come and gone
well.. its been ten days, and army guy has come and gone. it was an interesting week and a half, and i learned a lot. not just about him, not just about me.. but also about jumping into things maybe a little too quickly, and... how its probably somewhat sweet to be so naive, but.. probably in the long term, not for the best.
yesterday night, at about 5pm, army guy and i parted ways. we decided, rightfully so, that it'd probably be best to go at this in a "no strings attached" kind of way, and just see what happens as it all plays out.
at the best, most optimistic, we'll come back together to make a go of it again. at the worst, and more realistic, we'll be friends. either way, i'm glad he came. and, honestly... i'm glad he went.
10 days is a really long time!
but.. he's a terrific guy. superbly sweet, strong and handsome. truly the whole package for someone who's...
*ahem*
for someone who's probably a little less set in her ways!!
one thing i did find interesting though, and thought a lot about, especially on the latter part of today's run, was an observation he made...
in the middle of a bit of a rough patch last week i went out for a run. by the time i got back things had settled and i wasn't really sure what the argument had even been. army guy noticed as much.. i think throughout the week... and it dawned on him, and really on me, that i'm a person who's mood is a bit dependent on her... i dunno. health. exercise. whatever.
it really affects me. which is weird.. i never thought i'd ever be that kind of person. but it struck me today.. i kind of am.
the end of his trip was one helluva ride. having had to spend the past almost year worrying about his deployment, his life, what kind of conditions he's been in... it takes a toll. having him here was... super weird. and the ups and the downs, plus the knowledge of what he's been through...
emotionally, today, i've just felt drained.
as i went out for today's scheduled :30 easy run... i could feel myself all tensed up. somewhere around 3 minutes in i looked at my watch though, and realized wow. 3 minutes. thats all it took.. and i already feel like THIS...
my body had completely relaxed. i felt myself mellow out, i stopped worrying about what all had happened and i just enjoyed my run.
by the time i hit the halfway point i felt light again, and realized it was probably true.
i have become the person that needs to do. not to sit, and eat, and drink, and play.. but get out there and go, and push, and be.
and i thought to myself, ..THIS. this is how its supposed to be.
because my tuesday night runs are based on time and not distance, i didn't really know anything about my run except how long it took. by the time i got back i'd decided...
ok. it might be about feeling good, but i wanna know how fast i went!!!
for whatever reason i just felt strong out there today, so i pulled up google's pedometer map and found that my route was just under 3 miles.
i quickly did the math and realized...
2.937 miles
29:40 minutes
10:06 pace
i don't know what all that means, but there's definitely gotta be something said for that kind of a result...
not even i can argue with that!!
me and army guy. just before goodbye.
Comments
You two look really good together. He is very handsome.
Julia (aka J in Boston)
Posted by: Julia | July 25, 2007 8:02 AM
Forget "handsome"...let's try hot.
But, that as we all know is only part of the story.
Sigh.
You know -- exercise starts being about more about us and our lives and hopes and dreams and all that loveliness the moment you go on your second run. The first was just a run. The second is always the beginning of a story.
Posted by: IM Able | July 25, 2007 8:06 AM
Aw, aren't you guys cute!
You look kinda blonde in that picture.
Posted by: Danielle in Iowa | July 25, 2007 8:51 AM
I am the same way about exercise, in fact, my hubby often tells me to go run when I'm cranky.
Give it some time with Army guy. (Speaking from experience of welcoming someone home from Iraq) They have been through a lot and sometimes even they don't realize how much they need to decompress.
Posted by: jkrunning | July 25, 2007 9:30 AM
OMG. You and Julia as SO SIMILAR it is scary...
Posted by: Joe B | July 25, 2007 9:53 AM
um hello. adorable! yup yup, im cranky when i dont exercise, but at that exact moment when i think im gonna explode due to anger, sadness, etc. all i want is a glass of wine and a big chocolate cake :) screw exercise!
Posted by: Kim | July 25, 2007 11:16 AM
My husband and I are both very mood-exercise dependent. It's a bit scary actually, but at least if you know about it, you have a chance to fix things when they go awry.
And I was all "Awwww..." when I read about you and AG going your separate ways, but when I scrolled down to the picture, I couldn't help but think, "For god's sake woman, why didn't you try to kidnap him or something!?" Hee hee.
Posted by: Andra Sue | July 25, 2007 3:09 PM
congrats on going fast. like the slogan says..."you are faster than you think"
Posted by: eddie | July 25, 2007 3:20 PM
you are WAAAY faster than you think...10 days is a lifetime to visit. but better you find out now blah blah blah blah.
you look totally cute.
and i'm waiting for the day when running REMOVES stress instead of creating it!
Posted by: jeanne | July 25, 2007 7:10 PM
You guys look TOO cute.
Posted by: Denise "Firefly" | July 25, 2007 8:25 PM
Wow. This was a really good post. I think it's your best one yet.
Way to go.
BTW, he's hot.
Posted by: Courtney | July 26, 2007 5:33 AM
Wow. This was a really good post. I think it's your best one yet.
Way to go.
BTW, he's hot.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 26, 2007 5:34 AM
things happen for a reason, right? you've learned a lot about him, about relationships and about yourself in the process, so that's a good thing. no, a great thing!
Posted by: momo | July 26, 2007 7:24 AM
Great post...and great pic! Looks like you learned a lot in those 10 days! My hubby tells me that I am a flat out biotch when I don't run. :-)
Posted by: txrunnergirl | July 26, 2007 7:26 AM
Ah...how cute...too bad he had to leave (but yes, I can understand the being happy and sad about it, sometimes it's nice to have things back to normal).
I'm the same way with a run. I use the run to think through the fight, get things in perspective and usually, by the end, I feel as if things have been resolved...too bad that sometimes the other person doesn't realize that one!
Posted by: Danielle | July 26, 2007 2:44 PM
Painfully close to home. Long-distance is tough, too many expectations are created by both parties. It is not that you are "set in your ways", I'm sure.
Great run!! You'll be sub-10 before you know it.
Posted by: Tammy | July 28, 2007 12:01 PM