Open mouth, insert foot
Do you ever just open your mouth and out tumbles exactly what you were thinking...in exactly the way you did *not* mean it???
I feel like that's all I've been doing these last two days.
I try to think before I speak. I try to evaluate what I am saying, how it could affect the other party, how it could affect me. I try to think of all possible interpretations and misinterpretations before I let loose. But it's not working.
The guilt swamps me. My stomach churns. I want to sink into the ground. Even better, sink into my bed, curled up under the covers, hoping no one finds me for a decade.
I'm glad I have enough courage to ask questions when I don't understand something, or state facts when they are otherwise misrepresented. But I don't like the fallout. Or more specifically, I don't like my perception of what the fallout could be.
I don't like thinking of what others must think of what I've said or done. I don't like reviewing my words or actions and realizing my thoughts were not conveyed in a pleasing manner. Pleasing to whom? I don't know. I don't like reviewing my words or actions and realizing my thoughts were not conveyed in the most specific, yet tactful, manner.
I'm human. I make mistakes. I say things wrong. I make assumptions based on misinterpretations. I have to remind myself that that's okay.
'Cause it sure doesn't feel okay.
Comments
I think that most of the time you should say what you mean and then deal with the consequences later. I think a lot of the time there is more growth that happens when you offend someone and actually get to talk to that person seriously rather than covering up what you have been thinking and feeling all along.
Posted by: Rob | July 12, 2006 06:52 PM
That's me all of the time. Sometimes my honesty hurts feelings and that's hard...especially when you don't realize it until later. Just remember that many more people think your honesty is a great trait.
Posted by: Jennifer | July 12, 2006 07:16 PM
Angie, I struggle with this one too. I choose to be careful of others feelings, yet try to be honest. I hate, hate, hate confrontation. So, though Rob encourages me to be direct and say what I think, it's a constant struggle. I like the blog world where I have time to think about it and how to say it. I think we all do it. I really believe though, that we have to be cognizant of others feelings - sometimes we can do irreparable damage if we speak too bluntly.
One other thing - perhaps a little bit of your current problem involves the painkillers? A little spacey? Not thinking clearly? Maybe?
Posted by: backofpack | July 12, 2006 07:17 PM
"I don't like thinking of what others must think of what I've said or done."
Read my mind...we ARE human, we DO make mistakes. We WILL move forward.
Posted by: olga | July 12, 2006 07:36 PM
What other people think is their own reality - you can affect it, but only they can change it.
You can look at mistakes and learn from them, but then you still need to leave them behind and move forward.
Angie, you'll feel much better when you can go for a run and clear your head - seriously.
Posted by: Ginger Breadman | July 12, 2006 07:52 PM
I do this. Many times without meaning to. A heartfelt appology will work wonders. Trust me.
Posted by: jkrunning | July 13, 2006 05:11 AM
I am constantly saying things that come out totally the wrong way. I literally did it not less than an hour ago. so you are in good (?) company. :)
hugs to you, and like jk said, an apology (and maybe a short span of time to let them forget a little!) should do the trick.
Posted by: sarah | July 13, 2006 07:58 AM
Yup!! I did this the other day at my running club potluck get together...I just blurt stuff out and then I think to myself wtf are you talking about...anyway I can only laugh now...don't harp on it….things will work out for the better!
Posted by: Ryan | July 13, 2006 08:20 AM
See from all the comments -- we all suffer from the same foot-in-mouth syndrome and outcome. This didn't have anything to do with your interview, did it?
Posted by: Anne | July 13, 2006 12:14 PM
There are things I have said or done over 10 years ago that *still* make my stomach churn when I happen to think about them. Guilt is a powerful thing. But it's also normal, natural, and if we didn't have a little it would make us psychopaths. It's figuring out when and how to let it go that is hardest. I feel ya'! We all do. :)
Posted by: miki | July 13, 2006 02:09 PM