Little Miss Runner Pants

with the IMKS 70.3 coming up around the corner, everyone's in hurry, quick, lets get it done! mode... and everyone, apparently..

includes peeps in print.

earlier today i received an email from the co-race director for IMKS 70.3 that basically informed me INK KC... (a trendy website/magazine that the KC STAR puts out, that's aimed towards "21-34 year olds who work and play in the KC area...")... picks one athlete a week to highlight in the area, and...

they've chosen ME!

oh shit. i could see this going horribly bad.

immediately thereafter i received an email from the chick writing the story.. INKKC Girl, basically letting me know who she is, and...

asking me various questions.

questions like..

Where do you live (city)
What is your occupation?
Are you married, in a relationship or have any kids?
How many Ironman competitons have you done?
Why did you get involved in them?
What does your training entail? How do you prepare for it?
And lastly, Please name (in your opinion) the Top 5 items an Ironman competitor should never be without.

....

*ahem*

okay. right. answer the questions. no problem.

Where do you live (city) ---- small suburb of KC.
What is your occupation? --- graphic designer.
Are you married, in a relationship or have any kids? ----

hmmmm.....

.... i'll just mention my dog, instead.

--- no, no, and no. but i have a great dog!

right. cuz now i'm the crazy dog lady. which is SOO much better than just being single. shit.

at least he's not a cat.

How many Ironman competitons have you done? ---- errrr....... none!!!
and here's about where she regrets having chosen me for this article.

awesome. this is FUN!!!

Why did you get involved in them? ---- all my great friends. awwwwwww. that means YOU guys! (but you weren't mentioned in my response. what, i'm single, attached to my dog, and a BLOGGER!??... yeah. cuz thats gunna help me get laid..)

What does your training entail? How do you prepare for it? --- woohoo! something i can actually answer! swimming/biking/running... a lot!

And lastly, Please name (in your opinion) the Top 5 items an Ironman competitor should never be without. ----- fickity fick fick. hell if i know!!!

this one took me a while. a long while. i'm not actually a reader of INKKC, so... i didn't know if this was a kinda silly, fun loving "harhar" article, or... if its for real.

my answers were..
um..

well, they were. we'll just leave it at that.

and we're done, right?!

W.R.O.N.G.

she emails me again and tells me oh!! we want to photograph your training!! when can we come out?!

whuuuuuuut!!?! my TRAINING!!?! ... NO!!

do you know what i look like when i train? i'm a MESS. i'm a mess, with no make up, my hair not done, and.. usually outfitted in neon orange and black SPANDEX.

mmm. yes. that will look loverly in print.

WTF!

adding insult to injury, she then, aaaagain, emails to ask..

"oh yeah, how tall are you and...... WHAT DO YOU WEIGH!!?!"

... translation... we here at INKKC are doing everything we can to make sure you, a single, dog-loving, otherwise normal but apparently relationship malfunctioning 28 year old woman, will never land a date again in this lovely city of ours.

cheers!

son of a bitch.

so... this is going well, non?!

*sigh*

so far, that's as far as we've got. but i have a feeling whenever she comes out to photograph me "train".. she'll probably catch me on my first fall of the season, mid-air, with a twisted grotesque look on my face and the only thing that will be in focus is my ass.

....mmm.

lucky me!