duathlon.
alright. so. the duathlon.
lemme break it down for you in three simple words.
i.
kicked.
ass.
i kicked ass! i kicked the kind of ass that i didn't even know i HAD! (which. i'm not totally sure if that makes sense or not, but regardless....)
i pretty much ruled. i owned that course. owned in the way that a newbie, who was really just looking to finish with a reasonable time, owned.. but still!
OWNAGE!
here are the numbers.
and i know what you're thinking... thats a lot of numbers. i couldn't agree more. i haven't the foggiest what they all mean. or why there are so many columns.
but here's what happened....
the race starts out with a 2 mile run. all morning i'd been warned about the first run. "everyone goes out really hard. you want to run your own race. don't try and keep up. save some for the bike.."
you know.. the usual.
in my mind!? pffffffffft. "keep up". yeah right. like that's even a choice i have the power to make. i run one speed, and one speed only.
its called slow.
and thats just how it is.
well. ladies and gentlemen.
NOT! NO! MO'!
i don't know what happened. i don't know who i was channeling, or how i found them. i don't know if it was a fluke, some sort of time warp situation i experienced, or just the unveiling of my new found AWESOMENESS and total and complete DOMINATION of the run, but...
i ran a sub-9:00 mile on mile one. and i am damn. proud.
flabbergasted. shocked. appalled, even, to be sure... but damn. proud.
mile one came at 8:56. obviously, this is not something i experience all to often (read: ever.) so after my initial SWEET JESUS!!! i forced myself to slooooow down, i did have a bike to ride afterall, and apparently run one came in at... 19:55. a sub 10-pace.
HA! who'da man? WHO'da man!!?
after the run, was.. as you would expect... TRANSITION ONE!!!
my first transition.
it was kind of like...
GO! HURRY! what??! i don't know.. GO! HURRY! what?? i don't know... GO! HURRY!
you get the idea. i don't even really remember it.
that is, of course, until i actually had my bike, and was running to the little "you're allowed to hop on your bike here and ride now" area just outside of the corrals.
there. were people. everywhere.
i don't know how i didn't get run over. but!?
i didn't.
and so i was off.
the bike portion. well. lets be honest here folks.
I AM A BIKING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bet ya didn't see that coming, now did ya!!?! (*ahem* yeah. me either.)
i don't care how fast the fastest people were. i don't care how many people beat me, i don't care how often i got passed...
i ruled that bike course. i. me. this girl right here...
i passed people. i passed people like. it. was. my. job.
IT WAS AWESOME!
of course i also sort of would then immediately get passed by sometimes those same people. sometimes new ones.
but i cared not. i verbalized "on your left" so many times... i lost count!!!
the hills weren't as bad as i remembered them. i guess something about having 499 other people out there doing the exact same thing as me sort of got me over my whole "boo-suck" attitude and outside of omg. just three loops. omg, just three loops. you're almost there, you can do it. omg. just three loops it wasn't really all that bad.
a few things though, i think i should mention...
my hands went numb.
normally this is a toe thing. my toes go numb 75% of the time i ride, but never my hands. i mean... they. are. my. hands. wtf is that about?! but yeah. numb. they went numb.
also!? calf crampage. like total and complete cramping in both calves. sometime around loop 2.
did i let it stop me? did i allow such a thing to slow me down?
I. DID. NOT!
however by that third loop, about half way through, what did get my attention was...
this sort of...
um.
well.
left butt cheek situation.
that i just couldn't ignore.
it hurt. ooooh... it hurt. and my ass almost never hurts after a ride. 0% and i decided its because.. all this junk in my trunk that i'm "blessed" with.. has its uses.
power.
apparently though up until this point i have not tapped into said power, because HELLO! left butt cheek!
