Little Miss Runner Pants

i just received the following from my multisport club...

the KCM Arctic Challenge...
"Join your fellow KCM Members for an off-road, winterized day of multisport fun when we take to the trails of Shawnee Mission Park for our inaugural KC MultiSport Polar Challenge on Saturday, January 26th. Leave the singlet and trainer at home for the day and come find out why multisport athletes the world-over are hitting the trails for off-season fun and fitness. This race is perfect for first-time off-road athlete looking to get their feet wet (not literally) in the world of mountain biking, trail running, and navigation/orienteering."

um... hello!?!!!!?!

are you frick-frak-frocking kidding me? do you know how much absolute fun this would be?!

its a 2-person team event that will consist of running/hiking/riding trails/roads while using a map to find checkpoints scattered around the park over a course that "should take 1.5-3 hours to complete"...

OMG THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST ADVENTURE EVER! so..all i need is someone to race with. and i'm pretty sure i can convince someone to join me based on this rather impressive list of qualifications thats i just came up with on my very own.

1.) i am clearly the mostest funnest person ever, and while i have zero experience in the sport of adventure racing, i....
2.) probably totally have some mad map reading skillzzzz
3.) have not actually ever been mountain biking but i like to jump the curb on my road bike as much as the next guy so.. how different could it really be?
4.) once hiked up a mountain in mexico. i'm not certain exactly how that relates, but.. i feel confident that it does.
5.) no matter the mental/physical challenge, my response is almost always to laugh hysterically. considering the fact that i have no idea what i'm doing.. that should make for fun times all around.

so see?!?! how could anyone in their right mind turn me down?!

i mean come on!

Posted by a.maria at 8:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

i threw up a little in my mouth when i saw this. i'm relatively certain this profile will haunt my dreams for months to come.

....... needless to say, training is ON.

Posted by a.maria at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

(100% no doubt about it taken from the triathletemag.com site... for the *actual* article, click here.)

by Brad Culp

Dec. 12, 2007 -- Singapore, Pucon, Brazil, Monaco, South Africa. If you take a look at the list of Ironman 70.3 events you’ll notice some pretty exotic locations. Lawrence, Kansas definitely isn’t one of them, but it’s a perfect town for triathlon and on June 15, 2008, Lawrence will host the inaugural Ironman 70.3 Kansas.

We know what you’re thinking…why Lawrence, Kansas? Why not Costa Rica, Thailand or New Zealand? We were thinking the exact same thing when we heard about the event, so naturally, we asked race director Tom Ziebart (also RD of Ironman 70.3 Florida, Steelhead and Firecracker Tri), why in the world did he pick Lawrence?”

“Lawrence is a pretty unique town. It’s often called the Boulder or San Francisco of the Midwest,” Ziebart said. “It has an aura of ‘hippiness’ that people don’t expect when visiting Kansas.”

The laid back lifestyle likely comes from Lawrence being a true college town. The University of Kansas runs the show in this relatively small town and college basketball is King when it comes to sports.

While you’re in Lawrence, be sure to visit the Free State Brewery and ask a local how they feel about Missouri…seriously. According to Ziebart, the two States have a “Fun, but serious rivalry.” Missourians burned down Lawrence during the Civil War and locals still haven’t completely forgiven their neighboring State.

Okay, enough about Lawrence. Sure, it’s great, but you’re really coming to race. The expo will be unique as it will be one of the few on the Ironman circuit to take place in the heart of the city. Most expos are relegated to some far away corner of a city, but this expo will bring athletes to the heart of the city (much like Ironman Coeur d’Alene).

The 1.2-mile swim will take place off of Bloomington Beach at Clinton Lake. The Lake is one of the cleanest in all the Midwest an actually supplies Lawrence with it’s drinking water. Over 400 campsites are available around the lake, with prices less than $20 per night.

The bike course will cover the Southwestern roads of Douglas County. It is a bike route known to locals as the “Iron Cross” (due to the intersection of two of Douglas County’s major highways). The course offers athletes a mix of winding, flat stretches and short, steep climbs. Wind may be a factor (this is Kansas), so it’s best to check the expected gusts before race day and then decide on the proper set of wheels. The course is flat enough to run a disc as your rear wheel, but if the wind is gusting around 20mph, you may want to reconsider. According to ZIebart, you can expect a headwind going out and a tailwind coming back.

