Little Miss Runner Pants

ok. to my yoga instructor tonight?

seriously?
can i just say..?

you have guhh....

*sigh*

you have gahh...

*double sigh*

omg i don't even have the energy to complete my statement.

what i mean to be saying, is..

you have GOT to be @%$#!&* KIDDING ME, WOMAN!

that. was. in. sane. that was inSANE. she is straight up out of her gawl'dang mind. HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, FOR THAT LONG, IN THAT POSITION, EVER.

not. ever.

NEVER.

i don't care if apparently my body does it. i don't care if i'm blessed with some sort of bendy gene that makes you think i'm stronger than WE BOTH KNOW I AM. i don't care if breathing deeper, hollow-y-er, or being more focused will get me there...

I THOUGHT MY SHOULDERS WERE ABOUT TO CATCH FIRE.

i.
cannot.
do a handstand.
on my forearms.

no matter what.

(ok maybe just a little bit and definitely only with her holding my legs to steady me... but still.)

mother-of-gawd.

i hurt from the earlobes down.

i thought yoga was supposed to be about stretching. and relaxation.

instead, there is a strong possibility that because of yesterday's swim, combined with tonight's seriously inhumane yoga session i will not be able to wash my hair tonight.

or tomorrow.

or ever. again.

i'm relatively certain i've lost all arm capabilities what-so-ever, in fact.

i'll probably have to just shove my face into dinner tonight because right now the idea of holding a fork up to my mouth makes me want to cry in the corner.

good. GAWD.

*sigh*

i need a drink...