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November 19, 2007

couples yoga.

... "ok. so the man is going to sit forward on the mat. crossing his legs in lotus, or half-lotus (think: indian style) or whatever feels comfortable... and now the girl is going to sit facing him, with her legs straddling the man, and her thighs resting on his thighs...."


*ahem*

yeah.

welcome to couples yoga.

leetle piece of advice?!

don't let your yoga instructor set you up with "this really fun guy" just so you can attend.

because?! in yoga instructor speak?

"this really fun guy" means a 55 year old divorced dude who feels it necessary to wear tights and make somewhat crude "so.. ya got any handcuff for this move?!" comments.

ooh yeah.
my saturday night rocked!!!

October 31, 2007

kicking my bendy ass.

ok. to my yoga instructor tonight?

seriously?
can i just say..?

you have guhh....

*sigh*

you have gahh...

*double sigh*

omg i don't even have the energy to complete my statement.

what i mean to be saying, is..

you have GOT to be @%$#!&* KIDDING ME, WOMAN!

that. was. in. sane. that was inSANE. she is straight up out of her gawl'dang mind. HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, FOR THAT LONG, IN THAT POSITION, EVER.

not. ever.

NEVER.

i don't care if apparently my body does it. i don't care if i'm blessed with some sort of bendy gene that makes you think i'm stronger than WE BOTH KNOW I AM. i don't care if breathing deeper, hollow-y-er, or being more focused will get me there...

I THOUGHT MY SHOULDERS WERE ABOUT TO CATCH FIRE.

i.
cannot.
do a handstand.
on my forearms.

no matter what.

(ok maybe just a little bit and definitely only with her holding my legs to steady me... but still.)

mother-of-gawd.

i hurt from the earlobes down.

i thought yoga was supposed to be about stretching. and relaxation.

instead, there is a strong possibility that because of yesterday's swim, combined with tonight's seriously inhumane yoga session i will not be able to wash my hair tonight.

or tomorrow.

or ever. again.

i'm relatively certain i've lost all arm capabilities what-so-ever, in fact.

i'll probably have to just shove my face into dinner tonight because right now the idea of holding a fork up to my mouth makes me want to cry in the corner.

good. GAWD.

*sigh*

i need a drink...

October 24, 2007

i'm a natural!!

back in college, when i realized doing yoga was sort of this very popular trend, i... kinda thought it was lame.

it was a bunch of chicks (usually), in a dark room, on these girly colored mats... basically all just... stretching. together. in a "find your third eye, feel the light shine through your belly button" kind of way.

and it?!
wurnt fer me!

since then i've taken a yoga class or two... mostly at 24Hr Fitness.. and used it for that exact thing.

to stretch.
usually either before or after a long run, and... i'd typically hightail it outta there when the ringing of the gong, "feel yourself sink into the earth" sort of loony business began.

a few weeks.. maybe a month ago however, a friend of mine.. Biker Chick... invited me to an actual yoga studio, and i decided what the hell...can't be any worse than what i'm used to.. right?!

i walked in and immediately knew it wouldn't be the same thing.
for starters, the TNT Tri-coach was the instructor and... i don't know her all that well, but i do know she's hardcore. in pretty much whatever she does, so..

huh. this could get interesting.

as the hour progressed, TriCoach talked us through a variety of poses that i'd not only never done before, i'd never seen, never would have imagined a body could do, and really never had a desire to try myself.

it was rough. and unlike 24HRFIT, where they just kind of go through the motions and you tag along... TriCoach walked around making adjustments on all of us, keeping our hips/shoulders/body in line, and quickly i realized...

um. OUCH.
apparently when you yoga RIGHT.. it sort of hurts.

A LOT.

after that class life sort of got a little busy and i haven't had the opportunity to go back.

until last night.

ooooooh, last night.

i walked in, just before 6pm, and was greeted by the owner.. YogaLady.. to find not only was i one of two people that showed up that night (can we say LOTS of one-on-one?!)... but also class would be held...

for an hour and a half.

...... joy.

before we got started YogaLady asked about my experience with yoga... (almost none)... assured me that i can take a break whenever i need, and we began.

can i just say? right now? that yoga?

KICKED MY ASS.

that woman had me in the most ridiculous, body quivering, muscle aching, hard to hold positions i've ever been in. it was insane.

how. ev. ah....

half way through the class, as i'm bent over in warrior one, with my right shoulder inside my right knee, my left arm shooting up to the cieling and her coming over to rotate my left shoulder around and then down behind my back so that my right finger tips and left finger tips can touch underneath my leg..

yeah. RIGHT!...

she sort of whispers, in that very yogini way... "wow. your hips are incredibly open for a runner. this is impressive, you're a natural at yoga. you really are".

......................... HA!!!!!

HA!
...... HA!

i'm a natural at something!!!
WHO KNEW!!?!?

in my mind i took a minute to visualize myself doing a little dance of happiness and then, because my concentration was now... well. it wasn't... i sort of fell out of position and tumbled onto the floor.

but her point was made, and my feelings about yoga have definitely changed.

in the coming few weeks i have a lot of crazy going on. but one thing i know is that my interest has been piqued, and i plan on exploring this "natural" thing much, much more!