The run will take athletes around Clinton Lake (just to the West of Lawrence) and through the town of Clinton. There’s a mix of paved asphalt and packed trails throughout the rolling run course. The final mile is all downhill as athletes head back toward the lake for the finish.

Expect the low temperatures in the morning to be around 62 degrees, with afternoon highs reaching the low-80s.

Posted by a.maria at 3:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

omg so i totally got to shoot guns yesterday!

like for real, bang bang, chik-chik, pull the trigger guns!!!

(actually there was only one gun small enough for me. but i shot it a LOT!)

and okay listen, i know what you're all thinking...the last thing this world needs is ME with a rifle.

but, i was highly supervised, wearing the proper safety devices and at an acutal shooting range so it was totally legit.

and besides that, turns out... I'M A TOTAL STUD!

oh my gosh. i cannot even explain to you how much fun this was. and how much even MORE fun it was when i
didn't miss!

here are some things that i learned:

1.) guns are loud. if you're going to be readjusting your headphone things... make sure its not while someone next to you is shooting.

that was dumb.

2.) when boys say "there's practically no recoil with this".. they lie. as my "balance" pic above will illustrate, i was quite shocked at how the thing wanted to throw me back.

3.) positioning is everying. i heard horror stories of peeps that had the butt of their gun in the wrong place and they walked around with a gimp arm for weeks. fortunately as previously explained, in no uncertain terms, i'm a stud.

therefore i was unaffected by this.

4.) you really do get to yell "PULL" when you shoot.

5.) there is not a man in the skeet box that hears you yell and sends them flying. instead there's a little remote with three buttons... HIGH, LOW, DOUBLE, and a trusty friend pushes whatever button when you yell pull.

not surprisingly i got just as much enjoyment out of hitting the buttons as i did shooting the guns.

you might say i'm easily amused.

5.) the absolute 100% most fun without a doubt part of the entire adventure is charging the gun. omg. i giggled like a school girl.

every time.

6.) when smoke comes out the middle of the gun, its best not to cause alarm that "omg i broke it".

turns out thats totally fine.

7.) when shooting twice in a row, its important to remember to actually go ahead and DO that really fun "pumping" part. the gun will not work otherwise. and if you forget to do this more than once, you're a dunce.

9.) i'm a dunce.

10.) it helps immeasurably to keep your eyes open when pulling the trigger. you would assume this to be obvious, but trust me... its not.

and.. number eleven.) don't go shooting if you don't want a gun, because i never thought i would before and now...

now i totally do!

Posted by a.maria at 9:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (168) | TrackBacks (0)

sitting around this morning talking with my co-workers (well... what's left of them) i realized i was way out-numbered.

there's an ex-marine, ex-infantryman and ex-air force pilot. when talk turned to guns, guns and more guns, i knew there was no chance of conversation participation.

until, of course, i let it slip that... i've never even HELD a gun!

they. went. nuts.
"how? how is that possible?! didn't you go shooting in high school? where are you from? your parents don't have guns? what is wrong with you!!?!?!"

....ummmmmmm...

so.. yeah. to rectify the situation i think i convinced them to take me shooting tomorrow and call it "research" on post at ft. leavenworth.

apparently the gun for me is a remington 870 (no idea what that is, but apparently the ex-infantryman is bringing his youth one for me. cuz.. i'm so short. sad.), a 20 gauge and a bennelli.

again. no idea what those actually are. all i requested was one that does the chik-chick sound!!! and they assured me it would.

nice.

(i am SUCH a girl.)

Posted by a.maria at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

m'kay. as its that time of year again, i'll be doing a lil'bitty overhaul of the site in order to get ready for the new year. its been forever since i cleaned out my blog, so some entries will be heading to the trizzy... in case you're wondering where sh*t went!

other than that, its business as usual. OnlineHotGuy just called me and i promptly hit "ignore".

as you can see, things are moving right along schedule!

