Little Miss Runner Pants

i loathe running.

i really do, i hate it. i hate it in that way that every once in a while i completely love it, so i want to get better at it, but i never do get better at it, so i still just really hate it.

and i avoid it, make excuses not to do it, find reasons to put it off and just down right skip it...

i do. and i'm really good at it.

but yesterday enough was enough.

sometime during the day yesterday i made the decision to run to crossfit. i figured i'd just get it outta the way. go home, change clothes, hit the road. so i pulled on my shorts, grabbed my long sleeve-really doesn't match-but dammit i don't care-t-shirt, popped in the i-pod and started pounding the pavement.

and it was weird.

for at least the first mile, if not more, i was resigned to the fact that in a few minutes, i'll have to walk. i can't keep this up, there's no way. i'm not sure, but i think i'm going too fast... i'll definitely burn out here in a few steps..

but the thing was... i didn't.

i kept waiting for it, waiting... i'd get a little glitch in my shin, my knee would feel... i dunno. something. and i'd be sure..

and then nothing.

somewhere around HyVee i realized i was almost there. i was half-way up a somewhat unimpressive hill and had energy to spare. i was about to make it all the way with no problem....
i'd dodged all the pot-holes, hit all the green lights, passed a hot dude running the opposite direction and didn't trip and fall...

i was practically there! footloose and fancy free!

by the time i got to crossfit i was... obviously.. congratulating myself.

i was so proud. without shame, proudly announcing i ran from home and did not walk... i was excited as could be.

until... i saw the clock.

5:14pm.
i ran 3.4988 miles in.... i did some quick math and...

36 minutes.

thats a little over a 10:15 pace.

and i ran that!

and thats when i knew.

i loathe running. i hate it. i really do, but not because i'm not good at it. not because i'm slow, not even because it hurts and i'm lazy and i don't want to do it.

i hate it, in that way that i love it, because its so true. its so true.

i hate running because i can get better. everyone, anyone can get better. but there are no short-cuts. there are no easy outs, no ways to fake your way through. and there's not much in life that gut-checks you in quite the same way.

i ran that. 36 minutes, i did that. but not without work. not without a lot of work, and thats when it hit me.

running faster, being fit... these people i look at that make it look so easy, so natural...
sometimes, sure, part of it's that, but.... sometimes, ya know what?

it's not.

behind the slimmed down bodies, the rock hard abs and the toned and tanned legs are hours and weeks and months of work.

yeah sure the past few weeks have been... unsound. nutrionally. training. i've been a big fat trash heap.

but for once, and finally.. thats not the norm! thats not who i am, or how my body works... and just look at the reward.

3.4966 miles in 36 minutes. for me?? thats huge!

for once it all just kind of hit me. its not about i can't, i'm not built that way, and woe is me.

its just not. its about work. and sacrifice. and dedication. and realizing brownies and ice cream do not a meal make.

and i hate that. i hate running for proving that to me.

but ya know what? i hate it, in that way that i love it. and realizing that...

it felt pretty damn good.

Posted by a.maria at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (29) | TrackBacks (0)

ok, i'm just going to go out on a ledge here and admit that there's a distinct possibility that i am an idiot, but..

i just found this out.

did you know that to participate in a something something sanctioned something triathlon, you have to carry some kind of a card?

like some kind of members only we have permission and you don't... card?



did you know that?

did you know that you have to have it with you when you go to the race? and all races? and that they ask you for it when you enter?!!?

did you know that?

because i did not know that. and i feel as though that might have been somewhat important information. i feel as though when you start training for a triathlon, and you start getting together all the gear you need for triathlon, that someone should perhaps mention that you have to be a member of or get a card from or pay some sort of dues to USAT.

i feel this is important because when certain people, not unlike myself, are uninformed, they make... well.

mistakes.

mistakes like... finding themselves at dinner with the president of their very own multiSport club and questioning what a standardized test for college admissions has to do with triathlon.

"so, wait a second....uSAT... the SAT's..?? what does that have to do with anything?"

