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January 31, 2007

so! annoying!

BAHHH!!

okay. seriously. this has got to stop.

i am out of control.

for about two months, i have been the picture of health. my nutrition has been spot on, i've been sleeping. i've been working out, going to crossfit, spinning, swimming... you name it, i've done it.

its been fantastic. i've had that i look good, i feel good, life is good complexion. i've been upbeat and happy. my pants have been getting bigger, my ass has been getting smaller...

the world has been my oyster. for two... months...!

but then i did it.

i'm doing it.

i'm screwing it all up.

*sigh*

seems like, whenever i start seeing results... whenever the nutrition and the exercise do their magical bootie blend on my body and i start shrinking... albeit slowly.... i screw it up.

sweet. i'm gettin' skinny! this rocks....

i think i'll have some pizza!

what. is. my. PROBLEM!!?! i do it every time. and i know it. eeevery time. but then i do it anyway.

AND IT IS SO ANNOYING! its like there's this switch in my head that alerts my body.. wherever the "feed me" sensor is stationed, to go into overdrive when i dip under that certain number on the scale.

i bought.. for the first time in honestly i don't even know how long....


POP TARTS. earlier this week. and chocolate ones at that...FOR NO REASON! i wasn't even hungry at the time. it was like an act of defiance.

i'm losing weight?!?! HA! i'll show that fat percentage who's boss...!!!


who the toots eats pop tarts anymore? i mean come on.

so. in an attempt to end this dieting debaucle in one fowl swoop i decided to...

eat wendys at lunch, ice cream for dessert and pop tarts for dinner. (with the thought there being.. well. the sooner i get rid of these, the sooner they'll be gone. heaven forbid i do the unthinkable and... oh i dunno... throw them OUT!)

*ahem*

i'm so nutrionally sound.

ANYWAY! i also went to the store, bought veggies and fruit, some turkey and avacado, and will, once again, board the health-smart band wagon and get my ass in gear.

seriously though..

if there's some sort of smack yourself up-side the head remedy for self-sabotage, i'm all ears. this has been my routine now for... how old am i...

oh yeah.

about 27 years now. and its got to stop!

January 30, 2007

almost too much.

so when i got home today from work i had a UPS delivery notice on my door... there was a package to be picked up at the front office.

i headed over and was handed a tall narrow box and knew immediately they were flowers.

wow. flowers in a box... thats on my "have never received" list... omg. how'd he know??!

i hurried home and opened them up to find..... TULIPS!!! with a vase plus directions on how to tend to them to make the bloom and a note that read "in case you were beginning to forget me..."

awwwwww. army guy's so sweet. it almost makes you wanna barf all over.

..... almost

*giggle*

tulips.jpg

according to the site, they should look like that when they bloom!! --->

although i've got more tulips, less whatever the plural for iris is.


January 29, 2007

the board.

heh...

i went to a board meeting last night.

that means i'm important.

i'm like the most important little miss thing to ever attend a meeting about anything...ever! in ze verrrld!!

heh!! i rule.

that pretty much rocks!

>>>insert wicked taking over the world cackle here!!!<<<


*ahem*


in other news...

i moved into my new apartment this weekend. i think i succeeded in unpacking at least... three boxes. i was less than productive.

(busy presiding over important business like matters at a board meeting.. obviously).

after said meeting was over i headed to the grocery store to find something, anything, that would not require more than a microwave for preparation. i decided on a South Beach dinner.

when i got home, dinner heated and smelling great i realized one important thing....

sh*t!!! where's my silverware? which box might it be in??

with the late night hour and my incompetence in labeling boxes correctly... i said screw the silverware. i'll eat with my hands.

i'm here to tell ya folks, eating garlic parmesan chicken and penne pasta...with you hands... ain't easy.

in fact its down right messy.

i don't suggest it.

January 26, 2007

and then she ran

halfmary.jpg


its official. i'm in. the Olathe Half-Marathon, March 31st, with actual for real training starting next week.

little miss runner pants is back in full swing.

bigger, badder, and better then ever.

