Exhausted
I'm exhausted. It's taking every last ounce of self-will to get myself out to run 2 miles or go to the gym. But I'm doing it. Gym on Tuesday night, run last night, run this morning. Planning on the gym tomorrow. Not sure how I'll get my long run in this weekend, since I'll probably be going up to see my mom in Mesa. Have no energy to record my workouts in my log. Must. Enter. Workouts.
This morning, I woke up at 5:45, all on my own - no alarm, no Ash, just me. I tossed and turned for a little bit before deciding what to do, I mean what's really the best way to spend a nice morning? Running, of course. So out I went. A little later than normal, and I forgot the watch and my cell phone (although I had my pepper spray and gatorade. and clothes. always important.). I went pretty fast on the way out, and slowed dramatically on the way back. It felt good to be in a groove.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning's gym session.
I'm looking for an inexpensive bike, so we'll see where that goes.
Because of everything I'm going through right now, I am unable to keep up with the blogging world. I will be around, but probably not commenting much. I'll be thinking of you all (and Rob and Olga, I have read the CCC100 reports, but it would take too much emotional energy for me to actually reply in the way I'd like to). Also, this blog is going to become dedicated to purely running. I'm sure y'all enjoy my random ramblings (note dripping sarcasm), but I think my energy would be better served rambling in a personal journal. I also think it'll be good to focus my running energy here.
Hopefully, the next two weeks will see me start to train for OP50. Ha. We'll see.
Comments
First, I came by earlier and couldn't find all the link to people's blogs. Do you know I use your page as my link to out-world? :) Fine, I'll focus more on those I really love! Like Angie.
Second, yep, girl, get out, simple steps bring happiness, even if for a moment. Just half an hour ago Oleg thanked me for introducing running to him - if I hadn't started, he wouldn't even have thought about it. Now he finds peace in it, stress relief, better sleep, better sex, easier mind work for grant writings and so on.
Then, hooray for beginning on a training plan for OD50! Send me a hoot if you need any kind of hints, any kinds at all. You know, one day some time ago I also started training for a 50M race...it seems to have been forever ago. Not that long ago, after I cried over my un-fulfilled WS100, a friend who kicked me into ultras emailed with words: 3 years, 3 WS finishers, did you even imagined things like that 4 years ago? Not in a million years! So before you know it, you'll be counting buckles (or no buckles).
Moving on, girl. Moving on, forward, every step.
Posted by: olga | August 31, 2006 08:09 PM
Angie, the blogging/time problem seems to be hitting all of us. Olga gives such good advice, I don't have anything to add. Keep moving forward (I heard that at CCC) and get through the turmoil in you life. Hold steady girl!
Michelle
Posted by: backofpack | August 31, 2006 08:28 PM
Glad you are getting in the running! Can't wait to hear about your next endurance event!
Posted by: Elizabeth | September 1, 2006 02:27 AM
Getting out of bed is the most important part! For me at least.
Looking forward to hearing about the training.
Posted by: Renee | September 1, 2006 04:05 AM
I find that running is a great way to get your mind off heavy thoughts. I recommend it as a therapy, and I'm sure it will help you, too.
Posted by: Thomas | September 1, 2006 05:34 AM
I definitely agree that running is the best therapy. Sorry to hear about your hard times. Running will keep you strong for yourself, your new job and Ash...
Posted by: turnip | September 1, 2006 06:25 AM
I think focusing your blog on just running makes complete sense. And remember - if you want to come out this way for Twin Peaks still you are welcome to stay with me.
I always find it amazing how physically drained we can get from emotionally demanding situations. You are a strong woman and you will get through this transitionary time and be even more stronger for it in the end!I always find it amazing how physically drained we can get from emotionally demanding situations. You are a strong woman and you will get through this transitionary time and be even more stronger for it in the end!
Posted by: Jessica | September 1, 2006 07:43 AM
Congrats on your job promotion!
Running is a great way to help us get through those rough spots of life. Hang in there.
Posted by: D | September 1, 2006 11:02 AM
I'm struggling like you and others with keeping up with the blog. It's a busy time or something! It's a lot of work sometimes. I'm really glad that you are getting back into the groove - getting all those runs in will benefit later on - you know it! Carry on girl!!
Posted by: Robb | September 1, 2006 12:41 PM
Great new outlooks you have. Good luck with all your hard training:-)
Posted by: steph | September 1, 2006 02:58 PM
Looking forward to hearing all about your OP50 training!
Posted by: Sarah | September 1, 2006 05:24 PM
Hey you gotta do what you gotta do for you. You are the only one that you have to make happy at the end of the day. Good luck to you and we'll be here when you feel better.
Posted by: jkrunning | September 1, 2006 06:48 PM
Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do - prioritizing, exercising, self-managing - having an outlet for thoughts whether it be a journal or a blog or both for different reasons is a great tool for emotions. Glad to hear you're so motivated about the running - it'll keep you sane.
Posted by: Ginger Breadman | September 1, 2006 07:07 PM
I only "know" you through the your written word, but my heart is heavy for you never the less. Never give up seems so trite, but I don't know what else to say.
Posted by: darrell | September 1, 2006 07:16 PM
I'm sure you have to be exhausted with all the transitions you're going through. Take some time for you but don't be a stranger. =)
Posted by: Rae | September 2, 2006 10:52 AM
It will all be okay baby. It is exhausting, confusing, scary, depressing, etc. And we will be okay. I'll always be here for you whatever may come or change. I'll always have a special love and connection for you no matter where we end up and I will always be here to help and support you. Even if I'm sad and scared, I won't forget you and I'll believe in you as you alone, regardless of us. Be the pinkfuzzy I've always seen and loved! Be free whatever it takes!
Posted by: j | September 2, 2006 04:26 PM
Angie .. I've been out of pocket this past week and I'm only now catching up on your blog. Sorry to hear about your breakup with your husband. Sounds like the two of you have your heads on straight, but I realize this will be a very tough transition for you. Don't be afraid to let us know how your doing along the way. We'll read it between the lines anyway and we do care.
Congrats on getting out of bed this morning. Getting your feet to hit the floor is the hardest step.
Hope your running this weekend goes well.
Posted by: Phil | September 2, 2006 06:41 PM