.... ackward silence.... funny looks and stares....

"USA.....triathlon."
".. its USAT, triathlon, its a group you... you have to be a member to --- inarticulate garble as i realize the sheer magnitude of my supreme idiocy..."

"..oooh, ooh, okay. USA - t.. USA-t, i thought you said u-SAT.. so i.. yeah, no... right.

yeah. gotcha...."

... ackward silence... more strange looks....

wow.

yeah.

that wasn't pretty.

so like i said... apparently, to participate in a triathlon, you have to have something to do with this USAT group of people and you have to have a card, and there's an exchange of money and i suppose it all makes a lot of sense.

but you know... nobody ever told me, so...

i never knew.

*ahem*

anyway!!! after leaving dinner and regaining some sort of semblance of brain power i felt it was my duty to rush home and let everyone else know that indeed its USAT.. stands for USA Triathhon and hopefully, now, nobody else will make the kind of mistake i seem to uh..

well. always make.

(not that anyone would. this is me we're talking about here.... )

*sigh*

one of these days i'm not going to be the newbie.

and its gunna rock!!!

Posted by a.maria at 12:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBacks (0)

that's not so secret...

its really hard to get back on the bandwagon after you've been gone for a while.

i let myself go this weekend... really let myself go... and damn if i'm not having a hard time remotivating myself to get in line. i'm going to have to b*tch-slap myself silly this weekend.

and it starts tomorrow, with a 5:30am wake-up call and a trip to the gym.

this chick needs some cardio... stat.

... good thing i have this half-mary to train for, eh?!

sheesh....

Posted by a.maria at 07:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

i'm back! and i didn't die on the slopes! hoorah!!!

my trip to colorado was, as always.... an adventure.

the weather was less than cooperative, the credit card gods were having an off day (both my hosts, on seperate occasions, lost their credit cards only to later find them but receive news that "sorry, its our policy to shred any cards we find" thereby making for a rather frustrating weekend.

apparently i'm not good luck. who knew?!!) and my diet took a serious nose dive into a sea of hamburgers, french fries and frosties.

damn i love frosties...

but the snowboarding... the snowboarding was good.

for now though, i've got oodles of things to catch up on at work and at home, so instead of my usual tales of snowboarding goddess-ness and triumphs on the mountain i'll leave you with a few pics, and hopefully will find time for more sometime soon!

me and j.lee's son after breakfast, saturday morning...






me and duncan after snow-shoeing at the gawd-awful height of 12000 ft....
seriously, how anyone breathes up there is just amazing to me.

(fyi, duncan has a licking-face thing. he wouldn't sit still for the photo, hence my strange and somewhat ackward facial expression. i don't really look like that in real life!!!

promise!)




me... in the mountains.

yeah.. that's pretty self-explanatory there, huh?!!?

Posted by a.maria at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

well kids, have a great rest of your week/holiday weekend.. i'm heading out in a few hours for denver to thoroughly enjoy my last weekend before lent!

(i'm giving up flour. again. my body seemed to have responded very well when i did it before for just 10 days.. i'm interested to see where i'm at come easter! its going to be a long lenten season!)

anyway i'll be back middle of next week with hopefully a good story or two and hopefully no broken bones!

Posted by a.maria at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

because, clearly.... two dozen roses just... aren't enough!!?!

whoa.

Posted by a.maria at 04:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBacks (0)

i don't leave til thursday, but can i just say?!!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!