*wink*

January 25, 2007

so not good news.

@&*^$%#

*ahem*

so. army guy was scheduled to get home between Feb 28th and March 3rd. one year from the time he left, right? good. great. fantastic.

except that's not what's going to happen.

their homecoming's been pushed 90 days. give 'er take.

army guy wrote me last night, giving me the number of his friend's wife to call and get the goods. i just spoke to her this morning and the final word from her husband was...

"plan on june 11th. give or take 30 days."

*sigh*

this sucks. not even for me so much as it does for him. all of them. apparently they had guys getting home yesterday that now, because of the push, are having to turn around and go back tomorrow.

@^$#&%^$%@$#!!!

this sucks.

i am so not pleased.

-----
defenseLink article about the extension...

DoD Announces Afghanistan Force Adjustment


The Department of Defense announced today Secretary of Defense Robert Gates approved a request from commanders to extend for up to 120 additional days 3,200 soldiers of the 3rd Brigade, 10th Mountain Division currently operating in Afghanistan. This extension will provide military capability for NATO to maintain the initiative and build upon the success achieved in promoting stability and security, while denying safe haven for the Taliban.

Force levels in Afghanistan continue to be conditions-based and will be determined in consultation with the Afghan government and NATO. The United States remains committed to leading the counter-terrorism operations in Afghanistan, training and equipping the Afghan national security forces and assisting with reconstruction.

The United States continues to be NATO-International Security Assistance Force’s largest troop contributor. This request for forces by U.S. commanders as part of NATO’s forces in Afghanistan was endorsed by the Supreme Allied Commander Europe as a commitment to the NATO-ISAF mission in Afghanistan as NATO continues to identify capabilities needed to meet enduring requirements.

The Secretary and department recognize the additional sacrifice and continued contributions of the 3rd Brigade Combat Team and their family members. Army leadership is diligently working with service members and their families to provide support and resources to meet their needs.

-------

suck.

January 24, 2007

you know that feeling??!

you know that feeling you get, when you're right on the brink.

everything around you has been working up towards something, some certain time, some certain event, and its just about to happen and you're just kind of... giddy!!?

not the feeling of everything going right.

not the feeling of i've been waiting for this for so long and now its here...

not that feeling.

the feeling right before.

the feeling of time slowing down and speeding up, all at once. the feeling of hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait... hurry up and wait. the excitement and anxious nervous jitter you get because you know pretty soon, it'll be here, and you'll have to do whatever it is you've been waiting on, and oh my god.. its really real, isn't it?

thats the feeling i have. right now. i've been hit with it, smack, smack across the face.

this, this is what i've been getting ready for.

i don't know what these next few months are going to bring. i don't know what they'll be like, but i can feel the energy just brewing inside me. and i'm ready.

not ready for a race. not ready to train, to have a schedule, to get up every morning to swim or run or bike... (who are we kidding, i'll never wake up early to bike. screw that!)

i'm not that kind of ready.

i'm ready for my life. my life.

MINE.

i've been fighting it, now, for almost two years. trying to hold on to who i was, while growing into who i am. trying to maintain a lifestyle that i knew made me unhappy only to become frustrated with one i knew, know, makes me succeed.

and its been a battle. its been my battle. and its not over...

but its about to be.

that thing, that life i've been slowly getting ready for... its almost here.



do you know that feeling? the feeling of knowing everything is about to be RIGHT. not that everything is always going to be puppy dogs and roses, i'm not that naive, i'm not that stupid... but that everything is going to be right. because you're finally okay with it. okay with you. all of you.

and its not here, its not yet. but... almost.

do you know that feeling?

because i've gotta tell ya... its scary, and its exciting.

and its scary and its exciting... and i don't know if i can explain it more than that.

but thats what i'm feeling.

i'm right on the brink.

