Do you want a cookie? Ahhhh...leave me alone!

Have you ever noticed how much food seems to be laying around as Christmas nears? I mean I can’t walk around my company with out seeing a bowl of cookies, candies or whatever within arms reach. If that isn’t bad enough there are the roving co-workers that walk around sticking a box of cookies under your nose and ask if you want one or a hundred. I think most of these people have so many cookies at home that they can’t stand to see them any longer so they try to pawn them off on the poor souls at work who have the same problem. Well I have a better solution, take the cookies downtown and hand them out to all the beggars on the street stationed at almost every store looking for handouts.

And speaking of stores, I was in the supermarket the other day. It was like running an obstacle course. Do you want to try our cheese? Do you want to try our new sausage? Do you want to try our new blue bananas? Ahhhh! We should recruit these people to work the service points during the next marathon! Do you want a drink? Are you sure you don’t want a drink? You look like you need a drink. Here take a drink! No one would ever be dehydrated again, ever!

But I have learned to say no. I have actually perfected the art to where I can say no in multiple languages and with various levels of emphasis. I have even mastered which tone of voice to use on which individuals. For the kind-hearted secretary who goes out of her way to be helpful I always answer with a sweet no-thank-you; for the aggressive ex-used-car-saleslady type at the supermarket who has asked me for the third time in as many minutes if I want to try her moldy cheese I reserve my old Sergeant’s command-voice that would make my old Drill Sergeant whimper with fear. And get down and knock out 20 while you’re at it!

At home it has been fairly quiet, my wife has been too busy at work and with her English class to bake anything, so we are pretty much sweet-free at home. The beer ran out long ago, and as I am the only one that drinks it, I haven’t bought any.

My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas dinner the other day. I told her pasta and salad. After I woke up from unconsciousness caused by a blow to the head, she informed me that we will be having turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, veggies and that’s it!

So anyway, down another pound this week, 72 kg (159 lbs.).