Little Miss Runner Pants

so i'm driving on post today, heading to the gym when...

all of a sudden, from behind a giant bush on the side of the road, two soldiers JUMP out onto the street, and start running towards my car.

WHOAAAA. whoa. WHOA. what in the HELL is going on?

i turn down Timberlake, roll down the windows and..

"... um....HI??"

"hello ma'am. we're going to need to do a full search of your vehicle."

...."HAAA.ha. um.. ".. i just looked at him. like.. your'e kidding? right?!... ".. are..are you serious?"...

oh shit. did i run a stop sign or something? shit!

"yes ma'am. we've had a convict escape from the DB (disciplinary barracks), so we're doing a full search"

:: blank stare::

ummmmmm.. did he just say?? .. did he just say there's a murderer on the loose?

can't be good.
aaand, i guess that explains all the armed men at the front gate, too. huh.

"um, right.. so, okay.... do i. um?? ... do you want me to get out, or??" all of a sudden i get really nervous, my body starts emanating heat, and i start to sweat.

OMG this is highly unusual and why am i so nervous?

YOU DON'T ASSOCIATE WITH CONVICTS!!

"yes ma'am. exit the vehicle"

oh god oh god oh god oh god....

i walk around my car, opening all the doors.. they peek inside and.. almost to my surprise, there's no convict hidden behind seats.

oh wow thank god..

they declare me good to go, let me back in my car, and send me on my way.

as i drove off i saw them get back behind the bush and hunker down for the next car to roll by.

holy shit. that was like straight out of a movie!

after the gym i booked to back to the office, anxious to spread the news. in the middle of regaling the room full of retired army-types with my tale of ESCAPED CONVICT!!! MEN WITH GUNS!!! and SEARCHED CARS!!! i notice they all seem to sort of be... laughing at me.

i stop with my tale, look around the room and innocently just sort of ask..

"well. what?! it was INTENSE!!!

the room burst out into laughter, the whole thing was a joke, they run DB drills all the time and the search was a fake.

"WHAT!!!? nooo!! it was totally real!!"

as my co-workers were getting in a good laugh i realized well... huh. i guess those soliders DIDNT really seem all that concerned.

certainly FELT real.....

i sat back down at my desk, hung my head, and shut my mouth.

i am never living this down.
not ever.

but i SWEAR it seemed real!!

sheesh.