January 22, 2007

mee-maw


my grandma is without a doubt the sweetest little old lady to ever walk the earth, and this weekend, out in the middle of nowhere kansas, i went to go visit.

it was the cutest little weekend i've had in a while,which was nice because the next few weeks are going to pick up pretty fast. i've got several projects in the works... moving into a new apartment this weekend topping the list, so for the next little while... busy is my middle name.

between picking out new furniture, packing for various trips, shopping for a certain gown and awaitng army boy's arrival (not that i'm counting down the days or anything....) i've got my hands full.

not to mention that half-marathon i'm supposed to be getting ready for and all those triathlons i've got to get in shape for...

*whew*

its going to be a busy few months. i'm doing my best to keep my blog on track, but if i disappear for a while, know i'll be back. bigger better and badder than ever! ;)

January 17, 2007

so entertaining...

omg, i can't stop laughing. i'm in hysterics listening to these people, um... "sing".

*sigh*

oh holy. what i wouldn't give to be a judge for these first few audition days.

i just hope you guys are doing yourselves the favor of tuning into American Idol this week. there are some funky people out there.

this show tends to do wonders for my self esteem.

love it.

*sigh*

so entertaining....

January 16, 2007

HA!

i just watched NBC Nightly News and apparently according to the new US Census, there are more SINGLE women in the country then there are MARRIED.

.....HA!!!

we singletons know what we're doin!

what are we doing you ask??!....

taking over ze verrrrld, man.


duh.

(how much do i love that new statistic, eh?! as i just announced to my roommate... i am no longer in the minority! goooOOOOO SINGLETONS.

we rule.)

January 13, 2007

another first!

so you know how, back... back in april.. when i took to the pool for the first time?

you know how i totally sucked and had a lot to work on?

well.....

nothing's changed.

i still suck.

but. but now!!.. i suck on a regular basis. every saturday morning... at 9am. for about half an hour+.

and i'm starting to love it.

swimming is... awesome. i love it. getting up in the morning.. that part kinda blows, but... once i'm in the pool, it's pretty damn fun. combine that with my usual swimming partner in crime and... its a good time to be had.

this morning though... this morning was a first.

after having done the whole swimming thing for a few weeks, 0% body fat chick decided last week, that this week, would be my week. my first 1000m week.

and so it was.

this morning, i... for the first time... really payed attention to what i was doing.

normally i just kinda swim. i lose count of what lap i'm on. i lolly-gag after each 50 'cuz i'm kinda tired and a little outta breath. i decide half-lap that i'm going to do one drill, then another.. then another.

i'm very.... myself, about the whole ordeal.

but so this morning... i changed my mind. i wanted 1000. and i wanted to do it right.

this morning i grew up a little, and started taking things more seriously.

so what'd i do?

i swam in sets of 100. nothing crazy, nothing new for most of you out there....nothing to write home about (although that kind of happens to be exactly what i'm doing), but... for me... it was a start. and around 700... it was a damn fine challenge.

i did catch-up drills. i used the pull buoy. i did this weird kick-kick-turn-breathe-kick-swallow water- cough-kick drill that i'm pretty sure i'm still not doing right but... i tried. for 100. i used the pull buoy again (i'm getting the hang of that better now, thanks...) and tried my darnedest to apply pull buoy theory to non-pull buoy swim.

it didn't work.

but i did my best and by 900... i was dog tired. i was pausing after each 50, my shoulders and arms were tired.. i was a wreck.

so i started to compromise.

what if i do the side kick? i'm awesome at the side kick. i'm probably faster doing that than i am free-style...

or breast stroke. i used to swim the sh*t outta breast stroke, i could do that for....

...nahhhh. that makes me tired to0. huh.

OOOH!! i know!!

i wanted to give my arms a break. i was tired, i was sore... hell i was getting lazy, so in my brilliance i thought...kick board!!!

and finished out my 1000 with some kicks. straight legged kicks.

and then i was done!


well... i was mostly done. because then.. the guilt set in.

does kick board count as swimming? i'm not sure if it does, the whole point is to NOT use your legs... is it like cheating using that as my 100? will my 1000 not count, what will 0% say?(fyi, 0% totally slacked and didn't join in the morning time swim. something about "catching a cold" or some non-sense.

