a few tips for the wannabe bachelorette...
... first and foremost, don't drink.
don't. drink.
not just don't drink too much... but...
DONT. DRINK.
we all know its a champagne-fest-open-bar-debauchery night one (and two.. and three... and four...) but for gawd's sake, just don't drink.
slurring, stumbling, cursing, snorting, burping... these are not attractive traits. especially not on national tv on a first-impressions-mean-everything kind of show!
... secondly? don't sing.
don't come with a song prepared, don't make one up on the spot. don't hum, don't whistle... just. don't. sing.
don't sing the national anthem (what WAS that last year???!!) don't whip out your guitar and play... DONT SING!
in fact try not to attempt to make music at all.
.... don't prepare a schtick.
DON'T DO IT!
don't do push ups. don't arm wrestle the guy (cuz he'll WIN!). don't throw down a rock-paper-scissors battle and don't give him a gift.
don't do cartwheels, don't pull your head between your legs.
don't lap dance.
don't do the splits.
don't do back flips
DON'T TAKE YOUR KNICKERS OFF AND PUT THEM DOWN HIS PANTS!
don't. do it.
and finally...
please don't cry.
you just met the man, he is NOT the love of your life, getting rejected by him is not a commentary on your life and you will be fine.
DON'T! CRY!
Comments
I just read your post and they are just on the interview part of the show. I don't think I'm even going to watch.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | March 17, 2008 10:45 PM
Cracks me up! SOOOOO true. Used to love that show - watched it with my dear friend, her husband, and my man at the time. Every time - no wonder they're single, right?
Posted by: Sarah | March 18, 2008 11:27 AM
I think this advice works in real life as well as TV, eh?
Posted by: greyhound | March 19, 2008 11:01 AM
Fantastic advice. It's mind-boggling how the girls all show up convinced that they're in love with him.
I've almost let the show go. Almost.
Posted by: Donald | March 19, 2008 05:34 PM