Scolded by the doctor, 10,000 Visitors!, Running Blog Awards!, and Continuing Conversation on Open Mouth, Insert Foot syndrome
I had the follow up appointment with my doctor today. He scolded me when he found out I was already back at work this week. "Two weeks, Angie!" he said. "I tell my patients two weeks recovery time!" I decided he probably didn't need to know I drove myself over to his office (ouch, that hurt my tummy!). Okay, fine. I woke up this morning feeling awfully exhausted, so I won't go back to work this week. He told me my gallbladder was in very bad condition - acute cholecystitis with gallstones. The gallbladder was inflamed, swollen, hard and flopped over. Basically, I used it all up and then some!
Congratulations to someone who's ISP location is Los Angeles for being my 10,000th visitor! At 9:10 last night, they clicked over to my site from ultrachick's and spent 46 minutes hanging out. If you know who you are, please step forward, I'd like to know who my 10,000th visitor was, woo hoo!
RobbRunner has come up with a brilliant idea: Virtual Running Blog Awards! Go over to his site to let him know you are interested (all y'all need to do that!), and give him any additional ideas for categories that you can think of! Go, now, what are you waiting for!!!
Okay, to continue last night's conversation, Michelle - Johnny thinks you were spot on about the meds. He noticed that I was acting strangely since I've been on them, and rests assured that I'll go back to normal once I'm off them. I've been offering apologies where I can, and in the other situations, trying to just understand and have compassion (that is SORELY lacking in my life right now). I really appreciate everyone's comments, it is *so* nice to know that I am not the only one! I'd like to clarify for Rob - I do say what I mean all the time. My core values are honesty and integrity. I believe it is very important to use my voice and speak up. I just usually review how I want to say what I want to say before I speak, so that then I can have confidence knowing I spoke my honest truth in a way I can stand behind. And I still get caught up in the struggle of worrying about what other people think, other people's perceptions and interpretations! I'm learning to 'check in' with the other person, learning to make sure I'm not interpreting an interpretation on their end. Oy, it's so complicated! I have to take a step back, breathe and have compassion for myself. Now that I'm writing about all this, I'm wondering what my sanity is in speaking without thinking...(of course, like Michelle and Johnny say, it could be the meds. maybe.)
Comments
Angie, this reminds me of the intent/impact discussion that we had once in a workshop that I was attending. The idea was that it doesn't matter what your intent was, what really matters is the impact it had. I am perhaps overly concerned about how what I say and do impacts others (possibly the consequence of being the second of five children and filling the peacemaker role). I can think of a time recently when I was less than honest in my response to someone, because I knew she was in a fragile emotional state and that if I told her how I really felt, the impact would be too great. I'm okay with that. If it's a trade-off between me feeling irritated with her, and her finding some peace for herself, then I'll go for her finding the peace.
Sometimes honesty can be brutal. I always ask myself if it really serves a purpose, or if it is only to release my own pent-up emotions. Do I end up feeling good at the expense of others? Should I?
I think this is a gray area. I would say that when I am being less than honest (like I described above), I do not lie, but I am very careful about what I say, how I say it, and I keep some of it to myself. There's always a part of the honest truth in there, but not neccesarily the whole truth. Honesty, integrity are core values for me too, but with it I would add kindness, respect and responsibility. My responsibility is to respect where they are at, to respond with respect and kindness. That's my goal.
Of course, there are times when I do believe in blunt honesty - I had an incident of that recently too.
Okay, this is getting too long. Only one more little thing...I was told not to drive for a full week after surgery! Cut yourself some slack girl!
Posted by: backofpack | July 13, 2006 11:17 AM
Sore tummy driving, doc scolding you, time off work, lots of deep thoughts, meds making you crazy . . . you did just have surgery, remember. Go easy on yourself. It's amazing you're doing so much already!
Posted by: Ginger Breadman | July 13, 2006 11:18 AM
So hard to stay still isn't? Hang in there Angie...we got your back!
Posted by: Timber - The Trail Running Lab | July 13, 2006 01:39 PM
Had a feeling you shouldn't have been working yet :)
I was on your site last night from home. That might show up as being from L.A. Hmmm...
Posted by: Jessica | July 13, 2006 01:44 PM
I agree, it's nice to know that our perception of what others think when we talk and act doesn't bug only me but oh, so many of us! Makes me feel normal...well, sort of:)
Posted by: olga | July 13, 2006 01:47 PM
You're taking Vicodan, right? Then your loopiness is definitely the meds!
Take it easy. You'll be back to your old self (but better!) before you know it.
Posted by: Sarah | July 13, 2006 02:04 PM
yes, that was me! the 10,000 visitor! what are the odds? i should play the lotto now... :-) thanks for stopping by! i had written you a comment a few days ago, but i think it got lost in cyberspace, as it doesn't seem to be with the post i put it with. anyway, i basically was saying you're an inspiration and definitely the fastest non-runner --> ultra-runner transition i've ever heard of! wow! 7:22 is great! i finished my first 50k in 9:13 something. i was the youngest runner in the field at 28, finished last, and brought home a prize for first place female 20-29, how about that? just as odd as being the 10,000th person to click on your link!
cheers,
~nattie~
Posted by: Nattie | July 13, 2006 07:25 PM
I'm quite prone to the "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" syndrome and have spread my share of misery unto others over my lifetime. I tend to be brutally honest and generally say what's on my mind, although I am much more reserved and diplomatic than I used to be. On the other side I tend to be very understanding and forgiving. My wife tells me the combination makes her life interesting...
Don't be in too much of a rush to get back to work, heal up first so you can come back strong!
Posted by: Jack | July 13, 2006 09:08 PM
Angie- you and I are a lot alike! I'm the same way, I hate sitting around recovering...I went back to work for an evening only a few weeks after Marcel was born and everyone was yelling at me!
Re: your comment on my post yesterday- when y'all were in New York did you ever have Croghan Bologna?
Posted by: Jennifer | July 14, 2006 05:37 AM
you sound like my dad, can't sit still when you really need too! Hope you recover OK!
Posted by: turnip | July 14, 2006 09:48 AM
ohhh, so much going on in your life right now. That's bound to lead to strange thoughts and emotions. Hold tight....
Posted by: susie | July 14, 2006 11:07 AM
My 2 cents: I would much rather deal with someone that is blunt and honest than someone that acts like everything is fine but it really isn't. Take it easy on yourself - I've been following your blog for quite some time now and you seem to be an awesome person!
Posted by: D | July 14, 2006 01:06 PM