SLACKER!)

so to appease my guilty self, i finished off with one more lap of actual solid swimming.


it was a 1050 meter morning.

and as i got up outta the pool, tired and happy to be done... i felt a little wiggle of pride.

i just had another first.... sweet!

this triathlon thing's gunna be good.
it's gunna be really good.

the one and only

since flatman did it, i had to too. and the results are in.....


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere is:
1
person with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?





is anybody really all too surprised?!?!

...yeahhhh. me niether.

January 10, 2007

go go gadget ARMS!

for my birthday this year, instead of doing the whole dinner-drink-bar-meet a guy on the dancefloor-exchange numbers-wake up the next day wondering what his name was-have an ackward conversation when he calls-meet up-find out he's actually balding and smells like wet dog-get a bail-out call from a girlfriend-go home single all over again thing that i've actually never done but have been told is just a real downer...

i decided to go another route.

i decided to go.... rock climbing.

indoors.
on a wall.

in a totally safe not even remotely death defying environment.

it was awesome!

and while i'd like to sit here and tell you all about the ways in which i monkey'd myself up the indoor rock-like walls with ease and grace...

i'm afraid you and i both know... that didn't happen.
not in the least.

what i instead can tell you is.... i'm short. and as in most cases... this does work to my advantage.

on three of the seven sections of wall i attempted to climb.... somewhere in the middle, half way up, i encountered what i'd like to call a malfunction of design.

for most people.. this might not be a problem. while standing on one lump of wall with the right foot, the average person can then reach up to another lump of wall, balance, step with the left foot onto yet another lump of wall somewhat higher than the right foot's lump, pull/push/stand and suddenly be several inches higher up on said wall.

its a quite simple idea, really, one that in theory, i'm very keen on.

but in practice... well. its just not that simple.

for those poor souls who, like myself, tower at an un-impressive 5'2 inches, reaching, standing, climbing from lump to lump gets to be.... difficult. our wing span just isn't as long as a normally heighted person and so suddenly, those "helpful" tips from below...

"oooh. AJ. see if you can reach that green one by your left shin. put your left foot on that.... GOOD! now ok. see that right one by your right knee? get your right foot on that while reaching for the yellow one thats a few (read:: 72) inches above your head and then just step up and you'll have it!"

get to be, oh i dunno.........

pure insanity.

my well-meaning'ed friends below had me in such ackward spread eagle positions that i didn't know whether or not to be frustrated or flattered that they thought i could actually maneuver myself in such impossible ways.

needless to say, it was quite an adventure.


one of my many pauses in climbing to re-asses my situation. it never helped. but admitting defeat never comes easily.

*sigh*


HA! my last and final climb. god love the designer of this section of wall!!!




(three of the taller chicks in the group. notice how they all made it to the top.

show-off's...)

either way though, i had a fantastic time, and a fantastic birthday.

you can see more photos here. but they're all pretty much the same and, just to warn you... they're all shots of ass.

and nobody looks good from that angle....

i'm just sayin!


January 8, 2007

ohhhhhh holy moses.

i'm doing a triathlon this year.

i'm for real doing a triathlon this year, and i'm pee my pants scared about the whole ordeal.

right now, currently, i've got four or five on the list. short ones. mini-sprint tri's, nothing serious, but getting the calendar out, and circling dates...

i kind of feel a little lightheaded.

i'm nervous, a little queasy... i actually do kind of have to pee and i'm anxious to the point of immobility.

my arms feel like lead, i can feel that i'm tensing my legs, and, in my usual manner, i've kind of got the giggles.

which really doesn't help the peeing thing at all.

i'm really doing it this year. i'm going to be a triathlete.

BAHHH!

i think its official... i'm crossing over to the dark side......

olathe half-marathon
heritage park du/triathlon
shawnee mission triathlon
jackson country triathlon
topeka tinman
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January 7, 2007

abc's and meme's.

well kids.... i've been tagged. and because i could never refuse my north dakota friend, stacy.. prepare yourself for a meme. alphabet style...

