Bay to Breakers; Swag Galore
The story of my race weekend starts on Friday afternoon, as I sauntered through the B2B expo, picking up my T-Shirt and buying a new pair of running shorts. On a whim, I also purchased a mug from the 2006 race for $5. Along with my commemorative timing chip (forced on all entrants), I thought I made out pretty well.
Then I got home to find a package waiting for me. I went through a mental checklist (did I order anything... bodybuilding.com? No. amazon.com? No. zombierunner.com? No.) What could it be? Turned out it was a Boston Marathon windbreaker. I had sent an email two weeks ago asking if there was any way for me to exchange the large shirt I had ended up with at their expo, because they had run out of medium. In true New England fashion, they had been short on communication (no reply), but came through with action. Neat little jacket; AND I still have the shirt I got in Boston, which I might be able to use as a spinnaker.
Then, today, I capped things off (no pun intended) with a runner's cap that was given to the first 500 finishers. Oh right, there was a race...
Third time at Bay to Breakers for me, and I've got my routine down pat. I got to the front of the "mere-mortals" section about an hour before race start and let myself get squashed in like a sardine in a can as runners and walkers packed Howard Street. I saw my first naked guy around 7:10am; luckily, he wandered off, maybe scared away by the religious fanatics who stand line abreast every year, facing the crowds with cheerful signs that say things like "The wicked shall be tossed into hell and all the nations that forget God." Another sign had the word "Homosexual" on it, and I doubt it was an endorsement. These guys form a counterpoint to the rest of the race, of course. I find it fascinating every time.
Anyway, I found the race to be more crowded than last year, and I wasn't even able to retie my shoes before the start. Weaving in and out of the slow-pokes around me, I managed to hit a good speed after about half a mile, and was completely unencumbered by about 3.5 miles. Running for time like I was meant I missed most of the fun and costumes, although I did get glimpses of naked/scantily clad people, none of them welcome.
Hayes Street was as always a challenge, but I thought I timed my effort perfectly, and my legs turned to rubber only about 30 yards from the top. Luckily, rolling down the hill into Golden Gate Park allowed them to solidify again. I had crossed the mat in 18:06, on a 6:44 pace. So far, so good.
By the time I had reached the pan handle, I was in a group of runners who matched my pace. I tucked in behind one or two people when the breeze kicked up, but I felt really strong (just not too fast) as we moved west on JFK drive. This part of race is a little deceiving though, since it's mostly downhill. Of course I felt great! I also enjoyed getting away from the crowds and the hubbub, and got to appreciate the race for what it is, a challenging cross-city dash, through urban areas and a park, to the beach.
My finishing kick held off anyone who was still behind me, and I completed the race in 48:13 (6:28 pace), good for about 150th place and one of those running caps. How did I know my placing? Let me tell you, technology has come a long way. Shortly after the finish line, there were volunteers with "wands" ready to read your chip. The wand goes BEEP, the attached computer flashes, then a little machine prints out a small sticker with your time and place (overall, gender and division). This is all about 10 minutes after I cross the finish line.
After walking for about a quarter of an hour, I put in another easy three miles through the park (headed east this time) and rejoin the race, flumine adverso, around the pan handle. As I walk back to the BART station, I try to take in the some of the crazy goings on. Highlights include:
- Numerous scantily clad, intoxicated women of probably (hopefully?) questionable morals.
- A guy dressed as Anton Chigurh, complete with cattle gun
- People wearing colored boxes turning them into Pacman and those ghosts that chase him around. They re-enact the game all over the race course
- At least two pirate ships. Kudos to those guys for pushing those contraptions up (and down) the Hayes Street Hill
- Another completely naked guy, drunk to the point of incapacitation, and oiled up like an Italian sausage (whoah... again, no pun intended)
- A shopping cart dressed up as a space shuttle, with two gravity bongs attached. If you don't know what a gravity bong is, you haven't gone to college. Or you went to the wrong college
- Apropos bongs, I catch a number of whiffs of the green stuff
- Another float features a lady (see bullet one) who looks like she's being mounted by a large, four-legged furry animal they've built. Even I'm a little shocked by this
By the time I reach Market Street, I see the end of the procession, and it is not a pretty sight. The average BAC of the group has climbed steadily, people are peeing and puking in the streets, and it's just a huge mess in general. Homeless people are bringing up the rear, collecting discarded plastic bottles and aluminum cans for recycling. This kind of puts the damper on my mood.
No two ways about it, Bay to Breakers is an event like no other.