Posted by a.maria at 07:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

i ran outside yesterday. in our "heat wave" of 45 degrees.

man its been a long time since i've run outside.

i started from my apartment and headed out to a teeny tiny little loop across the street from my complex.

in my head, i was going to do four loops. i had no idea how far that'd make my run... not far, i knew that much.. but four seemed like a nice reasonable number, so off i went.

sometime during my second loop i noticed a car full of boys pull into the lot. i'm not entirely sure what they were doing (obviously. i was focused. kept my head straight. didn't stare) but of course i did glance over enough to determine if they were cute or not.

they were.

at that point my shins were screaming at me, my thighs were feeling every step, and i thought maybe it'd be a good idea to turn around and run my last two laps the other way. counter-clockwise.

and what a fine idea it was. one third of the way around a very cute not married boy seemingly my age was walking towards me. with a couple dogs in tow.

so i picked it up a bit. smiling and nodding a -- hi there. i'm not at all flirting with you. i'm running. i'm a runner. don't mind me, i just think your dogs are cute and in no way does the fact that you're walking in the opposite direction of me affect my previous running plan. -- nod.

at this point... i was definitely feeling it. it was getting cold, i wanted more than anything to walk a bit, but i heard a whistle (and lets be honest. as un-PC as it might be.. who doesn't love being whistled at?!!!) and knew there was no way i'd be stopping to walk.

not long after, i noticed guy with dog walking back towards the complex so, naturally, i ditched my fourth loop to run back too.

oooh. wonder where he lives?!

unfortunately for all parties involved, he turned into his building. i figured it might be a little weird if i followed him in, so i turned down to mine, stretched out a bit, and called it a day.

chasing after boys on my weekly run...

*sigh*

some things never change.

..... damn if i don't look forward to training season!

Posted by a.maria at 09:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (26) | TrackBacks (0)

owie.

*sigh*

this weekend was my first weekend back to marathon (or in my case half-marathon) training and full on triathlon training.

first official week. weekend...

and i'm not gunna lie. it kinda sucked.

but in that sort of sick and twisted way that made it still enjoyable.

KC MultiSport, my preferred multi-sport club in the greater kansas city area (heh. i love plugging) has started a saturday morning 2-hour spin opportunity for those athelets out there foolish enough to want to participate.

and foolish i was.

although not until after a good rehaul of my usual weekend routine.

saturday mornings 0% and i usually swim... thursdays are reserved for KCM's spinning hour of death, friday is crossfit, saturday swim, sunday cross, monday rest. but with the upcoming season of triathlon seemingly weeks away (perhaps months. i'm prone to over-exaggeration. it happens.

i mean no i'm not. what? shut up....)

*ahem*

anyway...

with the upcoming season of triathlon and my complete incompetence on the bike, i figured a 2-hour spinning session saturday mornings might be worth taking a look at. so i bumped the swim to friday night, spun... span? spinned?... saturday morning, and saturday night, at a little ladies night soiree, made the mistake of verbally outlining my future weekend plans.

"yeahhh.. i think i'm going to run on sunday's after crossfit. i really need a long weekend run day, so i think that's my plan"

Tall Curly Girl chimed in with "oooh! me too! we can run together!!" mirrored by Homework Girl's enthusiasm and i knew i was in trouble.

oooh sh*t. training partners. that doesn't bode well for my lets-pretend-to-be-in-training-without-actually-doing-any-training training plan.

bollocks.

sunday morning at crossfit i'd all but forgotten my need to run after class (not really. but i was trying) and almost thought i was going to get away with not going until 0% mentioned meeting up at the gym later in the day.

damn 0% and her endless energy supply. how will i ever procrastinate through my training with her around?!

but, without having the "i'm too busy" excuse to cop-out with i showed up... and ran.

5 minutes into my run i was exhausted. my legs were tired, my shoulders hurt from that morning's crossfit workout

(i did 100 push-ups sunday. one. hun. dred. among other things, but... 100!
i just wanted to throw that out there.)

and i realized, just like every time before...

there's no short cut to training... especially the run. every time i start, i have to start all over again. and as frustrating as that is. as much as i wish the biking and the swimming would automatically make me a 10 minute miler, i know it doesn't.

but at the same time.. there's something almost comforting in that knowledge.

i get to rebuild my relationship with running this year. with training in general. and maybe, hopefully.. i'll do it the right way.
so this weekend was step one.

a long, tiring, somewhat painful step, but a step.

and, lets face it... every great journey begins with a step!

Posted by a.maria at 01:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)