A-Available or Single --- i'm just going to forego the entire blog post i could write on this particular topic and just say... single. for now, i'm single.

B-Best Friend --- ya know it completely depends on the situation.. if that makes any sense to you. but in an overall kind of a way, J.Lee, my denver rat... she's my best friend.

C-Cake or Pie --- pie. and because you asked, i really do prefer apple. warm. with a scoop of vanilla BEAN ice cream... on the side.

D-Drink of choice --- an ice cold coca cola classic, all the way.

E- Essential Item --- does email count as an item? probably not... okay then, a computer. a MAC, preferably, with the adobe and macromedia suite installed and updated!

F-Favorite color --- currently i'm really into earth tones, but for the record, i don't really have a favorite. i'm not much of a "favorites" kinda gal. i'm entirely too indecisive for that!

G-Gummi Bears or worms --- twizzlers.

H-Hometown --- i'm going to kind of cheat a little here and say texas. the lone star state. i can't explain why, but that'll always be home to me.

I-Indulgence --- yes please!!!

J-January or February --- ummm... january. for sure.

K-Kids & names --- no, not currently. though in the next... lets see i'm 27 now (dear god) so in the next 5 or so years, ask again. hopefully i'll have an answer for ya!

L-Life is incomplete without --- i'm going to ditto stacy on this one with friendship and love, and add my own less eloquent tidbit, which is just taking the time to get to know yourself. and accepting yourself. the good, the bad... and learning to love what you find. not because of someone else, but because of you. with no excuses.

M-Marriage Date --- HAAAAAAAAhahahaha... ha. HA. please don't start on me with this would ya? i just got a call from my mom all too recently informing my that my uncle called up from mexico, realizing it was my 27th birthday, and along with the well wishes and the celebratory cheer felt it necessary to point out that... i'm still single. which means not married, and... what am i waiting for? go find a man!!!

thanks tio. you're a real help. i hadn't thought of that yet, so now that you mention it... i'll see what i can do.

N-Number of siblings --- nada. my mom had me, realized she'd achieved perfection and didn't see the need in trying again!

at least thats what i like to tell myself....

O-Oranges or Apples --- oranges. hands down. with a handful of peanuts? ain't nuthin bettah.

P-Phobias/Fears --- i'm kinda scared of the dark. i don't have much of a punchline for this one, i'm just... ya know.

scared of the dark. what can ya do?

Q-Favorite Quote --- i have so many, but this is the first to pop into my head...

"It is not the critic that counts. Nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and who spends himself in a worthy course; who at best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at worse, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among those cold, timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." --Theodore Roosevelt

R-Reason to smile --- unexpected phone calls... i'll leave it at that!

S-Season --- fall. ditto stacy. i love me some fall weather.

T-Tag three people --- i know the distaste with meme's that runs rampant in this crowd, so i'll leave the tagging to anyone who might feel inclined to answer these A-Z's.

U-Unknown fact about me --- i'm thinking about buying a new car. truck really... SUV type sporty vehicle. which is in fact with SUV stands for... so ya know.

but yeah. an older one. one that i don't mind throwing my bike in the back of, piling up with tri-gear and eventually driving through snow with. although i can't for the life of me make a decision on that either, so... we'll see how that pans out.

V-Veggie I hate --- cauliflower. which i've never actually had but it looks gross and i just can't bring myself to try it.

W-Worst Habit --- wow. i have no idea. i have so many. going to bed without taking my make up off. which i don't really wear make up all that often, but when i do... i really do. and then i get home, and i'm tired, and i get in bed... and then i lay there. wide awake. scolding myself for having gotten into a warm comfy bed without washing my face. and i waste valuable sleeping time talking myself out of/into getting out of bed and doing the normal facial cleanse routine because i don't want prematurely aged skin or bad acne, but i really hate getting out of bed into the cold dark night, and...

do you see what this becomes? it becomes a thing. and its a habit of mine, and it's got to stop.

which reminds me i need to wash my face tonight before i go to bed. i can't forget to do that...

