Little Miss Runner Pants

wow, guys. i have to say.. thanks for the feedback from sunday's ride. i was in a low place sunday night, but am feeling, now, much much better.

as i mentioned to a fellow blogger earlier this week.. i sort of thought i had this whole thing figured out. but truth is, there's so much to learn as an athlete. right when you think you've got it all under control, its like triathlon goes HAHAHAHA. you FOOL!!! and puts you in your place.

and thats what it did to me sunday. tenfold.

i think i'd taken for granted some of the lessons that i learned during marathon training a few years ago. some of the things i learned about me, about how strong i am. how much i'm worth...

i was aloof, and i started letting things slip, mentally.

and then sunday, when i wasn't really looking, all those fears and doubts snuck back in and slapped me around a bit.

luckily, i have people like you, and my "real life" friends and training partners, to gently but firmly give me a serious kick in the pants.

and for once... finally... it didn't take me 3 weeks to figure it out again. cuz the things is... i have changed. i'm not struggling to find myself anymore, at least not in the way i once was. the difference is now i have to remember that. and not just decide, as soon as things get rough, that its only the bad moments that define me, instead of all the good.

.... last night was supposed to be our first open water swim of the season. its been crazy around here weather-wise, and not surprisingly, at about the time we should have been getting in the water, the skies opened up and dumped rain and hail on us, postponing that first-of-the-season harsh reminder of what swimming in a lake with a few 100 other people is all about.

so instead i headed to the pool... and somewhere in the middle of my 2300yd swim...

i relaxed. and i found me again.

i found the me that knows she can do this.

i found the me that isn't afraid to say she's looking forward to the race. that she sorta thinks it might go really well.

that although its going to be SO HARD, and there will be moments when i am SO DONE and wanting to SO QUIT!!!....
that its going to be good.

and that i kinda think i'm going to love it.

........................ ten days and counting folks... are you ready!?!