OUCH!
of course this came at the end of my bike.
i de-mounted, unclipped, and cursed my ass. we had serious cramping going on, and considering i now had 3 more miles to run.. well.
not good.
i don't really know, exactly, who's phenomenal idea it was to come up with this whole thing. but... biking. and then running?
well that combination can just kiss my... my... well. you know.
t'was near an impossibility. the second run just ruined me. i was getting passed by every single person i'd just smoked... "smoked"... on the bike.
and i was PISSED!
but there was nothing i could do about. my legs. would not. GO.
just... nope!
i think sometime after the first mile i started feeling a little better. i'd picked one chick and one dude with whom to compete... quietly. in my mind. and who, by the time it was all said and done?!
well. they had their way with me. but not until after a lot of cat and mouse!
but really.. i didn't care.
i'd wanted to finish this race in under 2 hours. i wasn't really sure i could. i wasn't really sure i wanted to try hard enough to find out. but in the end...
i did. and i was. and it. was. awesome.
run one pace = 9:58
bike pace = 16.72 (and just fyi. my normal pace, riding with the group? FOUR. TEEN. so.. you can understand my excitment now, eh!?)
run two pace = 10:35... again. much faster than. well.
ever.
like i said. my first duathon!? fantastic. really, truly, absolutely i do not know how it could have possible gone any better than that.
and for that, i am bubbling over with joy.
on another simply truly amazing and quite delightful note.. i'm wearing pants today.
pants, today, that i've never worn. because?
they've never fit.
way. wayyyy. WAY back in 2005, i found them. white house/black market. great, awesome, stripped pants. it was january, and i was feeling... optimistic.
but they just never worked.
on a whim, this morning, i tried them on.
they fit.
and they look good.
*sigh*
today is a good day. what can i say...
don't hate me cuz i'm beautiful, folks.
hate me...
CUZ I FREAKIN' RULE!!!
Comments
BOOOOOOOYAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
me.so.proud.
YOU ARE A DUATHLETE!!!
Posted by: bold | May 21, 2007 3:53 PM
This post has made me laugh so hard that it's hurting my sides.
Way to kick some serious ass, AJ! Another brilliant race report!
Posted by: RunningJayhawk | May 21, 2007 3:57 PM
Congrats! Great race.
And the pants look hot.
Posted by: drbubba | May 21, 2007 4:20 PM
Hello LMRP,
I've been following your blog for the last couple weeks and just wanted to finally say hello. I really enjoy your writing and especially enjoyed your duathlon report. I'm still 2 months from my first triathlon and it's reports like this that keep me psyched for mine.
Congratulations on a great race!
Posted by: John | May 21, 2007 4:23 PM
Yay! And talk about a total bonus with the pants! Gees, that hasn't happened to me in like... ever.
Posted by: Danielle in Iowa | May 21, 2007 4:33 PM
You!! Runnning!!! Biking!!! RUNNING!!!! SUB-9!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!
I'M SO THRILLED~! you are woman! You are amazing. Inspiring!!!! I'm in awe! I bow down to your greatness!!!
I am running out of superlatives, except to say: I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: jeanne | May 21, 2007 4:35 PM
p.s. PLUS PANTS FITTING!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!
:)
Posted by: jeanne | May 21, 2007 4:45 PM
Congratulations! You sound like you're on Cloud 9 right now...and you deserve to be there! :-)
Posted by: Cliff | May 21, 2007 4:50 PM
congrats on an awesome first duathlon ... sounds like there will be more to come
Posted by: ali | May 21, 2007 5:02 PM
Holy huge smile on my face for you! You rock girlie! :)
I am so happy for you. You've worked so hard for this. I am so glad your first multi-sport event went off without a hitch.
Posted by: Laurie | May 21, 2007 5:12 PM
You rule! Underground tri July 11, I think. Make plans!
Posted by: stronger | May 21, 2007 5:39 PM
All that awesome athletic prowess AND your pants fit. You are da woMAN and an Duathlete!
Congratulations.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | May 21, 2007 5:51 PM
yeah!!!! i love the pants thing. the skinny pants...and you WIN!!! (and the whole duathlete thing? that's in a class all of itself--congrats)
Posted by: Curly Su | May 21, 2007 6:03 PM
You DA Man. No, YOU da man!!!! way to go!! Rock that du, baby! Yeah!
Posted by: Tammy | May 21, 2007 7:02 PM
you roolz!
Posted by: Brent Buckner | May 21, 2007 7:06 PM
hot. youre smokin hot. xoxo
Posted by: Kim | May 21, 2007 7:10 PM
nice!! that is the best way to start out your tri career.. congrats on the awesome du!
ps.. maybe its something about a first du, but on my bike my hands became completely frozen numb.
and the pants situation? a nice side effect :-)
Posted by: becks | May 21, 2007 7:38 PM
ps. your posts are awesome.. i love reading your blog!