X-X-rays you've had --- no idea. at the dentist i guess? looking for one cavity or another.

Y-Your favorite food --- totally and completely depends on my mood. and what week of the month we're in!

Z-Zodiac --- Capricorn

*whew*

done.

January 5, 2007

to celebrate...

so last night after work, to celebrate my day of birth i went to KC Multisport's first night of spinning.

it was brutal. it was hot. it was sweaty. it was filled with people far more fit than i.

so just to make sure everyone knew how hard i was working for that miserable hour, at the end of class, as i bent down to unhook my bike from my trainer...

i threw up in my mouth.




twice.


yeah. nice.

January 4, 2007

yeah yeah.. its my birthday

m'kay. for those i confused earlier.. yes. today's my birthday.

my twenty SEVENTH birthday, to be exact.

and, today, so far, has been a great day.

a few years ago, maybe three or four, my birthday was... less than pleasant. nobody remembered, nobody cared, and i was feeling pretty low.

today, however... its a completely different story. and i have to admit, i'm a little amazed.... but ever so grateful.

these past few years i've met, via blogs and multisport activities, some amazing people. some of them.. of you.. i only know through email. some of you i've been blessed enough to meet in real life...

but everyone of you has made this past year, and i'm sure will make this upcoming year, unforgettable.

and for that i thank you.
the birthday wishes, emails and phonecalls have put me in a total state of bliss for the day...

and who don't love them a little bit'a bliss, eh!?!!

with that said.. my 2007/27 year list is going on hold. i just had an awesome birthday lunch with some fantastic people that took, um... a teeeensy bit more time than planned, and i have a man to animate!!

so, for now.. here's joe. he doesn't juggle yet, but come on...

he's so close!

i've got about 3+ more hours to kill here at work, let's see if i can make this man move!!!

................

3:26pm. and ya know what?!!?! JUGGLINGS DUMB!!!

i haven't quite given up, but... joe and i... we're frustrated!!


..........

4:19pm. quittin time. he doesn't juggle.

i know. i'm sad too. but maybe tomorrow i'll come up with something else for him to do??!?!


for now... I'M OUTTA HERE!!! happy thursday everyone!

cuz its MY day

i've decided i probably won't get much done today.

instead i'm gunna make my little friend joe here juggle. here's where we're at so far...

>>>>>>>>> well, that doesn't seem to have worked!! <<<<<<<<<

i guess i can't share my creation with you after all. dammit. ah well. i tried.... lets see...

hmm. well..

if you're interested, you can go here and see what i'm talking about.

or not. whatever. its really up to you...

but like i said...today's MY day, i'm really far ahead of schedule with work stuff, and i'm in too good of a mood to attempt to be productive, so...

i'm making joe juggle. thats my goal for the day.

27 years old, and still doodling stick figures..... gotta love it!

(stay tuned for more.. i have a "to do" list for 2007 slash being 27 that i'll try and post this afternoon! MAN i love being an adult and shirking my daily job responsibilites. this stuff ROCKS!)

January 1, 2007

new leaves!!! same stem...

its 8:18 in the morning!!!

i'm awake!!

i'm showered!!

and for the first time, in a long time, i'm not hungover on new years day!

this is big folks. this is fantastic.

leaves are turning. its a new me.




apparently though... not all that new.

this morning, in my excitement to start the new year off on the right foot, i awoke, brushed my teeth and jumped into the hot water. i shampoo'd my hair. conditioned.

and then because...

well. because i suppose some things never change...

i turned to my face wash, lathered it up in my hands, and then proceeded to massage it, too, into my scalp.

son of a B*TCH!!

*sigh*

i think i liked it better when i could blame these kinds of things on the liquor.

ah well. what can i say... i'm turning new leaves here in 2007. but... not to worry...

its still just me... and my same ole stem!