Little Miss Runner Pants

36.819 ... 2:35

17mph pace on the way out...
13 mph pace on the way in...

ouch! someone needs to learn to pace!

so. my two and a half hour ride went something like this:

if you take a little look on the map...

miles 1-6: sweet. i totally got this. i'm totally riding my bike. SWEET!

--- stop light number one turns red. then green. ---

shit. shitSHIT. clip-in

foot slides off the pedal as i oh so ungracefully manage not to fall.

clip. clipIN! whatthefuckiswrong-CLIP-youstupidsonofa-CLIIIIP!!!

phew.
we're cool.

--- stop light number two turns red. then green. ---

ok seriously. what is WRONG with you?!

CLIP IN!!!

--- stop light number three turns red. then green. ---

ooooh for f*cks sake.....

(as you can see, i seem to have a wee bit of difficulty with the whole clipping in of the pedal. and seeing as how this only ever occurs as i'm trying to cross the street while cars are whizzing past me...

its a bit uncool.)

by stop light number four, i'd already decided to one-leg drill it through the light and deal with clipping in once the cars had passed me by. pedaling through the intersection, only to find out i wasn't clipped in because my foot kept FLYING off the pedal was..

well.
stupid.
but i made due.

at mile six i had one of those really lovely hills where its mostly like --

"oh hey guess what, you have to turn left here, and go up a hill. only to be followed by an immediate right and then a hill so steep you'll feel like you're on your way to meet god. so get up outta your seat

AND CLIMB, BITCH!"

lovely. really. i enjoyed it so much.

(#@%$#).

from there until about roughly mile 11 i had rolling hills. cars that were completely used to bikes and really no major incidents to speak of.

i even passed some chick, going UPHILL, who i guessed weighed about half my size, so i took the opportunity to feel pretty bad ass for a few more miles after that.

.......

and then there were hills.

big monster giant make-your-lungs-burn hills. i could feel my hamstrings tightening up into a ball, my quads felt as light as iron and i swear i was breathing so hard i think i felt blood eep out through my ears.

but just over 3 more hills i met bliss. and we fell completely and totally in love.

winding curves, slight rolling hills... gorgeous houses surrounded by acres of land... trees and streams and big open fields.

and before i knew it, i was 18.5 miles out and just an hour and 5 into my ride.

(that's a 17mph pace, for those keeping track at home. how stoked was i!!?!)

unfortunately, looking back on it now...

i think i'd kicked it a little too hard on the way out. because on the way home... i wanted to cry.

i was doing pretty well heading back the way i came, but when i hit that section of hills, i sort of smacked right into The Wall and came THISCLOSE to calling it quits.

the rest of the ride was just one long smattering of ---"you can do this. we got this. we can get home." laced with "this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. you're not even half with through your race distance, you'll never finish this damn thing--- verbal abuse, all the way home.

never having ridden this route before all my visual cues were off. i'd think i was almost home only to top off another hill and find..nope... 20, 15, 10 more blocks to go.

it took an eternity, those last few blocks home.

i really really wanted to cry.

but, somehow, at 2:32 hours i pulled into my driveway and smiled.

i hadn't quit. i hadn't cried. i hadn't even gotten off my bike and just walked it home.

i'd made it two and half hours, on my own.

and as much as parts of it sucked, as often as i wanted to bail out again and again, i knew then, as i do now, that i'd just hit my first milestone.

several weeks ago i'd had myself convinced i'd learned all there was to know about me, my breaking point, and how much i have to give... all from running and that first year of the marathon.
i thought.. i dunno...

that i'd already passed all those self-tests that endurance training can give.

but not surprisingly, i was wrong. i have a determination and strength and will and drive that even i don't know about yet.

HIM training has just begun. and something tells me... i've still got a lot to learn!