onepinkfuzzy

(the hotel has wi-fi! woo hoo!!!! and thanks for all the well-wishes!!!!!!)

So we headed up to Phoenix on Thursday afternoon, a day earlier than we expected, due to the memorial service for my late step-grandmother. Ash has not experienced human death before, so this was a new, and somewhat scary, evening for him. They had an open casket, which I found very difficult. Ash had a tough time with the service ? he didn?t understand what was going on. He and Johnny were in and out of the building, since Ash didn?t want to have to keep quiet. He has a tendency to narrate his life, from the moment he wakes up until his eyes fall closed at night. And if he comes upon an experience he cannot narrate, he asks many questions to understand what is going on. As we were buckling him into his car seat after the memorial, I commented on something about how he was talking so well, and he told me,

?I just have so many words in my tummy!?

Brilliant.

So we managed to wind our way north from Mesa to Fountain Hills, and find our hotel. It was 8:30 by the time we got into our room, and about an hour and a half past Ash?s bedtime ? but the pool looked so inviting, we had to go! We quickly changed into our swimsuits and ran downstairs to enjoy the pool and Jacuzzi before it closed at 9 p.m. The Jacuzzi was amazing ? the perfect temperature. I was disappointed that we weren?t staying at the hotel Saturday night ? it would have been the best ending to 31 miles of running. Alas, I had counted on my mom?s hot tub being completed, but it was not. :( No hot tub for me after my first ultra.

We woke up bright and early this morning, even though Ash got to bed very late. Darn it! He was exhausted, and so are Johnny and I ? none of us got much sleep with all the coughing between Ash and I. Johnny wanted a long run, so we all headed up to Pemberton so Johnny could do one loop, while Ash and I hung out.

Start/Finish

I really enjoyed being able to soak in the trailhead, temperature, staging area, desert, etc. beforehand. It was reassuring. Ash and I climbed a ?mountain? and I got to take great pictures of the entire 15.5-mile loop. We played soccer and watched a horse, cyclists and a hawk. Unfortunately, Ash fell asleep on the way back to the hotel room ? and woke up once we got there. Yikes! No nap + exhausted child = pain for the parents. *sigh*

So as I write this, Johnny and Ash are down at the pool, playing in the hot sun and I am eating a huge chunk of multigrain bread (yummy)and drinking Gatorade endurance. I am prepared for the race tomorrow. I have a few logistics left to think about, but overall, I am ready. Ready to go to bed early with Ash tonight, ready to get up early, ready to run 31 miles ? my body is craving it.

Someone asked me what lesson/memory/intention I wanted to take from this race ? and even a week ago, I would have replied, ?I want to do this to say, see, I am strong. I am confident/capable/athletic/not lazy.? But after this crazy week, with all the panic/fear/emotional roller-coaster I have gone through ? i.e. LIFE ? I have decided that what I want to take/remember/learn from this experience is merely, ?I AM.?