Changes
I don’t know where to begin.
My life changed this week. It took a direction I never thought it would take. I’m in shock. I’m trying to deal with it as best I can. I’ve been through worse; I can make it through this. (At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.)
It would be nice if all the slightly irritating things in life would stop, though. Things like locking myself out of the house, my car dying on me at the bank, the air conditioning going out at work, my computer going down. Really, isn’t one major crappy event enough for one week? Do I really need to deal with all the minor stuff too?
Okay, I’m done whining. Sorry.
Due to the changes occurring in my life, I can no longer go to Oregon next month; I won’t be running at the PCT 50k. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do the marathon in September.
I am angry; I am sad; I am grieving. This isn’t how I imagined things. This isn’t what I wanted. I am wondering what will happen, what my future looks like.
I am focusing on the outpouring of support I have received this week. From Kiera and C, to my friends, coworkers and next-door neighbors, the amount of hugs and comforting words has overwhelmed me. I am grateful to be surrounded by such incredible people.
I try to remind myself: life isn’t about what happens, it’s about how I move through what happens. I’ll get through this. And I’ll get through it in my best possible way: with graceful strength, mindful courage.
Comments
Angie - I'm sorry to hear all of this. Life sucks sometimes, and it sounds like you're there right now.
I know you're strong enough to get through whatever it is, based on what I know about the things you've already made it through. Good luck and please give us some updates if you feel like it.
Posted by: Donald | June 29, 2007 03:36 PM
I'm sorry Angie :( You know I'm "there" for you. Even though I can't give you a hug you have my number if you need it!
Posted by: Jessica | June 29, 2007 03:37 PM
When the shit hits the fan it helps me to remember that we are not defined by what happens to us, but rather by what we make happen, and that nothing can be wrenched from our hands if we refuse to let go. You know I'm rooting for you to at least make it to the marathon this fall if you can manage it.
Know we're always glad to help however we can, and that we're thinking of you during this difficult time.
Posted by: Mike | June 29, 2007 03:45 PM
Here is another hug, Ang. From a struggler to another. It'll make us stronger.
Posted by: olga | June 29, 2007 04:41 PM
I'm so sorry. You can make it through. Sending another hug from Oregon....
Posted by: Sarah | June 29, 2007 05:31 PM
Angie, sorry to hear you are going through tough times. Take care and know that those pulling for you extend far and wide.
Posted by: Steve Ansell | June 29, 2007 06:05 PM
I am sorry to hear about the sad times, Angie. I am sending you hugs and strength from Michigan.
We are all thinking about you!
Posted by: RunnerGirl | June 29, 2007 07:09 PM
Whatever is up with you, I feel your pain. I had almost two months straight of big changes and small annoyances, so I know how you feel. Things are finally looking up/stabilizing, so just keep chugging along, and eventually life will improve. And you'll stop wondering if you made some major karmic snafu. Good luck and hugs!
Posted by: Alia | June 30, 2007 03:16 AM
Life is like an ultra, sometimes you feel good and sometimes not, but you'll feel better, keep your head up!
Posted by: Jack | June 30, 2007 03:44 AM
Sorry to hear about the struggles, but I can certainly understand how things in life can come and disrupt the plans we had. Take care!
Posted by: Rob | June 30, 2007 07:58 AM
(((HUGS))) I am rooting for you!
Posted by: Javamom | June 30, 2007 09:14 AM
if you ever want another person to release to please email me anytime.
take care
Posted by: neese | June 30, 2007 10:13 AM
Katchin-up with you! How time fly’s....all in all the last few months things sound great and the running looks like its going very well..nice job being consistent and enjoying it out there even in the heat!
Sorry to hear this news...I'm sending positive vibes your way for what ever ails ye!
Posted by: Ryan | June 30, 2007 06:27 PM
Hope things look up for you. It is a full moon week which can bring changes good and bad. Hope things are good for you again. Have you seen the story of Kevin's last walk by his father Barry... He ends each post with ..."something good will come of this". I have found comfort in those words this week.
Posted by: Amy | June 30, 2007 06:44 PM
"life isn’t about what happens, it’s about how I move through what happens."
This is the kind of posititve attitude that will get you through this setback. Keep forging forward, Angie.
Posted by: darrell | July 1, 2007 12:37 PM
{{Hugs}} Sending all sorts of good thoughts your way. Hoping some of them help you through your tough times.
Posted by: Kim | July 1, 2007 08:16 PM
(((Angie)))
Posted by: Renee | July 2, 2007 06:09 PM
angie, i am so sorry to hear about the recent struggles. your courageous, positive attitude in the face of it all is a real triumph. i will be sending you good thoughts.
Posted by: matt | July 3, 2007 09:07 AM
I'm not sure if your situation mirrors mine, but I too have had to make some instant and long-term adjustments. Trust me, it eventually gets better and it's important to stay as optimistic as possible. You have to believe things will improve, or they won't. Stay strong.
Posted by: Anne | July 3, 2007 07:06 PM
gosh, angie. sorry to hear this. stay strong, and from the looks of it, you got a lot of friends here rooting for you.
Posted by: E-Rod | July 3, 2007 08:35 PM
Adding my hugs to those above...
Posted by: Sarah Elaine | July 4, 2007 04:35 AM
Sorry to hear about your struggles, hope everything works out for the best.
Posted by: Rae | July 4, 2007 08:47 AM