Embracing the Fear
Because I am a curious person, I want to take a leap of faith and attempt to change my worldview, at least for a trial period, to see what it's like to look at things from an abundance viewpoint. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to do that, but it will be soon.
Do you remember that part in one of the Indiana Jones movies where he has to cross a giant ravine? He and the girl think there is no way across. But he looks at it critically, and - strangely - throws some gravel across the ravine. And the stones reveal a bridge! It's painted to blend in with the cliffs of the ravine, so it looks as though there is no bridge. He reaches his leg out...and hesitates...before dropping it down - on to a solid bridge.
I have spent this last year doing just that - stepping out on to bridges that appear to not exist. I have thrown the gravel across the bridge, and know it's there, but that first step - that first leap of faith - is the scariest. I've come to almost enjoy it. Johnny calls it "embracing the fear."
she sits there
the breeze across her face
holding the hand of fear
she looks to the sky
knowing, knowing
it will turn out alright
escaping sometimes
when she knows it's safe
even though it's not easy
perserverance is her choice
faith in life and her breath
reassuring the fear
it's hard to embrace
the fear we have
she knows she can
she can
she will
she does
If there is nothing else in my life I can model for my son, it is how to love, and how to embrace fear - and move with it, beyond it.
Comments
DATE: 1:49 PM, March 23, 2006
Speaking of a beautiful post! Wow. It's funny, in college I learned to "embrace the fear", then a little more as I entered the corporate world. Then in the whirl of two young children in the house, I kind of settled into the comfort zone. (Of course becoming a parent is embracing the fear in its own right!)Then came the year that I blew past all the barriers and stepped out into a new job/field, running and lifestyle. I used to be terrified to speak in front of a group, but I took this teaching job anyway, and have become very comfortable in that role. Last fall I spoke to a group of over a hundred at the Y! This is probably kind of silly, but crewing for Rob last summer at Cascade Crest sucked me right out of my comfort zone. When I first said I'd do it, Eric and I were going to do it together. Then it turned out to be the same weekend as Hood to Coast, so Eric wasn't there. I have a very poor sense of direction, I am terrible at reading maps and I have a hard time figuring out right and left. I did it anyway - I drove alone on forest service roads, I peed in the woods, I met strangers at night (Olga, who turned out not to be so strange after all!). It was challenging and wonderful - and awesome to share a little bit of Rob's race. Anyway, I think we have to keep pushing the envelope in all areas of our life.
Posted by: backofpack | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 2:41 PM, March 23, 2006
Hi! Great Blog! I just came across it and had to add it to my links list. Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Jessica | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 7:47 PM, March 23, 2006
That was a very beautiful post! I echo your sentiments about what you can model for Ash. You and Johnny are very thoughtful, honest, brave people. He is definitely going to pick up all of the right things from you. :)
Posted by: matt | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 8:02 PM, March 23, 2006
I am an abundance person. I have always been this way. I am not sure why, but I look at things as you get what you give. It is not an easy transition, but definitely worth some experimentation to see how it works for you. I hope you get through the busy week and can enjoy a Saturday run.
Posted by: Rob | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 8:49 PM, March 23, 2006
Hmm...I can't say I enjoy or strive to embrace the fear, but for some reason life throws it left and right and that seems all I do - embracing. Can we NOT do it for a bit? There is one thing I am not doing (for Michelle) - speaking in public.
Posted by: olga | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 2:17 AM, March 24, 2006
Great post, a lot of wisdom there. You can, you will and you are doing! Keep moving.
Posted by: Jack | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 7:26 AM, March 24, 2006
Great post. Thanks for pointing me to the backofpack's post. Fear can be a motivator or a disabler. I think if we all looked at it that way - we'd more often choose motivation than the latter.
Posted by: DGC | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 12:15 PM, March 24, 2006
Great wisdom. Ash is lucky to have a mother like you.
Posted by: Susan | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM
DATE: 4:29 PM, March 28, 2006
Beautiful post. It's not easy to embrace the fear but yet the reward is amazing. A great lesson for you to show Ash.It's funny to watch my two kids. Jared is fearful...it's so rewarding to watch him get over those worries, concerns, etc...but also a little heartbreaking to watch sometimes.Kendall on the other hand has no fear. And I'm not quite sure what to do with that. Sometimes it makes my life easier knowing she'll just do it...but then again...a little bit of fear is a good thing.
Posted by: Kim | April 2, 2006 01:07 PM