Destiny

I went to the gym yesterday morning, finally. I haven't been fitting much exercise in over the last few weeks. But I have moved into my own space, a tiny studio next to a market/bakery and just a few short minutes from Johnny's.

I finally got back out for an early morning run with Paki this morning. It's been at least a month, if not longer, and I think we've only had a handful of runs since before June 10 (Sugar & Spice 50k) and my gallbladder surgery. I live farther away now, and I don't think we'll be doing any more early morning runs - there's just not enough time to drive all the way to her house, run, drive all the way back, shower and drive to work! But we will start lunchtime runs soon.

It was a cool morning and the run was great. I've missed my weekly conversations with Paki! Sunday marks the one-year anniversary of our first race together. Neither of us feel prepared for it, but we're going to run it anyway.

I had so much to discuss with her, I think I dominated the conversation! There's nothing like working through things during a run.

Once the sun had risen and warmed our backs, with the wind whipping through our hair as we dodged leftover peices of debris from the summer's flooding, Paki mentioned destiny and balance. My flesh raised in goosebumps as we discussed how, when we first started running, I was in a 10-year-long marriage and offered tidbits of advice as she, a never-married, single independent woman, freaked out over a developing relationship...and now she is engaged to that man and offering me tidbits of advice as I am becoming a single independent woman. Each other's strengths have complemented each other's weaknesses, and together, we've supported each other and tuned in to listen to our internal voices to follow our paths of happiness, becoming even stronger women in the process - mentally and physically. I am so grateful to have her in my life, grateful for the support and lessons she's taught me over the last year and a half. I'm excited to run (okay, walk, I'm sure - parts anyway!) the race with her on Sunday.

PS Never let it be said I won't admit it when I'm wrong. I was wrong about Mr. Polka-Dotted Bathtub: I did hear from him; I'm not too Angie for him. I threw myself in a pity party in that last post, didn't I! :) Where are we going? No clue. Friends? More? The story is still being written.

PPS Olga pointed me in Craig's direction regarding a recent post about fear and change. Although my personal philosophy does not include faith in a creator, as Craig's does, this post still resonated with me and what I've been going through. I've referred to taking "leaps of faith" in the last year. To me, faith is trusting that I will be okay, no matter what happens. That is the single biggest lesson I have learned in the last year: how to trust myself that I will be okay, no matter what. I've learned how to step outside my box, step outside convention, step outside other people's thoughts, actions or judgments, to do what I need to do to maintain integrity in my life. Learning that if I make a "mistake" or take action in a way that nets me less-than-desirable consequences, there's nothing wrong with that! So, I won't do that again :) I'll choose differently next time. Life is one great big giant experiment, and sometimes that means the choices I make may blow up in my face, and other times, it means the choices I make may save humanity (or at least, me).