Posted by: becks | May 21, 2007 7:41 PM
Congratulations!!!! Have you signed up for your next race yet??? :D
Posted by: The Ratt | May 21, 2007 8:06 PM
Yeah, whatever, I knew you had this.
Just kidding, congrats, your excitement at exceeding your expectations and self-image is inspiring and entertaining. But guess what, we all kinda knew it before you did.
Posted by: Viper | May 21, 2007 8:08 PM
Great job, you rule the day!
Posted by: Jack | May 22, 2007 1:27 AM
You absolutely rule the multisport blogsphere, chica. And with SKINNY PANTS too!
Posted by: Greyhound | May 22, 2007 6:58 AM
congratulations. on to the next one!
Posted by: eddie | May 22, 2007 7:44 AM
I love love loved this entry!! I'm so excited for you :) Way to kick ass!
Posted by: Cristin | May 22, 2007 7:59 AM
WHOO HOO!!! YAY, YEAH, GOOOO! Me jumping up and down - I. Knew. It. I knew you would rock it. How? I dunno. But I knew. Way to go!!!
Posted by: Larissa | May 22, 2007 8:33 AM
You do rule indeed.
Posted by: Susan | May 22, 2007 8:54 AM
Great job Ale!
Sounds like you may be hooked now.
Next stop triathlon?
Posted by: Patrick | May 22, 2007 8:55 AM
Okay, seriously...smokin' hot...
Posted by: Just some dude... | May 22, 2007 9:35 AM
Your race? Complete and total AWESOMENESS!!! I'm seriously thrilled for you. It's the best feeling in the world to outperform your own expectations.
Now, it's time to get your swim on. You signed up for a TRI, right?!
Posted by: Andra Sue | May 22, 2007 10:19 AM
HOLY MOSES!
You kicked some serious ass. Nicely done!
And skinny pants, too?!?!?! Me soooooo jealous. My pants are gettin' bigger and bigger. Sigh.
Posted by: TriSaraTops | May 22, 2007 10:28 AM
new blog title "little miss kick ass"
awesome job - inspirational even!
Posted by: chandra | May 22, 2007 11:33 AM
Dur. I don't know why I thought you were doing a tri. Oops. But man, you kicked that Duathlon's ass! And the pants that fit? What a fab feeling, I know exactly how you feel. I just put on a pair of capris that have been in my closet for 3 years - waiting on me. Great job!!!
Posted by: Sarah | May 22, 2007 11:59 AM
Awesome job! Welcome to the Duathlete world! Race belts are the bomb. No more pins and putting holes in shirts.
Posted by: Al Durham | May 22, 2007 12:33 PM
Better than drugs! I guess (I don't know I never tried them) ... but it must be, huh? Congratulations on an awesome race!
Posted by: Cindy J | May 22, 2007 3:28 PM
Meh...
JK. Best (and most hilarious) race report, evah! Congrats an awesome job. It's beautiful to see someone work hard and meet (ne exceed) their goals. Your excitement (and okay... awesomeness, at both writing and the du) jumps through the screen.
And the race photos are def hawt! I've never seen someone so *happy* in their race pictures! I think you need to change your name to Little Miss Happy Racing Pants.
Keep up the muy bueno job! You so got the triathlon next.
Posted by: Paul | May 22, 2007 4:18 PM
I was rereading your report last night and thinking that we can all learn something from you in that should all be a little more proud of our achievements and reflect that pride in our reports. I mean you completed an event that most couch potatoes would have a heart attack just thinking about, and not only that, you finished in 34th place - kicked butt is right!
Posted by: Jack | May 22, 2007 11:26 PM
buy ambien online
Posted by: buy ambien online | May 4, 2008 1:48 PM
buy xanax online
Posted by: buy xanax online | May 4, 2008 3:24 PM
buy valium online
Posted by: buy valium online | May 9, 2008 2:52 PM
buy xanax online
Posted by: buy xanax online | May 9, 2008 4:44 PM
buy xanax online
Posted by: buy xanax online | May 9, 2008 10:05 PM
buy valium onlinet
Posted by: buy valium online | May 14, 2008 2:11 PM