Posted by a.maria at 2:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

yup. i did. i made it out to the event. and i am so. glad. i. did.

after listening to everyone go on and on about the race at the KCM christmas party... and noticing that the majority of conversation participants were attractive-figures-of-the-male-persuasion... i figured what the hell. i should go!

just after noon 0% and i made our way out, arriving in the middle of the elite women's race, and.. my first impression of the sport as a whole can most accurately be described in two words:

HOLY SHIT!

0%'s husband, as well as some other friends from the club, do cyclocross all the time. i've heard all the stories about mud and trees and obstacles and biking, but...
i dunno. i guess never really put it together in my head quite right because i was NOT expecting to see what i saw.

because what i saw was just straight up nuts.

first of all, the races have been going since thursday. its been snowy/icy/focking freezing cold all week and.. to your typical cyclocross-er.... thats a GOOD thing. the course was a mess. it was mud and slush in some places, rock hard frozen dirt in others. the course wound up and down and turny zig zag, all over the friggin place, and then towards the back...

there were stairs.

............. STAIRS!

as in.. doo-doo-doo, riding my bike. oh hey whats up, stairs... get off my bike, shoulder it, run up these mondo stairs... doo-doo.. get back on my bike, riiiiide down the hill, take a SHARP turn right, oh look... more stairs

i mean...

what the hell?!?

they're insane. covered in mud, falling, crashing into each other. running down hills with bikes on their shoulders, practically taking out spectators at every turn..

it was awesome!

and? not only that?!

these dudes are HOT! (i'm just sayin...)

all in all, it was some serious fun. and, for those of you that don't know... here's how it works (cuz i learned. so now i shall share...):

the start is like the start of a your typical race. all the cyclists are jammed together, someone shoots off a gun, and BAM! begin.

the cyclists take off at sprint speed. i dunno if ALL races are this way, but in this case.. they start on pavement. they go down a little and then veer off into this random field. the course itself is a few bikes wide, so the beginning is fun to watch as they're all elbow to elbow knocking into each other.

so. they're on the course. the course is super windy with lots of up/down/sharp turn/back up/turn/etc... and there are various obstacles. because of weather conditions this particular race didn't have little barricades but often times they do. anyway.. they go around and around and around.. as many laps as they can for like 45 minutes.

and whoever's fastest wins.

HOW.EV.AH... if you get lapped... you're out. *and*... if you have some sort of mechanical dysfunction, you have to run your bike along the course all the way back to the pit to get a new one...

not like in, say, the tour, where they'll hand you a bike right on the course.

so.. its crazy. some peeps are biking, some are walking, some are biffing it.. HARD...

its pretty sweet.

and then whoever gets to the finishline first after your 45 minutes are up...

well. you win!

(more pics to come. 0% took'em, so i'll get them up as soon as i can!)

Posted by a.maria at 5:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

for those of you that don't know anything about cyclocross... the above picture should give you a general idea of what the sport consists of.

plainly speaking, cyclocross is a form of bicycle racing. Races take place typically in the autumn and winter (the international or "World Cup" season is September-January), and consists of many laps of a short (2.5–3.5 km or 1.5–2 mile) course featuring pavement, wooded trails, grass, steep hills and obstacles requiring the rider to quickly dismount, carry the bike whilst navigating the obstruction and remount in one motion. Races for senior categories are generally between 30 minutes and an hour long, with the distance varying depending on the ground conditions.

basically... its an obstacle course on bikes that kicks ass. i mean.. thats the only way to describe it.

and... cyclocross nationals just happen to be... THIS weekend.. IN kansas city!

yeah that's right.. kansas city. the SAME kansas city that just got hit with an ice storm and is allegedly receiving 3-6 inches of snow this weekend.

did i mention cyclocross is hardcore?! umm. yeah.

so, for those of you looking for something to do this weekend come out and join, it's sure to be an amazing race. all i can say is...

better them than me!

Posted by a.maria at 12:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

yup. the midwest is getting hit.

still.

last night it wasn't NEAR as bad as everyone thought it was going to be, but this morning it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

this is what it looks like out my front door:

not bad, really. kinda pretty and very mild. it's been straight up raining here now for several hours though and if that all starts to freeze....

this is what radar looks like when i pop in my zipcode:

yeahhhh... not lookin' too good.

and less than 5 mintues ago half the limbs of the tree across the street from me sorta just... collapsed.

