April 2005 Archives

Today is our official rest day… every Friday will be. Yet I find myself wanting to go for a run – I won’t , but I still feel like a run. During the past week running has saved me from anger, frustration, depression, frustration – just about every negative influence that I have had and could have taken out on other people. Thankfully I ran before I could. And it calmed me down so that I didn’t have the opportunity to turn hostile towards the people that mean something to me.

I look forward to the weekend – we’re going for runs on Saturday and Sunday (at least, that’s what we have planned), so hopefully I’ll be a sweet and cuddly teddy bear by Monday.

Have a great weekend!

Last nights running was relaxing and the air was hotter than the previous evening. The first repeat we suffered slightly - my breath thought it was going to disappear into the sunset, but by the second repeat I was feeling absolutely great.

There's a bite of sorts on my left inner thigh, and it really hurts when I run though. I think I'm going to need to see a doctor about it today just to make sure it isn't serious.

Last night the plan was to do 5 repeats of run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, but we felt pretty good and my boyfriend seemed to handle the 4 minute run better than the 3 minute run. He didn’t even use his inhaler once during the run! We ran on the rugby fields, but since it was wet, didn’t venture into the rough on the field right next to it.

The fields that we run on is quite flat and perfect for the beginner stage. Right next to the rugby field where we run, there is a rough piece of field with a slight slope though. One of those fields where you have to watch where you step or you might lose your ankle to injury. We went for a run there on Monday night and had a great time, although we were out of breath for most of the time.

I’m worried about the arm that I donated blood with – it seems to be getting worse and worse with more bruises showing up each day, but I’m not sure if a doctor will see anything wrong with that. I’ll give it till Sunday and if by then it doesn’t start looking better, go see a doctor.

Today is cloudy and it seems like it might rain tonight, but we’ll probably still go out for a run. :)

Last night I got home and after phoning my grandfather whose birthday it was and cooking supper, found myself exhausted and I decided to take a rest day – after all, it is only the first week that I’m properly back into running. I cuddled up on the couch with my boyfriend and watched old episodes of Red Dwarf and The Perfect Murder before crawling into bed. We decided to meet each other at the fields tonight to go for our run as both of us are feeling a lot more energetic today.

I think the odd rest day won’t do harm, especially not at the beginning and definitely not once we’re fit :)

I’m feeling relatively good today, although my arm is still hurting quite a bit after donating blood on Sunday. Bruises now cover the entire length of my lower arm – I somehow suspect that this isn’t normal.

This morning I was watching the Paris marathon (a re-run) and something inside me moved. I wanted to go out for a run, but seeing as how I was already late for work, I figured I should probably rather get into the shower and make my way to work. Tonight we’re due for another 3 minute run, 3 minute walk, repeat 5 times session and I’m really looking forward to it. I feel like a schoolgirl with the excitement that I all of a sudden feel when I think about running.

The whole day I was looking forward to tonights run... there were emotions bubbling through me that just wanted to get me out of the office and onto the fields. I know it might sound silly, but I'm really excited about the fact that I've started running again. And so is my boyfriend. He's almost more excited than I am!

During lunch I went through some of the sites that I've been reading through over the course of the last week and compared some of the training programs that I found to each other. They were more or less similar, recommending that I start running again through the run/walk method.

During our run, the first 3 repeats felt good, during the fourth, I suddenly started feeling really tired. We kept the pace up for the duration of the fourth repeat and then decided to take the 5th one a little easier as we were both struggling just a little.

It definitely showed us that we still had a way to go, but for a second session, that isn't too bad :)

“Frustration is the first step towards improvement. I have no incentive to imrpove if I’m content with what I can do and if I’m completely satisfied with my pace, distance and form as a runner. It’s only when I face frustration and use it to fuel my dedication that I feel myself moving forwards.”- John Bingham (No Need for Speed)

That quote struck a cord of familiarity – I feel frustrated now while I’m running, because at some stage I know that I could run faster than I am at the moment. At some stage I could run 30 minutes without the need to walk every 3 minutes. Sometimes during the course of running/walking, I feel the need to go a little further, a little faster. Then I realise that if I overdo it now, I’ll regret it later. My body needs to get used to the effort it takes to run again. It has to learn anew how to run, no matter how much frustration flows through my veins. Improvement might be slow, but in due time there will be improvement and when I look back on the day that I started, years later, I’ll notice a huge amount of improvement.

Going out too fast too far too soon will only result in injury, delaying that much wanted improvement.

