 15 laps (and because i don't really know swimming math i'm unsure of how far that actually is) but.. it was good.
mostly. it was mostly good.
i'm calling it a success.
this weekend i'm working on breathing left....
hopefully i don't drown.
Comments
Hahaha, I suck at swimming so I am surprised I love the pull buoy as much as I do... I trick my brain into thinking I get to be lazy and not kick, when really it just means I have to pull harder... Anyways, I say that while sitting on the side of the pool, get that thing between your legs and then wrap your legs in saran wrap so that you are makeshift mermaid - then you won't lose the buoy :-)
Posted by: Danielle in Iowa | December 15, 2006 10:34 AM
Haha I love Danielle's idea.
I'm thinking you should post yourself on YouTube attempting this. Your audience would more fully understand your issues. Just sayin. ;)
Posted by: Laurie | December 15, 2006 10:35 AM
I don't know why, but I'm glad you do this stuff to yourself.
And then write about it.
Very funny.
Posted by: drbubba | December 15, 2006 10:54 AM
Sigh... okay, Ave. You can talk to my better half about this BUT... First of all, the swim is all about body rotation and your arms - using these in a smooth and relaxed aerodynanic. Swimming requires very little kicking. In fact, the goal is to use your legs as little as possible - it disrupts the aerodynamic flow of the body in water, does very little to propel you and will suck away energy. Efficient swimmers use their arms in a precise fashion, rotate their torseo almost 180* as they switch arms. I'd say that your upper body strength might be low and possibly that you need to learn the rotation thing. But you do crack me up.
Posted by: J in Boston | December 15, 2006 12:17 PM
SQUEEZE! :-)
The fact that you find using a pull buoy so difficult means you really need to use them. No paddles - not until you fall in love with pulling. Get a coach to straighten out your stroke technique. Pulling roolz - seriously. Once you get the hang of it you will go faster pulling than you do swimming. Promise.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | December 15, 2006 12:34 PM
SQUEEZE! :-)
The fact that you find using a pull buoy so difficult means you really need to use them. No paddles - not until you fall in love with pulling. Get a coach to straighten out your stroke technique. Pulling roolz - seriously. Once you get the hang of it you will go faster pulling than you do swimming. Promise.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | December 15, 2006 12:35 PM
oops - sorry for the double post. Blogger is bumming me out these days.
Don't work on breathing left or anything else until you get your stroke technique in better shape. Seriously. Just get the basics down, build up a little endurance and then work on the other stuff.
15 laps is either 375 yards (short course) or 750 meters (long course) depending on how your pool is configured. I, too, declare success.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | December 15, 2006 12:38 PM
who told you it goes between your legs?
my coach told me to stick it in my jammers...
could explain a few things...
Posted by: bold | December 15, 2006 12:40 PM
I really shouldn't be taking pleasure in your misery, but that is some funny sh*t. I like the YouTube idea previously posted.
Seriously though, keep trying it out. It really helped me concentrate on my pulling. Once you put the paddles on, your back and shoulders will really get strong and developed.
Baby got back (or gonna get great back!)
Patrick
Posted by: Patrick | December 15, 2006 1:23 PM
Personally I dont use a pull bouy having nightmares from using the old school white styrofome floats and string wedges up against your man parts. Ow. But then again my strokes strong enough to keep my legs level :)
Posted by: wrenching winz | December 15, 2006 2:31 PM
thank god. i misread the title of the thread and thought you having more boy issues.
Posted by: good ol' j. | December 15, 2006 3:05 PM
Okay, 12 step program:
Step 1: Get rid of pull bouy
Steps 2-12: Spend time in the pool learning to balance properly without the pull bouy
Once you have the hang of swimming without the pull bouy OR a significant kick, then you can consider using the pull bouy to theoretically improve pull strength. Since I don't kick, my stroke is all pull, anyway.
Oh yeah, see step 1. Ditch the flotation devices.
Posted by: Iron Pol | December 15, 2006 3:40 PM
running is a lot easier than this.
Posted by: jeanne | December 15, 2006 9:12 PM
running is a lot easier than this.
Posted by: jeanne | December 15, 2006 9:14 PM
Are you placing the buoy between your knees or your ankles?
hak
Posted by: hak | December 16, 2006 10:25 AM
yOUR body + this damn contraption = total choatic drowning mess = YOU NEED CORE WORK! GET THE TO A PILATES CLASS - STAT! ;)
Posted by: Tammy | December 16, 2006 6:10 PM
I heart AJ's challenges, because I get to read about them. Become friends with your pull buoy and you'll be able to relax in the water.
Posted by: Greyhound | December 16, 2006 8:27 PM
I keep hearing about these pull buoy things.... been wondering if I should try them since my swim is weaker than a sick kitten, but (after I stopped laughing) this post made me wonder if I could use one without drowning.
Posted by: Siren | December 16, 2006 10:27 PM
so let me get this straight, you hate the pull buoy?
Posted by: Susan | December 17, 2006 8:30 AM
If you drown, can I have your pull buoy? Please...
Posted by: Josh | December 17, 2006 10:31 PM
Ok, this is too funny...if you go to my blog from the other day, mine is titled-Swimming Sucks! Ha! I totally can relate. Its absolute insanity. I will be the last laner for a long time I can assure you. Keep up the good work girl!
Posted by: ridinfences | December 17, 2006 10:48 PM
I hate pulling too and swimming is my sport! 3 things that may/may not help:
1) It WILL get easier as your stroke gets better. Swimming takes awhile for your body to "get" but I promise it can!
2) Sometimes off the walls I cross my ankles to keep the pull buoy in place. It's awkward to stay like that the whole length of the pool but I remember kids doing it when we first starting using pb's in swim practice.
3) A trip to the weight room to work your adductors may help strengthen your squeeze and make pull buoying easier.
Keep up the work girl! You'll get there. :)
Posted by: mishelek | December 18, 2006 11:01 AM
Do what Iron Pol says! He is right!
But well done for sticking at it - your triathlon will thank you :)
Posted by: LBTEPA | December 18, 2006 10:47 PM
At least you didn't drown with purple hair.
If you do die, can I have your stuff?
Posted by: Kurt | December 19, 2006 9:24 AM
kybozvgh juagy mzji pnbkxej bidnogauk pwcg ncjye
Posted by: mtzfr idtvmrlc | May 26, 2008 4:56 AM
aykgp nafqmkjv kibtjmhdx khymtwopf bhslejoxy gepshlnrz jrfoqxe
Posted by: levd ulfpqakn | May 26, 2008 5:02 AM
aykgp nafqmkjv kibtjmhdx khymtwopf bhslejoxy gepshlnrz jrfoqxe
Posted by: levd ulfpqakn | May 26, 2008 5:03 AM