Goin' to the doctor
With the pain not going away (and actually worsening today), I called the doctor. I have an appointment on Wednesday.
In the meantime, I haven't run since Friday morning. But I did dance Saturday night at a friend's wedding (which, in hindsight, was a mistake!). I haven't been to the gym either, which sucks with all I'm going through emotionally.
I said if he wants me, he'll come find me. And he has. I'm wary, not sure of where we are heading, but we are taking tentative steps forward. I spelled out for him everything I wrote in the previous post. He knows exactly how I feel, how scared I am, how much this hurts. He gave me more insight into his feelings, his thought processes, what is going on inside him. I'm scared that if I wait more, it'll just prolong the pain. I'm not sure I'm making the right decision. Neither decision - staying or leaving - feels right. But this weekend, he started showing me how he feels, how much he wants me; so far, it's enough to keep me here a little longer. How much longer remains to be seen.
Comments
Let us know what the doc says!!
Posted by: Javamom | May 12, 2008 02:56 PM
Good luck with the doc...
Posted by: kevin | May 12, 2008 07:21 PM
Yikes - good luck and let us know how it goes.
Posted by: anthonyp | May 13, 2008 03:10 AM
Keep us posted - we're thinking about you :)
Posted by: Carilyn | May 13, 2008 09:55 AM
Ang...sorry you're having some tough times.
I'm thinking about you!!
HUGS!!!!!!!
Posted by: Karen | May 13, 2008 03:33 PM
I don't really know you, but I feel for you. Hang in there it will only get better.
Posted by: Chanakhya | May 13, 2008 04:40 PM
Get to the gym!!! Work out some of the angst - you'll feel much better! && hope the dr. appt solves the issue! xo-T
Posted by: Taryn | May 13, 2008 05:31 PM
I hope you get some answers from the dr. Take care!
Posted by: Sarah | May 13, 2008 08:55 PM
I once asked my Aunt how she knew that my Uncle Al was the one... she said that she couldn't imagine spending a day without him. They were married when she was 13 and he was 15... they just celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. Anyway, my point is this. Look deep inside and see if he is realy worth the trouble. Can you live a day without him?? Do you see yourself getting over the pain of losing his friendship?? If so, then maybe he's not worth the pain.
Posted by: Tigerlilly | May 14, 2008 07:52 AM
Scratch that... they were married at 17 and 19.. celebrating their 60th anniversary...
LOL.. Sorry Aunt J!!!
Posted by: Tigerlilly | June 12, 2008 08:43 AM