SO..

good times.

can i just say how much i'd really rather be in Texas right now?!

i mean... really.

Posted by a.maria at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

so its race day morning. my mom and dad and i are in Lawrence in the middle of this big field and we've got all my stuff. my bike, helmet, wet suit, shoes... everything.

we walk up to this big booth, and i get my ID out to show the lady working the booth that.. yes, its me. can i have my bib number please?!

i get up there, she takes my ID and tells me.. "sorry. you're not on the list"

"um.. okay?! what do you mean "not on the list"...?!"
"i mean.. you're name's not here. you haven't paid to race yet."

"uhh. yeah. actually.. i HAVE. i already paid. i paid forever ago. i was the first one to pay!! my race number is 69!!"

"i'm sorry ma'am. you're not here. you can't race today"
"WHAT!?! but.. but.. i have to. i have to race today!! today is race day!! i have to race!!"

"i'm sorry. but there's no way we're letting you race today. you're not ready. you haven't trained enough, there's no way you'll survive. we can't let you race today"

.... and then i woke up.

*sigh*
is it just me or does that feel mildly like a bad omen?!

i'm officially freaked out now.

o.ffic.ial.ly.

Posted by a.maria at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

i just ran for 60 minutes, swam for 20 and sat in the sauna for 10.

if that's not a fun way to spend 90 minutes, then i don't know what is.

and by the way... sculling?!

HA!!! i lasted exactly one lap and promptly decided that that was the stupidest thing i have ever done. as a way to spend 20 minutes in a pool.. i don't suggest it.

however, as a way to sculp/torture the arms...

i'd say it ranks right up there around highly effective.

highly.

which of course is why i look forward to doing it again in the near future.

i'm a masochist that way.. what can i say?!

Posted by a.maria at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

i know. you're all probably asking that question right now.. er at least vaguely wondering what the hell since... this is supposed to be the blog of little miss RUNNER pants, right?!

so... to answer...

YES! yes i am.

after having suffered for the past several months from some sharp pain in my knee, i finally did something about it and... IT WORKED!

or.. its working, anyway. and tonight marked my first night back.

exactly one-half hour of running pain free.

good god was i exhausted!! surprisingly, swimming lungs and running lungs just aren't the same thing.

who knew?!

however, the experience was completely joyful. i've been not running for so long that i honestly sort of forgot how much i need it.

and, this all comes in good time because... for those of you also involved in HIM-KS you might notice the race is exactly 6 months and 11 days away.

e-lev-en-days.

so... i sorta freaked today, called my coach and told him he'd BETTER have a plan. and tell me what it is. soon.

cuz this chick needs to train!

therefore... my days of having nothing to write about are nearly thru.

i'm just not sure if that's a good thing or not.

guess we'll find out soon!

Posted by a.maria at 10:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

for those of you keeping tabs at home...

pomegranate vodka: $23.00
drunk dialing/texting boys while on pomegranate vodka?!: priceless

also... word of advice!?!

sometimes not knowing what you texted while drunk is better than finding out.

i just went through my "sent" messages and found the following texts, that have nothing to do with anything that i remember about the night...

sent: "Iii!"

sent: "surl awake?!"

sent: "i need to pee but they playing journey.." (actually that has to do with the fact that i was at a dueling piano bar and... they were playing journey. i just can't actually believe i felt the need to text this to someone.)

sent: "titties and beer" ........ don't ask.

sent: "they played the little mermaid. i know all the words"

... what's important to keep in mind here is that i'm having a complete one-way conversation with this person. i had, in the 72 texts i apparently wrote... received 3 or 4 back. mostly one word answers having to do with "you're an idiot stop texting me its 1 in the morning".

*sigh*
onward...
(and the next two are truely the icing on the cake)

sent: "chicken fried chicken"

sent: "foiled!"

... i then went on to send a series of texts asking the poor recipient why on EARTH they weren't answering the phone?!

unfortunately for me this afternoon.. that reason has just become all too clear.

Posted by a.maria at 2:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)