I remember years ago I sprained my ankle – it became so swollen it looked like a tennis ball and went purple all around my foot. For weeks I hid it from my coach and mom in an effort to be able to go to the National Cross-Country Championships. I ran through the pain (I know, I know, I shouldn’t have) and finally made it to the big day. During that race the intense pain I felt had me frustrated with myself and the fact that I just couldn’t go faster as I wobbled along. I lost focus on the race – something I would regret for seasons to come. I shouldn’t have run, I know that, but at that age (16 years of age), you might only have a single goal in mind and not think any further than that goal. Had I taken some time off I would still have been able to run during the National Championships, but I would have done much better than I did. And I wouldn’t have had to rest for the next 2 months and miss the next big championships that I was looking forward to so much.

So for now I’ll be content with the frustration of not being able to run without walking, knowing that soon I’ll be fit enough to run for 30 minutes … and then I’ll let the next frustration take over.

Some people enjoy running by themselves because it gives them that moment in the day that they can be totally alone with their thoughts, their emotions, themselves. The quiet within attracts them and they manage to process happenings and problems.

I on the other hand have always preferred running with a friend or in a group to solitary running. It just gives me that extra little shove that I need on those days that I feel a lack of motivation flowing through me. Since a very young age, I looked forward to the comeradery that you find in running with a group or a friend. A group of people that share a common interest and enjoyment in an activity that makes you physically tired and yet leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and fills you with exhiliration every time you trod around the course.

I miss the old Turtle Club that I used to run with ages ago – the teasing and the fooling around, but most of all the fact that you always felt like you belonged – this isn’t something you always find in the outside world – when running in a group, you find that everyone is equal and no-one will dare make fun of a fellow runner, because they know that at some stage they might have a bad day and it’ll hit back at them.

I’m glad I’ve found my running partner- have you?

This morning my boyfriends first words to me were not "Good morning honey", but "Are we going for a run today?" Yes, the bug bit him too. I nodded and proceeded to make myself some green tea. Less than half an hour the question came again:

"Honey, what time are we going?"

I wasn't properly awake yet, but I just chuckled and grabbed my gear. We drove to the nearby football fields and started jogging around it - 2 minutes run, 4 minutes walk, repeat 5 times, just as the program stated I had to do. The loads of walking frustrated me, but the fact that I had company helped spur me on to finish the session without overdoing it.

Afterwards I felt pretty good, although I felt I could do more. I just had to repeat the old "Don't do too much, too soon" phrase over and over. Next week this time, I'll be a whole lot fitter! :)

I started running at the age of nine and for the next 13 years didn’t stop. By the age of 10, I was training 6 days a week and by the age of 22, I was ready to take a break. I stopped running, because the essence of what was really enjoyable about running had disappeared. The stress of working eight hours a day and training one or two times a day became too much and the fact that I couldn’t make it to train with my old training partners on time anymore contributed to this big step in my life.

I still got some exercise in, but going to gym and doing 60 minutes of spinning with people you don’t know doesn’t give you the same high that you get from running for 10km with a friend and then, out of breath and energy, catch a shower and head over to a pub to have a quick drink together. The social side that exist during club runs and group training disappeared from my sight. On the occassional run that I still managed, I was relaxed and enjoyed it. These happended few and far between though, seeing as how I managed to leave home before sunrise and get home after sunrise – workaholic that I am, I neglected what my body so badly craved. Fresh air and burning lungs.

My running shoes that I still bought suddenly lasted a year instead of 6 months. I had no need for racing shoes. I had no need for my heartrate monitor. I had no need for massages after heavy training sessions. I lost touch with what used to be my reality.

The lonely training sessions at the gym became less and less, and my exercise regime died a slow and painful death.

Earlier this year, after almost a year of doing absolutely nothing, I put on my running shoes and stepped out of the door for a slow twenty minute run. It was heaven. It was exactly what I needed. Suddenly I wanted that again, I wanted to make the time to do it, I wanted to become fit and feel the fresh air in my lungs again.

I’ve contacted a running group nearby, and from next week Friday, I’ll be joining them on their Friday evening runs. I’ve also found a program to take me from the beginning again and build up my fitness so that by next year, I might, just might be able to compete in half marathons and full marathons again – who knows, I might even try to go and do the Comrades in South Africa. I’ve rediscovered my passion for running and hopefully there are people out in the world, that feel exactly like me.

I want to share my thoughts on running, my training experiences, my race experiences, my daily pains and joys of running with anyone who want to listen. At the same time, I really want to get fit and into better shape than I am in at the moment, because I am utterly and completely disgusted with the way that I have let myself go. I almost feel like I’ve let myself down because I’ve fallen into such a state of unfitness that a short trip up a flight of stairs leave me out of breath and shaky in the legs.

So, having found a program that assumes that you’re not running at all yet (as I am), I am to set off on a trip and try to get fit once again and rediscover the joys that running can bring – whether a runners high exists or not!